章節 40: CHAPTER 40
Genesis's POV
Three things only.
Go in, hand it over, get out...as fast as you can.
Thirty seconds tops.
Do not look up. Do not look at him and most importantly, do not look into his eyes.
God, those eyes.
As fast as I slipped, I quickly caught myself, freeing my mind off damning thoughts of a pair of forest green eyes.
They say green is the strongest colour because it ignites the new season after the passing of wintry days, and in that his eyes were born strong, the green hue reminding us of sunshine and floral blooms. His eyes were as green lights could shine in any night. He had beautiful eyes - so beautiful I often wondered if they were real. Just one look, one look only and they'd steal all my words away but with mine casted down, I am sure to be out of his room with my heart intact.
I knocked once and paused. Complete silence bounced back. I raised up my hands and tapped the door again and silence was it. Leaning in closer, I rested the side of my head against the door as my ear picked up nothing from the other side but when the door wrenched open, I stumbled unceremoniously forward and into a pair of bulging arms that caught me and grabbed me towards itself.
I unintentionally inhaled his scent and my knees turned jelly. If he hadn't been supporting my stance, I would have completed my descention. I smelt it again, his scent. Natural - like the sweet smell of rain on the earth surface.
My breath leaked and my heart throbbed. His fingers painted my skin with ruby red patterns of desire and a thousand volts of electricity consumed me. Then I made a huge mistake. I looked up. I gazed into those green eyes. Green eyes I had initially planned to avert and that widespread feeling of trouble not being far away from me re-sunk itself into my mind and just like that I was being reminded of all the reasons he was in fact trouble himself.
He was barefoot, dressed in black pants that hung low and exposed overly defined muscles with external obliques that created a V shape. Shirtless, dark ink littered every part of his skin, concealing the flesh. He had regained a little weight but not all of those he lost.
My face cracked into an unplanned smile and I blurted out stupidly, "Hi."
The space in between his eyes creased and he arched a perfectly shaped eyebrow, staring down at me with no words spoken. Perhaps, not surprised about how stupid I must have looked in that moment.
His gaze drifted down my face and slowly landed on the purple mark that had already formed and encompassed the corner of my lips. I saw the shade of his eyes turn a darker green and his face wash blank with confusion. His brows furrowed with unasked questions and his lips parted with unshared thoughts as he concentratingly stared at the bruise.
His hand reached up and his thumb peeked out, keenly brushing over the wound. A gasp broke out from my lips and I shuddered under his tender touch. Our gazes met for a minute or two before his began to descend slowly to my mouth. The feel of his hands was enough to heal my wounds. It sent a chill down my spine, rendering me completely powerless.
I stuttered, pinching myself for reacting this way to him. This wasn't the way things were meant to go. This wasn't how long I had planned to stay.
In and out. Remember?
What exactly was I doing?
Why can't I stop?
Why can't I make this stop?
"La-Lana got into a fight with a girl. I tried pulling the two apart and then this happened." I explained, pointing to my lip.
Something made me answer the questions bouncing on the tip of his tongue that he never asked.
His features began to relax. Abruptly, his hand fell. His body left mine as he stepped back. I instantly began to miss his touch and the way my body had ignited. He crossed over the room, heading in the direction of the bathroom. His head tilted because that was the only way he could go through the doorway without bumping it. I lost sight of him the moment he turned the right corner. Soon, he returned, strolling towards me with a white napkin in hand. It was damp and soft as I felt the fluffiness the instant he pressed it against my lip.
My eyes fluttered like the wings of a butterfly flapping. I reached up to hold onto the small cloth when our skin grazed and a fire ignited deep from within. A strange, fluttery sensation started in my chest. Butterflies, cardiac arrest, maybe....It was hard to say what exactly but whatever this was between us, I hoped I was the only who could feel it. I could deal with it or learn to deal with it and hopefully, it disappears. After Keegan, I don't plan on delving into something else with anyone anytime soon.
"Thank you." I whispered, unhitching my body from his and it still tingled even after losing contact. I began formulating thoughts in my head, thinking of the reason I was even here in the first place. I glanced up at him. He was staring down at me with daunting eyes and tensed muscles.
I shook my head, reminding myself I needed a clear head to face him.
"I need to close the door."
I stilled. "What?"
He calmly repeated. "I need to close the door. The air conditioner is on. Do you wanna come in?"
I blinked. "No. Y-Yes. Yes. I...."
He turned and sauntered into the room, leaving me standing at the entryway. I followed him and closed the door soundlessly. Hanging by the door, I mildly observed. I noticed the lights were unusually on and the curtains were drawn up as sun rays bounced through the open windows. His room was a bit scattered. Books heaped into a tower on his studying table. His laptop settled on the centre as light shone on the screen. Clothes sagged non-chalantly from his wardrobe and some took over a portion of the floor. His bed was unmade and the sheet dragged out through the other end.
