章節 41: Chapter 40
UNEDITED-
Annabelle POV-
After a few minutes of crying on the floor.. I finally decided that's enough.. I pulled my self back from Bea and wiped her tears away.
To see someone so strong in a mess like this breaks my heart.. what's left of it anyway.
I stood up from the floor, giving Bea a helping hand.
"I better go tell Florence she can come in... What happened between you two anyway?".. I asked curiously..
"I told her to get out.. impolitely." she said as she looked away and back at me.. I could only chuckle at her comment as I walked to the door shaking my head.. Looks like Bea is back.
I went outside to get Florence, but she was no where to be seen. Panic began to fill my mind and my body followed suit.. the air got stuck in my chest as I glanced around frantically.. I dropped to my knees clutching my chest, only able to perform shallow breaths that did nothing for me.. just when the tears began to well up in my eyes I heard her voice..
"Annabelle, breathe.. just breathe" she knelt Infront of me pulling me up by my shoulders to face her.. "You can get through it.. you just need to breathe.." she said calmly as she began to perform deep breaths exaggeratedly for me to copy.
I managed to catch my breath pretty quickly.. the calm I found in her gaze helped a ton...
"What happened?" she asked..
"I just thought that.. somehow.. they got to you." I mumbled unable to look at her.. suddenly feeling very stupid.. and very emotional again..
"Well they didn't.. I'm right here okay?" she placed her hand on my chin to make me face her again.."I'm here"..
"I know." I sighed.. letting go of the lump in my throat.. she makes everything better. Or the mate bond does.. I'm still not entirely sure which. She wrapped her arms around my shoulders and I instinctively tucked my head into her neck.. she smells so sweet. How you take these things for granted until all you can smell for months is your own shit and sweat.
Without another word Florence stood up lifting me with her.. before she could barely hold my weight but now it's effortless.. is she stronger or.. "Annabelle you weigh nothing."... her expression turned to one of concern as she pulled back to face me...
"I've been on a diet." I smirked. Florence tried to hold her seriousness but it didn't last long.. she let out a small chuckle..
"I love to see you smile." She hummed..
"I thought you loved to see me period." I tried to sound hurt but I ended up sounding sarcastic. "Are you coming?" I asked her as I began walking over to the cave entrance.
"Wait.."
"What is it?"
"Bea?.. is she alright?" Florence asked clearly cautious.
"No I don't think any of us are.. but she doesn't hate me if that's what you mean.. or you"..
"You sure do have a way with words Annabelle" she smiled again.. I smiled back and continued to the door.
"Wait.." she said again but before I could see her face.. her lips crashed into mine..
I let her take control of the kiss, deepening it as she laced her hand up my neck and rested it in my hair. I placed both my hands on her waist pulling her closer.. I could get used to this.. if I'm around for long enough.
She pulled away, brushing some loose strands of hair out of my face as she did, leaving her hand rested on my cheek.
"I love you Annabelle.. more than I ever thought I could love anybody." ..Euphoria swept over me once more as I gazed into her eyes.
"I love you too.."
-----
While I was talking to Bea earlier.. Florence had been setting traps around the mountain.. she's such a forward thinker, one thing I definetly envy. We spent a couple of hours sorting through the place we were about to call home for who knows how long.
It turns out that Ronan had been coming back here for awhile. His stench was all over the place.
I can tell Bea feels guilty about never having checked here but at the end of the day.. he was not good anymore. I honestly feel like there was no saving him..
Maybe I'm just telling myself that. The first time he kidnapped me he didn't need to give me water, I could tell he wasn't like the others.. but by the second time I saw no ounce of kindness. Was it ever there in the first place? I'm constantly having to question and second guess myself, living this way is tiring to say the least.
I guess none of it matters anyway, he's dead.. its already done.
It must feel weird for Bea to be here.. she hasn't talked much since our conversation earlier.
She's only just found out that Ronan was alive, to loose him again.. only this time it was me that took him from her.. I wonder how many more people I will have killed by the end of this.. if I ever see the end of it.
Bea sat on the couch infront of me swilling a drink in her hand.. I sat and watched her drink go round and round and round.. "What are you thinking about Anna?" she asked spontaniously, looking up as she did.
She caught me by surprise, which was probably evident by my expression..
"Nothing.." I replied somewhat conspicuously.. the look she gave told me she wasn't buying my act.. "You want my honest answer?"
"Of course I want the truth Anna." she sounded genuinly concerned.
I looked to the floor.. "I'm thinking about how much more blood will be on my hands by the time this is done.." I sighed..
"We've all got blood on our hands, you're not alone in that." what she said was almost comforting.. almost. She threw her head back gulping the rest of her drink in one mouthful.. We sat in a comfortable silence for what felt like hours..
