章節 81: Chapter Fifteen: This Feeling Is Called...
On the final day of the school trip for the Iwanai Municipal High School second-years, an excursion of sorts had been planned. Having explored the more educational locations in groups on day one, and allowing the students to check out nearby attractions and places on day two, for day three, the entire group would be traveling together. However, due to the distance and location, plenty of students weren't too happy.
"Why do you have to go all the way out to the middle of nowhere? We live in a place like that already"
"And it's three hours away too! Why are we going so far?!"
Many more complaints like those ones followed, and it took some convincing and assuaging from the escorting teachers to get them to calm down. Of course, that didn't change the truth in their complaints. The place they were going was Shirahige Falls, a nearly three hour drive from Sapporo. Certainly not a typical venture for a trip that's supposed to stay in one place. But, the teachers' reasoning was that if students came to Sapporo on their own, they'd probably never take the time to go even farther out and see a place like Shirahige Falls. So, since they had already come this far, they thought it would be nice to give the students the opportunity to see it and one other place.
There were still a handful of students who weren't satisfied with such an explanation, but as their choices were either stay in their room with a teacher or come along, everybody eventually complied. After a quick breakfast, the group left at 9 a.m. sharp and began making their way to their first destination.
While on the bus, a lot of students talked among themselves, but there was one group in particular that was oddly quiet. Sitting closer to the back, Haruna, Hinami, Chiyo and Kanako all sat in silence. They each had their reasons. Haruna was too preoccupied with Kanako's non-answer last night. Hinami was focused on trying to come up with the right words to say to Kanako when she got the chance to talk to her. Chiyo was distracted by Jasmine's words. Lastly, Kanako was thinking about what she was going to do next.
First and foremost, she wanted to have a proper talk with Haruna. The feeling that she had gotten the previous night had been quite foreboding, and it made Kanako wonder just how much time she had left. No one waits forever, and for as much as Kanako hoped patience was on her side, it was truly impossible to know. But, until she could get rid of the other feeling haunting her, she was stuck.
Never before had Kanako faced such internal anguish. So badly, so very badly, she wanted nothing more than to profess her love to Haruna and for them to be together. And yet, another part of her stood in the way, demanding that her heart be without doubt and without these unnamed lingering emotions before she told Haruna how she felt. The fight inside her against herself felt terrible, and the more Kanako had had to deal with it, the worse it was getting.
She needed to know. She had to know. Without knowing, she'd never get to move forward and have her life with Haruna. In order to find out, it was beginning to seem like the only way was going to be to confront Hinami. But could she do it? Could Kanako have such a conversation with someone who was innocent and might not even realize what's going on? "Something about that just feels wrong," Kanako thought.
But, little did she know that the girl sitting ahead of her was thinking nearly the same thing she was. Hinami Yamane, for all her shyness and lack of confidence, had made a decision. She was going to talk to Kanako. It wasn't out of any sort of malice or desire to confront, but rather, she just wanted to be friends. At her core, Hinami was a genuinely nice person who just liked to be happy. She lived with no ulterior motives. She didn't pick fights. All she did was live her life in a way that brought her joy and contentment. In order to continue doing that, she wanted to resolve whatever issue there was with Kanako.
Even if the number of friends Hinami had was few, she treasured them very much. The fact that she had gotten the opportunity to make friends with not only the girl she looked up to, but also a girl like Chiyo as well, was something she thought of as a blessing. The trip had been so much fun, but there was one thing Hinami was sure of: if she had managed to befriend Kanako right from the start, it would've been even better.
Whatever it was about Hinami that bothered Kanako, she couldn't say. She was hardly a person even worth mentioning in her eyes, let alone being a person for someone to dislike. Yet somehow, Kanako had found something, and Hinami wanted to know. What had she done to upset a girl she had never met before now?
In one seat, Kanako sat with a growing desire to confront this feeling in her heart. In another seat, Hinami grew ever-more sure of her desire to talk to Kanako. Both girls's determination continued to grow, and before they knew it, the three hour journey had passed, and they had arrived at Shirahige Falls.
*****
Once they all arrived, the students proceeded to get off the buses. Immediately, complaints about the temperature sounded off. Many wondered why they were stuck outside in the middle of nowhere, but they had no choice except to follow the guidance of their teachers to their destination. Of course, among the students wishing to be inside instead of outside was Michi.