He strolled towards it and yanked out a drawer by the side. Then grabbed a small white bottle and uncapped the lid. I watched him pop two pills into his mouth and saw his throat bop. Then, he closed it and threw it back. It made a rattling noise for a minute or two and ceased.
Next, he seized a white medium sized packet from the same drawer and took out an object with a design that had the shape and size of a tube but came with a retractable needle which he pointed to this thigh and tried injecting himself with it.
It fell from his hands and rolled under the bed. I immediately placed the box of doughnuts I had made and rushed to him.
"I'll get it." I offered.
If he heard me, he chose not to respond. He ducked down and kneeled, dipping his head under. Little did he know that from the angle of his position, it would be impossible to lay hold of the tube for it rolled to the other edge of the bed and not where he thought it might be.
Silently, I crossed the room to the opposite side and bent my knees. The tube came into sight immediately. I swiftly grabbed it and rose up. EPIPEN(Epinephrine) Auto-Injector 0.3mg. I glanced at it briefly.
"I got it." I announced, crossing the room to get back to him. "Let me help. Where does it go?"
"Give it back."
"Let me help you. Where does it go?"
"I ain't handicapped. Give it back."
"I just want to...."
He groaned, clearing losing it. "Give. Me. The. Damn. Drug."
I fidgeted. Goosebumps pricked my skin like needles. Every part of me went on pause while my thought strived to catch up. Perhaps, it was the fact that he hadn't snapped at me in a long while that caused the short-circuting in my brain. I extended my hand with his drug sitting on my palm, handing it over. He stared long at me, his lips pressed grimly before taking it.
"I'm sorry." I muttered with words of apologies. "I just wanted to help. I brought over some doughnuts for you. They are over there." I pointed at his studying table. "I'll leave now. Take care."
I turned in the direction of the door, about to make my way through it when his fingers gently clamped over the skin around my wrist and made me stop.
"Where are you going?"
My will broke at the sound of his voice and my head turned with as much inevitability as a sunflower turning its face to the sun. Because when I thought of him, of his voice, his hypnotic eyes, the magnetic force of his personality, I wanted nothing more than to know the boy behind all the facade.
"Genesis." The sound of my name in his voice stopped me in midturn, giving me the wildest of butterflies. I swallowed noisely and turned around completely, meeting his solemn look.
"I thought you would want to be alone." I said under my breath.
"I don't wanna be alone." The deep timbre of his voice lowered into a tone that made my toes curl. "Please stay." He said softly. "I was lonely before you came."
His hold on my wrist tightened only for a second then descended to my fingers where they weaved. I noticed it was an unconscious act on his side, one he wasn't quite aware of. But I liked it. I liked the feel of his warm fingers braided with mine. I liked the softness of his skin. It was akin to a new born's.
"O-okay." I agreed, without thinking. I couldn't say no even if I had really.
The room began to decrease in size. Like there was something outside pressing against the windows, aching to come in. Maybe it was the noise. It was probably the noise. Tap. Tap. Tap. A thousand, million taps at once.
He nodded and abruptly disentangled our fingers, almost as if he had realised they were intertwined and wouldn't have been if his mind was into it. He turned and slowly strided to the window. As I watched him go, it was hard not to notice the strong shape of his back and the hard, ridges of his muscles. His head was bowed and his shoulders scrunched. His hands were dipped into his slacks. He stood in front of the glass and started what I knew was going to be a long gaze through space. I followed his path and stood beside him, imitating his actions.
Droplets of water raced down the glass pane as the clouds spat out their beads of water. Puddles began plinking as the rainfall became heavier. The roofs of cars parked outside danced with spray and I could hear the murmuring of the rain through the window. It sounded like the buzzing of angry bees.
I looked at him and my lips involuntarily curved upwards at the small smile I saw that had captured the corners of his mouth. He looked relaxed and content just by watching the clouds roar and oblivious to my eyes on him. I turned back to the glass and stared through.
"Do you like the rain?" He asked, still staring at the downpour.
"Yes. I do. Do you?"
He smiled, "What do you like about the rain?"
I thought for a short while, "The constant, ticking rhythm, the feel, the smell and the puddles and the wonderful reflections in them." I turned to face him. "What do you like about the rain?"
He bopped his shoulders, smiling. "Everything. I love everything."
I turned to the side, bracing my back against the window pane and gave him my undivided attention. Our eyes locked for a split second but he diverted his gaze back to the window.
