章節 21: getting booty called (not), too dumb to do magic, and daedras are a cheat.
I'm trying a new writing style (?).
basically, when i use someones POV, i just make the narrator say what the character is doing. i want to try and actually make the character be the narrator in this chapter.
let me know which writing style you prefer.
also i have Been thinking, why give you guys two 2k Word chapters, when i can give 1 with 4k or more Words?
so in a way, i did keep my promise!
also, i need a favor, THIS is the chapter where i want you grammar nazi's to use as ammunition, for you to point out my bad grammar! unleash hell, make me feel suicidal for sucking at ENGRISH! (yes i misspelled it on purpose)
Also let me know if the chapters grammar is acceptable, not GOOD but acceptable. I am trying to work on my spelling but to be honest i dont think i am doing a good job.
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Harry: you're a what?
he asked, wondering if he heard me correctly, and i cant really blame the little guy, he was raised by muggles, and not only that, but the muggles were so afraid of magic that they probably never told him about it even tough he was a wizard.
to make things easier i decided to use a little firebending to create a flame on my palm. It wasnt magic, but it sure looked like magic, and thats whats counts.
i didnt need to wait for long. Harry's eyes opened so wide that i was afraid his eyeballs would pop out. Vernon's on the other hand let out a silent scoff, and send the fire in my palm a glare.
Harry: woah.
he said, while in pure awe.
i waved my hand and made the fire in my palm vanish. Now that i proven to the young wizard that magic doesn exist, its time to deliver the shocking news...again.
Sam: not only that, but you are one too!
Harry: what!?
he said in a whisper shout, as he looked me in the eyes.
Sam: i came here to take you with me, and to teach you magic.
not even gonna try to sugarcoat it, Harry would probably agree to leave this hell house no matter what.
It was taking my entire willpower to not punch Vernon's face and break his nose, or Jaw. The books didnt do much justice to describe how horribly malnourished this boy was. It was not enough for people to call the authorities, but Harry was skinny...TOO skinny...
maybe he should "visit" the Dursleys sometime at night to have a nice "talk" with them? yes that sounds like a good idea, lets do that.
but not now, for now lets focus on the matter at hand and just take harry away from here.
Harry: c-can i?
He asked while looking at his Uncle, it was a rather difficult situation for a...i was going to say 11 year old, but looking at him he seems younger...maybe 7? 6?
Or is this just because he is malnourished? Hey system, my homie, can you help me?
[he is 7]
thank you.
[your welcome]
i seriously dont know what would i do without him/her, not only is he/she a good company, but his/her limited omnipotence is pretty handy.
also, since harry is 7 year old, that means that he will go to hogward in 4 years right?
...new plan! make harry a nuke, and then send him to hogwards!
I'll make sure to make Harry so OP that Dumbledork will have a heart attack when he see's him! that will be glorious!
Vernon: alright, now get out of here!
wait what? oh...oh! apparently i got so lost in my own thoughts that i didnt notice Harry packing his shit up! he was already finished by the looks of it! ...does he seriously have so little that it fits in a simple backpack...damn, thats just sad.
Sam: right! come on harry, take my hand.
the little wizard is surprisingly calm about this. Maybe all the news didnt quite settled in yet? he must be quite shell shocked, but i guess thats a normal reaction when you learn that magic exist, and that you're a wizard.
when the boy grabbed my hand the system teleported us back to skyrim, where my Lynel was waiting patiently.
...huh.
Harry just pissed himself...cant blame him, a Lynel must look quite scary for a 7 year old.
dear god what did i got myself into?
---monke POV (Mori Jin)---
(A/N: i have no idea how to write Mori Jin thoughts, i will of course try to fix this in later chapters, but for now...sorry.)
what the hell is this...no seriously! WHAT. THE. HELL.
when i got into the arena today, dodging a giant scythe wielded by a clown ghost is not what i expected! (A/N: its a jester you uneducated fu-) why am i still fighting anyway! i won already!
i didnt think, i just dodged, dont get me wrong im tough, but a giant scythe will probably cut me in half. scratch that...it WILL cut me in half!
maybe i can beat this thing? jumping on the snath...thats how the handle of a scythe is called right? snath?? never mind that, after i jumped on the snath i started to run on it toward the clown (A/N: JESTER!!) with the hopes of punching this thing, but the damn thing grabbed me and pinned down to the ground!
fu-frick. dont swear, grandpa told me to not swear...or i will get hit again. (A/N: Garp would prove)
watching the blade being falling down on me i closed my eyes and turned my head away. I-...I was scared, death was literally a step away from me and i was not able to move...
i waited. and waited. and waited.
nothing.
cracking my eyes i turned my head only to see that "thing" staring back at me before vanishing into black smoke, and executive Q being held back by the rest of his peers.
i didnt care, i just laid down and drifted away. "Jin Mori you've won" someone said, i didnt care, there were more important things right now, for starters.
