章節 3: 34 hours before...
“Sandy?” Cynthia asked.
“Yes?” I said and blinked. I was trying my best not to look surprised or impressed by the office building, which meant that I either looked constipated or, well, surprised.
“Now,” Cynthia gushed. “Try not to be too surprised.”
The elevator stopped and let us off onto the quiet and empty floor.
The hallway was long with a bank of windows on one side and a collection of black and white photos on the other. The sun beamed off of the glossy floor, setting it so that it looked like molten marble. It flickered bright and dark and then brighter, until my eyes watered and stung and blink.
And when I blinked too fast, I remembered...
A blinding light in my eyes…
Yelling.
The smell of iron and smoke and fear and bitterness and bile.
Fingers wrapped around the handle of the makeshift bat…
Knuckles groaned with tension...
The elevator pinged open behind me. Rather than being dignified and joining Cynthia, Cynthia with her creaseless frown, I crouched down and covered my ears. Waiting to be attacked.
Waiting, waiting, waiting.
Cynthia touched my shoulder.
I opened one eye and peaked up at her.
“Sandy?” she whispered.
I was not back in the secondary office. There was no outbreak here, no smoke, no zombies. Here everything was fine.
In fact, a janitor, wearing a navy blue jumpsuit, pushed his cleaning cart off of the elevator.
Cynthia stepped out of his way and smiled. It was a tight smile, the kind parents reserved, as if to say, “Look, shit’s going sideways right now, please move along.”
I took a deep breath and watched him.
He stopped in front of the smudge free windows. He gave the window a good mist from a bottle, watched the droplets roll down the length of the window. He paused, took out a gummy worm, deemed it worthy and popped it into his mouth, then continued with a cleaning rag.
I was not in a smoke filled hallway.
I was safe.
Safe.
I rose and clenched my fingers around the ID and waited for the spots in my vision to vanish.
“It’s fine,” I stammered. “Just a mild side effect...from that day...not a big deal. It’ll pass. That’s what the doctors said,” I added. Whether I said it out loud for Cynthia or me would remain a mystery.
Cynthia nodded at me as if she knew, as if she understood, and for a moment I needed one of her charming smiles that was filled with sunsets and crickets chirping, not this pity that filled her eyes. My cheeks burned with embarrassment. I looked away.
The janitor breathed onto the window, creating a circle. He drew a smiley face into it and smiled at me.
If he could felt safe here, then so could I.
“It’s this way, right?” I said and headed down the hall in the only direction my new workspace could be.
The hallway didn’t end with doors. It opened into a large workspace. This entire wing of the building was dedicated to our team. My team.
The workspace was similar in its layout to the one in the Secondary office. Five separate desks, a common meeting area, a tiny kitchen and lounging area. The difference was how little privacy we had.
The entire workspace was sequestered by a glass wall and glass doors. The remaining walls had floor to ceiling windows and no blinds! It was like being in a fishbowl. Anyone could walk by and see what the team was working on, whether you were typing on your computer, pouring yourself another cup of coffee, picking your nose. Not that I pick my nose, but sometimes there’s that need to itch it and it may look like I’m picking my nose, but I’m not! It was just an itch.
I could almost see Karen, her brows pressed together, her lips a thin line, ordering us around, clapping her hands at random to make certain we felt motivated enough, when really all she was doing was causing Pat and Luke to jump out of their seats, giving Daniel a headache, and causing me to lose another year off of my life.
I could almost hear her...but I didn’t even know if she had been released from the hospital. I didn’t know if any of them had been released. We weren’t allowed to visit one another, at least that was what the legal team had us sign. That and so many more other pages filled with rules, filled with so many legal consequences.
I wondered if I was the first one released? Would I work all by myself until the others joined? Had Daniel recovered? Luke? Would Pattie ever forgive me for leaving her behind...And what about Jack? What about all of the others?
“Daniel, let’s begin by--” Karen said and stopped.
Our eyes met.
I rubbed my eyes, ignoring the fact that I spent ten minutes on a natural look.
