章節 40: CALAMITY!
"Xian ge...I.."
His questioning eyes were making a hole in my heart.
"Stay away from my matters Judi and if you are still not going to listen to me then forget about our relationship.
Forget that you have a big brother forget that you will ever be able to talk or see me again. Now go to your class and don't say a word about what happened here."
I turned to check on Ah lam who was bleeding. Her head got injured while Judi pushed her to the wall there. Her body was still lying near the wall without moving. The twister in our life shook me to the core. It was all my fault that I messed up everything. What Judi had done was beyond repair but he didn't know what he had done. what will be the consequences of his doings?
All he did was out of love for me.
All he did was for his love, for me.
All he did was to save his love, that was me.
But the bittersweet symphony that was started to play in our own world, was left with only bitterness part as the sweetness of it was ended because of my mistake. The world around us noticed that we had made our world of feelings, trust, relationships. Which was started to fall apart because of the interruption of the superficial world.
Why?
Why did this happen with us?
Because this world was jealous of our world.
Because it felt threatened by the perfection of our world.
Because our world was beyond their imagination and exceptions.
Because it doesn't count as a natural phenomenon.
Because for them it was a sin...The biggest sin on the earth in their world.
I put my disturbing thoughts aside for some time and ran towards fainted Ah lam to check how she was doing. I put my two fingers to her nose and one hand on her wrist to check whether she was still alive.
She was still breathing, which made me take breathe of relief, but not for long, As I turned to go out of the room to call head nurse of our school, I saw Judi still standing there. He was still standing there, with his eyes down, looking at something or deciding something.
He peered up his gaze on mine and soon I realised he wasn't going anywhere but going to tell everyone that happened. I staggered a step back while thinking about what is going to happen now. His stubbornness was beyond anyone's understanding. which was my fault. I often favoured his hardheadedness without realising it's aftereffects.
I was the one who always completed his all demands whether they were correct or not
but I needed to do something about it at that time and I held his wrist tightly. I pulled him inside the room again and before closing the door, I shoved him to the wall next to the door.
His back hit the wall strongly but still, that pain didn't come out of him, I heard it hitting hard very clearly but willful Judi didn't show it on his face like, like he never felt it or the agony of his Xian ge's talk was more than any physical pain he felt.
And without thinking of it I placed my both hands on both the sides of his shoulders and moved my face closer to his face.
"What do you want Judi?? Why can't you understand it simply? I told you to go to your class. What are you doing here still now?"
He stared into my eyes, without a flinch and my back shivered, because of determination in his eyes.
"XIAN GE I DID THAT WITH HER AND I AM NOT GOING TO LEAVE YOU ALONE TO HANDLE ALL THIS PROBLEM ALONE. THAT GIRL WAS KISSING YOU WITHOUT YOUR CONSENT."
His every word was like a sentence of death for me. He spoke everything in one go with stress and resolution. He announced my death sentence there gawking into my eyes. The pain and determination from his words made my whole world spin around and out of rage, I hit my hand on, the wall which made me winced in pain. He immediately took my hand in his hands and checked on my injuries.
The blood droplets formed on my knuckles and so in his heart. His heart started to bleed for his Xian ge. He tried to take me to head nurse in school but I hold him back with little pull of my hand.
He stopped and looked back at me, with the plead in his teary eyes.
Yes! He was ready to cry anytime in that situation. His Xian ge was acting weird...He wasn't his Xian ge anymore. Only his body was standing in front of him, Xian ge's soul was possessed.
It got possessed by the fear about the people around him.
He got possessed by the hate for his Judi from the people around him. He got possessed by the feeling of sin by thinking wrong about his little friend. With the thought of his miserable future after watching that photo by all the people around us made me push him away from me.
"No, I don't need your sympathy for me. All I need right now is some distance between us and if you can't do it then don't show me your face again in my life."
"Xian ge..."
He cried afterwards left his lips.
"I am sorry Xian ge. It was all my fault but that girl was kissing you and me..."
He stopped saying any further as I step closer to him and asked him with the hate in my eyes for him.
"And you...What do you think Judi huh?? That I belong to only you? That I can't kiss anyone else other than you. That I don't have my own life. That I am not your big brother but your slave, lover???"
I shouted, my heart out to him. Trying to shove him, out of my life so desperately that I didn't even understand what I was saying to little kid. That made a big hole in his soul, never to recovered again out of it.
I pushed him by my right hand and asked him again in an angry voice,
"Tell me what do you thought about me, Judi?"
Then I pushed him again while asking one more time the same question,
"Tell me, Judi, what you take me for?? Your slave, servant, lover...Yes, lover huh? Who can't look at another person? Who can't be with anyone else? Who can't sleep with someone else because it is you who have all rights reserved on me? WHAT, JUDI? WHAT DO YOU THINK OF ME? What DO YOU TAKE ME AS?"
I shouted from bottom of my heart on him to scared him and then his answer took all the courage of my heart to push him away.
"I thought we are soulmates Xian ge. I thought our soul is bound with each other, that can never get separated even after death."
"............"
I was speechless. What should I have said on the truth which he lived it? Every day, every minute, every second of his life... more than me, better than me? He lived it with all his heart, mind and soul but I...What I did...I denied it to push him away from me.
"You are wrong Judi. We are not soulmates. I love someone else, Judi. I love my own life that I want to live with my conditions.
I want to enjoy my life with girls Judi. Do you know how we enjoy it? All girls in this school are ready to throw themselves me, in my bed just to get my touch. Do you understand it? They all want my love, Judi. They want me to love them and you are making it difficult for me. I was enjoying all the love she was showering on me.
We don't belong to each other that way, Judi you understand it?? We are not soulmates. We are not Soulbound Judi and I don't want to discuss that with you because you are too small to understand the basic fact of life. When you will grow up, you will understand my situation.
Right now I want you to go to your class if your Xian ge to get happy."
"We are not soulmates Xian ge then why you are not letting me take the blame of hitting her on me? Why you want to sacrifice yourself for me???
Xian ge, I know why you want me to go in my class, so you can take all the blame on yourself. Just like you always do. You always saved your Moon no matter what my Earth and still you are saying that we are not soulmates. Xian ge I don't understand anything in the world of yours but I understand my Xian ge. I am going Xian ge."
As he said it, he left me alone speechless in that old storeroom. My whole body jerked back when he closed the door with a loud thud. I ran behind him till door and saw his disappearing silhouette.
Not realising the aftereffects of letting him go away from me, I took Ah lam to nurse station and called mama and baba for my help from there.
They were the last and only hope of me to coming out of the situation without letting others know about what happened but I was late. I should have taken there help when first time Ah lam told me about photographs. I was late in understanding the whole result of the situation. I was late in taking their help.
I was late in understanding my Judi.
I was late to realise the only love in my life.
I was late to realise what he was up to that day when he told me that he was going...I should have asked him where and why?
AUTHOR'S NOTE:
It's sad to let go what is yours when you know you can't live without it. Love always takes your exams. Makes you do what you never want to do but saving your only love we can go to any extent even when your image and life is at stake.
I love the way they love each other. Dear readers, be with book, things are not going to get twisted here. There is a lot to come, a lot.
-- 收到的禮物 
-- 推薦票
榜單 
-- 推薦票