章節 14: Chapter 14
BELLA P.O.V
Halloween was a crazy time in college I learned. Most dorms were decorated in Halloween stuff. Frats went all out and made mazes in their house. So, I forced Jacob to come to campus so we could party with everyone else. He dragged Jared and Quil with him.
I held his hand as we stood in line waiting to get into one of the haunted houses. I loved having him here. We had both been working really hard on our relationship. I was still trying to give him space. I would text him in the morning. Sometimes he would call, other times he would text back. But I made sure every morning and every night I texted him. I sometimes didn't get a response but knew that he had asked for space. I just didn't realize that it would be over a month.
As we got closer to the front of the line I started to get anxious.
"Dude you're jacked as shit." The guy who was letting people in said to Jacob. He looked Jacob up and down and looked at me, who's hand was still in Jacob's. "Theres no way." He said looking between us.
"What?" I asked.
"There's no way you two are together." He said.
"We aren't." Jacob answered. I looked up at him. I guess we never really discussed getting back together. We were still working through our shit. We both knew that. But those words hurt almost as much as our breakup did. We walked through the haunted house. I swear I screamed more than anyone else.
Eventually we made our way to a frat that was just throwing a party. We all walked in together but I quickly got lost in the crowd. I saw a few people I knew from my classes but didn't really want to talk to them. I eventually found Quil in the kitchen talking to a girl.
"Have you seen Jake?" I asked.
"He went out back with Embry." I walked out the back door to find Jacob playing beer pong. I stood off to the side watching him. They did decent. Jacob then chugged two beers. I wondered how bad he was taking this breakup. Or how bad he was handling us not being together apparently.
I followed him around as he mingled with everyone, drank as much as he possibly could, and smoked at least two blunts. Somehow he was able to walk beside me to my dorm room. Embry, Quil and Jared had left before us so they were most likely already back at the dorm.
"You drank a lot." I commented as we walked. We still had a good twenty minutes before we got back to the dorm.
"And?" He said.
"You're 17. We could get in trouble." I answered.
"No one here cares. And no one is gonna think I'm 17." I guess that was true.
"Just seemed a little excessive is all."
"Why does it even matter?!" He shouted at me. "You're always up my ass about everything! You're not my mom." I was shocked at just how mad he was at me. I had been trying so hard to get us back to where we were. I just looked at him as he was fuming. "You're just as bad as my dad." I continued to walk as he ranted. I then realized that this break wasn't so I could figure out my life, it was so he could. And he wasn't doing a good job at it. My heart was hurting. I wrapped my arms around myself to keep myself together. "You're so annoying."
I quickly wiped the tears that fell from my eyes. I couldn't tell if he was being serious or if it was just the alcohol talking. He was talking to me like I was one of his buddies. And maybe I was. But I didn't look at him as one of my friends anymore. He was the love of my life. He had no idea just how much he meant to me.
He was right. I was always up his ass about everything. I knew that that was probably toxic but I couldn't help it. I was terrified that I was going to lose him. There were also times that I found him annoying but I never said it.
"Are you crying?" He barked at me making me jump a little. I hadn't realized he was paying that much attention to me. "What are you crying about?"
"Nothing. I'm fine." I mumbled. Once we were close enough to the dorm and I knew I could make it there safe, he walked further behind me.
"Call me when you grow up." He said before running across the street and into the woods. I watched him phase before continuing to the dorm. I kept my head down as I walked inside and checked in with my keycard. I headed over to my dorm room.
"Hey, we were wondering what happened to you." Embry said from behind me. I kept my head down as he caught up to me. He grabbed my face and lifted it so he could see me. I'm sure my tearstained face and red eyes wasn't something he was expecting. "What happened?" He asked. "Did Jake do this?" I nodded sniffling and wiping my eyes.
"I think he hates me." I stuttered trying to get the door to my dorm open.
"No he doesn't. He's just having a hard time. Sam has him running extra." He answered.
"He told me to call him when I grow up. Said I was annoying."
"He's just drunk."
"Drunk words are sober thoughts." I hated when he did this. When he pushed me away when something was going on. I wanted nothing more than for him to tell me what going through his mind. This happened when he first phased. He pushed me away. Sam must have been in his head again. I knew that his life was stressful. He had work, the pack, his dad, me. I knew it was hard for him to balance it all. This was not my Jacob.
