章節 5: Part II, Chapter I - The Missing Sock
I entered the office of my boss carrying my bag to tell him that I was resigning from my position. I did not bother the paper work
"I just didn't think it would be this crazy and I lived in this town since I was a lad" said I. "If I was to die then it would be for someone I love, not a hallucinated flock of sheep"
"And, do you love anyone?" asked the boss
"No" I answered "I find love as a distraction"
"Well, love is in the air" he said with confidence, waving his hand.
I immediately took out my spray can of insectocide and started spraying the air upon hearing that sentence.
"Do you always bring that spray can?" he asked covering his mouth and nose from the smell.
"I bring a lot of stuff incase of an emergency" I said as I pulled out a small container of chloroform "Look, this is incase I become a criminal"
"Give me that" he confiscated it "You have only solved one case and you're already quitting?"
"It wasn't was I expected"
"Nothing's ever as you expect, there's always something to surprise you. Who knows? If you stick around maybe your next case will be better?"
I thought about it for a second.
"Okay" I broke the silence "I won't resign"
"I'm not forcing you to do anything, though. Final answer?"
"I'll give it another chance!" I said in confidence with my body straight.
"All righty then!" Said my boss "In fact, a new case just arrived for poor stupid Jerome over there. Would you be kind enough to take it for him as he said he doesn't have enough skills for it?" he placed a file on the desk
"Sure" I opened it and found a letter and two photographs. They were the photographs of orange socks.
"This one was taken last night" my boss pointed out before moving his finger to the other photograph which was one of the pair missing the other "And this one was taken this morning"
"Oh," I exclaimed "Another sock missing its pair? One of the greatest mysteries of all. Now I see why Detective Jerome said it was too advanced for him." I took out the letter
"It has happened to me." It said "I have fallen victim of losing a sock. Please come to me ASAP. I live in 27 Bread st. "
"I shall be on it" I remarked "I might also need a companion. A sane one who knows what he-slash-she is doing"
"Very well" said my boss "I shall assign you with the only detective available for companionship" He grabbed a piece of paper and wrote something. He revealed to me that he was assigning me to Jane Surname. My eyes widened and my smile disappeared.
"What's wrong? She was your companion on the case of the missing flock of sheep, was she not? Don't worry, I didn't say 'Permanent' "
"There's nothing wrong" I claimed. But obviously it was not true.
"Well, even if you didn't like it you'd still have no other choice for a companion, anyway. Goodluck" he smiled. When I exited the office I headed straight to the office of my new temporal companion. She saw me through the glass stall walking towards her.
"Let me guess" she said "I'm your new companion for you have no choice"
"It's only temporary" I answered with a pale face.
"C'mon" she led the way outside while smiling and so I followed. I told her about the case in the backseat of a taxi taking us to 27 Bread St.
"Don't amputate anyone's leg this time" I ended the briefing.
"I'm not promising, but i'll try" she answered.
We reached the house about an hour later. The owner of the missing sock sat down on the dinner table with the remaining orange sock still on the floor, untouched since morning. She wore casual clothes of the color red, her pants, however, were of a darker color. Her eyes bloomed yellow and she had a breath that smelled as gracefully as the flesh of an unhygienic hobo named who lived in a house made of manure.
"What's your name?" I asked
"Sophia Archie" She answered. My companion, enjoying the breezing wind produced by the electric fan, coughed in a dry manner.
"Are you certain you didn't eat the other sock?" she asked as I patted her back.
"Continue" I asked Sophia "Also, take this mint. It'll help grab my attention" I took out a small container of mint candy and handed one over to her. She ate it and asked for another claiming that she liked it.
"So, this morning," said she "My alarm clock woke me up by six, I quickly turned it down and told it to give my five more minutes, Next, I woke up at eight. After breakfast, I saw the remaining orange sock on the floor with no knowledge on why or how"
"And when did you last use your pair of socks?"