Karen’s mouth opened, then closed. The paper in her hand floated to the floor as she raised her finger and pointed at me.
“You?” she asked.
“You?” I returned.
It was her! She was alive and out of the hospital. She looked thinner and somehow harder as if her body was atrophied, but she lived on to spite it. At this rate she might even live forever.
Karen recovered first.
She rolled her eyes and tossed back her hair, which was cut into a pixie haircut, exposing a livid scar behind her ear. I knew without looking that the scar wrapped around to the back of her head where she had been struck with a table leg.
I heard the crack of the wood against her head again and flinched.
Part of me felt some shame for not having been able to stop them for hitting her. But Zombie Karen had been terrifying and I had been relieved when she was struck down. That was the other half of my shame.
She smirked, maybe sensing my shame.
Tears blurred my vision.
Suddenly, I couldn’t stand it.
“Karen, you’re ok!” I yelled and crashed into her. I wrapped my arms around her middle and squeezed, feeling all the hard bones and toughened tissues.
“Get off,” she huffed.
It was a good thing I wasn’t wearing too much makeup. The natural look was trending anyway. Even still, when I pulled away--because I wanted to not because Karen was shoving me to get off of her--I left a tiny smudge of highlighter against her blouse.
“Sorry about the...the head thing,” I said.
“Pfft. Next time swing harder,” she said. She fixed Cynthia with her stern gaze. “What the hell is she doing here anyway? Is she cleared to return?”
“Sandy Mingle is cleared to return,” Cynthia said in a smooth official voice. She tapped a few items on her smart tablet and then fixed Karen with a smile too dazzling to argue with.
Daniel came up behind Karen, holding a cup of coffee. His face was a bit swollen, filling in the hollow space between his sharp cheekbones and jaw. His hair had grown some during his hospitalization. It fell across his forehead in shaggy bangs. Beneath them, his angular eyes appeared anxious rather than steady.
He nodded at me and I gave him a rather dignified response. A response that could not be misinterpreted as attraction. A response that anyone would’ve used. No, I didn’t squeal, or give him a hug, or even a high-five. No, I gave him a thumbs up. That’s right--I, Sandy Mingle, held up my thumb and winked.
Help me!
“Sandy!” Luke yelled and rushed to me. His round eyes gushed and before I could say or do anything else that was stupid, he pulled me into a tight hug and drew out every ounce of breath I had in me. I welcomed his over-the-top hugs. I missed his warm nature.
For the second time today, I blinked back the tears. This moment was almost perfect.
Cynthia tapped on her tablet and turned to the glass doors. “Right on time,” she said and beamed as a girl rounded the corner and entered the fishbowl area.
Her hair was pulled up into two messy pigtails, her square rimmed glasses took up most of her face, making her oval face seem even younger. She wore a Wonder Woman T-shirt with a flouncy, floral patterned skirt, and a pair of Converse sneakers that had seen better days. A random collection of bracelets on one wrist, the latest smart watch on the other--Pat walked into the office.
“Patti!” Luke screamed and ran to her. He swept her up into one of his enormous hugs and swung her around.
I should’ve felt relief at the sight of Pattie, but I was riddled with guilt. I’d left her behind. I’d let Karen turn her. How the hell could I ever make things right between us?
“Welcome back Ms. Cruz,” Cynthia said. “Alright, I’ll let the team get back to--”
“What about Jack,” I blurted out. Karen pinched her nose, Luke and Pat pulled apart, and Daniel sank into the nearest chair. “You brought back everyone else...” I reasoned.
No one looked at me, no one spoke. Maybe Jack’s injuries were beyond repair. Maybe we really did kill him in that room, just to survive. Maybe…
Cynthia smiled that sunset worthy smile filled with oranges and purple streaks in the sky and the first hint at starlight. Her gaze landed on Karen, who nodded. “I’ll let your team manager take over from here.”
Then she left us in the fishbowl office.
We were the first Zombie Outbreak Specialists in the Country, maybe even the world, but all I wanted was Jack to be ok. For all of us to be ok again.
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