I was up all night but texted Jake like I normally did in the morning. I wasn't shocked that he didn't text back and that he didn't call.
And this continued until I came home for Thanksgiving. Thankfully this ride back home I brought Embry with me. The 8 hour trip on a bus wasn't so bad with him.
"Are you gonna go see him?" I shrugged. I hadn't heard from him. I had tried to focus on my grades but I had already decided that next year I would be transferring so I could be closer to home. "If he's going through something, he can tell me. He never does. I'm here for him."
"I'll talk to him. See if I can get through to him." Charlie and Embry's mom met us at the bus stop. I had never been so thankful to be home. I said bye to Embry before getting in the car.
"How have you been, kid?" Dad asked as he drove.
"Good." I smiled. I hadn't told Charlie anything. I didn't want him to worry about me. "Where are we going for Thanksgiving?" I asked.
"Sue's. She invited all of us. And Leah is home." I looked forward to seeing Leah. We talked every so often just to check in with each other. She seemed to really love her life there. I was jealous.
Once at Sue's, I was nervous. I hadn't seen Jacob in nearly a month. Never even heard from him and suddenly I was going to be stuck in a house with him. Charlie and Sue were busy in the kitchen while Seth was setting up the table and I was setting the table. Billy and Jacob walked in about fifteen minutes later.
"Sorry we're late." Billy said as he wheeled himself into the kitchen. Jacob awkwardly stood in the living room.
"Hey." I said.
"Hey." He sat down.
"How have you been?" I asked.
"Fine." Guess that was it for small talk. I went into the kitchen to greet Billy and see if Sue needed any help. It felt like the house was going to explode from all the tension. Charlie carved the turkey for us while we all sat around the table waiting. Jacob sat on the other side of the table away from me. Everyone was in between us. I could see Leah looking between us. I kept my head down as I ate.
The parents were mostly the ones who were talking. Complimenting the food.
"What are you thankful for Bella?" Sue asked. I was taken by surprise.
"Um. Health I guess. That dad hasn't burnt the house down since I've been gone." Everyone laughed but Jacob. Not even a little smile.
"Jacob?"
"Beer." He said with no hesitation as he got second helpings. Charlie was shocked by that response. Billy just shook his head and tried to change the conversation. I watched Jacob as he ate. He seemed miserable. Which is exactly how I felt. Thankfully the rest of the pack came barging in and wanted to play football. I sat on the back stairs with Leah as we watched. Jacob and Sam were captains. Jacob had Seth and Quil on his team. Sam had Embry and Jared.
"What the hell is going on with you and Jacob?" Leah asked once the guys were distracted.
"He wanted a break." I answered. "Got into a fight in October and we haven't talked since." I added. "It's killing me." I wanted him to have his space. I knew he was mad at more than just me. I knew there was something more going on that he wasn't going to tell me. I knew that me moving to college was not easy on him. I just wish he would communicate with me. We had always had that issue in our relationship. It made me start to question if I had ever invalidated his feelings and that's why he doesn't open up to me.
Sue brought me and Leah a piece of pie before offering it to the house who all rushed up the stairs. I wasn't able to get out of the way so they just shoved me to the side and went inside. I huffed as I fixed my hair. Leah followed them inside so she could get another piece before it was all gone. I set my piece to the side not really wanting it.
"How have you been?" Jacob asked standing in the door. I turned to look at him. He was all muddy from the game but he seemed okay.
"Fine." I answered. I wasn't going to tell him that I was falling apart inside.
"I can't do this anymore." He said.
"Do what?"
"Be away from you." He answered. "It's been killing me." He moved and sat beside me. "I'm sorry I've been such a dick. I shouldn't have been treating you like that. It never had anything to do with you." I waited for him to tell me what was going on. "Rachel came home." He started. "Paul imprinted. That's three now. It was suppose to be rare." He looked over at me. Sam, Jared, and now Paul had imprinted.
"Why didn't she come?" I asked.
"I told her she couldn't. I wanted time away from her and Paul. They went to Emily's." He answered. "Have you ever heard your sister making out with her boyfriend?" He asked.
"Thankfully, no." I answered.
"Well it's even worse hearing them having sex." I cringed. I couldn't imagine. "As more of the pack imprint," He shook his head before he could finish his sentence.
"You're worried you're going to." I finished for him.
"I could never hurt you like that." He said, his voice strained. I could see the pain in his eyes. The fear that he was going to imprint and break my heart. If that ever happened, I would let him go. No matter how hard it would be.
