章節 4: To Love-ru (1)
So! After that embarrassing episode where I woke up with a stray dog licking my face, the rest of my first week in the world of To Love-Ru turned out really great. I was too busy losing the enthusiastic canine and finding a water faucet to wash my face to notice it at the time, but while I walked back home I realized I was very hungry and sore all over my body, even in places I didn't even know had muscles. It wasn't so bad I couldn't walk, though my growling stomach earned me more than a few amused glances, but it made me wonder what happened. At the start I thought it was a result of accessing my inner world and meeting the others, after all when I first heard their voices it was so bad I fainted so it made sense for the whole experience to have more side-effects.
That was until I went to the bathroom to take a shower and saw my upper body in the mirror after I removed my shirt.
I had muscles! And abs! Have I mentioned the abs? Because I had abs: not the famous six pack, but they were quite noticeable.
Now, to be fair to Rito he was fit for a teenage boy: he had a healthy diet courtesy of Mikan and did enough physical activity both at school during P.E. and while playing soccer with his friends. But even with all of that his body could only be described as average.
It was not the case anymore. Before entering the bath I stripped myself naked and spent a few minutes checking my body from all possible angles: I was not an expert, but I could tell my new gains didn't look disproportionate on my fifteen years old self. They were not bulging like some bodybuilders can get, nor they were perfectly defined like a Greek statue. Simply put I now looked like a teenage boy who frequently played soccer and was in the school club instead of one who just played it every now and then for fun. If not for my height and the fact I was still lean I could have been perfect jock material.
Needless to say Rito and I were both happy at the unexpected development and baffled at how it happened. Acting on a hunch I checked my Status Screen, which revealed two new entries in the Subskills list.
[Peak Human Status] Unlocking new people in your head and access to their powers caused your body to change in order to better accommodate them. The bodies of your Avatars are now at the peak of what is considered physically possible for their apparent age. You can still get fat if you don't take care of your health, so cut down on those sweets chum!
[One MP Bar Is Not Enough For Them All] Many of the people in your head had access to a source of mystical power during their lives, and now so do you. Only some types of energy can be folded under the same category, so those who cannot be folded remain separate and can be used independently of the others. Bad things happen if you completely deplete one source of energy, so don't act like a kid on a sugar rush and please be mindful of how you use them. Here's the complete list of different energies you can access:
Chakra: a mix of spiritual and physical energies, using it tires both mind and body. Current attributes are the same as Sasuke Uchiha.
Magic (Heart): a form of energy that originates from either the Soul or the Heart, using it tires the mind. This kind of magic exists independently of both Light and Darkness, allowing even Heartless and Nobodies to use it. Current attributes are the same as Riku.
Magic (Demoniac): a form of energy that originates from the Soul, using it tires the mind. This kind of magic is used by both Demons and Devils, beings who can to give shape to their imagination, mostly in a destructive manner. Current attributes are the same as Laharl and Issei Hyodou.
Dying Will Flames: a high-density form of energy that is refined from the user's life-force and given specific attributes by the metaphysics of the Katekyo Hitman Reborn universe, using it tires both mind and body. Current attributes are the same as Tsunayoshi Sawada.
Chi: a form of power composed entirely of physical energy and harnessed through mental focus, using it tires the body. Current attributes are the same as Ranma Saotome.
Nen: a form of energy similar in nature to Chi, but changed by the metaphysics of the Hunter X Hunter universe to the point the two are considered separate existences. Using it tires the body. Current attributes are the same as Killua Zoldyck.
It was true, after a substantial meal and a good night's rest I felt stronger and healthier than ever, as if I was constantly on some sort of super adrenaline rush but without the side-effects. Not only that, if I closed my eyes and concentrated inwards I could feel something similar to six wellsprings of power flowing into my body and infusing it with boundless energy.
Chakra, Chi and Nen moved through coils or pathways similar to blood vessels present all over my body, while Dying Will Flames felt like a bonfire burning in the back of my mind and the two types of magic, both Heart and Demoniac, felt like lakes located near my physical heart. I was sure my condition shouldn't have been possible even with dimensional travel involved, but then again the whole situation was almost impossible to begin with.
Initially I wanted to rush in and experiment, but at the end I decided to listen to the text's warning and take things slow. After all I had plenty of time and could count on both the memories and the direct aid of the members of what I mentally termed the [Gang], so there was no harm in playing it safe.
Of course, the fact the human being called Rito Yuuki had changed both mentally and physically was bound to attract attention sooner or later.
====
"Holy shit! Rito, what happened to you?!"
I finished pulling my shirt over my head before finally lowering my arms and turning to look at Kenichi, who was gaping and pointing at me in a similar half-undressed state. Along with the rest of the boys in my class, who together with me had gathered in the locker room to change into our sport uniforms in preparation for the next P.E. class.
Yep, I was right in thinking my new gains were not going to fly under the radar. Not that I wanted to hide them or anything, but it required me to provide an explanation once questions inevitably popped up. Luckily for me, Rito and I had plenty of time the day before to come up with a solution.
"You mean today in particular, or in my life in general?" I asked back while trying to not sound sarcastic, and so ended up doing that anyway.
"Not that! I mean, you have muscles! Muscles!" He frantically waved his finger. "How? Since when?"
