28評論
4.13
- 寫作品質
- 更新的穩定性
- 故事發展
- 人物形象設計
- 世界背景
與他人分享您的想法
寫檢討
Writing quality is good, not the best but certainly passable. Only problem is more of the story development. There is a constant talk about Tang Zan being the main protagonist and letting him go on his course, yet the main character seems to have taken over the course that Tang San should take. For example establishing a sect and using the 4 traits clan. So what is the whole point of Tang San in this story then? Why even involve him?
Interesting take on the pairing since almost all Doduo dalu fic keep the pairing for TangxWu and whitetiger. Enjoyable to read, and give a sense of curiousty on what will MC do next.
Started out good, but disappointed in the later chapters. It is like that author doesn't have a story anymore. Speed clan, Endurance clan, Strength clan... That is just boring and nonsensical.
to be honest its great but i have read so many doulou fanfic that the concept of MC X Xiao Wu makes me irritated. Though it's great guys. just look at my ratings. But, as i said, i read too much of these and i don't like those at all.
sorry but I don't like tang San dog mc. [img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap]
555555 555555 555555 555555 555555 555555 555555 555555 555555 555555 555555 555555 555555 555555 555555 555555 555555
Строительство королевства , если в других фанфиках гг силен сам по себе здесь он полагается на других в общем бред🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🏿🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕
I like this novel it's unique where the MC don't have twin spirit or some other cheat like bloodline,system or some old monster in some rusted item. he work hard to become strong like creating business or mastering sword even though he don't have sword martial spirit and I like the part of heritage to make a weapon or armor comparable to martial spirit I hope this novel don't drop.
揭示劇透
I have never wrote a review. But I am writing one now because I want to tell the author that this is one of the best fanfic I have read. And best douluo fanfic. So please dont stop writing. Its really awesome.. Thank you
Довольно расслабляющий фанфик. Хорошо прописаны характеры героев. Мне нравится! Не могу понять тех, кто унижает грандмастера, ведь он не только духовные кольца исследовал все свои 30 лет скитаний! У него должна быть куча теоретической информации по всем направлениям. Пожалуйста, выпускайте главы чаще!
typical DD fanfic just follow tang san and the useless grandmaster ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
if you want another follower of tang san and the grandmaster then this is for you if you want another follower of tang san and the grandmaster then this is for you if you want another follower of tang san and the grandmaster then this is for you if you want another follower of tang san and the grandmaster then this is for you
good story.... more chapter please...........................................................................................................
Hi a little update here, i have edit a bit for my early chapters as many have mention it and also note my novel's early chapters till around 15 have copies from other fanfics soo please bear with it. (I'll erase reviews of saying this one a copy as i already mentioned it in the book description perviously. special sorry for @Harem_fan and @DaoistywSJm for me to erase their reviews) also I have just use grammar correction app to hopefully make my story a bit better.
dude update more I like it very much thanks for the chapter author san more chapter please and other readers try this one I like it you could like it also and author san don't drop it please [img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update]
Интересное начало и дух главного героя новенький интересно какие бафы давать будет. И Сяо У захамутает или Тан Сану оставит) Вообще неплохо но как по мне))
🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳
no he comenzado a leerla pero si es de douluo dalu, no quiero que caiga ....................................................................................................................................
it started great with a non OP mc but it went to shit the moment he talks about knowledge the he shouldn't have known without tang san questioning him. how the **** would the mc explain about knowing about the grandmaster past when he grew up in the same village as tang san and no access to outside info. and tang san aaccepts it like it was normal. cmon the guy is a reincarnated person not some kid that wouldn't question things.
