章節 65: Finding home (3)
The question was so out of the blue that for a few seconds my brain stopped functioning. I have never told Tanya that Fred had feelings for me, but she is stuck on the idea ever since she saw him and Robbie in the restaurant. No matter what I told her, she is fixated on that. Now how do I explain why I chose Robbie? I chose him because I loved him. I bonded with him because I wanted him to be a part of my life, but of course, never did I think such a twist would happen in my life. The reason I couldn't choose Fred, even though he loved me, was because I didn't want to hurt him. I couldn't reciprocate his feelings, and I felt it was unfair to be with him when I don't feel the same for him. I felt he deserved better. How do I explain all this to Tanya?
She was looking at me with wide, curious eyes like a kid. I sighed as I arranged my thoughts,
"Why are you asking? In fact, why do you even think that Fred has anything for me?" I asked Tanya, trying to change the topic.
"Because I am not blind," Tanya laughed lightly, "I can see how Mr. D'Souza looks at you and how his eyes are always following you, just like our CEO. You are lucky, Tony, to have two people who are so in love with you," Tanya said in a slightly bitter tone.
After hearing everything about Tanya and her past, I could understand where she was coming from. Everyone in this world wants to be loved. I was no exception, nor is Tanya. While Tanya might feel bitter about me being loved by two guys, I feel bitter that Tanya could have her parents' love even after being tested as an Omega. It had been thirteen years since I was abandoned. I didn't even have my parents' or siblings' pictures with me. I am starting to forget their faces. I know this empty space of my life can never be filled as parents can't be replaced. Tanya, however, can fill her emptiness.
"Are you jealous?" I asked her jokingly, trying to lighten the mood. After all, it is her birthday, and I don't want to spoil it.
"A little, I guess," she answered, laughing sheepishly, "So, was it because of the bonding with our CEO that you chose him?"
It looked like Tanya was not ready to let go of this topic. I smiled at her and said shortly,
"I couldn't reciprocate Fred's feelings."
Tanya blinked in surprise, "Didn't you think of the possibility that you might start loving him if you spent more time with him?"
"I did, but I didn't want to risk Fred's entire life's happiness over my uncertain feelings. My bonding with Robbie was another reason," I answered, looking at Twen but not really looking at him.
"I told you this before, but you are too good for your own good, Tony!" Tanya sighed, "What about your happiness? What about Twen? Did you really want to spend your entire life alone?"
I burst out laughing. I have thought about it several times but always ended up getting a headache. So, I thought that I would face the future as it comes. Worrying about ending up lonely wouldn't just magically make a guy appear in front of me whom I can love.
"How am I be alone when I have Twen?" I said, partially lying, "The only thing I was worried about was Twen being deprived of a father's love! It's no easy task being a single parent!"
Tanya came to me and held my hand in hers, saying affectionately, "If there was no one, I would have filled in as another parent."
I looked at her wide-eyed. I am not sure what she is trying to say, but it sounded like a confession to me. Am I thinking too much?
"Stop overthinking, Tony. It is not what you are thinking!" Tanya said, a playful smile spreading on her face. "You are so transparent that even a kid would know what you're thinking," she laughed, throwing her head back before continuing through her laughter, "I am not saying I would have married you. I am saying as your friend, I could have simply helped you take care of Twen as another parent."
I wanted to hit myself. What am I thinking? Of course, Tanya meant it in a friendly way. I am such an over-thinker. I quickly murmured 'sorry' to her, but she waved it off, saying it was also her fault for phrasing it in such a way. She let go of my hand and went to sit on the bed. She stretched her hand and gently massaged Twen's forehead, continuing to speak,
"I can tell that both the CEO and Mr. D'Souza truly love you, but I think it is our CEO who needs you more!"
I was smiling at her messaging Twen's head when her words made me crease my brow,
"Need me? I am not getting you."
Tanya looked at me. Her face showed a mix of thoughtfulness and serious expression, "Yes. Dad once told me that there would be several people who will lust for you, very few who will love you, but only one who will find their home in you. I think our CEO has found his home in you."
What does she mean he found his home in me?
I looked at her dumbfounded. She, too, tilted her head and smiled. She continued,
"I am sure you didn't get it. I was just as blank as you when dad told me this, but now, I know what he meant! Have you heard that it is not the four walls that make a home, but it's the people living in it who make it home?"
I nodded, trying to understand where this was going.
"To our CEO, you are that person who makes a home for him. He feels most protected, happy and comfortable when he is with you. That is, he needs you!" Tanya said, smiling at me.
"Wh-what made you think so?" I asked, turning a bright shade of magenta.
Tanya laughed, seeing my expression. She shrugged and said vaguely, "I am not sure, but he seems like a different person when he is with you. The look in his eyes is so relaxed, like he is at peace and happy, like being at one's house, where they feel most at ease!"
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