Mori Jin: im starving, Gimme...banana...
ah, if there is something better then fighting, then its probably eating after fighting!...just what the hell was that? something like that should not exist, its like a fantasy...kinda like that weird app.
---Sam POV---
(A/N: what? i didnt lie! i did show you Mori Jin! just not for long xD! get dunked on suckers!!)
okay, one change of pants later and Harry instantly becomes BFF with Puss. As for the Lynel in question? he doesnt care, or at least thats what i think...my summon monsters apparently dont have Free Will, or it is extremely limited at least...but doesn that mean that they have no emotions? he doesnt show any to Harry, no matter what the 7 year old wizard does to him.
maybe the beast doesnt react because Harry is my Ally/Companion/Student? does it not react because it truly doesnt mind it? or does he not react because he doesnt have any emotion in the first place? after all emotions are a wildcard, and thus i is not very appreciated in a being that exist only to fallow orders.
but my summons will never be able to harm me, act against me, or refuse to do my order...if this Lynel, and any future beast's i will acquire, do posses emotions...
thats fucked up. Imagine obeying someone who you absolutely hate, and cannot do anything about it.
im a bad guy, no really i am! let me remind you about something. Remember when i first summoned my Lynel? it was in Whiterun, while i was in dragonsreach.
the Thane wanted me to become one of his man, and I summoned a Lynel in the middle of that city in order to cause chaos, so I can run away.
if you somehow dont get it yet, let me be blunt.
I Summoned a MONSTER in a town full of people, and ordered to destroy and kill people just so i can get away from a awkward/annoying situation! and to be absolutely honest...i dont care one bit.
i dont know these people, they are not important to me, they serve no purpose to me! And in all honesty, in the elder scrolls there exists an afterlife, and all the people that i indirectly killed trough my summoned Lynel landed in whatever afterlife they got.
So its not like i took something away from them.
they will still exist, just in a different plane of existence! what if i killed someone that was a part of a family? well his family will join sooner or later, just wait a little!
hell, to be honest i made them a favor. The Afterlife is just better then life! ...if you played your cards correctly that is.
those who struck a deal with a daedra will go to that daedra afterlife, and live in their domain inside of oblivion. Everyone will get the afterlife they deserved, or got themself into.
so maybe i am not a bad guy after all?...nah, maybe what they got is not that bad, but it doesnt change the fact that i killed just because it was convenient for me.
so yeah, i am a bad guy! but im not cruel.
the though of my summons obey me...being FORCED to obey me, when they dont want to, either because we could have different wold view, or other reasons, is...disturbing.
...i hope that my summons dont posses emotions. And if they do...well the only thing i can do is to make them like me, and agree with me, or just not use them.
i let out a sigh and pushed those thoughts away into the back of my mind. There is no need to think about this, there is no way i can change this if they end up having emotions.
i watched Harry try climb to the top of the lynel head, and let out a little smile seeing how horribly failing he was, fortunately the Lynel caught him every time when he slipped and fell.
the day passed quickly, and to keep Harry from being bored I gave him a book...i have no idea what book, i just knew it was a science fiction one. At some point he asked me when am i going to teach him magic...yeah good question? when? the only magic i know is...well none to be honest!
thu'um is not exactly "magic" and i doubt i would be able to teach even 1 Shout to harry before Hogwards.
so how can I teach harry magic? THINK BRAIN THINK!!!
uuuuuhhhhhhh....*brain E.x.E Blue screened*
welp...fuck.
[chose. {Yggdrasil magic (Tier magic)}, {Power of Chaos (witcher magic)}, {Clever art (elder scrolls magic)} ]
System i love you Buddy! if you would have a body i would kiss you right now! right in the lips, a passionate french kiss so intense you would deep throat my tongue!
[+30 rep with the system! (60/100) *blush*]
oh~
[NO! -30 rep with the system (30/100)!!!!!!!]
[God: Accept your feelings! [[reputation with the system has been set to (60/100)]], Sam i am expecting grandchildren in the near future]
wait what? my brain just started to overheat, not because of God just casually hacking the system and start teasing him, but because one single word.
"Grandchildren"...is...is the system...the son/daughter of God?
Wait, so that means the system is a girl right? if god wants grandchildren then that means that that the system has a vagi-
[dont you dare to end that sentence!]
...-na.
