A peaceful morning around twelve years ago.
It was summer, a perfect day for hide and seek.
"Ziloh!" the six-year-old Alyssa shouted her throat out. "Zilooooohh!"
Alyssa already found Kiva and Barny, but she always ended up looking for Ziloh last.
"Let's not find him." Kiva kicked a stone out of frustration. "He tricked you, he doesn't want to be found."
"But what if he's waiting for us to find him?"
"If he really wants to, he already showed up."
"Right princess, I don't think you have to worry about Lord Ziloh." Barn held her hand.
"But I told him to hide and he said yes." Alyssa slid her hands away from Barn. "He won't lie to me! I'm the princess!"
"But princess, it's getting dark." Barn looked above the horizon where the sky was painted orange. "It will be your curfew in a few yours, Lady Kiva would have to go to her room too."
"Yes, Ali. Father might already be looking for me."
"Both of you can go, it'll look for a few more minutes." Alyssa ran away from her companion as fast as she could.
"But princess!" Barn pleaded with exhaustion, not even trying to catch up with her.
"Ziloh!" Alyssa voice echoed onto the empty hallway. "Ziloh."
Alyssa knew the magic words to make him appear, she needed to accept defeat.
Taking a deep breath, Alyssa announced on the empty hallway. "Okay, I give up. You can come out now!"
And out of the shadows emerged Ziloh.
"Finally! I've been calling you the whole time." Alyssa sprinted towards him, kicking him on the shin. "Did you not hear me?"
Ziloh looked unperturbed, bored even. "I heard everything." He was scratching his ears. "Hearing my name had never been that annoying, usually its…" he looked down at the young Alyssa. "Never mind."
"I don't think I should play hide and seek with you again." Alyssa announced with resolution. "Unless you share me your hideout so I can hide there and Kiva and Barny will never find me."
"Maybe someday, when you don't want to be found, I'll show you."
"I don't want to be found now!" Alyssa looked behind her, she could hear Barny's steps walking towards her. "Show me! Now!" she jumped up and down in desperation. "Hurry!"
"Princess!" Barn's voice echoed behind her. "It's time to go back to your room."
"I don't want to go back!"
"Someday."
"I don't want to sleep yet!" Alyssa turned towards Barn. "I want to play more!"
"Princess," Barny held her by the elbow, gently dragging her.
"I found him, Barny!" Alyssa pointed in front of her--- it was empty. "Ziloh?"
"ZILOH!" Alyssa shouted with all her might. "ZILOH!"
"Princess, you can look for him tomorrow."
"But—" Alyssa was half walking and half being dragged. "BUT, I already found him."
"ZILOH!" Alyssa's voice echoed above the ceiling. "Show yourself and tell Barny I won the game! I found the three of you before sunset!"
"ZILOH!" Alyssa shouted until she was locked up in her room for the night, but Ziloh did not respond to even one of her calls.
***
Alyssa was as lifeless as a withered flower on Ziloh's arms. She was limp as Ziloh paraded her in the hallway. She was as tame as she had been, she did not struggle nor began an argument with Ziloh. Nor did she even argued to walk on her own when attendants, who were passing by, whispered to each other, staring as much as they could dare.
Alyssa did not trust Ziloh, but she did not trust her knees more at the moment--- she might fall down straight on the floor if Ziloh releases her.
Alyssa was not aware of her surroundings, nor she was aware of where they were going. But she could feel they were descending down a series of stairs, never ending as if they were heading towards hell. Alyssa did not really pay attention where they were heading until she was gently settled down to a soft material, like a cloud.
Alyssa had finally come into her senses, seeing that she was sitting on a black couch.
"Where are we?" Alyssa looked above the ceiling--- it was unpainted concrete. "What is this place?" she looked around the area--- there was only a black couch where she was currently occupying, and a round table with no additional chairs. "Are we still inside the palace?"
"It would cause great pain if I managed to smuggle you out of the palace." Ziloh carried her again in her arms.
"Hey, what are you---" Colors are slowly coming back on Alyssa's face. "Stop, how dare---" she shoved her hand on Ziloh's face punching, slapping, poking whatever her hand may come into contact.
"My hideout." Ziloh sat on the couch with Alyssa sitting on her lap. "No one will find you here." he wrapped his arms on her hips, making her locked up in place.
"Holy mother of brains!" Alyssa shoved from side to side, struggling to be released from his hold. "Find space elsewhere! You sit on the floor!"