---
The exhaustion finally hit me.. my eyes were drifting when Florence's voice willed my eyes open..or maybe it was what she said.. "Anybody hungry?" she asked standing in the doorway with a huge grin.
I hadn't even noticed her leave.. in her hand a dead scaly creature..its head was partially crushed. I barely recognised it as one of the things I saw on my first day.. the frog alligator thing.. it doesn't look appetising but I'm sure it will taste great.. Bhleck.
----
"Wow Florence.. this is the best thing I've eaten in months." I said stuffing another slice of the tender meat into my mouth. We were all sat down at a round table eating whatever this thing is that Flo had prepared for us.
"That can't be saying much." Bea laughed as she poked around her plate..
Florence began a chuckle but stopped midway through.. "Annabelle did you say months?" she asked in a confused tone..
"How many was it.. 9..10?.. either way it felt like forever.." I shook my head attempting to shake the horrid memories from creeping in..
Florence sat with her mouth open unable to speak.. I just looked at her perplexed..
"Anna.. you were gone for over two years.." Bea spoke, forcing my confused gaze now on her..
I looked down at the table trying to hold myself together.. "What the fuck.." I mumbled to myself in disbelief and utter shock.. how was I so far off?...I began rubbing my head.. suddenly feeling very angry.. And this new power is getting harder to control.. I felt hands on my shoulders.. I wish they had calmed me down but they only made me loose control more. "Dont touch me. I need air.".. the walls began closing in on me.
Without even looking at who had their hands rested on me I went for the door.
My breaths quickened.. this feeling is very similar to the first few times I transformed.. I only know the difference now because it's happened before.
I rushed outside as quick as I could.. I don't want to hurt anyone.. There's still charred foot prints in the floor of the cave from where I stood last time.
As I got outside all the feelings I'd been bottling up exploded.. and just like that the fire engulfed me..
The energy radiated through my entire being.. even through the sound roaring flames.. I could still hear the faint little heart beat that was growing inside me. They kept me drugged up for years?.. What if they come for my child?.. no..
I will kill them before that happens.
After the panic subsided I was just left standing there on fire.
The anger bubbling inside grew deeper.. I feel like I'm going to explode.. The adrenaline is overwhelming. I tensed my body, throwing my hands down I screamed hard.. streams of fire poured out of my hands and onto the floor. Realising what I just did I thought to myself...'this will come in handy'.
I inspected my hands for a second before pushing them out infront of me.. forcing energy out through them once again. I just need to learn how to control this.. right now I feel like a ticking time bomb..
I began to regain my composure regulating my breathing.. then finally the flames went out. As they did a large blanket was thrown over my shoulders.
I didn't move or look away from the spot on the floor Infront of me that I just burnt.
"This is such a fucking mess." I sighed..
"I know." Florence replied still holding the blanket over m..
"I really wish you did."....
"Then tell me.." She pleaded..
"I can't.. I just.. Can't." I replied defeatedly. I'm not ready to have that conversation yet.. I hadn't even fully thought about how Florence fits into things.
"Let's just go back inside.. Someone might have seen your lightshow.".. She's right.. It's dark and although we are shaded by the mountains either side.. Someone still could have seen.
"Okay" I replied with a half hearted smile.
----
There's four rooms calved into this cave.. Each one has a bed a dresser and a wardrobe. There's also the main room.. It has a brown leather sofa and a round table with four chairs.. We all slept in separate rooms.. None of us opted for Ronans room which laid empty.
I said goodnight to Florence and Bea before entering my room.. I removed my clothes and sat on the side of my bed. "Two years." I whispered to myself.. I let out a deep breath before flicking back the covers back and getting in.
I found the fluffy pillow to be uncomfortable.
I threw it out of the bed. The duvet was heavy and suffocating so that has to go.. Using my feet I pushed it off the bottom of the bed..
I tossed and turned still unable to get comfortable.. I sat up and without thinking, I got out of bed and laid on the floor.
I fell asleep not long after.. Opening my eyes I found myself back in my cage.. I know now that this is a dream.. But that doesn't make it feel any less real. I heard clanging outside my cell beford the guards came rushing through the door.. I ran at them suddenly being stopped in my tracks by the cuffs I forgot were on my wrists. As the first shield smashed into my head I awoke.
I sat up trying to slow my breathing.. "just a dream" I uttered trying to calm myself.
I put a jacket on that I'd found in the wardrobe and went into the main room with a lantern I'd found earlier. I suddenly don't feel the need to sleep. Or the 'want' if that's what is going to happen everytime I do.
I fetched myself a glass of water and sat on the couch.
"Can't sleep either?" Bea's voice came from across the room. The lantern I placed on the counter in the middle of the room did a good job of lighting.. I must be really out of it to have not even seen her.