Writing quality is passable but the story development is fucking terrible. He bootlicks and follows Tang San and he also accepted being an apprentice of the trash grandmaster. I mean why? the only fucking he made the theories about soul rings and other shit is because of spirit hall and Bibi dong lmao, also don't forget he won't be able to conduct them without protection was because he was trash. The character design was dumb as ****. The MC is a total retard who didn't join the spirit hall because he's scared. He fucking had plans which requires not only manpower but also money which he doesn't have since he does not have a single organization backing him up. Also don't forget the fact that he may be able to make money but he'd be also be targeted constantly without any backing.
it's getting good very much I hope more chapter come up and thanks for your hard work author san update more please and don't drop it [img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update]
it's very good start and I hope in times he can become stronger don't have to be op ad thanks for the chapter author san more chapter please it should keep going [img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update]
Hi hi, Author here, after starting to write this story for a while i'm starting to enjoy it as i saw few people commenting, giving power stones and also put my novel in their collections. it's been a fun journey so far and i'm planning to keep it up until this novel is complete. thing to note though i am a working person and unable to fully dedicate my time to writing novel, but i'm targeting to have at least 3-5 chapter each week if possible and maybe more if the condition is possible. I'm also more of a novel reader instead of a writer do expect my stories influenced by various novels you might or might not have read before. some thing people might ask of my novel is how big the Harem will be, i answered one of the comment and as i said i plan to make it a small harem (around 3-4 people) as i want to focus on the romance side too and make each female have their own story instead of MC just getting harem girls everywhere he goes Will I Make the MC become OP in late stage? the answer is NO, i will make the MC strong yes but not planning to make him too OP and broke the whole story. i've read many good novel that just suddenly went down from good to the worst just simply the MC become too strong and simply make the novel feel worthless and like 'what's the use of all that hard work if he simply become the strongest by using a single weapon or getting a skill that could make him invincible'. there's also a comment saying that i should make a Patreon to keep myself motivated to keep writing novel. i'll take this comment well because i might one day make it if i feel like it, after all no one can tell what would happen in the future. that's all from me for now, stay safe and happy reading. Peace :)
Bro don't stop writing this fic and please don't drop it....... if you want to create a patron page that way you will have more motivation so please complete the fic no matter how long it takes
Шикарный ФИК, очень надеюсь и жду продолжения. Понравился ГГ, ход истории, надеюсь Бай Ченьсян присоединится к гарему ГГ. Ещё можно включить девушку змею Мен Ирен (Meng Yiran). Ну и в самом конце, подобрать побитую Ренксюе.
Writing quality is good, not the best but certainly passable. Only problem is more of the story development. There is a constant talk about Tang Zan being the main protagonist and letting him go on his course, yet the main character seems to have taken over the course that Tang San should take. For example establishing a sect and using the 4 traits clan. So what is the whole point of Tang San in this story then? Why even involve him?
Interesting take on the pairing since almost all Doduo dalu fic keep the pairing for TangxWu and whitetiger. Enjoyable to read, and give a sense of curiousty on what will MC do next.
Started out good, but disappointed in the later chapters. It is like that author doesn't have a story anymore. Speed clan, Endurance clan, Strength clan... That is just boring and nonsensical.
to be honest its great but i have read so many doulou fanfic that the concept of MC X Xiao Wu makes me irritated. Though it's great guys. just look at my ratings. But, as i said, i read too much of these and i don't like those at all.
sorry but I don't like tang San dog mc. [img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap]
555555 555555 555555 555555 555555 555555 555555 555555 555555 555555 555555 555555 555555 555555 555555 555555 555555
Строительство королевства , если в других фанфиках гг силен сам по себе здесь он полагается на других в общем бред🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🏿🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕
I like this novel it's unique where the MC don't have twin spirit or some other cheat like bloodline,system or some old monster in some rusted item. he work hard to become strong like creating business or mastering sword even though he don't have sword martial spirit and I like the part of heritage to make a weapon or armor comparable to martial spirit I hope this novel don't drop.
揭示劇透 I have never wrote a review. But I am writing one now because I want to tell the author that this is one of the best fanfic I have read. And best douluo fanfic. So please dont stop writing. Its really awesome.. Thank you
Довольно расслабляющий фанфик. Хорошо прописаны характеры героев. Мне нравится! Не могу понять тех, кто унижает грандмастера, ведь он не только духовные кольца исследовал все свои 30 лет скитаний! У него должна быть куча теоретической информации по всем направлениям. Пожалуйста, выпускайте главы чаще!
typical DD fanfic just follow tang san and the useless grandmaster ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
if you want another follower of tang san and the grandmaster then this is for you if you want another follower of tang san and the grandmaster then this is for you if you want another follower of tang san and the grandmaster then this is for you if you want another follower of tang san and the grandmaster then this is for you
good story.... more chapter please...........................................................................................................