[*incoherent screeching*]
[[the system has been set on autopilot]]
did...did the system just hang up on me?
hello? system? are you there?
...i will give you a kiss if you say something~
...okay so she is not here, otherwise there would be a reaction....Damn this is a weird situation. How long has it been since he started to travel with it-...her, the system is a she, I need to remember that.
...does she have a name? i should ask her.
okay, so lets forget about this right now, i will deal with this when she returns. For now lets focus on my 3 choices.
Tier magic from the Overlord anime/manga/novel.
harvesting chaos energy to use magic from the Witcher books/games.
or using the ambient energy that the mages in the elder scrolls use. Because yes, the Magicka does not come from the mage, according to the lore, Magicka is found in the natural environment.
Overlord magic is OP...if you are a Yggdrasil player that is.
people in the Overlord world could study their whole life's, but it would still be night impossible to win against the weakest NPC in nazarick. The only people who had a chance to survive are the descendants of other players that ended up in the new world, But even most of them got bitchslaped away!
who actually was a real threat in the new world for Nazarick?...the dragon overlords and their wild magic if i remember correctly.
...why am i even talking about Overlord story? ugh, i got sidetracked. Okay...so, if i remember correctly the highest tier that a human could use is 6th tier magic. But then again, i am not a normal human, i am the Perfect human! so could i use 10th tier magic, or even Super-tier magic?
hey system can i use-...oh, right she is gone.
...lets consider the other options.
the witcher magic is a big nope. Sorry fanboys but that magic is just too risky.
Magic studies are dangerous, one misstep and you will end up with a magical explosion to the face, or being changed into an animal/monster/ghost or other thing. And this is the Problem, Chaos energy that mages harness in the witcher universe in order to use magic is...to Chaotic, hard to control and straight up dangerous to not only other people but to yourself.
i read some of the stories about those idiot mages that meet their tragic fate because one miscalculation.
so, yeah...Witcher magic is a big nope.
elder scrolls magic. Magicka.
its not actually that pathetic as many believe it to be. If i remember correctly there was even a mage who straight up created a spell/magic ritual to become a fucking god! The only thing i cant bring myself to remember is the price for it.
Maybe the same as the one that "the father" from fullmetal alchemist had to pay? souls? idk i'm not sure.
okay, so....Tier magic, or Magicka? hmm...this is hard-
[God: you can handle super-tier magic]
Tier magic! no doubt tier magic! will i need to study and put all my mind and spirit into it? probably! Tier magic is hard to do! but it will be worth it!
no wait, now that i actually think about it, I could be too stupid, to learn tier magic...im not the smartest, hell if im honest im a fucking Moron!
ughh...so Skyrim magic It is then...
...
...
...
but Skyrim magic is also complicated.
oh no, OH NO! Im...im to stupid to use magic? ☹️😦😭
shit,shit,shit!
i cant use magic in a fantasy world? what bullshit is this! well its not like i cant, i just probably need to study for It, but i would probably gave up after ...the first page.
???: s--
okay pros: fucking magic.
cons: study.
???: sa-
hmm a difficult choice indeed...
Azura: Sam!
...azura? why can i hear her in my hea- oh right, magic.
but why is she calling me? is this a booty call? is azura horny? sure Hope she is! i could use some sex right now, take my mind off, the difficult choice i am facing right right now.
my vision suddenly become blurry as my surroundings shifted. The forest changed into a endless body of water, It was Perfectly still not even a single ripple could be seen on It.
the entire sky was Dark and It was colored only by thousands of stars, and nebulas floating far, far away...where the hell Am I?
Azura: i needed to physically transport you into my domain in order to speak with you. Honestly, why are you so troublesome?
right in front of me was Azura, many of you probably would want me to describe her. how incredibly beautiful she is, how fair her skin is, how THICC she is..but y'know what?
no.
i am greedy. And i want this image, Her image to be something only i can experience. i dont want to share, this is something that only i can experience! and no one else-
Azura: SAMUEL ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING!
Only the i realized that I was starting, Azura was saying something to me. You cant really Blame me for zoning out, the sight was just THAT good.
honestly it was almost hypnotizing, there is no other word to describe her other then "Perfect"!
i felt a sting on my cheek, Azura just slapped me and she looked really pissed off.
Azura: listen you idiot! this is important!
oh fuck i have been staring again. okay, time to calm her down, and what better way then just tell her the truth?
Sam: sorry, i- your just so...captivating, i couldnt help but dose off.
this is a ancient deity we are talking about, she probably- nay, she SURELY knows when someone is lying, so i of course told her the truth. And not only was that the truth, but it was also a compliment at the same time! the best mix for calming/wooing ladies!
her expression soften a little, but not enough to stop her from glaring at me. After a moment of silence she sighed slightly and cupped my cheeks with both of her hands.