I asked. "What is everything for you?"
"Sitting...or standing in front of the window watching the rain and gloomy weather makes me happy and calm. It ain't only drops of water, you know. It's the love of the sky for the earth. They never meet each other but sends love this way. I'm most happy for the birds which will not die of thirst anymore, the farmers who depends on rain and for those people who survives on rain water because I have been there before. The dark clouds makes you feel in the arms of pain and at the other side of the sky, the rainbow takes you to multiple colour swings of past, someone's presence and absence. It washes away all the pain of yesterday. I love the sound of heavy rain and thunderstorms on a dark night. They are peaceful."
"I like storms too. I love to sleep with the windows open. Rainy nights are the best of all. I would open my windows back at home and place my head on the pillow and close my eyes and feel the wind on my face and listen to the wind sway and creak. I still remember the obsession of bathing in the first rain. Our hilarious dance on the terrace with thunders and rain." I laughed, remembering the good, old days, happy, unforgettable memories shared with my brother. It felt so long ago. "And after those minutes of rain dance, the taste of garmagaram pakorde is just undescribable."
"The moments when those rich folks go zoom and drive like no one is on the earth."
I cringed. "Ahh, those disgusting times. And you are like, 'have you got eyes or buttons? Can't you see I'm standing here?'"
He chortled and for some reason, I laughed too. Perhaps, because I had made him laugh. I never felt so good about something before.
"You are lucky. You experienced all of that."
He left the window side and made his way towards the edge of his bed and sat. I followed and sank beside him. Our arms brushed and a frisson of nervous energy enfolded me. I looked over at him. His eyes were on the floor. I wanted to ask what he had implied by his last statement but he spoke first.
"I hate it. I hate the looks, the stares, the whispers in my ears." He paused for a moment. "I hate that happened. I hate that I couldn't control it. I hate they now know more than they should. I tried to lock that away, away from everyone. I'm a bit too quiet and I don't share a lot of what's going on in my mind or in my life but that...that part of me is so sacred, you know and everyone knows about it now and..." He leaned over and ran his hands down his face.
"It actually meant nothing. I cry. Everyone cries at some point." I touched his arm, expecting a shake off but none came.
"It's not that. Yeah that too but..." He breathed out. "I don't like the way they all look at me. They stare at me like I'm weak. Like I'm intricate, like I am sick." He turned to look at me. "I don't like the extra care. I don't like the way it makes me feel."
"How does it make you feel?"
"Powerless." He paused for a bit. "They make me feel powerless, like I can't do shit for myself and you asking to help me...."
"I didn't mean to imply that you are weak Dario."
"That's how it felt like."
I breathed out. "I'm sorry about that."
"I just...really hate feeling like I've got to depend on someone, or need someone. I've been going solo my entire life. I don't think I can adjust to anything that ain't that."
"You're the strongest person I know."
As soon as I let that out, he whipped his head to face me. I never realised how close we were sitting until that single moment when our faces were mere inches away from each other and the soft feel of his breath against my skin.
"I'm not as strong as you think." He whispered.
"You don't know what I think."
"You don't know a lot of people."
He touched my face with the back of his hand, brushing his knuckles against my cheek, sliding his fingertips down my neck.
"Sei ancora molto bella" (You're still so very beautiful)
Something about the touch of his hand made my soul shudder, my heart flutter and my body quiver. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath and realized I could remain lost in the precious moments he allows me have with him.
Then I felt the absence. The loss of his skin on mine. I opened my eyes to see him staring at my face. Then he laid his back on the bed. I glanced down on my lap and saw the Epipen drug sitting comfortably.
"My right thigh. Stab it in.
What? "What?"
"My right thigh. Stab it in."
"Stab it in?" I argued. "It's going to hurt."
"It won't. Just do it."
"No." I said firmly. "I'm going to put it in as carefully as possible and that will be all. No jabbing of anything. Okay?"
He didn't respond. I re-positioned myself on the bed, balancing my whole weight on my knees. Then, I got straight to it.
Two seconds later, I was, "Done."
He nodded and steadied himself on the balls of his elbow.
"Won't you say like...thank you?"
He narrowed his eyes, "Is that necessary?"
"Of course, it is." I laughed. "That's a show of appreciation. When someone does something nice for you, you show them you are grateful by saying thanking you or sending them a nice gift."
"I could have done it myself. Then I wouldn't have had to thank you."
I gasped. He smiled.
"Grazie." (Thank you)
"Prego." (You're welcome)
His brows shot up which made me chuckle.
"I visited Italy for the first and last time when I was nine. For my tenth birthday actually. I was going to spend it with my granny. I learnt the word there. That's like the only Italian word I know. Well after grazie."