I pulled one arm free and poked my chest with a finger while looking down on it. "Uhm, I guess they have finally started showing up. And for your other questions, that's actually simple." I put my hands akimbo and nodded in a sagely manner. "A few months ago it finally hit me that, as a high school student, my life was going to be completely different compared to before. More demanding to both my mind and body. My father doesn't know the first thing about taking care of himself and my sister is right out, so I sent an email to my mother asking for help and she sent me back a complete exercise regime. Just simple things really, like cardio, but since they're easy I started doing them whenever I had free time. I was actually wondering when they were going to show some results, guess my efforts finally bore fruits."
If the people of Sainan Town were willing to accept the existence of aliens, bold-faced bullshitting should work just as well.
"Bullshit!" Or not. Cut me some slack, I don't like lying even if it's for a good cause. "If it was true how come I never noticed you getting muscles until now?!"
"I don't know." I crossed my arms and raised an eyebrow. "Do you check me out often?"
As predicted that earned me a punch in the face from a scandalized Kenichi, but it successfully diverted the attention from the origin of my new gains. After all, teenage boys do not like to admit they look closely at the bodies of their fellow males.
====
That said, the same principle doesn't apply to teenage girls. It seemed my improved physique was noticed by more people than just my fellow male classmates, because after that episode I registered a noticeable increase in the amount of attention directed at me from the Sainan High girls, both in my class and the other ones in the same grade. It was likely thanks to my adult perspective that I even picked up on that, but I appreciated it all the same.
At school I often switched with Rito, both to get used to it and to let the guy enjoy our improved body. The first time he commented this is what being a shounen anime character must be like, and I fully agreed with that. Being just a passenger in my own body was a bit weird at first, but then I remembered Rito experienced the same when our role were switched so I quickly got over it.
It also helped that he was willing to share school hours and homework with me, something which I shamelessly took advantage of.
I also let Rito in control when it was time to interact with Haruna, she was his original love interest and future wife so I thought it was only fair. None of us had the intention of letting the embarrassing episodes of the canon timeline repeat themselves, so we both agreed to avoid teenage awkwardness and let our relationships develop at a natural pace, with just a little nudge here and there.
On my part I instead worked on deepening my bond with Mikan. I had a pretty good grasp of her personality thanks to my knowledge of the manga and Rito's memories, and knew that despite seeming like Mikan didn't respect Rito as much as she once did because she surpassed him in maturity and reliability, the truth was that she felt a little lonely since she didn't spend much time with Rito once he started attending high school. To remedy that I started helping Mikan around the house and inviting her to play together games we both enjoy. Pretty simple things really, and it earned me more than a few raised eyebrows from Mikan and her wondering if I was trying to curry favor with her for some nefarious end, but I could tell she was secretly pleased by the change.
Of course, that wasn't the only thing I focused on. Sometime there were unexpected but pleasant events.
====
'What about Yui?' I suddenly thought after the lunch break's bell rang, as if that question was straight out summoned by said sound.
'You mean Kotegawa? What about her?' Rito asked back. Most members of the Gang made themselves known every now and then, but he was the one whose presence I constantly felt close to me. Probably because I was in the body of one of his alternate selves.
'I just remembered she is supposed to go to Seinan High too.' I replied as I picked up my bento (made by Mikan, so all the more precious) and left the classroom to find a nice place to eat. 'But you met her for the first time when you became a Second Year, right?'
'True. We're in Class 1-A right now, while Kotegawa is in Class 1-B. We won't be in the same class until the new semester start. Why do you ask?'
'Well, I wouldn't mind meeting her before that.' I grinned within my mind to avoid being seen as creepy. 'Maybe even tease her a bit. Don't you think she's very fun to tease?'
'...Between you and me? In hindsight yes, she is.' He admitted, but his reluctance sounded forced. 'Even if personally I never felt the urge to tease others, that was more Mikan's thing. And at the time I was too worried about her being mad at me for things completely beyond my control. Do you have an idea how many times I got punished by her?'
'Let's see.' I stopped and began to count off my fingers. 'There was that time when, while selecting the class representative, you got your face pulled into her breasts by one of Lala's inventions. Then that time when that glass-wearing boy pushed you from behind and you ended up groping her. Then-'
'You have a great memory Lee, but only for the weirdest stuff.' He huffed. 'So, how do you plan to meet and tease her? Because I can tell you she's part of the discipline committee even now and won't take well to you trying anything funny.'
'Good question.' Realizing I was in front of the stairs I moved closer to the wall in order to let others students pass past me. 'I was thinking to try to consciously use your lewd powers, see if I can trigger a convenient situation by wishing for it hard enough.'
'Whatever the game system may pretend, because I do not have lewd powers.' Rito insisted rather firmly. 'I don't think things can happen just because someone wish really hard for them.'
'Ah, but you see? The game's description says the nature of your powers is based around manipulating probabilities. In other words, luck.' I explained, feeling completely confident in my answer. 'Which means I'm lucky. And good things happen to lucky people even if they do little or nothing. For example...'
I held out my arms in front of me, palms facing upwards as if ready to get passed something heavy.
'What happen if I wish for Yui to fall into my arms?'
'There's no way it will work.'
"Kyah!" Someone let out a cute, girlish cry above me. I barely had time to look up and notice a mass falling towards me before a body landed into my arms, paper sheets falling down all around me. It was all too very sudden, but thanks to my improved physique I managed to avoid falling down on my butt or dropping the person I was now holding in my arms.