Azura: Focus.
its kinda hard to focus when i am forced to stare at her perfectly symmetrical face...Okay, i know you must be thinking that i am simping right now! and let me tell you this...
you are tottaly right! and you would be too when faced with "Perfection"! imagine your ideal girl and make her x1000000000000 times better, that how Azura looks like...
holy shit, i can score that....I CAN FUCK HER! Never before have i been so grateful in my life! thank god i written myself into the skyrim plot as the lover of this lady, and OTHER Daedra ladies!
okay, but I really should focus, i dont want to be slapped again after all.
Azura: My star, its been corrupted! bring her to me.
wait so thats it? its all about that simple quest you get when you visit Azura shrine? thats way to easy!
Sam: no problem at all, my beautiful goddess~ any other requests?
oof...she looked kinda annoyed and it actually hurt a little. But im just a "simple mortal" in her eyes, and even though we are "lovers" in her eyes im nothing more then a boy toy.
is it weird I'm okay with that?
Azura: no, i will warp you there and once you get my star simply say my name.
before she could do any of that, i said something.
Sam: there is a kid and my summoned beast in the place i was before you teleported me here, i cant just leave them alone.
at that she raised an eyebrow. Soon i could see Magicka flowing around her in a gentle manner before disappearing like it was never there, the whole thing happened in just a second.
Azura: i froze the flow of time-
"WRYYYYYYYYY" was heard from the blonde buff vampire in the distance...does she not hear that? dear god it still keeps going, does DIO not need to breathe?
Azura: -around them, they will not notice your departure.
i had the feeling that i was supposed to feel impressed. But the "time stop" ability was showed so many times i so many different work of fiction that it honestly not that impressive anymore. But your got to admit that her just casually stopping time only shows that daedra are not something you can mess around with...I can bone that holy shit.
wait...if the daedras are this powerful then...
Sam: can i ask for a little favor before i go?
am i pushing it? maybe, the frown on Azura face is a clear indication that, YES i am pushing my privileges as her Lover. But it was worth the risk.
after not saying anything and simply staring at me i took that as a sign to go on.
Sam: you see, while i am skilled at enchantments, i completely suck at other schools of magic, and im wondering if there is a easy way of learning the magic spells then simply study.
her expression was neutral, but i could see it in her eyes that she was thinking about something, for a couple of minutes there was silence. Azura was ...doing something, and i decided to not push my luck further and stay silent.
after she was done with whatever she was doing, Azura got into my personal space, and before i knew it she was kissing me! it felt amazing, best kiss ever 11/10 would do it again. But it was not a simple kiss, i could feel something...knowledge, about a spell.
it poured into my mind, the calculation needed to use it, the way it was build, the way it was supposed to be cast, I knew EVERYTHING about it.
and what was the spell? well, it was something that just made me realize how much Overpowered Daedras really are, Azura didnt just give me a spell, she gave me a cheat! and it was one i would abuse the hell out of.
what she gave me, was the ability to "eat" a book in order to absorb its knowledge. not literally "eat", more like absorbing the content while destroying the book in the process. In other words i can now learn magic just as the player does in the game.
parting her lips, she then leaned into my ear and said in a quite whisper.
Azura: i will be expecting payment for this.
...Breathe in...Breathe out...
of course she would tell me this only AFTER giving me the spell.
Stepping back she raised her hand, and pointed her open palm at me.
Azura: off you go then.
and once again the surroundings became blurry and the beautiful sight of Azura, and her domain shifted into stone wall's, a stone floor, and a spooky scary skeleton hung on a cross(?)...yup this is "Ilinalta's Deep" alright.
lets see, this place is full of even more spooky scary skeletons, and since there are undead there are also necromancers, Duh! But if I remember correctly there should also be a couple of conjurers? not sure about that last one, but he did vaguely remember fighting an Atronach while in this dungeon...oh well, we shall see on the way, am i right!
but first.
Reaching inside my pocked space i took out every possible spell book from skyrim and stared at them with a wide smile on my face.
They were not as Thick as in the game, around 10 pages for the easiest of spells, and around 50-60 for the harder ones.
god damn, if a single newbie spell needs a 10 page calculation in order to explain how it works then I really did strike a good deal with Azura.
reaching for the first book i used the spell that Azura taught me. IT WORKED! HAH!
oh this is going to be FUN!
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4k words, technically a chapter that is as long, as 2 normal chapters.
hope you enjoyed it
每周推薦票狀態
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榜單 
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