99評論
4.74
- 寫作品質
- 更新的穩定性
- 故事發展
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寫檢討
the only negative thing about the story, is the auther being a Lucifer simp, considering that he made her as strong as a freaking beast, and somehow she can beat CG Emiya.
I love how the author thinks that this novel is really bad while its actually really good
please continue I really like this story it's funny. i had a wonderful time with this story and I Had read it many times.
[img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update]
I want to continue I want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to 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continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continue I want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continue
5/5- -4/5- -4/5- -4/5- -5/5 Não vai entrar pras minhas fanfics favoritas, mas foi uma leitura divertida, gostei do fato da personalidade do MC não oscilar muito, gostei da escolha da 1 mulher do MC, também gostei da amizade dele com os caras do grupo, teve alguns furos na história mas isso é normal, também teve algumas partes que achei ilógicas mas em fanfics isso também é normal infelizmente, recomendo •Nota 4.4
70+ no longer mastered. worlds and heroes with situations are somehow inconsistent (not all). It didn’t go in general. and yes, the arch is a pity)
it's a good story, but too often do missions between dimensions even though he just finished it and this story becomes less focused in the original mc world, if you can place the story between the mission story and the story in the original mc world is 5:5 which will make the story balanced because many readers may be bored to see mc doing missions continuously and want to see mc development in the real world.... and also mc looks pretty naive as he seems to easily make a contract with steam for his game issue placing his distribution rights to steam... ah and also if possible when the story takes place in the original world mc should look more original / natural without any magical elements, also don't let mc do things that don't make sense like make games without making the company and steam company management not question how he can make the game itself without the help of the team/company which is very unreasonable... the author should make the story more realistic like if mc wants to make a game he has to make a company and so on.... like the novel "recarnation in America that will start to make company from scratch
I don't have a problem with writing overall it's nice a bit cliche here and there but which fanfic does not have one anyway? Story development is not really what i expected maybe the author is going for a more day-to-day kind of fanfic But one glaring issue i find is the Main Chacter Blake I don't know why the author introduced us to Blake gave him a tragic backstory only to see him make a comeback at the last moment only for everything to not matter because the story is about Jaune Yes You heard me right although there is a decent backstory to Blake he is nothing but a cardboard there to show boring he is in comparison it seems Jaune has been put in more work as a character we see him growing out of his childish naivete becoming stronger and actually facing his problems While Blake is in the background doing whatever i can't say i'm not disappointed in his development and i think i understand to a degree Author wanted MC to have a harem for some reason but interactions came out rather forced and abrupt For example Blake takes a sudden interest in this troubled school-girl and gets pushed away because of her trust issues you'd think he would give her some space and as an actual stranger mind his own business right? No.. He is like a chinese MC here fighting for the damsel in distress trying to get interested to participate in conversations with her why? Because he was interested As i have said too much focus on Jaune to less on Blake his part of the story has not been cultivated well or he himself has not been that he comes across as uninteresting forced and ingeniune in his intentions I don't see the point in making him the MC either way but it's not business Sadly i will be dropping this hopefully in the future Author learns from his mistakes and makes a better fanfic which we can all enjoy
I love group chat stories. There are some minor grammatical errors but overall dismissable. The plot is fun and engaging and the pacing is also pretty nice. Bonus points for the consistency of updates lately. Overall pretty good story.
I Dropped Reading This Novel, Because I Don't Like The Novel's Storyline with the Theme "Group Chat" and the members have MCs from other anime, actually the story is good but I found in this novel that the MC of this novel is not highlighted, in fact the one that stands out is the MC of RWBY and maybe the next one that stands out is Archer *disclaimer: This is just my own opinion so just ignore it
I liked the female muzan twist as it is original(to me) I would like to see another story about a female muzan(yandere was the best part) and a mc across the multiverse.
揭示劇透
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I can't read the comments, because the web wants me to download the game, but it is not supported in my country, the question is, how can I read the comments? And so the history of the top.
Really really good, I especially like the romance, and how the characters personality’s are portrayed, it feels like I’m actually there with the characters just watching them, makes me happy inside
Translated by Google sensei: All relatively good at first, but then it goes downhill in the Demon Slayer mission. The interaction between any character other than the protagonist or Jaune is good, but the main problem is with these two. Not only do I have to put up with the protagonist being in embarrassing and clichéd situations, but also, thanks to the author's fanboy, I have to put up with Jaune in even more embarrassing and clichéd situations. The author kills only both characters and the worst thing is that they are the ones who have the main role, not to mention that since this story is a semi-self-insertion, the protagonist lives sucking Jaune's p*nis. If you manage to ignore all that sorry spectacle, the story is decent, the author has to stop being such a fanboy and give these two characters more solid personalities.
The book was very well done. I like how mc isn't op, it gives more depth and determination for the mc. I also like that jaune is like the second main character. The story is interesting and characters are very well done but my only downside that demon slayer arc is a little bit long. I'm waiting for next chapter and hopefully explore other worlds.