With her were her group mates, who all seemed to be in high spirits. Compared to herself, Michi viewed them as pretty energetic, but she was still surprised that they were going strong even on day three of the trip. "Seriously, how do they keep up that energy?" she wondered. Although, she did think she might know why they were in such a good mood. Last night, Michi had said she'd introduce them to Chiyo, and for some reason, they were all really excited by that.
Not long after everyone was off the buses, they bombarded Michi with questions. "Hey, when can we meet her?" "She's around here isn't she?" "I can't wait!" "C-Calm down you three!" Michi cried. She had no idea how to handle them. "It's just one girl. What's the big deal?" she wondered. But, as she thought that, she spotted Chiyo's side ponytail in the crowd.
Thinking about it, Michi was pretty sure she had never been the one to call out to Chiyo. Of course, that mostly had to do with trying to keep her distance from the gal, but now that they had spent so much time together, it almost seemed odd that their relationship was so one-sided. Then again, Michi still wasn't sure what Chiyo was to her, so maybe it wasn't so odd. Either way, the opportunity was there in front of her now. She opened her mouth, but no words came out. Then she tried again, but nothing happened.
Before she could figure it out, Chiyo turned and saw Michi. Naturally, she bounded over to her. "Heya Mi-chan!" she said happily, then she leaned in close to Michi's face. "See somethin' ya like?" "L-Li- No! Of course not!" Michi yelled in protest. She found herself feeling irritated, but this time, it was with herself. "Why couldn't I just call out to her?" she thought.
Behind Michi, three other girls huddled together nervously. Realizing what was going on, Michi gathered herself, then faced her group. "Well, you asked for this, so here goes," she said. "Everybody, this is Chiyo." Noticing she was being introduced, Chiyo grandly stepped forward and stood right in front of the other girls with a beaming smile. "Hey! I'm Chiyo! Chiyo Wakabayashi! Just call me Chiyo!"
After a moment of shock, the other girls began to introduce themselves as well. "Oooh, so you're Mi-chan's group members? Thanks for taking care of her for me!" Chiyo said. "Who said it was for you?!" Michi yelled, but she was ignored. "It's nice to meet you," one of the girls said. "Honestly, we were all a little nervous, because, y'know, there are all those rumors… but I'm glad that you just seem like a nice girl." "Aw, geez, really? Eheheh," Chiyo said, looking a little embarrassed.
"Yeah, you actually give off a totally different vibe than what I imagined. Kinda like a big sister!" one of the other girls said. "It really is good to meet you in person Wakaba-" Before the third girl could finish, Chiyo sprang in right up to her. "Chiyo! Chi-yo!" she said, correcting the girl's mistake of saying her last name. "R-Right. Chiyo," the girl said, a little surprised by the gal's actions. "Alright, alright. Knock it off. You're going to freak her out," Michi said, pulling Chiyo away. "Hm? What's this? Are you jealous that I'm so close to another girl Mi-chan?" Chiyo joked. "Jealous?!" Michi shrieked. "Why the hell would I be jealous?!" "Why indeed," Chiyo cooed. "Ugh, I've had enough! I'm going!"Michi announced. "Ah, wait up Mi-chan!"
As the two girls headed off to follow the rest of the students, they left the other group members behind. "...So, is it just me, or do they seem like they get along really well?" one girl finally asked. "I know right? Like, I don't think Fukuhara-san was being honest, because they're super-friendly," another girl added. "They almost seem like they could be more than friends," the last girl commented. But, as none of them could know for sure, all they could do was shrug and trudge along behind everyone else.
*****
When the students all reached the Shirahige Falls, they were met with several sights. The first was the bridge they were standing on. It was long and wide enough that an average-sized car could fit through. It spanned across the valley it hung above, and all along its length was a black railing and large, gray steel beams that formed a repeating pattern of triangles. Finally, with it being winter, the entire structure was covered in snow, causing the beams to shine brightly and the railings to stand out even more.
Below the bridge was the valley. Within it were plenty of trees, each one having its branches coated with snow. The scene itself was already picturesque, but neither the valley nor the bridge were the main feature. Within one section of the valley, there was a spot were water flowed out. While the name of the place was the Shirahige Falls, it was hardly what one would expect of a typical waterfall. It wasn't gallons upon gallons of crushing water, nor was it a huge sheet pouring down. Rather, it was more spotty and you could see every individual stream of water as it ran over the rocks. The falls were simplistic in nature, and during most of the year, this was all people saw.