"Hey! Are you alright?" I asked with concern as I turned my eyes downwards, only to end up locking gazes with a very shaken and flustered Yui Kotegawa. For a brief moment I was stuck speechless by how beautiful she was: long black hair that framed her face perfectly, fair skin without a single blemish and tinted a lovely pink just on her cheeks and dark brown eyes that looked made to get lost in. I was no virgin, yet there was just something in the girls of this world that managed to catch me flat-footed.
Maybe that's why I said what followed next. "Uh, what do you know. I guess sometimes angels do fall from heaven."
Did I mention I wanted to kick myself in the balls several times once I realized what my traitorous mouth just said?
'First: holy cow it worked! Second: that was so cheesy I can't believe it came out of my own mouth!' Rito shouted, somehow managing to sound both shell-shocked and absolutely mortified. A sentiment which I sadly shared.
"Wha-" Yui's eyes grew comically large, the blush on her face deepening before her tsundere instincts kicked in. "What are you saying?! How shameless! Unhand me this instant!"
Luckily years of watching anime taught me how to deal with a tsundere. "Sure!" I helped her back to her feet, taking a moment to make sure she could stand on her own before looking at her with concern. "Are you alright? That looked like it could have been a nasty fall. I'm sorry, that was all so very sudden, I swear I wasn't trying to do anything improper." I told her with a polite tone, making sure to bow my head while keeping a hand on its back.
"U-Uh? No, I'm fine." She answered in a more mellow tone, my response having taken the wind out of her sails. "I just tripped, that's all..."
"Really? I'm glad: the most important thing is that you're unharmed." I smiled, honestly relieved that Yui wasn't hurt. If my luck was so effective then maybe actively pushing it to act wasn't a good idea.
Yui looked like she wasn't sure how to react, probably because of all her previous bad experiences with boys. It seriously made me wonder what kind of people she previously went to school with if she thinks all males are insensitive jerks.
'I'm pretty sure part of the fault lies with her brother.' Rito informed me. 'He's a good person at heart, but he can really crank up the whole ladies' man persona. I could tell you some stories...'
That I had to hear. But later: much, much later.
"Ah! The paperwork sensei asked me to bring him!" Finally noticing all the sheets spread haphazardly across the ground Yui knelt down and began to frantically pick them up.
"Let me help, it's the least I can do." Without waiting for an answer I also knelt down and joined her.
"There's no need, I can do it myself." She protested.
"I know, but it'll be faster with two people." I countered her argument with sound logic, one of the weaknesses of tsunderes.
Yui didn't protest any further, and before long we had finished collecting all the scattered papers. I passed over my own share and waited patiently for her answer, knowing it was important for Yui to have the initiative. At least for now.
"...Thank you..." She eventually said, not quite meeting my eyes. "For helping me pick up the papers. And for... catching me..."
"Glad to help." I smiled while nodding. "My name is Yuuki Rito, Class 1-A. Nice to meet you."
"Kotegawa Yui, Class 1-B. Now if you'll excuse me I have to deliver those papers." She briskly said before turning around.
"Of course. Have a good day Kotegawa-san, and please be more careful in the future." I said as she walked away. I waited for her to move out of my sight before looking around: seeing no one I cupped my chin and grinned cheekily. "That went well!"
'You think so? Don't complain to me when she starts hitting you while shouting 'salacious' or 'how shameless'.' Rito argued, and I could just picture him shaking his head in silent disapproval.
I raised an eyebrow. Then, like the perfect picture of nonchalance, I resumed walking towards my original destination. 'Did you know that Kotegawa Yui, despite how much she yells about shameless boys, was one of the girls that subconsciously wanted a child with you?'
'Rea-SHE WANTED WHAT?!'
My lips curved into an amused smile as I sent him the relevant memories of Yui fantasizing about starting a family with Rito.
There were several seconds of silence, enough that when Rito spoke again I already started eating. 'I just realized I didn't know Kotegawa as well as I thought.'
'Most of the girls, at some point in the series, has had some seriously lewd thoughts about you, Rito. You would have been an excellent harem king protagonist.' I told him with sincere admiration and barely concealed mirth.
He didn't have a retort to that.
====
Yeah, that episode definitely proved I had Rito's infamous luck, and since I was more open about my desires it seemed it was not limited to causing improbable groping through unexplained clumsiness. Which was one thing I was grateful for.
Especially since now I was anything but clumsy.
====
"Uuuuooooohhh!!!" I shouted with what I am not embarrassed to admit was childish glee as I pushed with my legs and soared through the air, covering the distance between the two buildings like a home run ball before reaching the next rooftop with such grace my landing barely produced any sound. Not content with that I crouched down and performed a handstand using a single finger, then began to do push-ups using only said digit. "I'm breaking the laws of physics with hardly any effort and it's AWESOME!!!"
'Not really, this is just the result of intense training and dedication. Which you skipped thanks to some magic mumbo-jumbo, but by now I'm used to magic cheating all the time." Ranma grumbled.
'Intense training? Are you aware that most of the stuff your dumbass of a father put you through count as child abuse, right?' Riku's sarcastic voice added. 'It's honestly baffling how you even survived to adulthood without being a crippled mess.'