揭示劇透
pls update bro I really want more chapters! the story is good even though slow its very good a solid 9.8/10 tho not much action it has good comedy and slice of life 👍
揭示劇透 everything is perfect but the "updating Stability " other then that it's all good everything's perfect 𝔾𝕆𝕆𝔻 𝔾𝕆𝕆𝔻 𝔾𝕆𝕆𝔻 𝔾𝕆𝕆𝔻 𝔾𝕆𝕆𝔻 𝔾𝕆𝕆𝔻 𝔾𝕆𝕆𝔻 𝔾𝕆𝕆𝔻 𝔾𝕆𝕆𝔻 𝔾𝕆𝕆𝔻 𝔾𝕆𝕆𝔻 𝔾𝕆𝕆𝔻 𝔾𝕆𝕆𝔻
It is a OK-ish novel, no major problems with the writing quality and story development.
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揭示劇透
pls update ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Say hello to the one who... Hello!! Are we going to review this? Yes, we are!! Can we just give it 5-star and left? No!! But we just did... LOL!!
Good story! So please update it daily? Or weekly? 👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍
Ini fanfic yang bagus dan saya suka jalan ceritanya. Saya harap semakin cepat updated dan lebih seru lagi ceritanya.. Semangat author sama 😂.... Saya akan dukung karya anda
Read over twenty chapters and i have to kick myself for wasting my time on this garbage. kudos to the author for making an attempt at writing but.. honestly it's not working out.
So I came from Fanfiction.net after seeing "picture of her" because this is a place that does have this function and that place doesn't. I really like the MC and he's unlike many other trashy edgy xianxia protagonist of this site. Also as soon as I remembered that you wrote Tadano and Delivery system I knew this would be good! As a Fellow Chat Group writer I know it's really difficult to manage many characters from different series because of character dynamics, power systems, scaling, etc. My only gripe with this ff is, why make OC's as the MC's heroines, when you can add many other beautiful, strong women from different series? I mean, it's your story, but honestly it's a waste of a fanfic IMO. BTW I'm Im4xsk1ll from FF.net, saying it just in case... Also, if it isn't any problem, can you review my fic? I'm thinking of rewriting the parts that I messed up and looking for different ideas to see what could I do to make it better....
MC it has a personality growth (the balls will grow from the chapter...). The writing quality is very good, surprising for a website that published xianxian.
and yet, the author repeats the mistakes of other idiots. WHY ADD AN ORIGINAL CHARACTER FROM THE ORDINARY WORLD WHEN YOU HAVE AN INTER-WORLD CHAT!? WHAT KIND OF IDIOCY!?
the only negative thing about the story, is the auther being a Lucifer simp, considering that he made her as strong as a freaking beast, and somehow she can beat CG Emiya.
I love how the author thinks that this novel is really bad while its actually really good
please continue I really like this story it's funny. i had a wonderful time with this story and I Had read it many times.
[img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update]
I want to continue I want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to 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want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continue I want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continueI want to continue
5/5- -4/5- -4/5- -4/5- -5/5 Não vai entrar pras minhas fanfics favoritas, mas foi uma leitura divertida, gostei do fato da personalidade do MC não oscilar muito, gostei da escolha da 1 mulher do MC, também gostei da amizade dele com os caras do grupo, teve alguns furos na história mas isso é normal, também teve algumas partes que achei ilógicas mas em fanfics isso também é normal infelizmente, recomendo •Nota 4.4
70+ no longer mastered. worlds and heroes with situations are somehow inconsistent (not all). It didn’t go in general. and yes, the arch is a pity)
it's a good story, but too often do missions between dimensions even though he just finished it and this story becomes less focused in the original mc world, if you can place the story between the mission story and the story in the original mc world is 5:5 which will make the story balanced because many readers may be bored to see mc doing missions continuously and want to see mc development in the real world.... and also mc looks pretty naive as he seems to easily make a contract with steam for his game issue placing his distribution rights to steam... ah and also if possible when the story takes place in the original world mc should look more original / natural without any magical elements, also don't let mc do things that don't make sense like make games without making the company and steam company management not question how he can make the game itself without the help of the team/company which is very unreasonable... the author should make the story more realistic like if mc wants to make a game he has to make a company and so on.... like the novel "recarnation in America that will start to make company from scratch
I don't have a problem with writing overall it's nice a bit cliche here and there but which fanfic does not have one anyway? Story development is not really what i expected maybe the author is going for a more day-to-day kind of fanfic But one glaring issue i find is the Main Chacter Blake I don't know why the author introduced us to Blake gave him a tragic backstory only to see him make a comeback at the last moment only for everything to not matter because the story is about Jaune Yes You heard me right although there is a decent backstory to Blake he is nothing but a cardboard there to show boring he is in comparison it seems Jaune has been put in more work as a character we see him growing out of his childish naivete becoming stronger and actually facing his problems While Blake is in the background doing whatever i can't say i'm not disappointed in his development and i think i understand to a degree Author wanted MC to have a harem for some reason but interactions came out rather forced and abrupt For example Blake takes a sudden interest in this troubled school-girl and gets pushed away because of her trust issues you'd think he would give her some space and as an actual stranger mind his own business right? No.. He is like a chinese MC here fighting for the damsel in distress trying to get interested to participate in conversations with her why? Because he was interested As i have said too much focus on Jaune to less on Blake his part of the story has not been cultivated well or he himself has not been that he comes across as uninteresting forced and ingeniune in his intentions I don't see the point in making him the MC either way but it's not business Sadly i will be dropping this hopefully in the future Author learns from his mistakes and makes a better fanfic which we can all enjoy
I love group chat stories. There are some minor grammatical errors but overall dismissable. The plot is fun and engaging and the pacing is also pretty nice. Bonus points for the consistency of updates lately. Overall pretty good story.
