章節 5: chapter four
straight after classes ended, i went to see jimin. he was there, sitting beside the tree with his eyes closed. i went to his direction and smiled at his presence.
"we can talk now." my voice woke him up. seeing me, jimin immediately flashed a smile before getting up and dusting his clothes off.
"at the park right?" he asked, following me as we head outside the gates of the university.
i nodded and we both got in the car. just after a couple of minutes, we were already at the park and we both went straight to the swings.
"i don't really know what to say." jimin said, a deep sigh following afterwards.
"me too, just tell me something. anything, tell me something about you and your world." i told him, my gaze on the ground.
he heaved a sigh, "well, i still live with my parents even if i'm already in college. i can't really handle being away from my parents yet so i stay with them. i like dancing, i usually dance with my friends and from time to time we join competitions. nothing much really, my life's pretty simple and great." i looked at him and saw a smile on his lips, "how about you? you rarely smile sincerely, why do you always seem sad and afraid?" he asked.
"i don't know, this is just how i am. there's a lot of things that scares me in this world, things that i can't exactly fight off." i frowned at my words, images of my dad and his words flashing in my mind.
"live your life, hanbyeol. it's yours, you own it so love it and make the most out of it." he smiled at me, his hand reaching out to place onto my cold ones.
"is it really mine?" my voice low, making it very inaudible but somehow jimin managed to hear me.
"you and i seem so different, our lives and personality are so different from each other." he stopped, "what if i'm here to help you?" he smiled at me.
"help me? please stop with such nonsense." i chuckled, "they're in control of me jimin, people like taehyung nor someone like you can't help me in my situation." i finished off.
"hanbyeol, use me then. use me as a distraction, even just for the time that i'm here. forget about everything else and be yourself with me." he stood up from his swing and kneeled in front of me.
i looked back at him, staring at his sincere brown eyes. a smile unconsciously played on my lips as i let his words sink in.
"stand up, you look stupid." i told him.
"it's fine, you're the only one who can see me like this anyways." he laughed, a big smile plastered on his face.
we had talked for some before we both decided to head home. jimin kept on opening more topics for the both of us to talk about.
"i should go, rest and take care of yourself. if you need something then just say my name? i feel connected with you already." jimin smiled, his hand patting my head gently.
i nodded and waved at him, "i'll see you around, jimin."
i got inside, my eyes roaming around and checking if there was anyone home. coming to a conclusion that everyone was out except for the maids, i went upstairs to my bedroom.
i started doing my homeworks, my mind distracted with everything that was happening. i grabbed my bag and my hands found the papers that were given to me at school.
"review sheets, upcoming semester." i read what was written, my lips pursing as i placed the papers on my table, "he'll really go this far?" i asked, thinking of my dad.
he was willing to do anything just to give the family and the company a good image. an image only he can benefit from, he's the worst.
- flashback -
"you have to enter a medical school with high grades, hanbyeol. remember, follow my orders and i'll make sure no one has to be hurt." dad stated, his voice stern as a smile played on his lips. "and remember what i told you, be friends with those who can make you look good. i don't want you interacting with taehyung and his friends, you are not suitable with such people." he continued, grabbing my phone and quickly deleting taehyung's number.
i looked at him, "taehyung's a nice person, he's the only one who talks to me at school." i told him, snatching my phone back and finally breaking into tears when taehyung's number was already gone from my contacts.
"i know he is, but you don't need friends that would just distract you from your studies. i know what's the best for you, so believe me." he said before exiting my room.
- end of flashback -
i laid down on my bed, tears completely staining my face. i clutched the pillow, gritting my teeth as i let anger swallow me.
did i do something wrong that these things happen to me? what exactly did i do wrong to make him this controlling?
i snapped out of my thoughts, realizing my tight grip on the papers which caused its side to crumple. i loosened my grip and tried to calm myself.
i grabbed one of my books and turned it to the page of the lesson we had been studying. i studied, trying to learn as many as possible but my mind kept on drifting away to other thoughts.
"it's weekends tomorrow, why are you studying? close that book and join us downstairs." seojun came in my room, staring at me with widened eyes.
"what are you guys doing?" i asked him, leaving a bookmark on the page before closing the book.
"watching movies, c'mon. they won't be back till tomorrow and besides one movie won't hurt. when was even the last time you watched a movie?" he asked, pushing me out of my own room.
"three years ago, you know dad doesn't like me watching things unless it can help me with my studies." i said and took a seat next to hyunjun who was busy wrapping himself with a blanket.
"of course, why am i not surprised anymore?" seojun snickered before throwing a blanket over me and him.
all three of us were focused on the movie when we suddenly heard the front door open. thinking it was just one of the maids who did their chores or had went out, we didn't pay much attention to it.
"shouldn't you be in bed, hanbyeol?" our dad came, his arms crossed as he stood just a couple of steps away from us.
i immediately stood up, my eyes widening as i know that i'll get in big trouble. my eyes drifted to my dad's creased forehead and clenched jaw.
"we thought you wouldn't be back until tomorrow?" seojun stood in front of me, glancing at me quickly and flashing a smile before turning to face dad.
"it is already tomorrow, it's already past midnight. she shouldn't be watching movies with you, hanbyeol should be sleeping or better yet studying." dad glared at me, walking towards us before pulling me to his side.
"it's just one movie, you're torturing her too much." hyunjun stepped in, not even hesitating to glare at dad.
"both of you are the reason this household never gets peace and quiet, your sister has been doing a great job following me." i felt dad's grip tightened before pulling me upstairs and straight to my room.
he forcibly made me sit on my chair, "you stayed up watching movies, i'm guessing you wouldn't mind not sleeping and studying instead." dad stood next to me, watching my every move.
"i was told you're talking to that taehyung kid again, how many times do i have to repeat it to you?" my dad gently placed his hand on my hair before pulling it.
i gritted my teeth in pain as tears threatened to fall, "it was just a short conversation, we're still not friends." i muttered, my voice coming out in muffles.
"that's different from what i'm hearing from the others, maybe i should have some talk with taehyung." he released his hold and pushed my head towards the table.
"dad, you don't have to." i said, looking at him with desperate eyes.
"now that i see you begging like this, it gives me more reason to talk to taehyung. i won't hurt him, i just want to ask him few things. study now." he flashed one of his ridiculous smiles before leaving.
i went back to studying, my mind and heart not settling as i somehow felt that dad's presence was still in my room.
i spent the next few hours studying, dad would check up on me every hour. he would make sure that i was indeed studying and wasn't dozing to sleep.
dad had came in for the twentieth time and checked me, when he was satisfied enough, he left.
my eyes were slowly getting heavier each minute that passes. my mind was already not picking up any information from what i was learning about and it felt like my brain suddenly had shut down.
even if i wanted to take a short break, i couldn't. not with dad around the house atleast. i then went back to studying when i heard the door open.
"it's just me, hanbyeol." seojun chuckled before walking towards me, "take a rest, i managed to convince dad to let you sleep." he smiled before pulling me up from my chair.
i stared at him in confusion, "how?" i asked, heading towards my bed and laying down.
"i just have my ways, go to sleep. i'll wake you up when it's time to eat." he said before leaving the room.
i closed my eyes and drifted to sleep, hoping that even just for a few minutes, i could forget about anything else.
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