章節 397: Golden years
"Hahaha." Hazel burst into loud laughter, laughing uninhibitedly. Her laughter was so intense that it triggered a fit of coughing. Even so, the laughter couldn't be contained. Tears welled up in her eyes, and she had to raise her hand to wipe away the tears that threatened to scald her hand as they fell.
Seated to the right of the square table was Lily, who had laughed herself voiceless. She clutched her stiff belly, slumped in the chair, shoulders shaking with the effort not to burst into laughter once more.
Seated to the left of the square table was Paul, who had started laughing so abruptly that he spewed beer. Luckily, he had lowered his head just in time to avoid Lily's embarrassing fate. Nonetheless, Paul was a mess himself, his hands and chest drenched in beer, looking quite disheveled.
Facing them was Renly, who wore an expression of indifference. He seemed as though he had no idea what had just happened, calmly placing his beer down and crossing his arms to support his weight on the back of the chair. His calm gaze carried a hint of puzzlement, as if saying, "You guys find this funny? Your sense of humor is quite simple."
Ironically, this scene only made Hazel laugh even more brightly. She felt like her abdominal muscles were being exercised.
"Hey, hey, guys." Neil Tuson walked over, wearing a complaining expression and warning, "This is Jazz Bar, not a stand-up comedy bar. Tone it down a bit, tone it down." He then placed a glass of lemon water in front of Hazel, exaggeratingly furrowing his brows and saying seriously, "You'd better not be sneaking beer, or you might get us into trouble."
Hazel raised her hands in surrender, mockingly retorted, "Yes, yes, Grandpa."
Unexpectedly, Neil didn't seem to mind at all. He turned away, hunching his back and imitating the posture of an old man. Using an imaginary cane, he limped away.
This coordinated act left Hazel dumbfounded, while Lily and Paul, sitting beside her, burst into laughter once again. However, both of them were running out of energy, having laughed so much that their voices were now somewhat hoarse.
After pondering for a moment, Hazel also burst into giggles.
The movie was over, and what Hazel had wanted to do for the past few months was finally achieved today. However, she wasn't eager to return to the hospital—at least not so soon.
Having spent quite a bit of effort, she not only aligned herself with Lily, whom she had just met, but also managed to rope Paul into it. She even used her trump card to persuade Renly to take her to Village Vanguard to have a look.
"Missing out this time, I don't even know when the next chance will be. I don't even know if there will be a next time."
Hazel knew that this statement carried significant impact, but that was exactly her intention. After all, she was already ill, an unchangeable fact. Why shouldn't she make the most of it? Besides, she was speaking the truth.
So, they arrived at Village Vanguard. They had afternoon tea, followed by dinner and a performance in Village Vanguard.
This was the happiest day Hazel could remember.
Before falling ill, she always had countless expectations and wishes about growing up. She had envisioned herself tagging along with a group of friends to bars, teasing the handsome bartenders, and dancing freely on the dance floor. She had also imagined making friends through music like a hippie, sitting on street corners with a bunch of newfound strangers, chatting till dawn. She had even thought about holding the hand of a boy she liked, standing by the Hudson River, watching the sun rise slowly...
But, before she could really grow up, the footsteps of life were about to abruptly halt. She might not even live long enough to legally drink alcohol.
Raising her head, she looked at the jazz singer performing on the stage. The melancholic tune carried a subtle sadness, like smoke swirling around her fingertips. She watched Neil busying himself behind the bar, engaging in cheerful conversations with the patrons nearby. She observed a woman not far away, dressed in a cheongsam and adorned with a pearl necklace. With an elaborate hair bun and dignified attire, she sat alone, wholeheartedly engrossed in the performance...
Life was so beautiful, each moment shining brilliantly, pervasive, even time had turned gentle. But, an inexplicable sorrow surged forth, without warning. She was so happy, genuinely happy today, yet the happiness had reached its zenith and was beginning to taste bitter.
Her legs seemed to be swelling a bit. Today, she had managed to walk within her limited capacity, refraining from using a wheelchair, but at this moment, her calves and thighs started twitching uncontrollably. Her bones were rebelling, every muscle ached intensely. The fatigue she hadn't sensed before was now seeping out, cell by cell.
Raising her hands, she saw her fingers curl uncontrollably, trembling slightly. She exerted all her strength to regain control, but it had no effect; her hands continued to tremble.