"You're hurting me by ignoring me." I said truthfully. "You really have no idea just how in love I am with you. I just want to be with you." I said. "Just be with me." I whispered. He moved as close as he could to me, grabbing my jaw and kissing me. I wrapped my arms around him and moved so I was in his lap, wrapping my legs around him. I pressed myself against him. I never wanted to let go. His finger's dug into my hips as he held me.
"Okay. Woah. Gross." Sam said. I pulled away and blushed a deep red.
"Sorry." I mumbled getting off Jacob's lap. He kept his hand on my thigh. The rest of the pack sat around us as they ate. I leaned Jake, finally the cold I had been feeling for weeks was starting to warm.
"Emily made dessert. She would love to see you if you want to come by." Sam said to me.
"I would love to." I smiled. It would be nice to see Emily. I would also love to meet Jacob's sister again. I hadn't seen her since we were kids.
"Can you stay with me tonight?" Jacob asked as we stood to head to Emily's.
"Please." I gripped his arm as we walked inside. "I'm gonna go to Emily's." I said to dad. "Thank you for dinner Sue." I smiled. They were all watching the football game while the rest of us headed outside and got into the cars. I held Jacob's hand while he drove. I couldn't help but stare at his face.
"What?" He asked when he finally caught me.
"Just don't wanna forget your face." He smiled at me words.
"I'm not going anywhere." He answered. I moved closer to kiss him. He kept his eyes on the road but moved his lips with mine. "We can't do this." He pulled back. I rested my fingers on my lips smiling at him. "God, I love you." He breathed out.
"I've missed you." I said. "A lot." He raised his eyebrows looking over at me.
"What have you done?" He asked.
"Maybe I bought something." I said. His head snapped over at me.
"What?" He asked. I had confidence to tell him what I bought but the blush on my cheeks was making me shy away from him. "What did you buy?"
"Um." I couldn't get the words out. "It seems like you already know." I answered.
"You bought a vibrator?!" He shouted laughing. I blushed hiding my face in my hands. "Well, how is it?" He asked.
"Get's the job done." I mumbled looking out the window.
"I need to see you use it." I don't think my face could have gotten anymore red. "Did you bring it home with you?"
"Yes." I breathed out. I knew he was never going to let me live this down. After having sex with him, my own fingers weren't doing the trick. "Masturbation is natural!" I argued when he laughed at me.
"I know. Trust me. I know." I wasn't naive to the fact that Jacob does that. I'm not dumb. But I'm sure he thought I was too innocent to do it. "So, who did you think about while doing it?" I nearly choked on my own spit. As if I was thinking of anyone else besides him.
"You." I squirmed in my seat a little. We were only a few minutes away from Emily's. Sam was driving in front of us. It only took Jacob two seconds to decide to pull over. He right away took his seat belt off and undid mine. He leaned his seat back and pulled me into his lap. I right away grabbed the hair at the back of his neck and kissed him. I ground myself into him. I pulled back from him as I ground my hips, moaning in his ear.
I bit his neck making him groan. He lifted me just enough that he could get his pants unbuttoned and unzipped. I quickly shoved my pants down and took them off before getting back on top of him.
"I don't have a condom." He groaned.
"I don't care." I kissed him hard pressing my chest to his. He rubbed my clit and made sure I was slick enough before lining himself up with my entrance before lifting his hips into me. I moaned throwing my head back. He was moving his hips to meet mine while I bounced holding his shoulder's. "You feel so good." I groaned. His thumb massaged my clit driving me over the edge. The last time we had sex was my birthday. I was almost embarrassed by how quickly he got me to orgasm. "I'm so close." He stopped rubbing my clit and just thrust into me. Being on top inside of his car was challenging but I also loved the thrill that anyone could drive by and see us. He didn't seem to care.
"Wait." He groaned. I knew if I could get him closer that he would place his thumb back on my clit and we could come together. I sucked on his ear lobe before moving to suck a hickey into his neck in the spot right before his ear that always drove him wild. He was breathing hard, his chest rising and falling against mine. His thumb started to massage my clit again. I knew he was close. I screamed as I came around him. I flopped against his chest as he used my body to get his. He groaned as he came, holding me down on him. We stayed still for a few minutes, trying to catch our breath.