"Yesterday, I went shopping for clothes"
"Did you go shopping for toothpaste and toothbrush?" My companion asked
"Shut your yaps!" I demanded. Sophia showed no sign of being offended. "Please, continue"
"Then I went home to wash my dirty garments and the pair of socks. Next, I placed the pair of socks on exactly where I lost the other one this morning. That's it"
"Allow my companion and I to do a search around your house"
"Go ahead, just be careful going upstairs, my cat always rests between a step"
I took out a chalk and drew a circle between the orange sock and me. My companion took a closer look at the sock. Sophia watched me crawl across the floor, sniffing, and looking at the tiniest detail on the walls and utensils, her basket rested with different kinds of fruits such as oranges and grapes.
"Sophia" I broke the silence "How was the Cereal?"
"It was delicious" said she "How did you know?"
"I see your container for spoons and forks contain seventy forks, and sixty-nine spoons" I remarked "The average houseowner in this Town, especially when they live alone, always has an equal amount of spoon and forks, that is, seventy forks would be mirrored with seventy spoons. You only have sixty-nine spoons as of now because you used it and this one bowl right here is the least dried because it's the only one that's been used and the only one you needed to clean when you did the dishes, but the spoon is missing"
"But, how did you know it was Cereal? There are other edibles that don't require a fork such as soup or a bowl of ice cream"
"Well, according to the least dried bowl, you did the dishes after eating breakfast a few hours ago. Would someone who isn't sick drink soup for breakfast?"
"Yes" my companion remarked "Not all people are the same, idiot"
"Moving on" I turned to Sophia "I would like to see where you stored the socks"
She escorted me and my companion to her drawer of socks, it was arranged accordingly to colors of the rainbow. There was space between the red pair and yellow pair.
I examined the drawer and told Jane to be useful and see what could be under the drawer.
"Okay" She said before doing as I said.
"I'm sorry" said Sophia "Are you a boy or a girl? I mean, you sound like a girl but you look-"
"I'm your worst nightmare! I feel like that's obvious" Jane cut her off
"She's not kidding. Can we please get on with the case?" I cried "I would like some coffee, it helps me think. Sophia, we'll get to you as soon as my companion and I visit the coffee shop an hour away by car. Got any cash?"
Sophia went to her purse and pulled out a wallet.
"Nevermind, you have none, I will use Jane's money"
"I didn't say anything" Sophia implied
"I can see it from here, your wallet is bigger than my companion's breasts"
"It's also bigger than your damn dick!" Jane sassed back sending me instant karma.
"How'd you know my dick size?"
"I can tell by the measurement of your pants and the fact that your pointer finger is longer than your ring finger"
"That's a fuckin' myth! And this isn't my 'pointer' finger. This is!" I clenched my left hand into a fist and raised my middle finger at Jane.
Sophia looked confuse listening to our inappropriate argument that she decided to go to the bathroom to brush her teeth.
Jane and I talked in the coffee shop about where the other sock could be. I apologized and asked if she was mad at me.
"Wait," Said Jane "we weren't playing 'Roast each other'?"
"We've only known each other for two and a half cases, and I don't consider anyone as my friend. Now, I will solve this case as soon as I finish this cup o' joe mama"
"Bet!" She said
"What?" I asked
"If you solve it with your deductions, I will do whatever the fuck you want and if I solve it with mine, you'll consider me your friend"
"Oh, the game is on!" I said, the first thought that came to my mind if I win is that I will tell her to shut up and only come if I need her. But, I was also ready to consider her as my friend if I lose. I immediately took a sip on my coffee, it burned my tongue.
"Ah! Hot hot hot!" I cried.
"You couldn't deduce that, huh?" said my companion.
"Shut up"
We waited as our coffee cooled down, slowly sipping as it did. We finished our coffee after nearly an hour.
"I GOT IT!" My companion yelled causing the other customers to look at our table embarassing me. Not sure about Jane.
"Are you sure?" I asked
"To Sophia's house and away!" she ran off like a little kid.
"Hey, wait for me, and slow down you just drank coffee!"
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