章節 33: Broken heart
After a while, Mom walks in the front door. She doesn't bother me. Doesn't acknowledge me. I stay in my room for the rest of the night. I let Shawn out at one point and he stays out. He needs his litter box and food. I end up falling asleep until dawn.
I sit up in a strange place. It's the edge of a cliff with a sea by it. I'm not falling, but I stand up and walk away from it. I see a house farther away in the distance, but not too terribly far away. I decide to walk towards it.
I reach the little yellow house and peer in a window. There's someone in there, but I can't tell who. I step away from the window and notice I'm at the back of the house.I walk to the front of it and knock on the door. I hear someone coming.
"Well hello Grace," It's Laureen and her sweet voice. "I've been expecting you." After she says that, her words and voice twist in a sinister way, then go back to normal. "Come in, come in." She urges me in, so I don't think twice. I enter the house.
"Come," she urges me more. "sit down next to me." She gestures to a cozy little couch and we sit right next to each other.
"So," I pop the question. "you were expecting me?"
"Why yes," her voice is bubbly. "I couldn't wait to see you." her voice turns warped at the end of her sentence, then returns to normal.
"Do you know why I'm here?" I ask.
"Yes, I do," she responds. "but I can't tell you why. You have to figure that out for yourself." Her voice stays normal then, but don't get what's going on.
"Why can't you tell me?"
"Silly Grace, I can't make decisions for you. I can't make you preform action. You have to do things yourself sometimes. Even if you want to or not." Again, the last sentence is warped, but only for a second. "We don't get to choose everything in life. We have to accept the facts sometimes."
"Yeah, I know. But sometimes it's hard to accept things. You know?"
"Well yeah, but it's not about being hard with you all the time. It's just that...how do I put this? You're more...scared! Yeah, that's the word. You're scared of facing the truth. Like when you came out to your friends. They didn't react well."
"You know about that?"
"Not really. But you'll get why."
"Well, what am I not accepting?"
"You think you accepted it, but you haven't. I mean, it'll take time, but you don't see that."
"I mean, I've already faced the fact that I like you," oddly enough, I don't stop myself.I don't question it. "but I just met you."
"And that's ok. It's ok to be into someone you just met. It's happened to me before. But still, I know what you're scared of."
"And that is?"
"Her." She points to a closet. I walk over to it, and open in. Nothing. I get in it and look closer. Nothing. Then I turn around.
My mother. She's staring at me, crazy enough to kill me. Is this what I'm scared of? But why am I being told this now? Didn't I already know? Or...did I not accept that I was scared.
Nevertheless, my mom mutters only a few words. "You gay bitch." Then something happens.
My chest, it opens up. My heart goes floating out. She grabs it and crushes it to bits. She...broke my heart? But I don't care if she doesn't accept me...right?
However, right when she crushes it, it hurts. But fades away. Then I jolt up out of my bed to the sound of my alarm. It was just a dream. But what it mean?
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