28評論
4.16
- 寫作品質
- 更新的穩定性
- 故事發展
- 人物形象設計
- 世界背景
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寫檢討
I am going to say this once, the first few chapters weren't great but if you can move past them, I am sure you'll enjoy my novel. Hope that you will give it a chance.
скучно и затянуто. The author is new and needs to improve his writing skills. The characters are linear and without their own zest. I don't recommend this story if you don't want to waste your time.
Ridículo , não soube desenvolver a história, os personagens parecem robôs e não tem lógica nenhuma nem nenhuma empatia entre eles, poderia ter sido melhor porém a história é o Autor fracassaram
second chapter and I already know how it goes, protagonist in the style to be sorry or overcome... meaningless friendship with korra because he decided to come back (only after getting "strong" and following her development later) beyond this protagonist context that deserves the pity of the reader already being a cliché
Es un buen fanfic de avatar y más que es de Korra de. Los cuales solo conozco este y otro, aunque al principio la historia parecía estar desarrollándose muy rápido ya en los últimos capítulos se fue estabilizando algo y es bueno que desarrolles bien las relaciones de los personajes ya que sienten como las de la animación, lo malo serie la poca actualización que tiene la serie
The books past is real trash i even cant say 1 one good thing but after 1 year i think you can make better :) Wish's are idiotic if you dont want to make him op you can just say he cant get wishes but help from god :)
very good book but man the relationships are really badly developed and it really seems the relationships go to fast. Also literally every one for some reason is straight up accepting request or denying them.
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it's a great story that you just to focus on your grammar a bit on the story development and i think that's what you need to do for the time being
I could really see some people enjoying this fanfic and the beginning felt okay too me but the more I read I started to feel like something was missing the characters just felt really static and some parts of the story felt awkward and forced
The story was ok in the beginning some what enticing. Then the author showed us the dark side in all its well nastiness. It just might be to your liking but, I’m out. Honestly I came for one of my memorable childhood shows but, I was wronged😭. It’s good in the beginning but, the most smallest things can ruin a story their was many and then a large one. Taking down mafia that rape little children in their basement is good but, then again you didn’t need to make the kid tv show world so dark I mean damn. It’s your world say that rape is not even an option for any one and it will be so at best imply it like the mc backstory(cough another world cough). Are u making a statement maybe you are but, I don’t care. At the end of the day, I came for a good time maybe a Little warning next time (this goes for everyone one). I could right so much more but, I got better things to do.
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wOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
so this is a great concept so far but it's very inconsistent in it's story telling it's seems like your trying to make it au but then it just follows the same story as the original and the mc is just tacked on at least that's how I feel
ExpExpExpExpExpExpExpExpExpExpExpExpExpExpExpExpExpExpExpExpExpExpExpExpExpExpExpExpExpExpExpExpExpExpExpExpExpExpExpExpExpExpExpExpExpExpExpExpExp
expexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpv
I love this storyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
Why is he so weak when he’s basically todoroki from mha like if you gonna give him duel elements don’t make him him seem super weak compared to other benders
揭示劇透
My only problem with it is that the author did not update for a while. It is interesting but there is room for improvement. hjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj
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expexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexp
I love the story jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj
This story reminds me of the novel dual bender in avatar. I truly hope you choose to continue updating unlike the novel I just mentioned. It was a great story but then the author just stop updating for over 3 months.
thaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaanks for chapter gggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg
I like where this story is going I'm just wondering if we can have details or type of martial arts the main character uses....................................
I like it. I reviewed on the old one so I thought ill just review on this tooI like it. I reviewed on the old one so I thought ill just review on this tooI like it. I reviewed on the old one so I thought ill just review on this tooI like it. I reviewed on the old one so I thought ill just review on this too
I like it please dont drop Tdyf9fliflulgi cyrclcidy7lctelictelicdtl8cd5xo7tlutvslxutd7pdtlutbdit flex itdc65iz exs6r9igcultlxutkruzkcutx7otdcdo74oc7dtocutduocduodv dst dditdo7vto7bstorud
Hey guys I forgot the password for my other account so read my chapters here. Loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooove all who read my work.
