章節 8: Lies
"This is not a chapter a day" smacks the hamster, a rolled up magazine hitting the human author repeatedly.
"It's April Fools week?" the author weakly tries.
*smack smack smack*
"Covid-19 makes work too busy?"
*smack smack smack smack*
"This shitty author's trash bin brain cannot produce more during this crisis Mr. Hamster, please have mercy?"
*smack smack smack smack smack smack*
It is no use, the hamster's thrist for violence cannot be satisfied with these sorry excuses no matter how valid they are. This is the fate of a office slave, to waste away with not enough pay.
Respect is a different issue. Can you eat it? But weeb shit with it? No better to sell it for boba money.
"Mr. Hamster if I buy us boba tomorrow will I stop being abused."
"No." *smack smack smack* "Buy boba anyways."
So CC sits there, butt sore from the office chair but unwilling to move. There is no will to move. She should do her skincare because N95 masks are very uncomfortable to wear and leave marks on the skin. Very inconvenient things, safe but inconvenient and painful.
Today the office slave got new face guards and the office installed new glass window panes to separate counters. It does not make office slave CC feel any happier- for her soul has been sucked out to be sacrificed.
The only life force was maybe the sound of a hamster hitting her empty head with the rolled-up newspaper. It sounds like hitting a coconut. Mmmmmm Pina Coladas.
The other day CC sold her overtime soul for a Pina Colada. She flipping worked overtime on a Saturday and all her boss gave her was a pina colada smoothie. How cheap.
*smack*
"Maybe you shouldn't have spent 3k words worth ON THE APRIL FOOLS CHAPTER for only ONE novel!"
"The april fools chapter was a masterpiece." the weak author tried defending.
*smack*
"It was a bad joke."
"It was genuis. You loved it Mr. Hama."
"Only the first part- the part that made readers crap their hooman pants. Fear! Torment! Anxiousness! Yes the great dread! Everything else sucked."
"The New Rose' was great Mr. Hamster- I liked it."
But the April fools chapter for unloved Twin went kaboom boom now. What a shame. All the jokes and Big SMecy-kun AU is now gone.
....or is it?
"You stoopid, you wasted how long on it. It's still in your drafts you pathetic hooooman."
"Oh yeeeeeeah."
"...."
"..."
"Hey Mr. Hamster?"
"No." *smack*
"I didn't even ask anything yet"
"Get to writing- do not post the april fools chapter here as the update" *smack*
"But UT shippers and BIg smexy-kun"
"No" *smack smack smack*
"Curses"
And so CC will continue the Hamster diaries for any bored readers wondering how CC and Mr. Hamster are doing.
The answer is not well. Everyone stay safe and clean and please don't make more work for medical professionals the office slaves right next to the medical professionals.
Also you should wear face masks when you go out but you really don't need a N.95 if you're not working as a front liner.
Bonus points if you wear a plague doctor bird mask though.
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