He didn't give a response to that. I smiled at him and let my eyes trail down. A tattoo I hadn't noticed before stood out, maybe because of the size of it. It was written in cursive and occupied a small space on his left chest near his heart. I squinted my eyes to read the word. Soledad. I glanced up at him. He was staring at me. I looked away instantly, suddenly uncomfortable in his presence.
"She was my mama." At the sound of his soft hiss above my ear did I turn. My heart skipped a beat. I began to wonder how he had moved so silently-so undetected that I couldn't notice him.
"I'm sorry."
He whispered above my lips, "It was a long time ago."
He let his knuckles skim across the side of my face and extended his fingers over my cheek, slanting his head. I closed my eyes, letting the feel of his skin on my skin take me places I've never been. His lips grazed mine and the galaxies collided. His touch was more intoxicating than any kind and combination of alcohol. The feeling was strongly intense. An intense, deep feeling I have never experienced before him.
Then, he pressed his lips to mine and I came alive at a stroke. I did not hesitate. I opened up for him and he dived inside. He was soft and careful, taking his time, exploring the deepest parts of my mouth. I ran my fingers through his lengthy hair as his mouth toured my lips and down the front of my neck. We kissed slowly at first, then the pace picked up speed.
His hands slid down my side and firmly held onto my hips. I was hoisted off the bed and onto his laps, astride him. I swaddled my arms around his neck and kissed him with as much fervor as I could muster. He breathed into my mouth, sucking on my bottom lip as his hands ran down my back.
I clung to him tightly as his lips nuzzled their way to my ear. I turned my head to the side, emitting a quiet moan as his wet tongue slipped inside. His teeth gently nipped at my ear lobe in a teasing manner before his tongue resumed drilling its way into my ear. My breathing coming in desperate little gasps. Then his fingers began to descend and I immediately caught myself.
I scrambled off the bed and began to tug my dress down in a bid to cover up some skin.
"Oh....God....I...I have to go....I...I am..."
He scoffed behind me, running his hands though his hair, "You're ashamed of me."
That made me pause and I turned.
"I'm not."
He nodded, obviously disbelieving me.
"Dario, I'm not ashamed of you at all. Why would you even think that? I am just..." I sighed. "Keegan and I just broke up."
His eyes shot up to my face and his brow furrowed. His back immediately left the wall and he moved closer.
"He broke up with me three days ago and he never told me why he did so."
"Does he know..."
"No." I said almost too quickly. "I mean I...I wanted to tell him today..." I glued my eyes to my feet. "But he was not here and I don't know where he could be." I covered my face with my hands, shaking my head.
"Dario, I like you. I really do like you and I've always - always wanted to be friends with you but nothing more than just your friendship is all I want. Keegan is - was my boyfriend. You are his best friend. I do not want to cause any form of rancor or ill-will between you two. God knows I will never forgive myself if that ever happens. Thank God I haven't told him yet because I don't think I can anymore. After Keegan, I don't think I can...I don't think I can be with someone else. I can't handle the emotions and everything that comes with it, at least for the mean time. I am not ready yet. Please tell me you understand me."
He shrugged, "Cool."
"Thank you." I walked up to him and pressed my lips to his cheek. Then I turned to the door.
"I don't eat sugar."
I stopped, "What?"
He repeated, "I don't eat sugar." Then tipped his head to the box. "The doughnuts."
"Oh. I had no idea. I made them...."
"Then I'll eat them."
I grinned at him. He smiled back. I turned and opened the door midway, slipping through the small space.
I was trudging down the stairs when I heard a throaty growl coming from the stairs below me. Unable to register the reason for the sound quick enough, I hunched over the rails and looked down and what I saw dried up the saliva in my mouth. Time seemed to stand still, and I felt something heavy grip my chest. Like a million tons on my soft beating heart.
I shouldn't have. I knew I shouldn't have. I could have done so many things instead. I could have perhaps turned back and taken the elevators or lingered around till they were done pleasuring themselves so I wouldn't have had to witness it forthwith but then it was too late. I had looked and there was no possible way to erase the memory of Keegan with his pants down and a girl whose hair concealed her face sucking him off.
I turned and sprinted in the direction of the elevators. The only thing I could hear was the sound of my own pounding heart beating out of my chest.
***
I really feel like I'm the crappiest author in the entire world. The slow updates are miserable. Sorry for that. I would be done with my exams on the 10th of September so obviously I would have more time to update but for now, I hope you can cope with this for the mean time.
Please don't forget to vote and comment if you love this story.
.
每周推薦票狀態
-- 推薦票
榜單 
-- 推薦票