章節 5: Escapade
During the pandemic, I did a thousand of safety protocols for me to survive for the day. Like even back then, I hardly ever step out of my house; and even if I did, I bath after with antiseptic alcohol as a substitute detergent. That is to say, I'm remarkably a conscious person. 'And why am I saying this? Well duh... never mind.'
After a while, Christina and I sauntered towards the nurse's office. As per usual, the 'birds' and 'fishes' of the hospital were just as wild as the last time I came here...
It was only yesterday but I already felt I'm prisoned in this mess for the next century. One even considered to put together early 'their' death thinking that self-destruction is the right path for 'them'. With the virus pursuing relentlessly a variety of individuals, nobody can tell on when will this burden end; and in a matter of distress, an affected person ended 'their' lives all at once to at least get the freedom they need.
We overheard the news a short while ago from malicious and unthinking gossips about a twenty-year old nurse who recently died and was found dead in one of the cabins from the first floor this morning- a very depressing news. Many of us did not fail to understand the cause of his passing... since it was eerily obvious because of this catastrophee. Not that we'll do the same but the same feelings felt so near.
One female nurse of his age who seems to be close to him wept in front of us while Christina and two more comforted her, with much support that they could offer. This guy still even had the spirit to propose to her before he took his own's life without her knowing. It was even worse for her since she officially answered a 'yes' and gave him all the adoration they desired for each other. Ouch.
'The sweet memories she'd spend with him engraved on her ring had left an awful pain on her heart as she wore it tight on her finger, hoping that it will last forever.'
Dwelling on that had hit me harder than Alberts's punch... no biggie. Sometimes I believe that pertaining him as a weak enemy could brighten my opportunities to slaughter his self-esteem. But the truth is, I'm denying myself that I'm just as impotent as any he might had fought with... It could have been the same sense with what's disclosed infront of us but in a different situation.
Well anyways, I'm hurt... like I had no girlfriend. I would loved to. But even if for a year I wouldn't get one, I envied this man for having a significant other before he left his life on her hands. 'Seriously come on man, make a way for a single man like me.' I even participated in various dating apps to find my someone when actually most of this users I'd chat with were hungry sl*ts. 'So what I'm gonna do? Wait for someone to approach and love me?' We all know, its not going to be that easy.
As we walked side by side under the fluorescent lights, I took a hasty glance at Christina. She didn't seem to overlook the news earlier. She was unnaturally quiet than I expected her to... Usually, she would scare me to death.
Her head was down all this time that I couldn't even seem to see her white despairing face. I interrupted her, "So... what-" She cut me off while declaring aloofly, "I can't handle 'death' very well." She emphasized the word 'death' almost as though there's a hidden monstrosity behind it, pending for its prey to appease its hunger. 'I mean we can't handle it either, right?'
I combed involuntarily my hair between my fingers. My head on the side, uninterested of where the topic will progress to as we travelled ourselves to this so called 'death', "Everybody else would be worried about it. So... no worries- since you're not alone." I reflected mutely, 'I am like you Christina. I just wanted to let you know but I guess... I couldn't because I myself wasn't sure if that can help her.'
She stated stumblingly over words, trembling in fear as she hold herself together, "I- It was like a phobia for me... I... I often picture my family going on to that... out of nowhere... and it made me vulnerable... I can't even sleep and I usually scream on top of my lungs whenever I think about it...and and... tremble. I realize that I can't take it for granted."
I yawned ruthlessly nonchalant of her devastation, "If you're that horrified... why are you a nurse in the first place? A person with the same profession had to be accustomed with death since certain patients all the way had to. You can't assume that any hospital doesn't go as the same fashion as human life... especially the way things now-" I respired before continuing with my lines, "-Christina, death is everywhere... and if the time comes, we go along with it. There's no stopping it from what our fates had foretold."
Christina caught a glimpse while fiddling shyly with her hands. Her bashful eyes looking down at her feet. She quavered softly, "If that so...-" Her annoyed mood backlashed as she scolded intemperately at me, "Then you are really going along with 'death'- as what you've told me. Then keep on being a smart*ss while entirely not wearing your protective gear! Go kill yourself! I promise you I wouldn't be anxious for your carelessness!" I answered totally having a heartbreak, "Umm... what?"
Abruptly, she grabbed my hair with greater force, messing it all up in a tidal wave as she demanded additionally in a quick grunt, "Explain."
Few strips of my unbound dark hair struggled to keep intact on my scalp, against the extent of Christina's pull. I tried to find an escapade, while budging myself down and plucking tremendously her hand off my hair.
I growled as my mind raced a mile a minute, "Can you read back the first paragraph of this chapter... I had my share-" She slapped my face slightly, still concerned of my present shape, pitying me i guess. 'I hate it when she had to do that before she's giving me a slap to enforce me back to reality.'
She roared, her veins popping out, "Huh? Keep saying dumb sh*t; after all, nobody understands you!" I ranted in return, leaning as my backbone was about to snap as smooth as splitting a toothpick. "I'm on a rush and you can't understand that! I don't want to stay defeated on the floor and to lick your 'boyfriend's *ss."
Having heard that, steam came out of her ears while pulling my hair outrageously than before, "Wait what?!-" She stopped midway as I pointed my index finger on her right, having false ideas to cease her... though that seems to work well on our part.
As we stared in the distance, a dramatic tension emerged beside us. As the light showered from the ceiling sunbathing our skin, a shout bellowed enough to trigger my deafness. A woman in her yellow polka blouse scolded vulgarly towards the man who kneeled beneath her, catching the attention of various people, "How many times do I have to tell you not to offer me any drink in your best interest!"
I questioned, 'Drink?' I scanned her surroundings as earnest as possible when my eyes locked on a breakage. Ivory white shreds spreaded outwardly on the newly-moped floor while black aromatic fluid streamed out from the damage. I speculated, 'A cup of coffee? Who would want their coffee to be thrown away like that? What a waste.'
Beside me Christina asked, her eyebrows raised high in a state of shock , "Mrs. Scott?" I glimpsed at her, the corners of my mouth turned down, "Yeah, let's talk to her." I growled silently, 'Reprimanding her servant again... Guess, I should step in... Don't mind me. I'm not pitying for her sake."
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