Once we both relaxed, he helped me get my pants back on. He got his own on before continuing the drive to Emily's. I fixed my hair as best as I could but my flushed face was going to give us away the second we walked in the door. He pulled up to the house and we both got out. We met the front of the car and he grabbed my hand as we walked inside.
"Hey!" Emily shouted as soon as she saw us. I smiled and hugged her. "It's so good to see you."
"You too. Happy Thanksgiving." I smiled.
"Happy Thanksgiving." Jake had already moved to the table to get himself a piece of pie.
"Couldn't wait until after dessert to get laid, Jake?" Jared joked. I blushed as I moved closer to Jake. He rubbed my back.
"You're just jealous." Jacob said. I got myself a piece of pie before Rachel came over.
"It's great to see you again, Bella." She smiled giving me a side hug.
"You too. How have you been?" I asked sitting down at the table. Jacob went off to sit with the guys while us girls stayed at the table.
"Good. It's good being home. Although I've been driving Jacob crazy." She looked over at Jacob and Paul bickering. "I'm sure we would be driving each other nuts if you weren't at college." She giggled.
"Bella, did you shag you on top of the car or did you cram him in the backseat?" Paul asked.
"Driver's seat." I answered. He laughed before Jacob shoved him leaning knocking him over into the back door.
"Jacob, wash your hands." Jacob shoved his hands in Paul face.
"Jake." I whined. I of course knew exactly where that hand had been. He right away stopped and walked over to the sink to wash his hands.
"I'm gonna have to wash my face." Paul said.
"I'm clean!" I fought.
"But is Jake? Do you know what he's been doing since you've been away?" Everyone stopped what they were doing and looked at Paul.
"What?" I asked looking at Jake.
"Well, there was the one time his nasty ass didn't shower for nearly a week." Paul made a face. "And then the other time he slept in the woods. Bella the man is gross."
"Thought you meant he was sleeping around."
"Oh please. Unless it was with mr. righty over there." Paul answered. What Jake had done in the time that we were apart was his business but if he was sleeping with other people I would be so upset.
"Paul, shut up." Jacob said coming over to me. "Don't make me beat your ass."
"I would like to see you try."
"Paul." Rachel said getting his full attention. "Knock it off." She glared. He right away sat down. I watched the interaction then looked at Jake.
"Imprint thing. Anything she tells him to do, he does."
"Kinda like the alpha thing?" I asked.
"Kinda." He answered. We stayed for another few hours before we headed to his house. I called Charlie when we got there to tell him I wouldn't be home. Billy had decided to stay with Charlie, he was also sick of Rachel and Paul. Once I was off the phone with Charlie I went to Jacob's room. He was laying on the bed.
"Do you need to shower?" I asked.
"Paul was exaggerating." He sighed. "I showered." I nodded laying beside him on my back.
"Did you sleep with someone else?" I asked.
"No. I would never." He wrapped one of his arms around me and pulled me to his chest. "I would ask if you have but it's clear that you have found other ways to pleasure yourself." I blushed and buried my face in his arm.
"You're never going to let me live it down."
"No. I'm not. What if Charlie found it?" He asked.
"I hid it in my underwear drawer." I answered. We heard Paul and Rachel come in and he quickly shut the door with his foot.
"Great." He mumbled. I ran my hands through his hair. He closed his eyes as I did it.
"We can be loud too." I whispered. He chuckled as he wrapped both of his arms around me and rubbed my lower back above my pants and below my shirt. I moved to sit in his lap. "I really wanna try doggie." Usually either he was on top or I was. I really wanted to try more things with him.
"Yeah, Jake! Get it!" We then heard a loud slap. "Ow! Rach!" Paul shouted. I giggled and pressed my chest to Jakes.
"What does Rachel do for work?" I asked.
"She's a NICU nurse at Forks Hospital." He answered. "She only works a few times a week. She works like three 12 hour shifts." He confirmed as he ran his finger on the curve between my butt and thigh. "Hoping her and Paul will get a place together soon."
"I decided next year that I'm going to go to community college." I blurted. I waited for his reaction.
"Are you sure?" He questioned. I nodded. "I hope I'm not the reason."
"I miss you too much." I kissed his chest. "I can get the same degree for a lot cheaper." I confirmed.
"I just don't want you to throw away your future for me."
