8評論
- 寫作品質
- 更新的穩定性
- 故事發展
- 人物形象設計
- 世界背景
與他人分享您的想法
寫檢討
I had this idea thanks for making it ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,.........,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
[img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend]
Mmmm e leído muchas novelas, pero comparándolas con muchas MUCHAS que recuerdo y eran perturbadoras (en serio hay muchas historia ya sea Gore, Psicológica, etc) y esta por lo menos la veo curiosa---- es mas ni me afecta, ya he visto suficiente para que esta ni siquiera me produzca nada... Un mensaje para el autor: Espero su siguiente actualización con algunas sorpresas y gracias
well ... sorry author but your story is bad, your balance is bad, your writing is bad, just by reading the first chapters I already saw an almost constant "Deus ex machine" in the future of this story if you continue it, as a recommendation you should Go back to the drawing board and refine the plot a bit, along with the writing and also look to the future a bit, but, not that it matters, you can continue this story and improve through future chapters and then rewrite the first ones.
AS A CREATOR OF THIS WORK I RATE IT POORLY........SO 5 STARS IS IT HAYYSS HAHAHHAHAH BTW I FORGOT THAT SHE'S TWO YEARS OLD HAHAHHAHA AND THE ONE THAT I THINK IS 8 OR ABOVE AND MY TASTE IS NOT LOLI IT'S MILF
well if you like an mc who gets exited by his 2 year old sister be my guest and read this story.... "imo" this author should have his balls chopped off ... he takes the loli things and perverse it to the extreme with a 2 year old child made me wanna throw up but yeah everything else is pretty ok ..
👍👍👍-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
I had this idea thanks for making it ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,.........,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
[img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend]
Mmmm e leído muchas novelas, pero comparándolas con muchas MUCHAS que recuerdo y eran perturbadoras (en serio hay muchas historia ya sea Gore, Psicológica, etc) y esta por lo menos la veo curiosa---- es mas ni me afecta, ya he visto suficiente para que esta ni siquiera me produzca nada... Un mensaje para el autor: Espero su siguiente actualización con algunas sorpresas y gracias
well ... sorry author but your story is bad, your balance is bad, your writing is bad, just by reading the first chapters I already saw an almost constant "Deus ex machine" in the future of this story if you continue it, as a recommendation you should Go back to the drawing board and refine the plot a bit, along with the writing and also look to the future a bit, but, not that it matters, you can continue this story and improve through future chapters and then rewrite the first ones.
AS A CREATOR OF THIS WORK I RATE IT POORLY........SO 5 STARS IS IT HAYYSS HAHAHHAHAH BTW I FORGOT THAT SHE'S TWO YEARS OLD HAHAHHAHA AND THE ONE THAT I THINK IS 8 OR ABOVE AND MY TASTE IS NOT LOLI IT'S MILF
well if you like an mc who gets exited by his 2 year old sister be my guest and read this story.... "imo" this author should have his balls chopped off ... he takes the loli things and perverse it to the extreme with a 2 year old child made me wanna throw up but yeah everything else is pretty ok ..
👍👍👍-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________