'I'm just that good.' The martial artist replied with complete confidence. 'And hey, at least Pops never shot me because I failed to wake up on time.'
'Ah ah. To be fair to Reborn it was mostly an intimidation tactic: he was very good at determining what I could dodge or survive and what I couldn't.' Tsuna chuckled.
'Oh, so like that time Pops decided to train my awareness by chucking boulders at me at random times while I slept?'
'And to think I used to consider Ranma 1/2 lighthearted comedy...' Rito commented with a befuddled tone.
I have decided to start training my Skill [Decavirate], because even if it says I can use the skills of the Gang as if they are my own I doubted I could do so perfectly on the first try. At the very least I wanted to test it first with something unlikely to cause widespread damage, like Laharl and Issei's powers. Hence my current selection of 'trainers'.
Tsuna. I wasn't actively channeling him, but we noticed just his presence granted me the Hyper Intuition. It was a passive ability so I didn't need to train it, and having a sixth sense that borders on precognition warning me of possible dangers and bad decisions was a tremendous help. Though Tsuna warned me that the full potential of the Hyper Intuition can only be used during Hyper and Ultimate Dying Will Mode. He also told me that, since both modes required a very heightened emotional state, the safest way to train them was within a controlled environment while having external assistance. Not to mention we didn't have Dying Will Bullets or Pills: Tsuna knew how to create them, but currently I had neither the time nor the materials needed.
Ranma. Using his various martial arts required only knowledge of them and access to Chi, and they were versatile enough that I could use them in almost any situation. To my pleasant surprise it turned out I was not limited to the abilities he showed during the manga: during his long life Ranma greatly expanded his repertory of techniques, and even managed to replicate Herb's use of raw Chi. All of which he was more than happy to show me, but I decided to stick with the basics and work my way from there.
And finally Riku. Mainly for the chance to wield a real Keyblade, but also because I thought a Keyblade user's high-speed, acrobatic combat style mesh well with Ranma's own. Moreover, though he's still tight-lipped about them Riku mentioned he came across a lot of lost lore about the Keyblade Masters of old and was taught many advanced techniques by Yen Sid and Mickey. The only thing I confirmed for sure was that he learned how to manifest a Keyblade Armor, which was something I was looking forward to try.
There was also Rito but mostly he played the part of the spectator, with just some comments every now and then.
Oh, and the reason they knew about each other's past was not just because of the 'sharing memories' part of [Decavirate]. Like Tsuna said the Gang set about exploring my inner world while I went through my daily life and they found a lot of stuff, like a kitchen that somehow always had fresh food, a high-class lounge, a theater with very comfy seats and even a game center. The theater had a vast selection of films and anime, including the Gang's own series, and the game center had all the games that feature them in some fashion. So naturally they ended up spending their free time goofing around most of those places.
Sometime it was hard to remember those were supposed to be old men in a teenager's body.
That is not to say they also didn't find more interesting stuff: many of the giant doors I saw in the distance the first time I woke up in my inner world were featureless, but a few had both a keyhole and a plate with a name above it. The Gang found ten such doors, and all of them had the name of one of the settings they came from. The door with the [To Love-Ru] plate was the only one open, revealing a tunnel that seemed to continue on forever, so we deduced those were the doors leading to their original worlds. They left the decision if and when to open them to me: picking up on the general mood I judged it a matter to consider at a later date, when everyone was more used to our current situation, and they agreed.
"Alright! Let's try the Keyblade next." I jumped back to my feet with a flip and stretched my arms while looking around: it was still night and there was not a single person gawking at me from the streets or from a window, so that was good. "Riku, any advice?"
'Steel your heart. I learned that a Keyblade is a reflection of its wielder's heart first and a weapon second.' He told me. 'Channel my memories to help you, but remember it's your heart which must be strong.'
"Got it, thank you." I took a deep breath, gathering my focus and making sure none of the emotions in my heart was out of control, then once I felt ready I called upon Riku's memories. For a moment the flow of foreign memories was almost overwhelming -a simple life on Destiny Island/meeting with Terra/Darkness/Light- then something just clicked and everything became clear. I opened my eyes and held out my right hand, fingers curled as if grasping an invisible hilt. "Braveheart!"
Light flashed into existence in front of me, taking a sword-like shape before manifesting into the familiar shape of Braveheart. My fingers closed around the hilt, which felt both comfortably warm and a perfect fit for my grip. I swung it to the side to test the weight, the Keychain clicking softly, before lifting it above my head: the light from the moon illuminated the blade from behind, giving it an otherworldly feeling. "Woah..."
I was holding a real Keyblade. Many of my deepest, most secret geek dreams just came true.
'Uhm, how odd.' Riku commented. 'I am holding Braveheart right now, yet I feel its presence both in my hands and in yours. As if it's in two different places at the same time. Very odd indeed.'
"Do you think it's going to be a problem?"
'No, I don't think so. We're moving through uncharted waters here, but I have a good sixth sense for this kind of situations and it's not giving me a bad feeling. Now tell me, what kind of opponents do you expect to face in this world? I mean in the immediate future, not in general.'