However, during the winter, they transformed. The Shirahige Falls freeze over, creating huge icicles from the streams that then hang high above. They span across the entirety of the falls, and just underneath them, water will continue to flow. All of it lands in the river that winds through the valley below, and with it's cobalt blue color, it stands out vividly in contrast with the snow and ice surrounding it.
A lot of students had been complaining earlier, but they were now silent as they took in the sight. It wasn't enough to satisfied them completely, but it seemed that the falls had at least managed to capture their attention.
Among these students was Hinami. She stood and stared down at the valley below, taking plenty of pictures with her phone. But, as she did so, she kept wondering when the perfect time would be to talk to Kanako. Realistically, she knew there was no such thing as the "perfect time," but she wanted to come as close as possible. This meant no interrupting her time with Haruna, or if she seemed otherwise occupied. Naturally, this created a very small window of opportunity for Hinami.
Looking around, she spotted Kanako and Haruna at a spot on the railing not too far from her. They were talking and seemed to be having a good time. "Well, then maybe I should wait," Hinami thought. After all, she would feel terrible for ruining a moment between the two just so she could talk. "Endo-san said she's in love with Kana-chan. I shouldn't bother them when they get to spend time together like this." Although, Hinami also admitted to herself that it was possible they'd be with each other the whole time, in which case Hinami would never get the chance to talk to Kanako. "This is turning out to be harder than I expected…"
*****
After about an hour, the teachers had the students climb back aboard the buses. They had enjoyed the view of the Shirahige Falls at first, but after a while, they were focused more on the cold. Their next stop was another outdoor location, and only five minutes away too, so the teachers decided to let the students thaw out on the buses first before heading to the next place.
"Those falls were like, soooo pretty!" Chiyo squealed. "Yeah, they were," Kanako said absentmindedly. "Hm? Somethin' on your mind Kana-chan?" Chiyo asked. Kanako didn't answer. As it turned out, Chiyo was right. Kanako definitely had something on her mind. Mostly though, that something was her feeling toward Hinami.
While at the falls, Kanako had actually gotten to spend the whole time with Haruna. They had admired the scenery together and just talked like usual, but it felt more special than normal to Kanako. Maybe it was because they were on a school trip. Or maybe it was because she hadn't been able to spend as much one-on-one time with Haruna on this trip as she would've like. Either way, the falls had turned into a nice memory for Kanako. However, that feeling still lingered.
Unfortunately, Kanako didn't have much time to think about it, as only a few minutes later, the group arrived at their next stop. The buses had traversed down a winding road, surrounded by trees on either side. When they finally pulled into a parking lot and let the students out, the students still had a little walk ahead of them. Along the way, there was a sign that read, Tokachidake Bogakudai Observation Tower.
Although, when everybody stopped, it was a little confusing. After all, the part of the name calling the place a tower couldn't have been further from the truth. In fact, the entire area was just one big, flat circle of a snowy dirt mixture, and of course, it was firmly on the ground. But, while the tower part wasn't true, that did little to affect the visuals of the surrounding area.
The space was not flourishing with forest, but even with its more spread-out trees and bushes, it was still a nice view. Still retaining some of their color, the greens, yellows and oranges clashed against the white winterscape. And then, behind all of that, was a mountain range. It stood tall in the distance and reached high into the sky, determined to show its majesty. Certainly, with the sight before them, no person could deny the beauty they saw.
With their being so much space, the students were able to spread out and take in all of the angles available. It was then that Haruna and Kanako were apart for a moment, and it was in that moment that a certain girl spoke up. "U-Um, K-K-Kana-chan?" she sputtered. Turning around, Kanako saw Hinami standing behind her. "Um, y-yes?" Kanako asked, surprised to see her. Throughout the trip, the two had yet to be entirely alone together.
Taking a breath and then giving herself a little fist pump, Hinami gathered her courage. "C-Can we talk?" "Uh… sure…" Kanako said, agreeing tentatively. She had been thinking about approaching Hinami herself, but now here the girl was, coming to her instead. So, the two of them went off to the side of the "tower."
