章節 47: Big Brain Strats
We all get to the northern outskirts of Dewhurst in record time. It's different from where we leave off to kill Slimes, but it's still a nice escape from the doom and gloom gray of the shitty city. We're all excited to get things going, since there's a really big payday waiting for us at the end. Assuming we don't all get savagely mauled to death, obviously.
More than anything else I want to make sure Boss can get those Catgirl maids we were talking about as soon as possible because it really does sound like they're the first thing we need before we can actually start making some real progress on the Guild.
All three of us are in agreement that we absolutely in no way shape and form wanna clean that sty ourselves. We've made a sacred pact of laziness.
So if I have to kill a couple of scary monster wolves then lets get this shit going already, I'm hyped as heck! Nervous still too, yeah, but come on I'm trying to psyche myself up here.
This is what I left home for, after all. I need to make a difference in the realm and become stronger in order to do what my Father won't.
Boss laid out an extra layer on top of my goals, but I'm confident that if we keep advancing his Guild and recruiting more powerful adventurers, then I have a chance of pulling it off after all... I just worry about it a lot. Evil doesn't politely wait for the good guys to get stronger and beef up their forces after all.
I have to support Boss as hard as I can... not just for him, but for the people of Karnalle and the people of ALL the realms.
As we continue down the road we finally start to see a shitty little farm off in the distance. Even though we're out of Dewhurst proper, it still matches the rest of the village's aesthetic. I'm kinda bad at describing things. I'm just a tomboy Princess and I'm running out of ways to call a building rundown, ok? I'm trying to say that this farm looks like the ass of an ass that has been smashed up by a group of asses.
It's small, dingy, boarded up, and I can smell the steezweed field all the way from here. Boss and Zuzu were laughing behind my back cause I didn't recognize the stuff last week, but they've since filled me in that the junk we were collecting was most definitely gonna be used to create illicit potions.
Man, not that I ever intend on ascending to the throne, but like... what a wild fucking concept. I wonder if the realm would even care if their Princess had a record of supplying ingredients to cheap ass street alchemists? Life has been super weird ever since moving in with Boss, but every day is a new adventure in Dewhurst, doubly so if you've lived a somewhat sheltered life I guess.
Boss stops in his tracks and orders us to do the same. "We need to run over the plan. I take it it's fairly self explanatory, yes?"
Zuzu and him both stare directly at me. At first I'm not sure why but then I picked up that the Boss was specifically referencing me. Come on, I'm not THAT stupid! "We put the meat in the traps and kill the wolves! It doesn't take a damn Archmage to figure this shit out, y'know!" I blush and set down the bigass sack of bear traps.
I'm still wondering about a few things though, so I ask. "Aren't wolves like super smart though, or something? If we toss out a bunch of traps and all these evil doggos see their friends get trapped wouldn't the rest of em avoid the remaining ones?"
Zuzu nods her head and looks at me in agreement. 'I was wondering about that as well. I haven't studied monster behaviour very extensively, my knowledge regarding our foes typically only extends to what parts of them have alchemical uses.'
"Well you're in luck that around these parts, the local Guild Master actually cares about doing his job." The boss smirks and crosses his arms, trying to make himself look cool. Damn it- he's lame and all but he's still pulling it off somehow!
'What do you mean by that, Sir?'
"You saw that book I was using to narrow down our addled client's description, yes? Before Adventurer's Guilds became expansive and vastly commercialized thanks to the Association of Adventurers, there were a lot less adventurers to go around." There's a hint of sadness in his voice as he says this.
"Guild Masters worked very, very closely with the heroes of old and studied Monsterology to an almost encyclopedic level so as to provide the best advice, offer up plans of attack and so on."
Huh. I didn't know that. I guess that's not too surprising since I don't know a lot of things, but I'm clueless as to how Guilds work. Far as I know they've always just been places where adventurers go to find work. "And what about things now?" I ask.
"Now it's just... There's a big ass quest board. There are so many adventurers in the big Guild cities that most Guilds don't take the time to provide this support role anymore. If an adventurer fails a quest then hopefully they return alive, and if not, there's more than enough hired swords to take their place. Most advice given in this day and age is cursory and generic. 'Oh, make sure to bring antidotes.' or 'Be sure to have a mage with fire spells in your party'. Nothing more than common sense..." He sighs a defeated, weary sigh.
I'll admit, this does sound pretty bad but I can't exactly verify what he's saying since I've only ever been to one Guild before Dewhurst and I did NOT stay long. Thinking about that slimy creep of a Guild Master back in Perlshaw sends a shiver down my spine...
But... Boss is talking about this so passionately- It's kinda weird. I can probably guess why he feels so strongly about all this, though... His grandpa must have put a lot of stock in the 'old ways' and I'd bet good gold on it being how the old man ran the place back in his day.
It's funny how Boss spent his entire life trying to live up to his paternal figure. I might've a little talked sense into him and gotten him to admit he needs to do things his own way from now on, but the old man's influence won't ever go away on some level. I wonder what it's like to look up to someone that much? I've never felt that way about anyone. I love Boss- I got that whole Daddy thing going on, yeah, but I don't know what it's like to idolize someone so hard that you want to be them...
I've never had anyone like that. I've only ever wanted to be me.
Zuzu walks towards Boss and pats her hand on his side a couple of times, looking almost like a little girl trying to cheer up her dad. 'The evils of commercialization are many, Sir. There, there.'
"That's nice and all, but you still haven't answered my question. Are these mean doggies gonna fall for the trap or what?" I snap myself out of sentimental thinking and ask.
"My apologies, yes. I was getting to that." Boss briefly pats Zuzu's shoulder in thanks for her assurance. "Being frank these things are dumb as shit- they breed a lot and are always hungry. Brood Wolves will see the food and forget anything else. I'd imagine they're occupying the steezweed field because it likely makes them docile and the food tastes better while under its effects."
"And you're sure the wolves won't pose any danger?" I squint my eyes out of suspicion. It's better to be safe than sorry.
"Oh, they're very dangerous. We don't know if we have enough traps to cover them all, for one. I'll need you both to be very careful. But if I had to guess, I don't think this wolf situation is THAT dire... if you'll forgive the pun."
Zuzu chuckles but I just tilt my head. I don't get it?
Boss sees my visible confusion and launches into teacher mode with practiced ease. The joke is a lot less funny when explained so seriously...
Anyway, he continues on.
"These Brood Wolves are likely in their adolescent stage. If they were cubs, they'd still be with their mother and believe you me we would DEFINITELY know if an adult Brood Wolf was in the area." He lets out a soft laugh and the thought is... kinda chilling actually, when he puts it like that.
"By that same logic we can safely assume that the wolves aren't adults themselves. If they were, then simply put Spliffert would not have survived to stink up my Guild with his musky odors."
Boss does it again with that logic shit. Knocks it out of the park hard enough that I can follow along, no sweat! There's just one last little thing on my mind.
"So how are we gonna go and place these traps close enough without all them evil demon puppers noticing us?"
With a smug grin, Boss adjusts his dark glasses and looks down towards Zuzu. "How indeed?"
Zuzu smiles expectantly.
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