Hi a little update here, i have edit a bit for my early chapters as many have mention it and also note my novel's early chapters till around 15 have copies from other fanfics soo please bear with it. (I'll erase reviews of saying this one a copy as i already mentioned it in the book description perviously. special sorry for @Harem_fan and @DaoistywSJm for me to erase their reviews) also I have just use grammar correction app to hopefully make my story a bit better.
dude update more I like it very much thanks for the chapter author san more chapter please and other readers try this one I like it you could like it also and author san don't drop it please [img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update]
Интересное начало и дух главного героя новенький интересно какие бафы давать будет. И Сяо У захамутает или Тан Сану оставит) Вообще неплохо но как по мне))
🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳🕳
no he comenzado a leerla pero si es de douluo dalu, no quiero que caiga ....................................................................................................................................
it started great with a non OP mc but it went to shit the moment he talks about knowledge the he shouldn't have known without tang san questioning him. how the **** would the mc explain about knowing about the grandmaster past when he grew up in the same village as tang san and no access to outside info. and tang san aaccepts it like it was normal. cmon the guy is a reincarnated person not some kid that wouldn't question things.
Writing quality is passable but the story development is fucking terrible. He bootlicks and follows Tang San and he also accepted being an apprentice of the trash grandmaster. I mean why? the only fucking he made the theories about soul rings and other shit is because of spirit hall and Bibi dong lmao, also don't forget he won't be able to conduct them without protection was because he was trash. The character design was dumb as ****. The MC is a total retard who didn't join the spirit hall because he's scared. He fucking had plans which requires not only manpower but also money which he doesn't have since he does not have a single organization backing him up. Also don't forget the fact that he may be able to make money but he'd be also be targeted constantly without any backing.
it's getting good very much I hope more chapter come up and thanks for your hard work author san update more please and don't drop it [img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update]
it's very good start and I hope in times he can become stronger don't have to be op ad thanks for the chapter author san more chapter please it should keep going [img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update]
Hi hi, Author here, after starting to write this story for a while i'm starting to enjoy it as i saw few people commenting, giving power stones and also put my novel in their collections. it's been a fun journey so far and i'm planning to keep it up until this novel is complete. thing to note though i am a working person and unable to fully dedicate my time to writing novel, but i'm targeting to have at least 3-5 chapter each week if possible and maybe more if the condition is possible. I'm also more of a novel reader instead of a writer do expect my stories influenced by various novels you might or might not have read before. some thing people might ask of my novel is how big the Harem will be, i answered one of the comment and as i said i plan to make it a small harem (around 3-4 people) as i want to focus on the romance side too and make each female have their own story instead of MC just getting harem girls everywhere he goes Will I Make the MC become OP in late stage? the answer is NO, i will make the MC strong yes but not planning to make him too OP and broke the whole story. i've read many good novel that just suddenly went down from good to the worst just simply the MC become too strong and simply make the novel feel worthless and like 'what's the use of all that hard work if he simply become the strongest by using a single weapon or getting a skill that could make him invincible'. there's also a comment saying that i should make a Patreon to keep myself motivated to keep writing novel. i'll take this comment well because i might one day make it if i feel like it, after all no one can tell what would happen in the future. that's all from me for now, stay safe and happy reading. Peace :)
Bro don't stop writing this fic and please don't drop it....... if you want to create a patron page that way you will have more motivation so please complete the fic no matter how long it takes
Шикарный ФИК, очень надеюсь и жду продолжения. Понравился ГГ, ход истории, надеюсь Бай Ченьсян присоединится к гарему ГГ. Ещё можно включить девушку змею Мен Ирен (Meng Yiran). Ну и в самом конце, подобрать побитую Ренксюе.