"I-It sure is a beautiful view huh?" Hinami commented. "Yeah, it is…" Kanako said. It was obvious Hinami was suddenly stalling. For some reason, even that bothered Kanako, so she took a more aggressive approach. "So, what did you want to talk about?" she asked. Hinami jumped. "Oh, r-right…" she said, as if she had forgotten. She looked nervously at Kanako, worry streaked across her face. Then she looked back at the mountains. She fidgeted, her fingers curling around each other, and she shifted uncomfortably. Finally, she turned back to Kanako.
"U-Um, s-so, uh….the thing is… I, um… w-well, y'see…" Hinami sputtered again, making Kanako more irritated. "I-I… I was wondering… um, Kana-chan d-do you… do you hate me?" When Hinami finally managed to get her question out, it felt like a bombshell had been dropped on Kanako. "Hate her?" she thought in shock. "There's no way I'd hate her!"
It was impossible. Even if Kanako had unnamed feelings about Hinami, she knew it wasn't hate. Hinami was nice, and Kanako really did want to be friends with her. But, it was clear that the feeling bothering Kanako had shown more on her face than she had realized.
"I-It's just," Hinami continued. "Y-You seemed to be g-glaring at me a lot, a-and, I just got the feeling t-that you don't like me." Kanako couldn't take it anymore. "No, of course not!" she exclaimed. "Why would I hate you Yamane-san?" "B-B-But," Hinami said. "Y-You always… seem like you don't want to b-be around me."
Kanako's eyes were wide. Her previous feelings of irritation had been blasted away. What Hinami was thinking was the last thing she had wanted. "If I'm going to clear up this misunderstanding, I need to explain," she thought. So Kanako took a breath to calm herself, then spoke. "A-Actually, there has been something bugging me," she began. "But, I don't know what it is." Kanako turned and looked at Hinami. When she saw the girl giving her full attention, Kanako explained further.
"It's just… when I see you with Haruna, I… don't like it. I hate seeing the two of you together. I want it to be me instead of you. I don't like that this feeling I get makes me feel so sad and bitter. I don't like that I get this stabbing pain in my chest. I just want it to stop."
Listening quietly, Hinami understood. "K-Kana-chan," she said. "I-Isn't, um… isn't what you're feeling… w-well, it sounds a lot like jealousy." "...what?" Kanako uttered. Jealousy? Was that really it? Could something like jealousy really be that painful? In the past, Kanako had been jealous before. She had been jealous of Haruna's athletic ability, and she had envied the things that other kids her age had. But, this time, it felt different. It was stronger, meaner, and made Kanako feel awful. Was it because it was connected to love? "That's... probably why," she thought.
In the time that Kanako had been in love with Akio, she had never felt jealous once. It wasn't because she was incapable, but rather, because there was no point. She had been so certain that she and Akio would be together in the future that she never even worried. But now, things were different. Being in love with Haruna brought about all kinds of new feelings, both good and bad. Having something like her being jealous being pointed out to Kanako felt a little silly, but it also helped to serve as a reminder that there was still a lot about her own heart she didn't understand.
"I-I mean, t-that's just what it sounds like to m-me!" Hinami said frantically. "I-I could be wrong!" "No, you're right," Kanako said, admitting her fault. "That's what this is… this whole trip, I've been jealous of you." "O-Of me?" Hinami repeated. "Yeah," Kanako said. "When I heard you were Haruna's number one fan, I got worried. I thought 'what if she's more than a fan?' And when I saw you two get close so fast, it just got worse."
"H-Hey, Kana-chan?" Hinami said. Kanako stared at her. "S-So, um, y-you're in love with Endo-san, r-right?" Stunned, Kanako took a step back. "How did you-" she began to say, but Hinami cut her off. "E-Endo-san told me the whole story last night. A-And, seeing how y-you're acting… I don't know, I-I guess it just makes sense." "Ah…" Kanako let out. "Geez, I feel like you're reading me like a book Yamane-san." Hinami laughed.
It was quiet for a moment between them before Kanako spoke again. "Do you think it's weird?" she asked suddenly. "What?" Hinami asked. "W-Well, you know about how Haruna feels about me… and you already figured out how I feel about her… Do you think it's weird for two girls to fall in love with each other?"
Hinami gave it some thought. "Um, I… I don't think so. See, I believe… that people should do whatever makes them happy. As long as what you're doing brings a smile to your face, then you're living a good life. I-I know that sounds a little naive, b-but it's what I believe. So, i-if loving Endo-san is what makes you happy, then that's all that matters."