I thought about the beginning of the series: the first enemies faced by Rito... well I hesitated to call them such, and they were just doing their job, but that award definitely went to Zastin and his two subordinates. I didn't remember the latter's names, but since I was going to meet them for the 'first' time in the immediate future it was a moot point. "Aliens. They look like humans but have incredible strength, being able to jump very high and throw a car with ease. They're also durable enough to survive being hit by a moving train, and one of them is a very good swordsman. But they're not bad guys, we're going to fight because of a misunderstanding."
'I see. I suppose you want to take them down nonlethally, in that case Ranma's skillset will help you more. If you still want to use Braveheart then I recommend the Sleep spell.'
'If they're aliens their bodies probably work in a different manner, I can't guarantee my knowledge of pressure points will work.' Ranma added. 'But hey, if all else fail we just need to hit them hard enough.'
'I suddenly feel sorry for Zastin. More than usual I mean...' Rito commented.
====
Until, finally, the great day came. The day when everything would begin, and like any story worth telling it started with a naked girl.
"Great isn't the adjective I would use." Rito muttered under his breath with a sigh. I gave him control of our body for the last lessons of the day, allowing me to take a quick nap. He perked up when he caught sight of a familiar girl. "Have a good day Sairenji-san."
"You too Yuuki-kun." The black-haired girl replied with a small smile after looking up from the book she was reading. Haruna has been surprised the first time Rito spoke to her, but now she seemed used to the casual greetings.
"And to think you used to run away while blushing up a storm every time you tried talking to her." I snickered.
'Every time I tried to confess to her. That's different.' He countered as we walked back home. 'So Lee, it's the tenth of May today.'
"Yup."
'What's the plan again?' Rito asked, though he already knew the answer.
"Be a badass." I replied with a cheeky tone.
He rolled his eyes. 'It's not like I'm scared. Just... stage fright I guess?'
"Nah, I understand. Truth be told I'm nervous too." I admitted. "Logically I know I'm going to be fine, I trained plenty of times during the last days and I have you guys to support me. But emotionally speaking it's another story."
'Emotions are tricky like that. I found out it's like ripping off a band-aid: the best moment to do it is when you're distracted. Or in other words: keep focusing on the present and leave the future to the future. What happens happen, worrying too much will just make things worse.'
That was extremely good advice, even if a bit clichè. Didn't make it any less true though, and I was grateful for Rito's support.
Once we were in front of the Yuuki residence Rito gave control back to me. I unlocked the door and started removing my shoes. "I'm home Mikan."
"Welcome back Rito." I found her sitting on the couch, reading a magazine while munching on a bag of chips. "Dad said he's gonna be late again."
"Nothing new then." I understood a mangaka's job was hard, but he could stand to be a little more present in the life of his own children. Both he and his wife were good people, I knew it, but comedy series or not a parent's absence was a very serious problem. Pushing that aside I stared at Mikan with half-lidded eyes. "Don't eat junk food before dinner."
"It's fine, it's fine." She waved me off. "It's just a light snack."
"Just one, uh? Fine, I'll let it slide this time." Approaching Mikan from behind I leaned forward... and poked her where I knew she was ticklish, causing my sister to let out a cute squeal. "But don't blame me if you become chubby."
"W-Who's chubby?! Rito you jerk!" She yelled at me as I retreated, one of the couch's pillow hitting the back of my head.
"Older sibling's privilege~!" I sing-song, enjoying it more than I should.
====
A short while later I was soaking in the bathtub, enjoying the hot water as much as I could since I knew my private time was soon going to get interrupted, and rather explosively at that.
"You're making bad puns in your head now?" I could just picture Rito shaking his head in an exasperated manner.
"Why yes, yes I am." I replied while picking up the rubber duck with really thick eyebrows, squeezing it a few times before putting it back on the water's surface. "Issei?"
"Minato and Rin are keeping him busy at the theater watching Sekirei. Tsuna, Riku and Ranma are waiting nearby. The others are around, I don't know doing what, but I saw Riku walking with a huge popcorn box in his arms."
Good. Usually I don't mind letting the others observe my life, but since I was soon going to see a naked Lala it counted as a private enough time I was more comfortable with just Rito being with me. Plus I wasn't quite in the mood to listen to Issei's appreciation for the female form: I happened to share many of his opinions, yes, but I at least had the good sense to not scream them aloud to the world.
"Uh oh. I think it's starting." Rito suddenly warned me.
Lowering my gaze I saw a lot of bubbles appearing on the water's surface, which were quickly followed by sparkles and a high-pitched noise. I sat cross-legged and prepared myself to act surprised.
A few seconds later all the water in the bathtub exploded outward, as if something very large and heavy was just dropped into it. "Waah?! The tube exploded?" I shouted in surprise, and not all of it was faked.
"Ahhhh~! I managed to escape!" A voice that sounded suspiciously like Asuna from SAO exclaimed in relief. I looked ahead.
And met the most magnificent pair of boobs I have ever seen in my life: they were large enough to fit in my palm, their shape absolutely perfect, while the slightly wet and smooth skin was sparkling under the bathroom's lights. The nipples were a lovely cherry color, and poking out as if begging to be played with.
"Eyes up casanova." Rito snickered loudly before starting to laugh under his breath.
With a supreme effort of will I moved my eyes upward, steadfastly ignoring a growing erection, and met the slightly curious gaze of Lala Satalin Deviluke. Emerald green eyes, long bubblegum pink hair and a heart-shaped face that looked like it was intentionally made to be as lovely as possible: it was like meeting Yui all over again but stronger, and I suddenly understood why mythology was full of stories of wars being waged over a single woman.