"Something like that.." I replied groggily.. She got up from the table and plonked herself down nexto me..
"Can I ask you something?" She sounded unsure but even if I say no I bet she will still ask..
"Go ahead" I sighed..
"Did you know you were Fae?" she asked.. I looked at her puzzled wondering where this question came from.. "It's just that you didn't really react when I said it earlier."..
"Yes." I admitted as I looked to the floor.. I just can't lie to her.
"How?, those legends have been buried for thousands of years.. how did you know?" she asked in a serious tone.
"Bea.. I'm going to tell you, but you have to promise it stays between us." I said looking into her eyes making sure she knows I'm serious. I mean.. she might think I'm crazy.. I feel like it is time I tell someone though.
"I swear" she replied, taking my hand in hers holding it in her lap.
I took a deep breath in to mentally prepare myself.. then I began.. "You remember when we first met.. I couldn't control my wolf?"..
"Yeah?"
"Well that's because.. it wasn't 'my' wolf-"
"What do you mean?" she asked cutting me off..
"It belonged to an original Lycan.. I knew I was Fae because, he told me right before you did." Her facial expression changed as she tried to make sense of my words..
----
I told Bea everything except who Leopold actually was.. I don't know why I kept his identity to myself but I decided she didn't need to know.
"Why didn't you tell me about him before? or Mav? or Florence at least?"
"Florence?" I perked up at the sudden mention of her name.. "I had no reason to tell Florence.. She wasn't even sure whether she wanted me." The last time I saw her was the first time she actually accepted me as her mate.. I didn't really get a chance to think about it..
"But she's your mate?"..So insistent..
"Can we please not talk about this?.."
"..ok." she replied with a half hearted smile..
"Now I have a question for you.." I said in a serious tone.. I need to get to the bottom of this.. And she might hold my answers. "Do you know what he did to me?".. I asked without revealing anything.. If she knows what I'm talking about she will say yes..
"Annabelle.." she pleaded softly..
"It 'was' him wasn't it?".. I said as more of a statement than a question.. "Do you know?" I asked again raising my voice.. She doesn't need to say anything.. I know the answer now.. I can see the pain and disgust in her face at what her own father did.
"I'm sorry." she whispered.. Tears threatening to escape her eyes.. The fact that his own daughter has to apologise for his actions makes me hate him even more.
"Without you and Florence I would still be in that cell.. So please, don't you be sorry." I said wiping away the lonely tear that had rolled down her cheek.. I smiled at her and she smiled back.. "I'm going back to bed." I yawned getting up from the couch and planting a friendly kiss on top of Bea's hair.. "And you should too." I smirked looking back at her as I walked to my door..
"I will.. Goodnight." She whispered..
"Sleep well" I replied as I entered my room shutting the door behind me.. Inside I think I knew it was him.. But I just had to have the confirmation.. And now I know.
I laid back down on the cold wooden floor and fell back to sleep. How strange it is, that now it's the only place I can sleep.
----
"Annabelle.. Annabelle are you alright?" a worried voice woke me up..
I squinted my eyes open seeing Florence's face inches from mine.. She sat up, letting me have space to sit up myself.
"Is everything alright?" I asked rubbing my eyes..
"Why are you on the floor?" she asked still clearly worried..
"I couldn't sleep in the bed.." I stated..
"Why what's wrong with the bed?" Bea asked as she came waltzing into the room. We watched her move over to the bed and lay down. "There's nothing wrong with the bed." she stated with a confused expression as she sat up to look at us.
Florence smirked "It's not the bed." She said so I didn't have too. Somehow she just figured it out.
"Oh.." Beas face dropped as she realised what I was saying.. I couldn't help but laugh at the sudden seriousness.. Bea smiled awkwardly as she got off the bed and went back out the door.
I felt like I owed Florence some explanation.. "I'm just not used to this." I said gesturing to everything.. As the words left my mouth they felt so inadequate.. She deserves a real explanation.. She deserves to know everything, but I really just can't will the words out of my mouth.. I hope she can wait for me. I'll tell her soon. She has a right to know.
NOTES-
I have no idea the real amount of people reading this and honestly it doesn't matter to me. Just one person reading means it hasn't gone to waste. So thank you for that.
Feel free to message me and tell me what you think.. If you actually like this it's worth commenting your opinion.. It could improve my writing for the next chapters, or maybe not who knows, but still I'd greatly appreciate it.
Love, Love. Peace.
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Twink_98
Twink_98 You guys have no idea how much this helps me, I feel like I've achieved something each time I upload a new chapter. I struggled with pretty much everything in school and never thought I'd be able to actually write something like this, and people actually read it. I know I make mistakes all the time, but I'm just proud of myself for not giving up on it like I have everything else. Thanks again. I'd appreciate your feedback, good or bad.
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