4.27
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寫檢討dropped as soon as idiot started writing about developing childs skill by sending him with his mother on her death mission and she agreed to the stupid idea. like zero fighting ability as of that moment and they were like ok yea you awesome you can go fight. 😑
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Soy español. Empesemos con esto, la historia es un poco dificil de leer... no me refiero a la gramatica ya que es decente solo que las charlas entre los personajes es deficiente, a lo que voy con esto es que se cuenta como si yo te lo contara a tí y no de una forma que te integre en la historia de modo inmersivo, es un argumento interesante solo un poco cojo y cliche creo que le falta ese realismo que se les da a las historias en el que dices... es.. provable... La trama es bastante forsada y las transiciones del modo que se cuenta la historia carecen de cierta fluides, ergo no lo tomen a mal mejora un poco pero si buscas un trabajo pro no es tu lugar. Creo que va bien encaminado y lo hace decente solo dejo mi punto de vista critico para que tomes lo que te paresca e inrriquescas tu escritura si sigues como vas y mejoras constante mejorare mi calificasion, siempre hay espacio para mejorar suerte.
I have but a singe, lonely, little question. A question that carries the weight of the world. A question that has but nine words. Those nine words are as follows: Are you going to pick this story back up?
Great novel please don't drop it and thank you for this great novel good novels are hard to come by. .
Good novel for the win 😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀👍🤟🤟🤟🤟🤟👏👏👏👏👏✌✌✌✌✌✌ la novela esta bien echa no seas pesimista tu trabajo tiene potencial
Writing quality- 3 star Stability of updates- 4 stars. Story development- 2 stars Character design- 2.5 stars World background- 2 stars. Don't get your hopes up. He is very sensitive in emotions, quite dumb and careless. How can he hide as a baby is beyond me. The plot is... is not really much different here and there. The pace is fast and he has a lot of plot armor and his huh... Okay I'll cut to the chase. The story is subpar. Nothing much new and the characters are off. The Mc is naive that I'm having second thoughts of his ridiculously impossible goal. He preferred brawn over brains and he is being spoiled by his plot armor and so called fate where everything works with him. There are a lot of flaws to I guess but I'm just tired of typing letters in my phone. All in all I think the author is just a die hard fan that writes everything on the spot. RWBY fans have two primary traits, they're young and they're zealots. These are linked but you don't really need to go into that for this topic. Young kids generally either don't realise that the stuff they do is abysmal quality, or they haven't developed enough socially to feel ashamed when they do put something of very low quality out into the open. Combine this with the fact that young RWBY fans are utterly obsessed with the show and you have a ton of people with no clue what they're doing trying to write fanfiction.
I like it I am not really a person who will just read a book in one sitting but this is one I did like lots. So i would read this more when a new chapter comes out
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揭示劇透dropped as soon as idiot started writing about developing childs skill by sending him with his mother on her death mission and she agreed to the stupid idea. like zero fighting ability as of that moment and they were like ok yea you awesome you can go fight. 😑
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Soy español. Empesemos con esto, la historia es un poco dificil de leer... no me refiero a la gramatica ya que es decente solo que las charlas entre los personajes es deficiente, a lo que voy con esto es que se cuenta como si yo te lo contara a tí y no de una forma que te integre en la historia de modo inmersivo, es un argumento interesante solo un poco cojo y cliche creo que le falta ese realismo que se les da a las historias en el que dices... es.. provable... La trama es bastante forsada y las transiciones del modo que se cuenta la historia carecen de cierta fluides, ergo no lo tomen a mal mejora un poco pero si buscas un trabajo pro no es tu lugar. Creo que va bien encaminado y lo hace decente solo dejo mi punto de vista critico para que tomes lo que te paresca e inrriquescas tu escritura si sigues como vas y mejoras constante mejorare mi calificasion, siempre hay espacio para mejorar suerte.
I have but a singe, lonely, little question. A question that carries the weight of the world. A question that has but nine words. Those nine words are as follows: Are you going to pick this story back up?