There was still one last question on Kanako's mind after that latest answer. "Hey, Yamane-san," she said. "You're not… in love with Haruna, are you?" Surprisingly, Kanako got the most clear response she had ever heard from Hinami. "Nope!" she declared. "I just think she's really cool!"
Finally, it felt like a weight had been lifted off of Kanako's chest. She finally understood how she had been feeling jealous, and she even knew for certain now that Hinami was Haruna's fan and only that. Taking in a deep breath of fresh air, Kanako let it out and then faced Hinami. "Yamane-san," she said. "I'm sorry for being so rude to you." "I-It's fine. N-Now that I know why you were a-acting like that, I feel better too. I-It's good to know you don't h-hate me!"
"Hey, Kana-chan, Hinami-chan! Come over here!" Chiyo called from a distance. "Guess we better go," Kanako said. "Y-Yeah," Hinami agreed, but before they left, she had one final thing to add. "K-Kana-chan. N-Now that I know how you feel about E-Endo-san, and after seeing how h-happy just talking about you made Endo-san, I-I can say that as her fan, I'll be r-rooting for the two of you!" Smiling, all Kanako could say back was, "Thank you."
As they walked toward Chiyo, Kanako also agreed to start calling Hinami "Hinami-chan," instead of "Yamane-san." It felt like they could really be friends now that the air was clear around them. When they reached Chiyo, they were both talking happily with each other. "Hm? You two seem like you're in a good mood," Chiyo commented. "I-It's just great to have more f-friends!" Hinami said, a smile on her face.
As it turned out, Chiyo had called them over to take some pictures. First, she made sure to get Haruna. "Pictures?" Haruna repeated. "Yeah, now come on!" Chiyo said, pushing the girl along. Then she grabbed Michi, who met her with much resistance, and she also got Jasmine, Mayu and Itsuki. "There!" Chiyo said proudly. "Alright everybody, picture time!"
Down the list they went, getting all the pictures they could with the mountains in the background. There was one with Chiyo, Haruna and Jasmine, one with Chiyo, Haruna, Hinami and Kanako, and of course, Chiyo managed to wrangle Michi into her arms. The picture of the two of them together looked a lot like someone trying to handle an angry cat. When the photo shoot was finished, it was shortly after that that it was time for everyone to go. This would be the last stop of the trip, as all that was left was one final night at the hotel before leaving the next morning.
*****
The final place was nothing special. It was an American restaurant in the area, serving the classic burger and fries combo, along with hot dogs. The outside of the building looked a little like a church, but all of the signs in the windows and bustling inside helped to dispel the idea that it might really be one. The inside was large too, with its wooden floors and beige walls, containing lines of windows here and there. Overall, the design fell perfectly into what they had seen in Sapporo.
After going through the line and getting their food, Chiyo, Haruna, Hinami and Kanako all sat together at a table. "Let's eat!" Chiyo said, digging into her burger. "Mmm! So gooood!" The others followed suit, and they were all quite pleased with the taste. "Kinda weird that a burger joint is way out here though isn't it?" Chiyo commented. "I thought that too," Haruna said. "At least it's good," Kanako pointed out. "Totally! It would've been so disappointing if our last stop was a bad restaurant!" Chiyo said.
As the girls sat and ate, their conversations began to split. Haruna and Chiyo were talking among themselves, and it was only after a while that they noticed Hinami and Kanako doing the same. "It looks like they're finally getting along," Chiyo said warmly. "So you noticed too?" Haruna asked, referring to the two girls' constant exchange of glances and glares. "Of course I did. But y'know, all's well that ends well," Chiyo said. "Yeah," was all Haruna could say. She was happy to see Hinami and Kanako talking like friends. After this trip was over, Haruna wasn't sure how much she'd interact with Hinami, but she hoped they'd still be friends. But, that also meant Hinami being around Kanako more, which Haruna wasn't sure would work. However, now that they seemed to be friends, her worry was for nothing.
The last day of the school trip was coming to a close. Some students had managed to make great memories, while others had terrible ones. For the good, they'd carry it with them forever, and for the bad, they'd hope to leave it in Sapporo. Whichever the case, one thing was clear. Tomorrow, the second-years would be returning to Iwanai.
End of Chapter Fifteen.
每周推薦票狀態
-- 推薦票
榜單 
-- 推薦票