章節 15: She doesn't know how to pray
It didn't take long when we finally arrived at the temple. Yves, as a gentleman and a caring brother, assisted me out of the carriage.
"I will wait for you here," he said, surprising me a little since I expected him to stick with me no matter what. Maybe he wasn't as clingy as I thought.
"Alright, I will come and find you once I'm done." You still have to treat me some good dessert later, were the rest of my words.
Yves let out a low chuckle as he placed his hand on my head, patting it carefully. "I will come to and find you, silly."
His tone was rather gentle, making me feel a little guilty. For reasons unknown, Yves was slowly growing on me. I never had a good relationship in my previous life, and I treated people as just numbers — a life or two never mattered to me. Hence, having these petty emotions that were slowly growing on me felt strange… but not unpleasant.
"Alright." I nodded and smiled. Marsella's face just had this innocent smile I could use at my disposal. "Don't go anywhere. You will still treat me to a good dessert shop."
I pointed at him, and he chuckle and nodded. "Alright, alright. Now go."
"I'll be quick and will surely add you to my prayers," I said as I turned to my quiet maid. "Let's go, Tani. Do you have any prayers, as well?"
"My lady, my only prayer is my lady's safety and a happy marriage."
"Oh, Tani~! You're so sweet, oh my goodness~! What should I do with you~?" I chatted with Tani happily, humoring her as we headed inside the temple while Yves stayed on his spot.
*****
While Marsella chatted with her maid, Tani, with no thought of their status difference, a smile resurfaced on Yves' lips. He watched them until they entered the temple and were out of his sight.
"Sella…" He gazed down, staring at the palm he used to pat her head. "Should I kill your fiance?"
His voice drifted along with the wind as his eyes softened. Yves only pitied her in the past, since he thought that Marsella's birth wasn't her fault. Hence, he tried to console her. However, Marsella never opened up her heart to anyone and things happened that led her to nearly lose her mind.
'It's my fault that she nearly lost her mind…' He thought, raising his head and set his eyes to the entrance of the temple. '… I hope she never remembers because she's better this way.'
Even though Yves was against the marriage, part of him thought this marriage was for the better. If she stayed in the Ross Estate, who knew what would Augustus do?
"I don't pray, but I hope God will heed your prayers."
*****
"Lady Marsella, let me show you around the temple." A priest inquired as he treaded beside me. This scum only treated me well when I told him my family name.
"Alright." I nodded, keeping my thoughts to myself as I didn't want to sin inside the temple.
As I agreed, the priest led the way and showed me around the temple. I could not help but notice a lot of knights, though.
"Oh, are you curious why they are so many knights here?" The priest's voice snapped me out of my trance, making my eyes brighten up. "Some of the Grand Duke's knighthood brigade was staying in the temple for a while."
"The Grand Duke's knights?"
"Yes. Some of them needed blessings and peace after staying on the long battlefield. So, they seek the temple's help for that."
I nodded in understanding. "I see…" for knights like them who had been in a war, staying sane or returning to normal life was actually harder than being in the war. It was quite an irony, but that was just that.
"So, His Grace is also here?" I asked, arching a brow as I tried not to sound obvious.
To my disappointment, the priest shook his head. "He only visited once. The Grand Duke had a lot of duties in the palace. So, you don't have to worry."
Why would I worry? I furrowed my brows and frowned, but then realized the reason the priest uttered those words. The Grand Duke's notoriety was something that could easily scare any noblewoman and men.
"This is the prayer room, my lady." Soon, we stopped in front of the door and the priest beckoned his hand towards it. I smiled and nodded before he led me inside.
"I will stay out while you pray." He told me and I nodded once again before he left without saying a word.
When I was left alone, I felt this sudden strangeness in my heart. The last time I went to a temple… I massacred everyone.
'So, I don't know why I haven't burned yet.' I thought, walking towards in front of the chancel and stared at the statue, looking all glorious with all the illuminating lights from the stained glass.
"Why?" I murmured, but my voice still sounded so loud with the lack of noise. "Do you have any idea why I am here?"
My words sounded vague if there was another ear that was listening. However, if this statue was the so-called God, then she would understand, correct? She wouldn't be that slow not to understand what my question meant.
"You should answer me, God." I walked towards the stairs, hearing my heels against the marble floor in my ear. "What is it you desire to do? Why the hell am I here? Is it mercy or just an accident?"
I stopped in front of the statue, gazing up at it. What did I expect? That God would respond? If she was that benevolent, she wouldn't let my existence live twice.
Slowly, my hand raised and placed it on the statue. "God… I don't believe in you nor do I believe what happened to me is your will."
There was a long silence after that as I remained staring at it without a word. I came here to get some answers, but I didn't get my hopes up. The reason I wasn't disappointed in going in here and got nothing.
'I promise, God. I will live this life the way I want it to, and no one, even you, doesn't have a say in it.' This was an oath I pledged in front of the statue people worship. It may sound like a challenge, but I felt like I had to tell her that.
It felt as though those words grew stronger in me, and my will to live this life the way I wanted it to solidify. Maybe because I gave my word to her, that's why it felt different.
"The next time I come in here…" I trailed off as a smile resurfaced on my lips, turning on my heel as I walked down the stairs. "… I don't think I will come back here. I hope you don't forget to rest while listening to everyone's prayers."
*****
"… I don't think I will come back here. I hope you don't forget to rest while listening to everyone's prayers."
As Marsella left in high spirits, someone from the farthest corner of the pews slowly opened his eyes. He was napping when he heard people coming in here and didn't speak while listening to a woman's strange prayers.
"She doesn't know how to pray," He commented as the corner of his scarred lips curled up into a smirk. "The Capital surely has more interesting people than I thought."
"Your Grace, there you are! I was looking for you!" Suddenly, a knight came and approached Luis, panting. "The high priest had arrived, and I heard that your fiance also visited the temple today."
Luis raised a brow. "So the high priest had finally showed up?"
"Yes, my liege. About your fiance..."
"Don't worry about her." Luis dragged himself up, placing a hand on his nape as he stretched it. "Just lead me to where the high priest is."
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