Great novel please don't drop it and thank you for this great novel good novels are hard to come by. .
Good novel for the win 😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀👍🤟🤟🤟🤟🤟👏👏👏👏👏✌✌✌✌✌✌ la novela esta bien echa no seas pesimista tu trabajo tiene potencial
Writing quality- 3 star Stability of updates- 4 stars. Story development- 2 stars Character design- 2.5 stars World background- 2 stars. Don't get your hopes up. He is very sensitive in emotions, quite dumb and careless. How can he hide as a baby is beyond me. The plot is... is not really much different here and there. The pace is fast and he has a lot of plot armor and his huh... Okay I'll cut to the chase. The story is subpar. Nothing much new and the characters are off. The Mc is naive that I'm having second thoughts of his ridiculously impossible goal. He preferred brawn over brains and he is being spoiled by his plot armor and so called fate where everything works with him. There are a lot of flaws to I guess but I'm just tired of typing letters in my phone. All in all I think the author is just a die hard fan that writes everything on the spot. RWBY fans have two primary traits, they're young and they're zealots. These are linked but you don't really need to go into that for this topic. Young kids generally either don't realise that the stuff they do is abysmal quality, or they haven't developed enough socially to feel ashamed when they do put something of very low quality out into the open. Combine this with the fact that young RWBY fans are utterly obsessed with the show and you have a ton of people with no clue what they're doing trying to write fanfiction.
I like it I am not really a person who will just read a book in one sitting but this is one I did like lots. So i would read this more when a new chapter comes out
It’s so good it’s so good it’s so good It’s so good it’s so good it’s so good It’s so good it’s so good it’s so good It’s so good it’s so good it’s so good It’s so good it’s so good it’s so good It’s so good it’s so good it’s so good It’s so good it’s so good it’s so good It’s so good it’s so good it’s so good It’s so good it’s so good it’s so good It’s so good it’s so good it’s so good It’s so good it’s so good it’s so good It’s so good it’s so good it’s so good It’s so good it’s so good it’s so good It’s so good it’s so good it’s so good It’s so good it’s so good it’s so good It’s so good it’s so good it’s so good It’s so good it’s so good it’s so good It’s so good it’s so good it’s so good It’s so good it’s so good it’s so good It’s so good it’s so good it’s so good It’s so good it’s so good it’s so good It’s so good it’s so good it’s so good It’s so good it’s so good it’s so good It’s so good it’s so good it’s so good It’s so good it’s so good it’s so good It’s so good it’s so good it’s so good It’s so good it’s so good it’s so good It’s so good it’s so good it’s so good It’s so good it’s so good it’s so good It’s so good it’s so good it’s so good It’s so good it’s so good it’s so good It’s so good it’s so good it’s so good It’s so good it’s so good it’s so good It’s so good it’s so good it’s so good It’s so good it’s so good it’s so good It’s so good it’s so good it’s so good It’s so good it’s so good it’s so good It’s so good it’s so good it’s so good It’s so good it’s so good it’s so good It’s so good it’s so good it’s so good It’s so good it’s so good it’s so good It’s so good it’s so good it’s so good It’s so good it’s so good it’s so good It’s so good it’s so good it’s so good It’s so good it’s so good it’s so good It’s so good it’s so good it’s so good It’s so good it’s so good it’s so good It’s so good it’s so good it’s so good It’s so good it’s so good it’s so good It’s so good it’s so good it’s so good It’s so good it’s so good it’s so good It’s so good it’s so good it’s so good It’s so good it’s so good it’s so good It’s so good it’s so good it’s so good It’s so good it’s so good it’s so good It’s so good it’s so good it’s so good It’s so good it’s so good it’s so good It’s so good it’s so good it’s so good It’s so good it’s so good it’s so good It’s so good it’s so good it’s so good It’s so good it’s so good it’s so good It’s so good it’s so good it’s so good It’s so good it’s so good it’s so good It’s so good it’s so good it’s so good
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揭示劇透
next part when you get the chance please