章節 134: A Simple Time IV (Flashback Chapter)
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~~~(POV: Nathen Opal)~~~
~~~(Location: Deep In The Forests, Tython)~~~
~~~(Time: 11 Years Ago)~~~
I've been out here for days now. I know if I go back, they'll want to kill me. People died in that cafeteria, all from my lack of control. I can see the way people look at me. I'm not blind to the facts of how different I am from everyone else.
But why does the difference have to be so extreme? When initiates my age try to use The Force, it's hard for them. Lifting rocks, training with our eyes closed, meditation. Various things that all initiates struggle with.
To me, it's like breathing. Lifting rocks is like lifting air. When I close my eyes, I sense the world on a level no one else can. When I meditate, The Force responds in kind to my efforts.
"Running away like a scared child... But isn't that what I am..."
I feel shame at the way I've handled all this. I've probably made things worse by running away. But I feel like it was the only way to ensure no one else got hurt. The Masters might've tried to take my life. Satele and Caleb weren't there to protect me.
If they aren't there, I'm attacked. I can't control it... Everyone would die...
It's not hard for me to live out here. I don't need food or water to survive. The Force sustains me. Something that makes me different too. Jedis can learn and train to go long periods without food. But eventually, they all have to eat.
"What am I supposed to do... What am I supposed to do."
The anger and frustration clashes with the guilt and shame building in me. The results are as you'd expect. Trees around me are uprooted and thrown about. Some are hundreds of feet tall. Rocks and boulders are peeled from their spots in the dirt.
"WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO!!"
Another explosion of emotion occurs within me, and the ground begins to crack. I stand up and leap to a safe place as I watch where I was once sitting crumble into itself.
Forming a large pit. Scarring this part of the forest forever. I don't know how far away I am from the Jedi Temple, but I know it's a good distance.
I turn on my heel to start walking when a man is standing on a tree branch ahead of me. Not more than 15 feet away. The Force always warns me, but I see why it didn't.
Master Caleb would never hurt me.
"Do you want the answer to your question?"
Instead of saying something like, I should come back with him or surrender. He does what he always does. Tries to answer my question.
"No. The Jedi probably want me dead. I know that I'm not welcomed there anymore. I was letting out some... Pent up emotion."
He cracks a smile and lands in front of me. Placing his hands on his hips and looking down. There are stray strands of white and grey in his hair. He is just beginning to show his age.
"You're right about not being welcomed back. I won't lie to you. But it's not up to the Jedi. Grandmaster Satele has ordered your safe return and resumption of your training. It matters not what the others think and feels about you."
For how long will that last? Until the next incident when more bodies pile up. This time it was initiates my age. What if there are toddlers caught in my storm?
"I don't think I'll be going back, Master Caleb. Even if you and Grandmaster Satele want me there, others will just see me as a murderer... A monster..."
In a sense, that's what I am to them. An invader to their peace and solitude on Tython. Someone to bring ruin to it.
"Nathen."
He says my name to get me out of my thoughts, and I look back at him.
"More people will die. Everyone dies. I could tell you it's The Will of The Force this happened. But that wouldn't help you. So the truth will. You will end up killing others while here on Tython. It's unavoidable. But that's the price of power."
I don't know what to say...
"Time is your ally, Nathen. I feel it won't have consequences for you like it would with the rest of us. Now, it's time we go back."
In the blink of an eye, he sticks a needle in my neck and injects me with something.
The Force always protects me from this stuff... Why isn't it now...
I fall unconscious.
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