章節 48: Chapter 45: You Can't Give Something You Don't Even Have
"I am a chosen."
…
…
…
"W-what did I just hear? A ch-chosen?! What do you mean? Are you nuts? Is there something wrong with your brain?" Stellar asked him as he looked away while he tried to keep his cool.
"I said I am a chosen. I was sent from above to save people battling different kinds of emotional pain, and unfortunately," he paused and looked down "you are one of them." Light said and looked straight into the eyes of Stellar- and she was almost drawn nearer to trust him.
"Not that I believe you but why are you telling me this?" Stellar asked him, still astound to his almost impossible revelation. "A chosen helping other people- just what the hell is this ridiculousness? Are you schizophrenic?"
"Don't joke about that because that matter's serious. And to answer your question--it was because I thought that if I tell you my biggest secret and trust you with this, you might as well trust me and open up so I can help you. You seem to have upheld a close relation with the creator" Light said, still looking at her while his big hands seized his reddish necklace and held it firmly. Stellar noticed that it was blinking but she was impressed with the intricate patterns that embodied it. "You see, if this necklace blinks, that means that the person I am to save is nearby me or is already in front of me. Stellar, you are my next mission." He said unaffectedly, his golden-painted eyes were locked onto her for about quite some time. Stellar had trouble forming words because the ethereal sight of him was truly enthralling- he had a silvery-gray hair- but not like those old people- it was really silvery- it was shining so bright. His skin was ghost-white, and he was very tall that she needed to look up whenever she spoke to him. He was the quintessence of perfection- of inhumane human, the epitome of an angel- a savior.
'My dearest god? Is this your answer to my prayer? Is this what you wanted me to do?' Stellar thought as she looked up, hoping that the being she worshipped will be able to hear her.
"A-are you really my angel?" she asked, still daunted by the fact that a person like Light did exist in her world to help people like herself who was battling different kinds of adversities. Light looked at her again with his enthralling eyes and kept that gaze for a while.
" If you say I am, then I am" He said, his gaze was still unbreakable despite her efforts to not look directly at him because she was sure that it was not just her who feels that way every time she looked at him. He had an angelic effect going around his aura and his entire existence was enough to be considered fatal due to the fact that people like herself were forced to be driven to a corner where they cannot resist but trust him.
"Okay, Angel Light, it seems like I'll have to trust you on this one, but it is not really me who needs help. My beloved sister needs you more than I actually do. Her pain is deeper and more painful. She needs your help. You can abandon me now and go to her. I will be waiting until you come back. I just want her to be well and-"
" Will you stop this?" he said, profound and understandable irritation was apparent on his tone." I said that you are my mission and I am aware that your beloved sister also needs help. You do not have to shoo me away to help her because Hope is on the move. She is my fellow chosen and her mission is to save your sister. Also, you shouldn't compare other person's pain with yours because every person has different pains and are suffering in different ways. What you are doing is invalidating your own pain by emphasizing others pain- while you are neglecting your own. If you want to help other people, should you not help yourself first? You can never give people what you don't have." He said as he interrupted Stellar with her supposedly long speech, 'but can he actually blame me for being caring for my beloved sister?' she thought.
" I just care for my beloved sister. That is all." she told him and laid down the white hospital bed where she was comfortably sitting upon ever since she entered the old but still useful clinic of their school. She turned around because she did not want to face him anymore. She don't want any of his words because they made her want to live. She don't like to see hope in his eyes because she had already decided to abdicate on the cruel life of hers that just caused destruction beyond comprehension. She just wanted everything to be over.
[How great and beautiful can one person's presence help in mending a broken soul.]
"Stellar. You keep on telling me that you love your little sister. I told you that you can never give things that you do not have- just how can you give love to someone when you do not even have any ounce of that for yourself?" he asked. That was why she did not want to turn to him because his words were too painful for her to bear- they were the truth that she knew all this time that she she never wanted to face but still, she cannot surrender to his arguments. He had to hear her out to understand her.
"You do not know what you are talking about Light. There is an ounce of love inside my heart. Even if it is small, there it is, still hanging on." Stellar said, trying to mask her fearful insolence towards him. She knew that it was useless because Light was very observant.
" Why do you starve yourself to death? That is one- I kept hearing your tummy making noises ever since you came here. I guess you havent even had a good night sleep because of overthinking." He stopped for a long time, and Stellar turned around to look at him. He was looking so downhearted the moment she turned to face him because his hair hid his eyes. "Why must you feel sadness like it's already a part of you? Why must you suffer so greatly? Why do you have to face this kind of hardship? I know you are strong but I also know that there is a limit at how far you can endure. I know that you are always acting like nothing is wrong with you when in reality--I can see it in your eyes- sadness is clear and evident--and pristine. You were giving me silent pleas everytime you looked at me because I know that even if you have decided to surrender, there is a part of you that wants to fight more- that wants to live. "
" What do you even know? It's not like you can understand me because no one can absolutely do that. No one understands. No one can understand me unless they stand in my shoe." Stellar cried.
" Maybe I really won't understand you even if you explain or tell me everything but I know one thing for sure- you aren't happy in the world because the deep, haunting sadness had made the light dim for your sight that you now feel lost and unfindable." She looked up to him after wiping her tears with her hands- however, she saw something that made her cry more-
There were bright hues coming from his necklace--the colors appeared as floating circle-like bubbles that had thick color. They were so lively--so brilliant they had a color of light pink- of sky blues--Jungle greens- beautiful violets- golds! Silvers! Oranges- yellows - They looked like amazing bright colors that were coming to life the longer she looked at them- and all of those were emanating from Light.
The colors started to slowly come close to her like wanting to be touched but she did not want her dirty, disgusting hands to dull their colors--she was already dead and the colors were just so alive she couldn't resist herself to touch them the moment she saw them approaching her because of envy.
"No. I-I dont want these colors to just disappear because of my touch."
"Please stay away from me! "
每周推薦票狀態
-- 推薦票
榜單 
-- 推薦票