章節 221: The Process of Acceptance.
Li Hwa was straddling Aaron on his butt, while she massaged Aaron's back.
Looking down on the mechanical device on Aaron's back, Li Hwa asked Aaron.
"Does it hurt?"
She traced the edges of the device with one of her hands, touching the skin on Aaron's back.
Aaron who was enjoying the massage by his beautiful girlfriend replied.
"I got used to the pain, to me it only stings. My pain tolerance is quite high you know."
Li Hwa finished massaging Aaron.
Getting up from Aaron's back, she sat up properly on the couch.
"Is there no cure?" Li Hwa asked Aaron.
Aaron got up from his prone position before he sat up straight on the couch.
Taking his t-shirt from the table in front of him, he leaned back on the couch.
"How can there be a cure for a curse made by the gods? Haha! Li Hwa, dont worry. It just... Sometimes I feel irritated by the pain, it's annoying! That's why I keep myself busy with my projects. If I can focus my attention elsewhere, it's as if I don't feel anything at all."
"Come on be serious! Haaaah, I'm trying to have a serious conversation and you're joking about like it's nothing serious." Li Hwa sighed.
"Hahaha, but it's true! I'm cursed by the gods. The reason why I'm cursed is also ridiculous too." Aaron laughed it off.
Of course, Li Hwa wouldn't believe such nonsense.
Still, Aaron feels like opening up to Li Hwa even if she doesn't believe him.
"I was cursed because my soul housed a Shard of Time. Apparently, the God of Time was crazy and tried to create a time loop by making a crack in time. It almost destroyed the universe! Fortunately, the other Origin Gods helped to mend the crack. But a little piece of Time, a Shard of Time got lost in the universe. Later, that piece of Shard took house in my soul. My soul couldn't handle the weight of time, so the Gods had to suppress the Shard's power. However, a weird phenomenon took place after they suppressed the Shard. That little piece of Shard, bonded with my soul. After I bonded with the Shard, my soul was on the brink of collapse because of the Shard. Now that the Shard has bonded with me, if my soul gets destroyed then the Shard will be lost once more. The Gods didn't know what to do with me. If they kill me the Shard will be lost, and if they let me die the Shard will destroy my soul and will be lost in the universe. A tricky situation! Then the God of Fate suggested cursing me to suppress the Shard's powers and keep an eye on me until they find a solution on how to extract the Shard. That's how I got cursed. The Gods played with me and my fate." Aaron gave a rundown of the events in a way like he was telling some story.
Li Hwa rolled her eyes, not believing Aaron.
After all who would believe such nonsense?
No sane person would.
"Haha, good story. Now, get up and go get me a glass of orange juice. Go, get up! Quick, rush!!!" Li Hwa playfully hit Aaron a few times, urging him to go make orange juice for her.
"Alright, alright, I'm going, sheesh woman! I'm getting up, okay!!!" Aaron got up from the couch.
"Funnily enough, a few years later, I befriended a Goddess. Not just any Goddess, the first creation of Chaos, the very 'Darkness' of the universe. They played with my fate, in turn, 'Karma' played them like a bit*h. The strongest and the most mysterious Goddess became my best friend..." Aaron said in a low voice as he walked towards the kitchen to make a glass of orange juice for Li Hwa.
5 minutes later,
Aaron came back to the living room from the kitchen with a glass of orange juice in his hand.
He took a seat beside Li Hwa before handing her the glass.
Li Hwa took the glass from Aaron.
She took a sip of the juice before she looked at Aaron's face.
"Didn't you said you have work today? What happened to your work?" She asked Aaron.
Shrugging his shoulders, Aaron replied to Li Hwa.
"Sabastian said he will take over for me, so now I don't have anything to do today."
"Hmm..." Li Hwa hummed hearing Aaron's response.
There was a couple of minutes of silence before Li Hwa spoke up.
"Are you not worried?"
"..."
Aaron didn't reply right away.
He knows what Li Hwa was implying with her question.
A minute later, Aaron sighed before replying to Li Hwa.
