章節 22: not an option
Since last night Sharon had been ignoring Roselyn, she was barely looking at her and when she rarely did, she was just frowning. Roselyn couldn't understand what was the reason beyond her sister's behavior, but she did felt sorry. She wanted to tell her the truth so that she could prove to her that the King didn't have any interest in her. But she was too scared of the consequences that gesture may lead to, and she was almost sure that saying the truth her family would force her to marry Lord David, or even worse, doubt the truthfulness of her words.
Sharon was occupied in sewing and Roselyn was reading a book, monitoring her and hoping that she would speak at some point.
When she suddenly slammed the book she spoke, "break it off, Sharon."
But no answer was given. Sharon just blinked, pretending she didn't hear Roselun's voice, making her even more irritated by that immature behavior. Roselyn rolled her eyes.
"Why do you think I could catch his attention? You're the one who is always desired by men."
Sharon slightly tensed her jaw having her sister notice that her words impacted her although minimally.
"You have a mob of gentlemen ready to marry you, why are you so wor-"
"None of them is the King." Sharon interjected, giving the pleasure to her sister to hear her voice after hours of silence.
Roselyn smiled genuinely, happy to hear her sister's voice, even if it was filled with annoyance.
"He said he will have us meet his friends, I am sure they are wealthy enough to fulfill all your desires." Roselyn smiled.
Her sister turned her head to the side looking thoughtful, "why do you keep mentioning other people besides him? Why do you think he's not even an option for me?" Her eyes narrowed as her eyebrow knitted together. She let her needles fall on her ground from the anger.
Roselyn gasped in resentment. Her intentions were not finalized in driving her mad. She just wanted to cheer her up and make her realize that the world didn't revolve around the King. Indeed she could have all the men she wanted in a finger's snap.
"He surely is an option, but he doesn't seem interested in the company of anyone right now. What I meant is that maybe he's too shaken from his father's unexpected death and you shouldn't let his disinterest demoralize you. When the time comes, I am sure he will see you the way all the other suitors see you." Roselyn tried to explain her good intentions, but her sister's gaze let her deduce her disbelief in her words.
"Is it what you meant?" Her brows didn't move from the frown they were keeping, until she spoke her final judgement. "I finally realize that the disinterest you nurtured during the years was just an excuse to allow you to have the best you could have. Very smart of you but you can't pretend anymore with me, since I see you for who you truly are."
Words came out of her lips emotionless and in resentfulness, hurting Roselyn so deeply that no words left her mouth. How could she think she would be able to do such a deplorable thing to her sister?
She swallowed the lump in her throat that formed for the effort of trying to hold back tears.
Sharon met her sister's wretched gaze, but right after she picked back the fallen needles and looked back to the cloth she was sewing to start over her work as nothing happened.
"I am sure your thoughts are driven by the anger consequentially you don't have such a poor opinion about me." Roselyn admitted after taking the necessary time to recover from what she's been told.
Her sister didn't reply, breaking completely her sister's heart, who had the confirmation that her sister considered her that way.
Standing there, unable to say anything else, Roselyn rushed through the bathroom and once there busted into tears. She didn't know what was the right thing to do, and every decision she took seemed to turn back against her. She understood that now, the only thing she could do would protect herself. Her mother and her sisters didn't seem to help her and care about her happiness. And nobody was in charge of that besides herself. She had to finally step into the world by herself and hold on there because no one else could do that for her.
She took a deep breath looking at her reflection in the mirror and forced a smile. She wiped off her tears and murmured to herself, "you are not alone until you have yourself in this world".
In her new mental setting, she walked upon the carriage in which Abigail and Sharon already were sitting, to head to the promenade ceremony organized by the court inviting mostly of the inhabitants of Yorkshire, in the memory of King William.
All three sisters wore simple dresses for that occasion which unlike usual didn't involve bows, tulle or lapels.
They didn't even have to wear their as loved as hated corset.
The tension in the carriage didn't loosen up during the race but, contrary to their usual squabbles, this time Roselyn wasn't looking forward to a clarification, neither was she trying to speak or try to apologize for something she didn't need to apology for. Abigail's gaze darted between her sisters, unsure of what she could do to help them find again their bond.
Before the carriage took off, Roselyn stepped out. With a film posture, she started at all the guests dressed up for such an occasion. All their gazes fell on her as people whispered something that Roselyn either couldn't hear or had no intention to hear. The new of the King's visit last night spread quickly that she could read their curious thoughts, just by looking at them.
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