"I'm not." I promised. "I'm still going to finish and work as an editor. But there are cheaper ways to do it." I would more comfortable here anyway. And I would be able to find a job. "I want to be here. I want to be with you." He smiled and grabbed my face to kiss him. I quickly lifted my shirt and threw it to the side. As soon as I did he ran his hands up my stomach and cupped my boobs through my bra. I ran my hands under his shirt and over his abs. I was able to get his shirt off and threw it on the floor. He rolled and flipped us so I was laying on the bed.
"You're beautiful." He whispered leaning down and kissing my collarbone before moving to unclip my bra. As he took it off he kissed my boobs before sucking on my nipple. I arched my back into him and held the back of his head to me. His tongue flicked my nipple before moving to the other one.
Then my phone rang. I groaned reaching for it.
"Hold on, Jake. It's my mom." He stopped when I answered but not for long. His tongue was right back on my nipple. "Hey mom." I said into the phone watching Jake.
"Happy Thanksgiving, Honey!" She said into the phone.
"Happy Thanksgiving." I said trying so hard not to moan into the phone. "How was your day?"
"Good. We just went to the neighbors house. You remember the kids you met while you were here?"
"Yeah. I remember." I answered watching as Jake kissed down my stomach, to my belly button and was slowly rubbing his bottom lip along the skin right above my jeans.
"What did you do?"
"I went to Sue's and now I'm at Jakes." I answered hoping she would get the hint and wouldn't keep me on the phone for too long.
"Are you back together yet?" I had called here three weeks ago crying that we were broken up and that he pretty much hated me.
"Yeah." I answered. He slowly unbuttoned my pants and unzipped them. I lifted my hips so he could take them off. He got them off and threw them to the side before spreading my legs and kissing me above my panties. I took in a breath and closed my eyes.
"Wanna call me later?" Mom asked. "Or tomorrow." She chuckled.
"I'll call you tomorrow. Love you." I rushed into the phone before hanging up. "You jerk." I breathed out laughing. He just chuckled before slipping one finger into the crotch of my panties and pulling them down my legs. He took no time in sucking on my clit and fingering me with two fingers. I moaned grabbing his hair. "Don't stop." I said as he sucked hard on my clit. I was grinding into his face and moaning loud.
He pulled back making me whine.
"You said you wanted it in doggy."
"I do." I answered.
"Hand and knees, darling." He smirked standing up to take his pants off. I right away got into position on my knees but I moved down to my elbows because I was lazy. He tore open a condom and quickly rolled it on. He ran one hand up my back and into my hair. He tugged it a little making me groan and look over my shoulder at him. I saw just enough for him to thrust into me. My head fell forward as I moaned. I never realized just how good this position could be.
"Jacob!" I moaned as he pulled my hair. He had one hand in my hair and the other was right above my butt helping to move my body away from his as he thrust into me. "Please!" I cried out as I rubbed my clit. Every time he pulled out, I would move back into him and he would thrust hard into me.
At some point he had my head pushed into the pillows. I moved it so I could grip it and he could still hear every noise I was making. Eventually he moved me so I was laying on my side. He moved one of my legs so it was bent and he was still thrusting from behind but I could see him and touch him. I grabbed his hand as he thrust into me holding my leg so it stayed in place.
"I love you." I moaned right before he leaned down and kissed me. I held his neck as we kissed. I pulled back when we heard slamming on the wall.
"It's her bed." He mumbled.
"Why don't they put a pillow between it?" I asked. "Also, my hips is hurting." He right away let go of my leg and pulled out. He pushed me so I was flat on my back and got back between my legs. He placed my legs on his shoulders as he thrust into me. I held his arms and threw my head back in a moan. "Harder!" He held my hips and thrust as hard as he could without hurting me. I screamed as I orgasmed around him. He slowly let my legs down and pulled out. He flopped beside me. "Did you cum?" I asked out of breath looking at him.
"Uh. Twice actually." He answered looking over at me. He carefully took the condom off and tied it before throwing it away. He then came back to the bed and wrapped his arms around me. "Feels weird having you in my bed." He smiled kissing my head.
"I have missed you so much." I whispered resting nearly my entire body on him. It was going to be so difficult to go back to school without him. I ran my finger gently over his arm. I then understood why he hated having Rachel home. They were even louder than we were. "I'll get you a sound machine for Christmas." I chuckled. He rubbed my back and laughed.
"I would appreciate that." He mumbled closing his eyes. "Now sleep. I haven't slept in weeks." I relaxed against him and for the first night in weeks, I actually looked forward to waking up the next morning.
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