I am going to say this once, the first few chapters weren't great but if you can move past them, I am sure you'll enjoy my novel. Hope that you will give it a chance.
скучно и затянуто. The author is new and needs to improve his writing skills. The characters are linear and without their own zest. I don't recommend this story if you don't want to waste your time.
Ridículo , não soube desenvolver a história, os personagens parecem robôs e não tem lógica nenhuma nem nenhuma empatia entre eles, poderia ter sido melhor porém a história é o Autor fracassaram
second chapter and I already know how it goes, protagonist in the style to be sorry or overcome... meaningless friendship with korra because he decided to come back (only after getting "strong" and following her development later) beyond this protagonist context that deserves the pity of the reader already being a cliché
Es un buen fanfic de avatar y más que es de Korra de. Los cuales solo conozco este y otro, aunque al principio la historia parecía estar desarrollándose muy rápido ya en los últimos capítulos se fue estabilizando algo y es bueno que desarrolles bien las relaciones de los personajes ya que sienten como las de la animación, lo malo serie la poca actualización que tiene la serie
The books past is real trash i even cant say 1 one good thing but after 1 year i think you can make better :) Wish's are idiotic if you dont want to make him op you can just say he cant get wishes but help from god :)
very good book but man the relationships are really badly developed and it really seems the relationships go to fast. Also literally every one for some reason is straight up accepting request or denying them.
....................................................................................................................................................
it's a great story that you just to focus on your grammar a bit on the story development and i think that's what you need to do for the time being
I could really see some people enjoying this fanfic and the beginning felt okay too me but the more I read I started to feel like something was missing the characters just felt really static and some parts of the story felt awkward and forced
The story was ok in the beginning some what enticing. Then the author showed us the dark side in all its well nastiness. It just might be to your liking but, I’m out. Honestly I came for one of my memorable childhood shows but, I was wronged😭. It’s good in the beginning but, the most smallest things can ruin a story their was many and then a large one. Taking down mafia that rape little children in their basement is good but, then again you didn’t need to make the kid tv show world so dark I mean damn. It’s your world say that rape is not even an option for any one and it will be so at best imply it like the mc backstory(cough another world cough). Are u making a statement maybe you are but, I don’t care. At the end of the day, I came for a good time maybe a Little warning next time (this goes for everyone one). I could right so much more but, I got better things to do.
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wOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
so this is a great concept so far but it's very inconsistent in it's story telling it's seems like your trying to make it au but then it just follows the same story as the original and the mc is just tacked on at least that's how I feel
ExpExpExpExpExpExpExpExpExpExpExpExpExpExpExpExpExpExpExpExpExpExpExpExpExpExpExpExpExpExpExpExpExpExpExpExpExpExpExpExpExpExpExpExpExpExpExpExpExp
expexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpv
I love this storyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
Why is he so weak when he’s basically todoroki from mha like if you gonna give him duel elements don’t make him him seem super weak compared to other benders
揭示劇透 My only problem with it is that the author did not update for a while. It is interesting but there is room for improvement. hjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj
This is fun vbnmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
expexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexpexp
I love the story jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj
This story reminds me of the novel dual bender in avatar. I truly hope you choose to continue updating unlike the novel I just mentioned. It was a great story but then the author just stop updating for over 3 months.
thaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaanks for chapter gggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg
I like where this story is going I'm just wondering if we can have details or type of martial arts the main character uses....................................
I like it. I reviewed on the old one so I thought ill just review on this tooI like it. I reviewed on the old one so I thought ill just review on this tooI like it. I reviewed on the old one so I thought ill just review on this tooI like it. I reviewed on the old one so I thought ill just review on this too
I like it please dont drop Tdyf9fliflulgi cyrclcidy7lctelictelicdtl8cd5xo7tlutvslxutd7pdtlutbdit flex itdc65iz exs6r9igcultlxutkruzkcutx7otdcdo74oc7dtocutduocduodv dst dditdo7vto7bstorud
Hey guys I forgot the password for my other account so read my chapters here. Loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooove all who read my work.