章節 11: Chance
Warning:- Curses/profanity, mention of suicide and abortion
Robbie's POV
I looked at the letter on my table. Tony was standing before me quietly, looking at me with those firm beautiful eyes. Though he looked nonchalant, I could tell he was nervous. Many called Tony a coward or gutless because he was easily terrified; however, I knew it wasn't true.
I was the true coward. I was scared to take on responsibility for a child even though I was as much responsible for him as Tony. I kept thinking that it would ruin my future, and how it will affect my reputation. I feared that my dad would be furious and mum would be disappointed. Although pregnancy is not one person's doing, I kept blaming Tony for bringing along such a disaster. Most of all, I was afraid that my omega-hating dad would disown me. I was selfish. I did not once think about what Tony would have to go through? What would a pregnancy at 17 entail for him? And just like the coward that I was, I rejected him and left him to fend for himself.
After that kind of treatment, many Omegas would have fallen into depression, commit suicide, abort the child or beg to be accepted or to support them financially but he did none of the above. Contrary to all, he actually went ahead and gave birth to the child, boldly faced the society which was extremely biased to him, went through thousands of hardships to raise him alone.
Coward???
Huh, he was the true definition of Strength.
However, what was done can't be undone. I have hurt him so deeply that he would never forgive me. I know I don't deserve to be forgiven either but I really can't give up. I just want another chance. After all, I had truly loved Tony but I was too blind to see it back then. Like a scared little punk, I thoughtlessly let go of the very person I had given my heart to. Seeing the despair and pain in his eyes when I rejected him made me feel more guilty than I had ever felt before. It haunted me even in my dreams. That day I understood the power of 'words'. His face reflected the betrayal and sorrow I caused him by my words.
I picked up his letter and asked quietly, "I already rejected your email for resignation request. Why did you submit this letter to HR then?"
"Because I am resigning" Tony stated without hesitation.
Only four words and it was already causing me heartache. I dropped the letter in the dustbin and saw Tony's eyes widen in shock. He glared at me
"What do you think you're doing?" he fumed
"Trashing your resignation. I told you I won't accept it" I told him
"What do you want? I told you several times that I don't want anything to do with you" he said gritting his teeth
Those words were hard for me to hear. I know that he doesn't want me, but I want nothing more than him. It was only after I lost him, I realized how deeply I had fallen for him. No matter how much I tried to forget him, it was for naught. I dated several men and women, practically slept with the entire college but nothing worked. In the last year of my college, I finally understood why I am not able to get over Tony. Once the realization hit me, I started looking for him. I wanted to apologize and get back with him even if it meant disappointing my mum and going against my dad, but he was nowhere to be found. He was not in his welfare center or his church. He never went back to his house or contacted anyone he knew in that city. I kept searching for him only to know that he had left the city three years back. I did not know where he went. He could have been anywhere in this country. Where do I look for him? I couldn't help feeling that I had lost him forever yet I kept looking. Miraculously, after searching madly for him all these years, I finally met him in my own resort. How could I let him go when I had finally found him? In the end, I am selfish.
"I want you in my life" I blurted out without thinking
Tony looked surprised. He fidgeted, looking at his feet, mumbling, "Stop all this pretense!! How many times will you lie to me? Was it not enough to hurt me back then that you are doing it over again?"
"Back then, I was 17. I was thoughtless and an idiot. True, that I approached you to escape from my mundane life, but before I even realized it, I fell for you. I know you won't believe me but this is THE truth" I told him earnestly
"If that's true then why did you dumped me? You have given me no reason to believe in you," Tony bellowed, clutching his fist so tight, that he drew blood.
I looked at his balled fist. It had turned white. Shit! He is taking his anger on me out on himself. I got up from the chair and walked over to him. Seeing me approach, he anxiously took few steps back. I held his wrist and pulled him towards the side-shelf. In a trembling voice, he cried out,
"You - you - what do you think you're doing? Stop it. Let go"
From the drawer, I pulled out the first aid box and placed it on the table, but when I turned, he went pale as if I was going to kill him. I gritted my teeth in frustration.
Why was he so scared of me? Do I look like some demon?
"I am not going to hurt you" This was not what I wanted to say, but it came out of my mouth anyway.
I felt his shoulder relax slightly though he still looked shaken. I took his hand, opened his palm, and saw the deep bloody nail marks. He clutched so hard that he had bruised himself. He must hate me a lot! I subconsciously caressed his bruise making him hiss in pain. Hearing that, I opened the first aid box, got some disinfectant to disinfect the wound, and applied an ointment on it. I looked up to see him frowning, his eyes narrowed in disbelief. Those beautiful eyes only show hatred and disbelief for me now. Will it ever look at me with love again? I let go of his hand and said while putting back the first aid box,
"You are a chef. You should take care of your hands that earn you your living"
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