章節 24: Chapter 24

Shinji Ikari felt his entire body relax in the darkness, giving in to the odd and familiar sense of belonging. As he slowly breathed the LCL that filled the metallic confines of the entry-plug and soaked everything, echoes and whispers seemed to float out to him; things he could not understand but that somehow made it all better. That gave meaning to what he was doing. But, like a mother's cooing to her child, no questions were answered.

Why was he here again? He promised to himself that he would never do it—it was too painful after what he'd done to Kaworu. And yet here he was, ready to once more ride the beast he had never fully understood.

And it felt...nice.

Comforting somehow, as if the Eva could sense his apprehension and responded to it. Shinji knew this was more than just a machine, that there was a more primal and complex connection happening here, but it didn't make sense. There were still so many things he didn't know. And that was why he was so afraid for Rei.

"Main power activated. Initiating neural connections 1 to 78 on the first block," Maya said over the intercom, her voice more serious than Shinji could recall hearing it. "Proceed to second block upon successful completion."

He was a part of Eva—all the pilots were. Together, he and Unit-01 created a unique bond that didn't ever seem possible with other people. For a time Asuka had done so with her Unit-02 as well, and indeed her Eva had seemed to be the only thing that could make her happy. But Unit-00 was entirely unpredictable.

Savage.

"Synch status nominal across the board and holding," said a male voice Shinji recognized as Hyouga's. "Activate second block, connections 79 to 134."

"Clearing primary borderline. All green. Safety checks well within the limits." Another male voice, Aoba's. "All A-10 links enabled."

"Initiating third block connections, neural waves nominal."

Shinji tightened his grip on the main controls on either site of his command seat. He felt tense, his heartbeat quickening. He thought about Rei and how she must be feeling. It would be the first time for her—truly the first time, and knowing what had happened before he had no idea how she could find the courage.

He would be safe here, Unit-01 always protected him; Rei was another matter. It was for her that he decided to break his own promise to himself, and why he was here.

Almost a full minute went by before the sound of the speakers echoed again through the quiet entry-plug.

The darkness inside the entry-plug came suddenly to an end, plunging the cylindrical space into a rainbow of swirling color and quickly resolving into a clear cockpit that became like a transparent window from which he could see the outside world. A warped canopy that corrupted even the light that passed through it.

It was a digital illusion; the entry-plug was buried deep inside the Eva, surrounded by flesh and metal and thick armor.

"Final borderline cleared, connections complete. Synch ratio holding at 81.98 % . Battery enabled, external power nominal. S2 engine secured and inactive. Evangelion Unit-01 has been successfully activated."

Shinji sighed. Small bubbles floated from his lips to the top of the plug. That was that—Unit-01 was now activated for the first time in months. His promise was broken. He eased back into the command seat without really ever becoming aware that he had tensed up.

"Nicely done, Shinji," Misato said over the radio, her voice cheerful. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine," Shinji replied, doing a quick mental check. "Everything feels like it used to."

"We'll take care of everything on this end, don't you worry about anything. Maya's on top of things. Ritsuko is here too. Your job's done for now."

His job was done, Shinji repeated to himself. Not that he ever did anything because the Eva synched to him naturally with no real conscious effort on his part. It worked. It just did. He wondered why it couldn't work the same way for either Rei or Asuka. In the case of the later, it would no doubt do a lot to ease her grief and the heavy feeling of bitterness that seemed to surround her, and in the case of the former ... he still didn't believe Rei belonged in an Eva, period.

And that he was apparently the only one that cared was a source of endless frustration. At least Misato seemed to understand why it was not right, but even she did nothing to stop it. Shinji already knew she didn't have a choice. Like she didn't have a choice about him.

While before he might have a resented for that, now it was so very pointless. Misato did what she could; if she could help it, Shinji himself wouldn't be sitting inside Unit-01.

"Perform routine system check," someone said on the radio, a high-pitched female voice Shinji had not heard before. "Second team, move on to Unit-00. Follow pre-determined safety parameters and report as soon as POST is completed before full synchronization."

"Understood. Unit-00 is ready for POST and reporting."

