章節 51: I am still ignoring Leo
[Warning: This chapter contains content that can be viewed as illegal in real life, reader viewer discretion is advised]
The next day, I went to school with pink eyes. Not even getting an ounce of sleep, my entire brain felt like it was on fire. I decided to run to school in order to wake myself up. However, it seems like my run made me even more tired. The feeling of wanted to fall asleep but couldn't is quite horrible. It felt as though there was a nail drilling into his brain, causing pain from within.
In the 1st period, Hunter found that Leo did not attend class. He was slightly worried in his heart, but in his head, he chanted, "Not my problem not my problem" repeatedly in order to hypnotize himself into submission. Later, during lunchtime. I went back up on the roof. Even though Leo was not hear, Rebecca and James might come find me and ask what was going on, so I had to make myself scarce. The daily task of avoiding everyone I know was slightly taxing to my psyche, but it had to be done.
I continued the rest of my day alone, except for when I needed to drill Adrian, but he can be ignored. I returned home completely tired. I fell to the bed in my own bedroom and tried to sleep. But what came next made me open my eyes again.
In the darkness, I could see a scene of myself as a very young child. I was looking at a vantage angle from above, and could therefore see everything. I focused on my young self. He was walking towards a person. The person was lying to the side on the ground. There were several holes in his body, leaking blood outwards. The pool of blood continued to extend, reaching towards my younger self's feet. Young Hunter, who have never seen this type of strange, warm and red liquid that smelled like iron before, so he curiously kneeled down and placed a hand on the pool of blood, playing around with it. Then, thinking it was fun, he started to roll his entire body around, making his whole body look crimson. Some of the blood went in his mouth, causing him to cough. Unconsciously, he rolled close to the body that was leaking blood in much less proportions now. From my angle, I could only see the tip of his head, there was a shadow on his face, preventing me from seeing who it was. I tried my best to move and found my body floating towards my younger self. I went into my younger self and merged with it.
It was then, when I opened my (and the younger self's) eyes, I could see the face of the victim. It was a beautiful face. His eyes were sky blue, but lost its luster. The nose bridge and puffy cheeks perfectly accentuates his cuteness. His jawline lacks any facial hair, making him look fresh and young. It was Leo.
I immediately woke up gasping for air, my entire body was sweating, and my heart was beating wildly. There was an irresistible fear that penetrated deep within my heart. I stood up and ran towards the master bedroom silently, tiptoeing across the room since Father was already sleeping. I went to the closet and opened a drawer that was filled with Father's socks. I reached beneathed the socks and wriggled something out. It was a pack of Ma*lb*r* cigarettes and a lighter. The lighter was gold and exquisitely crafted. There was a carving of a majestic dragon on one side and a soaring phoenix on the other. I took one cigarette before returning the pack back to where it belongs. Then, I closed the drawer and headed out to the balcony.
As the cool wind blew across my face, my heartbeat still have not shown signs of slowing down. I placed the cigarette in my mouth and flipped the lighter, a light blue fire coming out from it. I reached the lighter towards the end of my cigarette and closed the lighter, putting it in the side pocket of my pants.
As I took a deep breath, filling my lungs with destructive substances, I tried to calm down my mind and my heart. It was then that I found father opening the sliding doors and stood next to me as I puffed my cigarette.
"What did I tell you before about smoking?" Father asked in a soft voice.
"I could only smoke when I'm facing circumstances that I could not face alone but was forced to by fate." I replied cooly.
Father nodded. "Then why are you taking a smoke now?" He place both his arms on the railings of the balcony, facing outside while tilting his head to face me.
"Father. Do you think people like us deserve to love? Deserve to be loved?" I muttered.
"Of course you deserved to be loved. You can love others without bounds as well. What makes you say that?" Father furrow his brows. He already had an inkling of what I was talking about.
"My hands, my body and my soul is tainted by the blood of others." I stared into the sky, gazing at the bright full moon with melancholy. "Do you think an innocent person should touch such a dirty person?"
"As long as that person accepts it, then it will be fine. This is his decision to make, not yours." Father shook his head. He place a hand on my shoulder, comforting me.
"I don't think I can tell him, Father." I tilted my head and stared straight into my father's eyes with desparation. "And since I can't tell him, I will make the decision for both of us."
"That's just selfish." Father slightly raised his voice. "Have you ever asked how that person would feel?"
"It is precisely because I know how that person would feel so I need to end this now." I whimpered. "Or else I would regret it for the rest of my life."
"Then why are you here, somking a cigarette, instead of sleeping like a baby at home without a care?" Father asked in return.
"It's what I deserve." I said with conviction behind my voice.
"No." Father retorted with similar conviction. "No one deserve this. You should not look at yourself in such a way. What would your mother think?"
"Father. You and I are caught in this quagmire." I lowered my eyes to the ground. "Do you think it is right to drag a person down with me just because it serves my purpose?"
"If it is what he wants, then it is not a selfish act, Hunter." Father took my cigarette and threw it out of the balcony. "You should talk to him. Even if you can't say it out loud, I'm sure he will understand."
I stared at Father and started to think. After fighting with myself in my brain, I forcefully answered, "I need some time. Some time alone to think about all this."
Father nodded. He pat on my back and headed back to sleep.
I gazed at the moon for who knows how long. I just knew that I watched the moon until it had completely fallen from the sky.
**************
[This section is in Leo's POV]
Leo decided not to go to school. He felt quite depressed on the inside, but he decided to do this! "Whenever I became sick or didn't come to school, Hunter would always come to check on me! This time should be the same!"
Leo sat on his bed and waited.... and waited.... only to find the Hunter did not come at all. Leo threw his pillow to the ground in frustration. "WTF is wrong with him!" Leo thought in his mind. "Is this the so-called 7-year itch? But we have already been together for more than 7 years!"
He stormed down towards the living room and walked around in circles, thinking to himself. "Is Hunter one of those traditional people that would only have s*x after they get married? That doesn't make sense, he seemed to be quite happy when he forced all those toys inside me a few days ago. Ah! I got it! Did he get erectile dysfunction? But his little guy was standing up happily last time! What's wrong?"
Leo could not figure out what went wrong. Although originally he was quite angry at Hunter, he realized that getting angry would get him nowhere. He needed to get Hunter back, and get him back fast, before anyone else can snatch him up for themselves.
"Maybe Hunter is reluctant to be with me because we can't have kids? No, he doesn't seem to be very fond with kids. In fact, he always avoid them whenever he was close to one."
Leo decided at the end to just think of something tomorrow as he got bored. He stayed in the living room and played video games for the rest of the day. Of course, he got a beating from his dad for skipping school today irresponsibly. However, his mother was able to calm father down before anyone got hurt.
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