"Hello! Sorry to intrude!" Lala cheerfully greeted me, completely unbothered by our shared nakedness.
Very slowly, my body resisting my mind's commands all the way, I raised a hand and covered my eyes. I could tell I was blushing, and somehow that embarrassed me even more. "Hello. Just to be sure, are you an hallucination?"
In case anyone ask, I was completely and utterly winging it.
"Nope!"
"I see. In that case, can we both get dressed and move to my room before continuing this conversation? The bathroom isn't really a suitable place for it."
"Sure, I don't mind! But I don't any clothes with me." She continued in the same cheerful manner. "Oh, I'm Lala, from planet Deviluke. What's your name?"
"Rito. From... planet Earth, I guess. I'll let you borrow some of my clothes." I grabbed the towel I conveniently left nearby, quickly tying it around my waist as I left the tub. Sadly my erection had yet to go away, and there was nothing I could do about it.
"Arousal is a psychological reaction and thus completely normal." Rito informed me before going back to laugh under his breath.
One day I will have my revenge, and it will be legendary.
====
After miraculously avoiding Mikan, probably because I raised less fuss than canon, I found myself in my room together with Lala: I gave her another set of my pajamas, though she complained a little about the shirt being tight around her chest.
Duh. Of course the shirt was tight around the chest: it also did nothing to hide the shape of her nipples, making the task of keep looking Lala in the eyes all the harder.
"So, you're an alien?" I asked her.
"Well, I guess you could put it that way‒from an earthling's perspective." She smiled. I guess in her eyes I was the alien. "Oh my! Maybe you don't believe me?"
"No no, I believe you." I quickly answered. While I didn't mind getting an eyeful of Lala's butt, my erection had just started going away. "I have a good sense for when someone is lying or not. Also, the tail is kind of a dead giveaway." I pointed to the long, thin, dark red tail waggling behind her.
"Uh? Oh that's right, I already took it out!" She put a fist on her open palm. "Oh, but just because I've got a tail doesn't mean I transform under a full moon!"
...Was that a Dragon Ball reference?
...Wait, how did Lala even know about Dragon Ball if this was the first time she came to Earth?!
"How odd, she didn't say anything like that when I first met her." Rito mused. "Parallel dimension?"
'That must be it.' I replied, glad to have tangible evidence I was not in Rito's past but an alternate version of it.
"So Lala, why did you show up in my bathtub?" I continued my line of questioning.
"It's because I used this." She raised her left hand, showing the vaguely bunny-like bracelet around her wrist. "Check it out! I made it myself! It's... Little Boingy-Boing Warp!"
'Please tell me her naming sense will improve.'
"Do you want a pleasant lie or the harsh truth?"
Shit.
"You can't tell it where to send you." Lala continued. "But it allows for short-range warping of a living unit."
"Warping... You mean teleportation?"
"You betcha!" She grinned, obviously pleased at her own invention. "I used it in the spaceship bathroom and it just happened to warp me here, in your bathtub."
"I understand." I nodded. "That leave why you used it in the first place. Was it just a test run to see if it worked?"
Lala didn't answer immediately, a complicated expression on her face. "I'm being pursued." She eventually told me. "I thought I'd be safe if I could make it as far as Earth, but the people chasing me showed up anyway. They had me aboard their ship and nearly managed to take me away. If I hadn't used this bracelet, by now I've might..."
"Lady Lala!" The current conversation was put to a halt by the sudden appearance by a familiar robot flying into my room through the window. "Are you unharmed Lady Lala?"
"Peke!" Lala beamed happily as she hugged the little robot. "What a relief! You got away safely too!"
"Yes! It was fortunate that the ship hadn't yet left Earth's atmosphere!" Just then his spiral-like eyes seemed to finally notice me. "Lady Lala, who's this sorry-looking earthling?"
I was immediately annoyed. "So say the bald midget."
"How rude!" Despite the lack of facial features Peke's voice was quite expressive. "I'm as Lady Lala made me!"
"Ah ah ah! But it's true Peke: you're bald!" Lala pet the robot's head as if he was a dog.
"Lady Lala! Please have mercy!" Peke whined.
"Anyway Peke, his name is Rito and he's the occupant of this house." Lala told him before looking at me. "And this little one is Peke. I built him! He's an universal costume robot."
"I assume the name is self-describing?" I received a nod before Lala started taking off her clothes. I immediately slapped a hand over my eyes: I wanted to be cool, and I couldn't do it with a tent in my pants.
"Now then Peke, if you would?"
"Roger ma'am!"
There was a flash of light. When I opened my eyes again Lala was wearing her iconic costume and confirming Peke got her measures right. "Well?! Isn't it wonderful Rito?"
"You mean the fact the little guy can turn into clothes or your outfit? Because I would say both." I replied, which greatly pleased the pink-haired alien. "Anyway Lala, what do you intend to-"
Hyper Intuition chose that moment to shout me a warning: moving on autopilot my body dived in front of Lala and assumed a battle-ready stance.
Immediately afterward two more figures jumped through the window, revealing themselves to be Lala's bodyguards. I suppressed a wince at the foot-marks left by their shoes on my carpet and focused back on the two Yakuza lookalikes glaring at us.