He anxiously glanced out of the cockpit-like layout of his plug and saw the blue colored Unit-00.

If Unit-00 went berserk, Shinji would have to stop it—no matter what, he would save the pilot. He was very aware of the limitations of the restraint system holding Unit-01 in place and that it would not hold him if he really tried to break out of it, but he was also sure that Misato would likely release him if the need arose.

"Misato-san?" Shinji called out, knowing she was listening to him.

"Yes, Shinji?"

"Can you keep a communication channel open? I want to listen in while Unit-00 is activated."

There was a moment of hesitation on Misato's part, then he heard her say, "Ritsuko?" Whatever the blond doctor replied was not audible enough to be picked up by the microphone, but Misato relayed it instead. "Ritsuko says it'll just clutter up the array. Sorry."

"Yeah, okay," Shinji sighed, a little disappointed.

It was just like Dr. Akagi to want to keep him in the dark. That woman, who he had once liked, had no compassion in her heart. The way she talked to Rei made him sick to his stomach, like she was just a doll to her.

And, of course, Shinji still remembered watching her destroy the dummy. He still has nightmares about that grotesque scene some times—the Rei look-a-likes falling apart in the LCL, her eyes open and staring mindlessly, and he could have sworn he heard laughter.

To think that Rei, the girl he wanted to protect, had come from that place …

On the outside a figure clad in a form-fitting white suit then stepped onto the gantry surrounding Unit-00's ghastly, extremely lanky body. Shinji's attention became intently focused on Rei as she walked to the area where her entry plug had just been inserted into its receptacle behind her Eva's armored neck.

There was a detached airiness to her stride, as if she weren't even there. The quiet elegance of her movements and the slender shape of her young body were both accented by her plugsuit, which fitted her like a second skin. Unlike the severe red color of Asuka's suit or the rather neutral blue-white combination of Shinji's own, Rei's was almost entirely white except for a few accents of green on the harness beneath her breasts and the twin dark gray lines running from her backside down along the outside of her legs.

The suit was pressurized in the sense that it was held in place by a vacuum, molding it to the wearer's every curve. While Shinji had never thought he looked very heroic in his suit, despite being assured otherwise, Rei looked dashing and feminine beyond words, a white angel with blue hair.

Shinji knew how frail she was, too. She may not be his Rei, not Ayanami, but she was still a human being. Somebody had to be her guardian angel. Somebody had to care enough about her that they would risk being hurt themselves or hurting others for her sake and break promises for her.

And that somebody was Shinji Ikari.

That was why he was here, the only reason he had found it in himself to fight the demons of his past and of Eva. He had to protect Rei just as she had done several times for him.

Perhaps it was guilt—in fact, Shinji was pretty sure it was. When had first found out about Rei he had been so terrified of her he cut her off completely from his life. But after months of avoiding her, it seemed like he just couldn't stay away from her. A part of that was no doubt the lingering feelings he still had for Ayanami. Making that distinction between them was almost impossible. Even now, at unguarded moments, he found himself thinking of them as the same person.

That, he knew, was another reason. In protecting Rei, a part of him felt like he was actually protecting Ayanami. He had failed her once, he did not want to do so again.

Shinji would like to think he would do the same for Asuka if she let him, and for Misato if she needed him to. Did that make him brave? He didn't think so. It just meant they were important to him.

Rei stopped at the foot of her entry-plug. She placed a hand on the huge metal cylinder and stood there for a moment. Shinji could have used the capabilities of the Eva to zoom in on her image and get a better look, but decided that it would be like an invasion of her privacy.

She looked behind herself, and for a second her eyes, distinctly red even from a distance, seemed to stare into Shinji before moving away, up towards the window of the control room. Shinji followed her gaze and saw Ritsuko standing there.

Shinji frowned. Was Rei having second thoughts? Was she not ready for this? Was she being forced?

Then, before he could answer any of those questions, Rei turned back and climbed through the hatch of her entry-plug. Into the darkness within.

"I'll be protecting you," Shinji mouthed silently to himself, watching her disappear from view and remembering the night when she had said those very same words to him. "I promise."