"I'm worried... How can I not? She is my sister and the most precious person in my life..."
"Now you just made me envy your sister, be thoughtful of my feelings will you!"
Li Hwa joked, trying to lighten up the mood with a bit of humour.
Aaron laughed lightly, hearing Li Hwa.
"I'm worried but also not worried. She's strong and can defend herself, so there's nothing to worry about for her safety. What I'm worried about is? Her psychological state, her state of mind!"
Aaron turned to Li Hwa.
"Aurora is going through the cycles of acceptance. Each cycle of grief has a series of sub-cycles. The first step in the process of acceptance is to identify one's emotions attached to some events, people or relationship. These three are just examples I'm giving but you get the idea, right? So, In Aurora's case, the emotions include anger, sadness, disappointment, loss, frustration, abandonment, rejection, loneliness and so forth. Rather than resisting or denying those emotions, she needs to acknowledge them, admit them and say that it is okay to feel those feelings. If she resists them, they will turn to depression and she will begin to feel helpless and hopeless."
Aaron said lying down on Li Hwa's lap.
"You sound like you're a grief counsellor. Since when did you start studying psychology?" Li Hwa commented interrupting Aaron, after hearing him.
She then repositioned herself on the couch for her and Aaron's comfort.
"It's necessary to understand people. Anyhow, that is the first step! Identify, then feel, after that release the emotions within."
Aaron continued to explain the process of acceptance to Li Hwa.
"The second process is to gain a full understanding of her feelings, her emotions. She needs to question herself to gain new understanding and wisdom. For example, what are her limitations? Why is she that way? Even if she could change, is it really likely that she will; does she even want to change? In Aurora's case, she needs to gain insight and wisdom about the reasons she acts and behaves the way she does."
Li Hwa ran her fingers through Aaron's hair, she listened intently as Aaron talked about the process of acceptance like he is some professional psychiatrist.
"The third is Discernment. This is a simple but not necessarily easy step – recognizing and clearly identifying what one can and what one cannot change or control. At this point, she needs to stop trying to avoid and bury the things over which she has no control. Such as people and past events."
"The fourth is Solution. The paradox of acceptance is letting go of resistance along with having neutral emotions over it while also recognizing that sometimes a solution is still required to fill a need. Then we come to the final cycle, the fifth. Which is hope! The belief that things can get better gives us strength and helps us to handle life's challenges, disappointments, losses and suffering. When one arrives at the place of true acceptance, one stops wasting energy trying to change the past or present and instead, one focus their energy on that which they can control – usually by themselves. Finally, it is critical to be able to discern when they need to fight for things and when they need to find peace with what is."
"The most important part of moving on, the final stage of grief which is acceptance, is the most difficult part of the whole process of grief."
Aaron finished talking about the process of acceptance to Li Hwa.
"So have you went through the same process?"
Aaron was startled by the sudden inquiry of Li Hwa.
He widened his eyes in surprise before he put on a gentle smile on his face, full of serenity.
Aaron raised his hand up to grab a lock of hair of Li Hwa.
He curled the lock around his fingers before releasing them.
He then placed his hand on Li Hwa's head, gently pulling her closer as he closed his eyes.
As soon as Aaron closed his eyes, he felt Li Hwa's soft lips on his.
He could taste the sweet citrusy flavour of the orange juice on her lips.
Aaron sucked the lower lips of Li Hwa as she did with his upper lips.
They locked their lips, sucking and kissing each other before Li Hwa bit on Aaron's lips gently.
Urging him to deepen the kiss, giving him passage to enter his tongue.
But Aaron broke off the kiss at that moment.
Li Hwa pulled her head away, before locking her dark brown eyes with Aaron's light green eyes.
"I did. Although my sister did most of the work, however, you're the one who made me accept my life and my current self..."
Li Hwa gave a radiant smile to Aaron, hearing his words.
Seeing her bright smile, Aaron said to her.
"I'm falling deeper and deeper in your love, Choi Li Hwa!"
Aaron once again pulled Li Hwa closer before kissing her again.
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