Panic, an uncontrollable panic, engulfed her in an instant, too sudden to react. The sensation of suffocation left her gasping for air. She raised her hands to cover her cheeks, but before her hands could reach, tears began to fall. The scalding temperature pierced through her fingertips, almost burning her skin.
She was only sixteen.
Why? Why was fate so unjust? Why her? Why was she afflicted with this illness? What had she done wrong? What had she done to deserve such punishment? All she wanted was an ordinary life, a normal life for a sixteen-year-old girl. Why, why was that too much to ask for? Was she being too greedy? Was she condemned to watch herself inch towards the end of life, helpless?
Why?
Amid her laughter, tears started rolling down. Despair, so unexpected, struck her chest fiercely, like drowning.
"Hazel? Hazel? What's wrong?" Renly was seated directly across from her. He was the first to notice Hazel's distress and immediately got up, attempting to ask what was happening, but he was brushed aside by Hazel.
However, there was no strength in Hazel's push, her actions seemingly devoid of energy. A sense of powerlessness and helplessness radiated anger and despair. Struggling seemed futile, as there was no effect.
Renly let his hands drop and crouched down beside Hazel. Lily and Paul, sitting next to her, encountered such a situation for the first time, caught off guard and unsure of what to do.
"Step back, step back." Hazel shook her head with all her might, only managing a slight movement. Her muscles were strained to the utmost, and yet, they were also incredibly weak, making it almost impossible to move. "Leave me alone, I'm fine on my own. You can't help, none of you can. Just go away."
Hazel knew she was too emotional now, having lost control, but she didn't care. Nothing mattered anymore; she just needed to be alone. She was like a drowning person, desperately calling for help yet pushing away anyone who came close.
Renly didn't say much, just crouched by her side, quietly present. He didn't come closer, nor did he leave.
Time flowed on quietly like this, the female singer on the stage softly humming, lazily sensual. The cacophony and restlessness in the air gradually settled.
Hazel cried herself out. Today had drained her of too much energy, leaving her utterly exhausted. Amidst the wailing, as if all her strength had erupted at once, she suddenly withered. She couldn't even support her shoulders anymore.
But still, she buried her face in her palms, unwilling to look up. She knew she must look incredibly disheveled right now, and she didn't want others to see her like this. She felt embarrassed to the point of not being able to raise her head. She didn't even know what had happened to her; it was an instant collapse, so sudden, without reason.
Derek entered the bar, but he wasn't in the mood to feel the atmosphere. Guided by the hostess, he easily found his target. At a glance, he spotted Hazel hunched over and Renly crouching beside her.
Had something happened?
"What's wrong? Hazel? Are you okay?" Derek's heart seemed to constrict suddenly. He nervously inquired, walking briskly over. Renly smartly vacated the spot, allowing Derek to kneel beside Hazel, carefully assessing her from top to bottom. He was cautious, afraid his movements might trigger unforeseen consequences. "Hazel, don't scare me. Are you okay?"
Hazel covered her cheeks, shaking her body to indicate a negative response. "I'm fine. Dad, I'm fine. I'm good today, everything's fine. I just... I just need some space."
Deep within Hazel, a wail resounded; she felt deeply ashamed of herself.
At such a joyful and blissful moment, she suddenly broke down into heavy sobs, crying uncontrollably, and even unable to control herself. It was already quite embarrassing; if she were seen with her tear-streaked face and runny nose, she'd never be able to face Renly again.
Now, even her father had arrived, and she had no idea what she should do anymore.
"Hazel, do you need to go to the restroom?" Lily's eyes sparkled as she suddenly spoke up from the side.
Hazel nodded repeatedly, eager to affirm, "Yes, yes."
The other three present were all men and naturally didn't understand the needs of girls. Hearing Lily's words, the three exchanged glances.
Derek stood up, making way, and watched as Lily guided Hazel into the restroom. Hazel kept her hands buried in her palms the whole time, refusing to lift her head, a sight that was genuinely concerning.
After the two girls disappeared around the corner, Derek finally realized, "Is there proper accommodation in the restroom here?" Derek was referring to the accessible facility designed for disabled individuals, with enough space to accommodate a wheelchair.
Renly nodded affirmatively, but his gaze remained fixed on the direction of the restroom, a tinge of melancholy in his heart.
In reality, he could understand Hazel's emotions. The more beautiful and genuine happiness life held, the harder it was to control the ambivalence of losing it. Because deep within, they both knew that all of this was fleeting, like fireworks that bloomed and vanished, leaving no trace behind.
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