章節 9: Chapter 9: Expectation
Alessa was outside on a brilliant winter morning, the chill air bracing against the cool sweat dripping from her brow while she dug a hole, struggling to pierce the frozen ground as the harsh winter sun glared down on her back. She felt weak and exhausted, her body fighting her every movement. And hungry, so hungry.
"Need some help with that?"
She looked up to find a handsome young man, tall, strapping, with short chocolate hair and striking blue eyes. He was breathtaking; though he approached her with affection and ease, Alessa's heart pounded at the sight of him.
He took the shovel from her hands and plowed it into the ground, easily loosening the section of dirt that Alessa had been battling with. Leaning over the shovel, he turned his back to the others working in the courtyard and dropped his voice low enough that only Alessa could hear.
"I have an assignment today."
She felt her body react with alarm. "What kind of assignment?"
"We're stealing rations. Everyone is hungry," he glanced with concern over Alessa's angular frame, "and we need to keep up our strength. So we're going this afternoon."
Alessa didn't like the sound of this. She wished - not for the first time - that he hadn't gotten involved with these people, regardless of how righteous their mission may be.
"Who's we?" she asked, wondering who would be accompanying him during this harebrained scheme.
He motioned over his shoulder at another young man. It was Isaac.
"Him?" she heard herself say.
"Yeah, why not? He's perfectly capable, and he's been dying to get more involved."
"But you're supposed to be looking out for him!" she argued. "How can you put him in this kind of danger?"
He shot her a warning look. Alessa lowered her voice before continuing.
"Has he done anything remotely this challenging before?"
Alessa could see the flash of doubt in his eyes, but only for a moment before he set his jaw. "Listen, he needs to learn sometime. I can't hold him off anymore - he wants a part in this, and I can't protect him forever. Not to mention, I think it will make him feel better."
"Better about what?" she hissed. She still couldn't believe he was going to go through with this.
He hesitated for a moment. "I don't know how to explain this to you. He feels… responsible, for what happened. For everything. He thinks it's his fault, what happened to our family."
"What? How does that make any sense?"
"It doesn't, but nothing I can say will change his mind - trust me, I've tried. He feels like he needs to prove himself, like he needs to make up for it somehow. So I'm giving him the opportunity."
Alessa's head thrummed with apprehension - she had a very bad feeling about this - but she knew she couldn't change his mind. She stepped forward and grabbed hold of his shovel, locking her eyes with his. "Just be careful."
He smiled brightly, suddenly cocksure. "You know I've got this. Don't even worry about it."
His grin was meant to be reassuring, but Alessa knew better.
"Be careful," she reiterated, the undercurrent of fear sharpening her voice.
"I'll see you tonight," he replied, intrepid as ever. "Bring your appetite."
----
Alessa rolled over and glanced at the clock, a pervasive sense of foreboding draping itself about her after that strange dream. But relieved to find there were still several hours until dawn, she slipped back into the cool dark peace of slumber.
The next morning Alessa woke feeling surprisingly rested and refreshed, the uneasy dream and midnight cloud of anxiety all but forgotten. In the light of morning, the prior day's excitement - and the emotional toll it'd taken on her - seemed almost surreal.
Alessa indulged in a long feline stretch. Sunlight streamed through the windowpanes, catching on the countless little flecks of dust floating lazily through the air. Alessa watched absently for a few moments, breathing deeply and enjoying the unseasonal brilliance of the sun.
She tossed the covers to the side and sat up, swinging her feet to the floor. Sliding into her desk chair, she gave her email inbox a cursory glance, scanning the subject lines for anything that might be more important than her sorority's insubstantial chit-chat. As she finished skimming the list of messages, a new one popped to the top of her inbox:
[Z-E-PI ACTION REQUIRED] PARTY PREP ASSIGNMENTS!
Alessa groaned. On her way into the house last night she'd thought she'd overheard Lizzie and Co. discussing a party, but she had been hoping she was wrong. Now her suspicions were confirmed.
The last party Z-E-Pi threw over Halloween weekend had ended with the acrid smell of vomit wafting under the door of Alessa's room all the way from the bathroom down the hall. On that occasion Alessa had been stuck on cleanup duty; the stench of stale beer still gave her flashbacks.
She made a quick decision to ignore the email and continue on with her day, rationalizing that she couldn't possibly feel guilty for neglecting her "sisterly duties" if she didn't know what they were. If anyone asked, she'd just pretend she hadn't seen the email yet. Hopefully no one would ask.