No, I realized as I felt Tsuna, Ranma and Riku join Rito at the forefront of my consciousness: they were totally focused on Lala, completely ignoring me as if I was a non-factor.
That... pissed me off.
"Jeez, you're a real troublemaker." The blond one drawled. "We should've restricted your movements, even if it meant tying you hands and feet 'til we left Earth."
"...Peke." Lala was clearly irritated. "Didn't I tell you to make sure you weren't being followed?"
"Erm... Yes..." The robot who was only good at turning into clothes replied lamely.
"Arrrgh! You mechanical moron! Everything's totally ruined now!!"
"Sorryyy!!!"
"Now, are you ready to go this time?" Blondie asked before dashing forward and grabbing Lala's arm, startling her.
Only to let go an instant later with a shout of pain when I slammed the flat of Braveheart's blade on his wrist. "I can forgive you stomping all over my carpet. After all you're foreigners and don't know here in Japan we take off our shoes before walking inside private houses." I said with a neutral, calm tone as I straightened up, Keyblade held loosely in my right hand. "But trying to kidnap a girl, and treating her rudely at that?"
I looked up and flashed them a confident, daring grin. "That, I cannot forgive. Now get the hell out of my house."
"Don't interfere earthling!" Blondie shouted as he and the other one, which I'll just call Thug, lunged at me.
Too slow.
I shot to the side with a Chi-enhanced jump, looking as if I just vanished from sight. Upon landing on the wall with both feet Flowmotion activated, diverting all of my momentum into a direction of my choosing without even an ounce of delay: thanks to that I was able to immediately jump back at the two aliens, who I could see where still in the middle of reacting to my sudden disappearance. Channeling more of Ranma and Riku's combat experience I lashed out with the flat of the blade and hit the back of their heads at the same time. That kind of blow was enough to knock out humans and most animals according to Ranma's knowledge, and I calculated my strength taking into account a Deviluke's higher resistance to damage.
Both yakuza lookalikes flew above a very surprised Lala and slammed face-first into the wall behind her: their heads ended up completely buried inside, leaving the rest of their bodies to hang out from the wall like a pair of oversized flags.
Uh.
I guess I overestimated them?
"That was so cool Rito!" Lala closed the distance between us and grabbed my arm, holding up Braveheart as she looked all over it and bombarded me with questions. "I didn't know earthlings were so strong! Where does this sword come from? Are you an inventor too Rito? What else can it do? Can it fire laser beams?"
"Well, I'm kind of a special case." I replied while scratching the back of my head. I looked back at the ruined wall and wondered: how much of my allowance would I need to use to repair it?
"What's going on Rito?!" Mikan chose that moment to open the door and step inside with a worried expression. "I heard a-"
Her eyes widened as she took in the whole scene: me holding a strange-looking weapon, a beautiful girl wearing a bizarre costume hanging from my arms, and two men buried head-first in the wall like in a comedy manga.
"...Nevermind. Sorry I bothered you..." She continued with an even tone as she slowly closed the door, all the while staring at me as if I grew a second head.
"Mikaaaan! I can explaiiiiin!!!"
====
"Wait. Let me get this straight." The next day I found myself walking to school together with Lala. Clearing the misunderstanding with Mikan and moving the two knocked-out aliens out of my home took a lot of time and efforts, but I somehow managed. "Those two were chasing you because you ran away from home?"
"Yep!" She admitted with a smile. "Papa wants me to get married so he kept making me meet one suitor after another. It's so boring!"
"So, those two guys...?"
"They are my bodyguards!"
"Ugh." I hang down my head as if disappointed in myself at the misunderstanding. "Look, maybe it's none of my business but running away from home isn't a solution. Can't you just, you know, talk to your father and tell him you don't want to marry yet?"
"I tried! But Papa is too busy tried to slack off from his responsibilities and don't listen to a word I say!" She crossed her arms and huffed.
Now, why was I being the voice of reason instead of just letting things play in a way similar to canon?
Because I took pride in being a reasonable adult, that's why.
"I know!" Lala snapped her fingers before glomping my arm. Have I said I loved how thin Peke's costume was to the touch? "Let's get married Rito!"
I resisted the urge to shout 'Hell yes!' and merely raised an eyebrow at her. "Didn't you just tell me you ran away from home because you don't want to marry?"
"That's fine! You see..." Letting go of me she took a step back and clapped her hands. "From the moment I first laid my eyes on you I've been in love with you!"
This had the potential to be one of my most happy memories. Except... "I'm flattered, I really am. But tell me something Lala." I rubbed my chin and fixed her with a knowing look. "How much of that is an excuse to not go home?"
"Ergh!" Lala looked like a child caught stealing cookies from the kitchen. "W-What are you saying Rito? I really fell in love with you at first sight!"
"Lady Lala..." Even Peke was able to see the truth.
"Look Lala." I stepped close and put a hand on her shoulder. "I can understand wanting to live your life the way you want, without it being dictated by someone else." Her eyes widened. Yeah I was using my knowledge of canon to choose my words, sue me. "But marriage is not something to be decided so easily. Before that there's dating, getting to know each other and a lot of other things..." I pulled back my hand and scratched my head. "What I want to say is that deciding who you will marry is an important decision, so you shouldn't rush it. I don't mind helping you stay here on Earth if you really don't want to go home for now, so please think carefully before making a decision." I smiled. "Alright?"
