章節 60: Chapter 31: Kindness (Part 2)
I was in my house. I had run away from the place that disaster had happened in. I had teleported back to my house and locked myself in. It was the house that nobody but me lived in now. The only other resident of this house was dead … killed by my hands.
Kais: "What have I done?"
It felt like someone other than 'I' was in control.
Kais: "This … this is wrong."
Abyss: "What's wrong about it?"
His voice came suddenly. Hearing that, I was relieved … that I wasn't alone. I was relieved beyond comprehension.
Abyss: "You did want to stop him. And now you have stopped him. What's wrong about it?"
Kais: "No, I … I just …"
It was so easy to say I wanted to kill him. It was so easy to say I wanted him dead. But I am sure I couldn't have killed him in the end. In the end, a version of me I am not took control of my body and killed him. And then I was left with the consequences.
Abyss: "I see. I should have understood."
That voice I had been hearing in my head … was so … so sad.
Abyss: "If you are not ready to hold this burden, then I'll let you forget about it."
Kais: "W-what …"
Abyss: "I am at fault here. I should have understood an eight-year-old won't be able to handle killing a person."
Kais: "I … I am …"
I was overwhelmed with guilt. Whether the guilt was for killing Barry or it was for wanting Abyss to go through with making me forget, I didn't know.
Abyss: "Don't blame yourself, Kais. This is not your fault."
He said those words to me as if to comfort me.
Abyss: "This is not Barry's fault either."
He said things to me I desperately wanted to hear.
Abyss: "The one who is at fault … is him … the one they consider god."
He said so.
Abyss: "Tell me, are you okay with forgetting these things."
Kais: "I … I … I …"
Extreme guilt and shame caused my eyes to tear up. I just couldn't hold it in anymore. So I cried. And I sat there crying. That was all I could do.
Kais: "Please, please Abyss; please make me forget all this. Please let me forget all of this."
I begged him for it. I knew there was no need to beg, I knew I only needed to simply ask him, but I just couldn't bare it if I didn't beg him.
Abyss: "You will also forget everything about any other person with supernatural abilities you and Barry had ties with."
He told me that.
Abyss: "That means people like Sona will no longer be in your memories either."
He told me the only thing that could have stopped me from saying yes.
Abyss: "Do you still want to forget it all?"
I was told I would forget about Sona and every other supernatural I had ever met.
Kais: "I-I can't live like this. Please, please …"
But, that didn't stop me from begging for it. My guilt was just too much.
Abyss: "Very well. Just know that you will one day have to remember everything."
He was always very clear with me. He was always trying to not hurt my feelings. He was always trying to help me in one way or another.
Abyss: "I wish I could change things, but I can't. There is just no way for you to not get involved in this war."
I know that the words he said that day were all true. He genuinely wished for my well-being and the pained voice he had was because he was seeing us suffer. Me and Barry both; his pain was because of both of our suffering. The world calls him 'devil' and hates him. They preach Ozyllus, tell tales of how Abyss was defeated by Ozyllus.
And yet, this 'devil' felt so much pain over seeing another's suffering. I had realized by that point that the history was wrong. I had realized that he was being accused of false crimes. There was just no way anything he did could be that bad. And yet, I chose myself. I chose to run away from everything.
Knowing all of that, I chose to forget it all so I didn't have to suffer.
Abyss: "Until then,"
That was it. I would forget about anyone supernatural that Barry and I had ties to as well. I had prepared myself for it, but only then did I realize.
Kais: "What's your name?"
I would forget him too. I would not be able to remember who he was.
Abyss: "Ha! My name, you'll forget it anyway."
He said in a light, gentle voice.
Kais: "Still, please tell me."
Abyss: "Okay then,"
My memories started to erode. Gaps were made in my brain. I was being granted my wish. And I was being dragged back from the darkness to the light by having the light of knowledge taken from me. And on that journey, the voice came to me,
Abyss: "I am Abyss, the demon of chaos."
And I forgot everything.
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But that is all gone now.
Sona: "What do you mean 'he saved your life'?"
I remember it all now. I remember everything now.
Dragon: "He saved your life, did he?"
I look up at the dragon. His expression, his internal emotions all showing reminiscence as he said,
Dragon: "Yes, that does sound like him."
Saving my life – that sounds like the 'devil', huh?
Kais: "If I …"
Their eyes turn towards me.
Kais: "If I were to ever repay you Abyss, what should I do?"
The answer won't come. I now have enough knowledge to understand that he is at a place inside my consciousness that I have locked away. And I now also understand that Ozyllus is there as well.
Dragon: "What should you do to repay him?"
The dragon repeats my question in a tone as if to say that the answer is obvious.
Dragon: "Expose the lies that blacken his name."
Sona: "What lies?"
Dragon: "The very fabrication of history I told you about."
Is that what I should do? Should I get to the bottom of this? Should I remove the dirt from your name?
Kais: "No,"
I stand up as I feel their eyes turning towards me.
Kais: "that is not nearly enough to repay the kindness he showed me."
After having been blamed for every little thing for about 1000 years now, merely exposing those lies that cloud his reputation is not nearly enough compensation for him.
Kais: "I will"
To repay the person who saved me that day,
Kais: "fight in this war."
I said what in my book qualified as repaying him.
Kais: "I'll destroy everything Ozyllus, his sworn enemy, created. I will give him the justice he deserves. And for that,"
My hands are shaking – with anger.
Kais: "I don't give a damn about The Dragon Alliance or The Vampire Kingdom. They can all go burn for all I care."
I said in a voice that is shaking – from anger.
Kais: "I don't care which of them wins the war."
Which side I end up on? That depends on them.
Kais: "But I will CRUSH every single dream Ozyllus has ever seen in HIS ENTIRE LIFE."
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創作者的想法 
Zyanide100
Zyanide100 I wanted to say, for the sake of honesty, that "Kindness" is only the second chapter so far that I have been completely satisfied with.
I felt, for only the second time in the story, that I was able to achieve what I wanted from it. Of these first 31 chapters, it's easily my favorite.
I hope you all liked it too, even if not as much as I do.
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