----
After a busy couple of days attending lectures and cramming reading in between classes - her unoccupied thoughts all the while unfailingly drifting back to the ghost - Alessa was back in her room, ready to collapse into bed. She pulled down the sheets with a frustrated heave of her chest, realizing that yet another day had passed without finding any time to finish the search for Isaac's history.
Before she could climb under the covers, though, there was a quick knock on her door and a bright voice asking, "Alessa? Are you there?"
Alessa sighed. It was Lizzie Green. Her time on the lam had come to an end. "Yeah, come on in," Alessa called out.
"Hey Alessa!"
"Hey Lizzie." Alessa was already dreading the next part of the conversation.
"So, you haven't stopped by yet to pick up your flyers for the party…"
Alessa put on her best befuddled face. "My what for the what?"
Lizzie hardened. She didn't look amused. "Your flyers? For the big anniversary party on Saturday? Didn't you see the email that went out yesterday morning?"
"Oh…" Alessa paused and pretended to think for a moment. "I guess not? Sorry."
Lizzie's expression softened, though she was still grimacing. It was clear that she was making an effort to be nice. Alessa assumed that for someone who was used to being listened to, it must be difficult to feel ignored. She decided to be more compliant. She didn't really have a choice, anyway.
Lizzie continued. "Okay, well, you must have missed it, no worries. You were assigned to marketing duty this time, so there's a bunch of flyers that we need you to hand out and hang up around campus. Preferably tomorrow," she added. She extended a stack of brightly colored paper towards Alessa.
HELP THE GIRLS OF Z-E-PI RING IN
40 FABULOUS YEARS!
PARTY AT THE CHAPTER HOUSE
SATURDAY @ 10 PM
Alessa looked up from the flyers and smiled at Lizzie. "Okay, no problem. I should be able to take care of it in between class tomorrow - I have a light schedule." She would have preferred to go back to the library and continue her research, but decided to keep her reservations to herself.
"Ok great! Thanks for your help." Lizzie beamed her million dollar smile and headed for the door. She paused before exiting. "Oh, and Alessa? Remember to recruit lots of boys. Cute boys."
"Sure." Alessa breathed a sigh of relief as Lizzie closed the door. That wasn't nearly as painful as she'd expected. On the spectrum of party prep assignments, flyer duty was about as good as it could get. Nothing heavy to lug, no money to spend, and no chunks of puke to pick out of the carpet and couch cushions. Flyers she could handle.
Alessa slid the stack of paper in her backpack along with a stapler and some tape, wondering idly when she might next happen upon Isaac. As time passed, the unpleasantness of their last encounter had faded and she found herself anticipating his next appearance, in spite of herself. She knew this obsession probably wasn't healthy, but she just couldn't help it; her curiosity had overtaken her sense of self-preservation.
Thoughts of his sparkling blue eyes and tall athletic frame swirling in her brain, she switched off the light, then promptly crawled into bed and drifted off to sleep.
----
Alessa woke with a start. Frantic, she gasped for air as her eyes struggled to focus in the dark.
What is this place? In a cold sweat, Alessa searched her mind, the strange surroundings taking their time to resolve. The mantle, the desk, the bedspread… she was in her room at school. She glanced at the clock - 3:47 AM.
It was only a nightmare.
Alessa could feel the tendrils of the dream slipping back into her subconscious, even as she strained to weave them together into a cohesive whole once more.
She'd been crouched in some small dark place, hiding, the feel of cold metal seeping through the thin leg of her pants. She wasn't alone. She was holding someone's hand, clutching it, not daring to breathe. She knew they were being stalked.
But why? Laboring to remember, Alessa felt like she was looking through a fog.
Boot steps… Her body had tensed with alarm at the sound of boot steps approaching their hiding place. Panic welled up in her chest and tingled through her fingertips, her muscles taut and ready to spring.
Dread and fear surged through her, her heart pounding through her chest. She'd known fighting would be hopeless - if she was caught, it would be the end.
But the images frosted over in her mind and she could feel them sliding from her grasp.
A bright dazzling light had suddenly filled the alcove, blinding her. A dark gloved hand emerged through the light, snatching at her, at him.
Him… the ghost!
But not a ghost - alive, next to her, grasping her hand in the same grip of terror as the gloved arm reached for them.
The dream was slipping…
They'd grabbed him, yanked him from her side. She knew it was over. She couldn't face what came next. A crushing sorrow descended on her, the tears streaming down her face.
And then she woke up.
What had woken her? A scream.
Her own scream.
One word cutting through the blinding light and ringing clearly into the night. One word filled with all the pain, all the loss, all the hurt that one person could bear.
Her own ravaged voice, desperate to bring back the one thing that meant everything to her, the one thing she needed to survive.
"Isaac!"
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