"That would be too easy." Ziloh was not affected by her tantrums, not at all. "I prefer things more… difficult."
"Anyone! Anybody!" Alyssa shouted above the ceiling, realizing it was Barny's name that was at the tip of her tounge. She sat still, snickered. Barny was dead, it was not the same Barny who cradled her at night, who ate with her, who played with her, who she shared all her secrets with--- who was like a father to her. "Elion!" She shouted instead.
Alyssa felt the sudden rise and fall of Ziloh's chest behind her. "That was not the name you were shouting earlier." He whispered to her ear. "You think of another man when one is right here with you, fascinating. Making things very very complicated and difficult."
Alyssa flinched. Barn's eyes suddenly flashed in front of Alyssa, his desire to eat her suddenly felt imminent in the room. "I just, I just feel threatened." she held her arms to stop them from shaking, goose bumps all over her body. "Are we even safe here?"
Alyssa held her right hand to stop it from shaking. "We're safe here?"
"Safe?" Ziloh smirked. "It's the most dangerous place to be."
"Well, as long as you're not going to eat me…" There was a long pause before she continued--- she really was trying hard not to let a single tear escape from her eyes. "I guess I'm fine being in here."
Alyssa broke the silence after she calmed herself down.
"He wanted to eat me," Alyssa wrapped her hands on her knees. "There was no hesitation in his eyes."
Ziloh turned Alyssa to face him. "It is not his fault." He traced a hand on her neck. "Who would not want to have a taste?" his bracelet dangling as his hands stopping right at her collarbone. "We always want what we can't have." He balled his hands into a fist, placing it at his side, releasing Alyssa from his hold.
Alyssa found it comforting, not to the fact that she is actually seen as something edible, but to the fact that Ziloh does not cover the truth from her.
"Not for me." Alyssa stood up and walked towards the wall as fast as she could master, holding onto the concrete for her dear life. "I just wanted what others had. I just always wanted to be normal."
"Precisely. You can't have normal," Ziloh pinned her to the wall with his piercing eyes. "that's why it's so alluring to you… to me too."
"Once I complete the ceremony…" Alyssa bowed her head and closed her eyes, feeling the fatigue.
Ziloh chided in. "You know what I am." Ziloh stood up and walked right in front of Alyssa. "You're living in the place full of monsters." He tipped her head, forcing her to look at him. "How long will you protect yourself from the truth? It's time for you to wake up my queen."
***
Seeing that she was very exhausted, Ziloh decided to take her back to her room, with her walking on her feet this time of course.
Bus as they come near, Alyssa was beginning to feel anxious that someone might come and visit her tonight and eat her. Ziloh must have felt her fear for he said: "No one will come near your room tonight, take some rest.
"I can take care of myself." Alyssa replied as she opened the door toward her room.
"Say that again once you've fixed your two left feet." Ziloh replied.
"I can walk perfectly fine. Thank you!" Alyssa would never straight up admit to him how wobbly she walked just now.
"I'm not talking about that," Ziloh smirked. "I'm talking about your dancing skill… or the lack thereof."
"What?! What do you mean?" Alyssa had a very bad feeling about this.
"If you want to complete your ceremony that bad, you will have to earn how to dance." Ziloh was smiling from ear to ear. "Rest well for tonight, you'll need it for tomorrow."
Ziloh's last words echoed into Alyssa's mind, convincing it to rest, to stop thinking. But it does not stop just because she tells it to.
It was either having a nightmare or having eyebags, Alyssa chose the latter.
Being served on a table with the royals consuming her insides would not be a very good thing to dream about.
It was the second day without Eli so Alyssa had to do everything by her own.
There were packets of sweets on the floor, for eating late night sweets to keep her awake last night, she shoveled them away using her feet as she prepared for the day.
It turns out there are a lot of things she does not know where things were kept. Like where the stash of her bathroom essentials was placed. She suddenly ran out of shampoo in the middle of taking a shower. She went out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around her and she rummaged through her cabinet.
She found everything--- cleansing items, tool box, and pesticides--- except for the thing that she needed.
Realizing she would never be able to find it, she settled for using her body soap for her hair. And by just taking a shower, Alyssa's room became more disorganized than it was earlier when she woke up.
She realized she needed to clean, which she did, Her definition of cleaning, meaning, shoving all the junks onto a cabinet so it would never been found.