I Dropped Reading This Novel, Because I Don't Like The Novel's Storyline with the Theme "Group Chat" and the members have MCs from other anime, actually the story is good but I found in this novel that the MC of this novel is not highlighted, in fact the one that stands out is the MC of RWBY and maybe the next one that stands out is Archer *disclaimer: This is just my own opinion so just ignore it
I liked the female muzan twist as it is original(to me) I would like to see another story about a female muzan(yandere was the best part) and a mc across the multiverse.
揭示劇透 ................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................
I can't read the comments, because the web wants me to download the game, but it is not supported in my country, the question is, how can I read the comments? And so the history of the top.
Really really good, I especially like the romance, and how the characters personality’s are portrayed, it feels like I’m actually there with the characters just watching them, makes me happy inside
Translated by Google sensei: All relatively good at first, but then it goes downhill in the Demon Slayer mission. The interaction between any character other than the protagonist or Jaune is good, but the main problem is with these two. Not only do I have to put up with the protagonist being in embarrassing and clichéd situations, but also, thanks to the author's fanboy, I have to put up with Jaune in even more embarrassing and clichéd situations. The author kills only both characters and the worst thing is that they are the ones who have the main role, not to mention that since this story is a semi-self-insertion, the protagonist lives sucking Jaune's p*nis. If you manage to ignore all that sorry spectacle, the story is decent, the author has to stop being such a fanboy and give these two characters more solid personalities.
The book was very well done. I like how mc isn't op, it gives more depth and determination for the mc. I also like that jaune is like the second main character. The story is interesting and characters are very well done but my only downside that demon slayer arc is a little bit long. I'm waiting for next chapter and hopefully explore other worlds.
揭示劇透 pls update bro I really want more chapters! the story is good even though slow its very good a solid 9.8/10 tho not much action it has good comedy and slice of life 👍
揭示劇透 everything is perfect but the "updating Stability " other then that it's all good everything's perfect 𝔾𝕆𝕆𝔻 𝔾𝕆𝕆𝔻 𝔾𝕆𝕆𝔻 𝔾𝕆𝕆𝔻 𝔾𝕆𝕆𝔻 𝔾𝕆𝕆𝔻 𝔾𝕆𝕆𝔻 𝔾𝕆𝕆𝔻 𝔾𝕆𝕆𝔻 𝔾𝕆𝕆𝔻 𝔾𝕆𝕆𝔻 𝔾𝕆𝕆𝔻 𝔾𝕆𝕆𝔻
It is a OK-ish novel, no major problems with the writing quality and story development.
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Exp Exp Exp Exp Exp Exp Exp Exp Exp Exp Exp Exp Exp Exp Exp Exp Exp Exp Exp Exp Exp Exp Exp Exp Exp Exp Exp Exp Exp Exp Exp Exp Exp Exp Exp Exp
揭示劇透 pls update ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Say hello to the one who... Hello!! Are we going to review this? Yes, we are!! Can we just give it 5-star and left? No!! But we just did... LOL!!
Good story! So please update it daily? Or weekly? 👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍
Ini fanfic yang bagus dan saya suka jalan ceritanya. Saya harap semakin cepat updated dan lebih seru lagi ceritanya.. Semangat author sama 😂.... Saya akan dukung karya anda
Read over twenty chapters and i have to kick myself for wasting my time on this garbage. kudos to the author for making an attempt at writing but.. honestly it's not working out.
So I came from Fanfiction.net after seeing "picture of her" because this is a place that does have this function and that place doesn't. I really like the MC and he's unlike many other trashy edgy xianxia protagonist of this site. Also as soon as I remembered that you wrote Tadano and Delivery system I knew this would be good! As a Fellow Chat Group writer I know it's really difficult to manage many characters from different series because of character dynamics, power systems, scaling, etc. My only gripe with this ff is, why make OC's as the MC's heroines, when you can add many other beautiful, strong women from different series? I mean, it's your story, but honestly it's a waste of a fanfic IMO. BTW I'm Im4xsk1ll from FF.net, saying it just in case... Also, if it isn't any problem, can you review my fic? I'm thinking of rewriting the parts that I messed up and looking for different ideas to see what could I do to make it better....
MC it has a personality growth (the balls will grow from the chapter...). The writing quality is very good, surprising for a website that published xianxian.
and yet, the author repeats the mistakes of other idiots. WHY ADD AN ORIGINAL CHARACTER FROM THE ORDINARY WORLD WHEN YOU HAVE AN INTER-WORLD CHAT!? WHAT KIND OF IDIOCY!?