'I am an idioooooot!!!'
"It was the right choice." Rito told me.
'Making the right choice suuuuuuck!!!'
"Rito..." Contrary to my expectations Lala was blushing, looking at me in a new way. "I'm so happy. You really do understand how I feel. It's like you said: I want to live my life the way I want. And most importantly, I want to choose who I marry too. So, I have decided!" This time she threw her arms around my neck and fully hugged me, affectionately rubbing her cheek on my chest. "I want to marry you Rito!"
"Didn't I just tell you to think carefully before making a decision?!" I shouted in shock, though in truth her words made me ridiculously happy.
"I thought about it carefully! Just now!"
"Thinking carefully means spending more than a few seconds thinking about it!"
"Good... morning, Yuuki-kun?" While I was distracted Haruna approached me and Lala, and now she was looking at us as if unsure how to react.
"Who's she?" Lala asked, still hugging me.
"...Good morning Sairenji-san." I sighed before hanging down my head. "Would you believe me if I say my life took a sharp turn for the bizarre since yesterday?"
"Uh... I can see that." She replied with some hesitation. "But-"
I would never knew what Haruna was about to ask me, because in that moment a spike of pure, absolute darkness shot out of the ground in front of us. Peering into it gave me a splitting headache for a short instant before I felt Hyper Intuition pulling back into a more general feeling of grave danger.
"Shit!" I heard Riku swore inside my mind.
'Riku?! What's going on?'
"I hoped it wouldn't come to this, but I guess it was a just a matter of time. Get ready to fight!"
More spikes emerged, forming a fence that separated Haruna from Lala and I. "Haruna! Lala! Stay away from those things!" I shouted as I pulled the pink-haired girl away.
"Y-Yuuki-kun?" Haruna asked in visible fear. "What, what is going on?"
The spikes split apart and fell to both sides, creating the impression of a giant maw opening in the ground. And from it...
They emerged, literally clawing their way into reality.
Heartless.
The little imp-like monsters were even more disturbing to look at in real life, being nothing more than three-dimensional shadows that twitched and jerked in a manner that was both insectoid and completely alien at the same time. Most of them were simple Shadows, but I also spotted two Darksides and a group of Magic Phantoms flying above.
'Riku, why are there Heartless here?!' I asked the Keyblade Master as I summoned Braveheart to my hands.
"This world's Keyhole is still locked, don't worry. The problem is that a Keyblade wielder, especially one as powerful as we are, is like a beacon for Heartless." He explained in a hurry. "They keep following the Keyblade's light and eventually manage to sneak into the world where it resides. Sora and I had to deal with random Heartless attacks all our lives."
So from now on the same would happen to me?
...Nothing to do but perform my duty as a Keyblade wielder then. If this was the price for my powers, then I was more than ready to pay it.
"Rito, what are those things?" Lala asked with an uneasy voice, the sight of the otherworldly creatures clearly disturbing her. Even her Peke-like cape looked scared.
"Heartless. They're what I fight." Seeing a few Shadows moving towards Haruna I crouched down into a sprinting position. "Whatever happens don't let them touch you or something horrible will happen."
With those final words I channeled Chi through my legs and shot forward like a bullet. Cutting my way through the crowd of Heartless and dodging magic blasts from both the Darksides and Magic Phantoms I reached Haruna, picked her up by the waist and then jumped away until I was behind a nearby house.
"I'll explain later. For now please hide." I told Haruna before moving back to the battle.
Just in time to see a giant mechanical octopus being destroyed by a hail of dark fireballs shot by the Magic Phantoms. "Ritooooo!!!" Lala flew towards me with tears in her eyes. "I tried punching them but the purples ones didn't even flinched! And now they even broke Little Vrr-Vrr Vacuum! What should I do?!"
"The purple ones are immune to physical attacks!" I told her as I channeled magic through the Keyblade. "You defeat them like this! Blizzaga!"
I swung Braveheart in the Heartless' direction, the blade glowing with a blue light before shooting three massive blocks of ice from the tip. The magical attack hit the group of Magic Phantoms dead on, the ice shattering into a shower of sharp fragments that shred apart the flying Heartless.
One of the Darksides shot its dark homing missiles at me, but I memorized the right timing since a long time ago. I blocked each blast, hurling them back and hitting the second Darkside right in the head. Taking advantage of the brief opening it created I dashed forward and slashed the second Darkside's hands several times before using Flowmotion on a nearby wall to jump on the Heartless' top, where I proceeded to decapitate it with one swift strike.
"Thundaga!"
Massive lightning bolts rained down from a clear sky, vaporizing the remaining Shadows and severely injuring the last Darkside. Before the large Heartless could pull off its desperation move I jumped towards it while spinning like a whirligig, which gave my Keyblade enough force to cleave straight through the shadowy monster.
I landed back on the ground and looked at my surroundings: there were no more Heartless in sight, I couldn't even feel their presence, and the Corridor of Darkness had already closed.
That was... Wow.
"Hey guys! We found a new door: it's bigger than the others and has a console... Uh." Killua's voice trailed off. "What did we miss?"
"Teenage drama, plenty of misunderstandings and an attempted murder." Ranma answered nonchalantly. "Just like back home."
每周推薦票狀態
-- 推薦票
榜單 
-- 推薦票