章節 15: Brotherly Love
If it wasn't enough that Geo was in my room just this morning, I opened my door to Zach while I prepared to have dinner with Geo.
"What's this about?" Zach asked while he came in.
"Nothing I can't handle," I replied. I could hear murmurs beyond the door. The whole of Reagan was probably asking why I'd been having one too many guys visiting my room. It was just a matter of hours perhaps that a school administrator sent for me for yet another punishment.
"I seriously doubt that." Zach shook his head. I could see in his eyes that he wasn't convinced and that he was resolute enough to get to the bottom of this circus. "I called Mom. You're transferring to my condo tomorrow."
"What?" I exclaimed.
"I can't allow you to make the same mistake as you did--" he began, but I just couldn't let him finish. I knew what he was going to say, and saying it to me in person, while he looked at me like I had done something wrong again, was something I just wouldn't allow.
"No!"
"Yes, you are, and there's nothing you can do about it! I am your brother and you're going to do as I say," he yelled at me so loud I swore people outside could hear him. "Scott was one case. Matt was another, and that should've been the end of it."
"I won't!" I stomped my feet and pounded his shoulders with my closed fist in frustration. I knew I was acting like a kid, but he had to stop. He had to trust me.
I hated him right now. I pushed him away, and that was all he ever needed to know that I was being my stubborn self – the part of me he had always hated since we were kids. Truth was, I was only stubborn where he was too concerned. Zach had been a huge part of my life that resistance to our bond barely came. I loved being with him and I obeyed, being the younger one. So when I did resist him and his brotherly gestures, he went into fits. He wasn't used to it.
When I was younger, I didn't mine that I was part of a twin and there was this unwritten rule between us that having my own mind and my own life should come a few years after graduating college. I didn't mind it at first. I even found it really entertaining and it added that much needed strength into our brother-sister relationship. Now that I was getting older, I began to hate it.
He pulled me inside the bathroom, where it was safer for us to talk, but somehow I no longer minded.
"And even if I do make that mistake again, you have to let me learn. You have to let me fall on my own and stand on my own and go through pain on my own. Zach, I'm young. And I have to live. I believe I'm smart enough to--"
"Smart?" Zach chuckled, the insult cutting through me more painfully than any heartache I had ever experienced. "You weren't smart enough to figure out you were a fucking bet in high school." He paused and gripped my arm. "And that fucking tattoo!"
I shoved his hand away. "Leave my tattoo out of this."
"And your virginity!"
I gasped. I didn't think he'd have the heart to watch me take those words in. I sat on the closed toilet seat and rubbed my own arms, feeling myself sweat.
Yes, I had made that mistake in high school. Wasn't I supposed to? Was it really that huge a mistake that I wasn't allowed to live anymore?
Zach sat in front of me and held my knees. "Zoey, I'm not the bad guy here."
"You are!" I started shaking, sounding more helpless than I really felt. "You won't let me go, and I'm beginning to feel smothered."
"I have my reasons."
"Yeah, and I'm sure they're reasons I could find out for myself." I stood up, wiping the tears that escaped me. I wasn't going to live with his arms around me always. "I'm not going to move. I'm staying here. I'm going to finish that photo wall with Geo, and I'm going to give Matt another chance--"
"You are not going to date Matt. I know the likes of him. I can't let him play with you. Not you. Not my sister."
I stopped listening to him. I yelled at him, speaking as he spoke. I wasn't going to let him control me. Not anymore. I was nineteen. I could handle myself.
The bathroom door flung open and we both fell silent, realizing we hadn't locked the main door. I gasped, seeing Geo stand with his eyes narrowed. At first, I thought he was just curious. As I stared at his reaction, I realized he wanted to butt in. He had something to say and he was controlling himself.
"What the fuck are you doing here, Estevez?"
"I'm picking up my partner," Geo replied, his eyes still on me. "We're having dinner."
Zach turned to me with accusing eyes. "Who the hell are you really dating? Is it Matt or is it Geo?" Then he turned to Geo. "And you! You don't just barge in on family discussions. Why would you enter Zoey's room without permission?"
"She's expecting me, Anderson."
"I'm staying here, Zach," I whispered, though I knew I didn't fail to show him how firm my decision was. I could call Mom and reason with her. Mom always believed me. Especially Dad.
Zach nodded and let out a ragged breath. He turned, took a few steps to face Geo and said, "You're an asshole."
"I don't mean to be," Geo replied, his voice deep.
Zach shook his head and went out, forcing the main door of my room shut behind him.
"You okay?" Geo turned to me.
"No." I couldn't even begin to describe how bad I felt. I felt sick in my stomach and I walked out of the bathroom for air. Sitting on the bed, I let myself calm down.
"Let's take a walk."
"No." I suddenly wasn't in the mood to do anything. I felt drained of my energy. What was left in me was the pain of knowing my brother didn't trust me anymore.
"Zoey, you know you're overreacting, right?" He chuckled, though I could swear he was forcing it. "Or perhaps your brother is. What's his problem? I've never seen him act like this."
"Nothing." I swallowed hard and lay on the bed. I wasn't going to tell Geo about it. He wouldn't understand. And I didn't want them knowing about my fight with Zach. People liked Zach, and I wanted to keep it that way. I wasn't going to make a villain out of him just because he thought he was doing the right thing. What was best for me. "I'm not going out tonight, Geo. I don't feel well."
There was a pause before he was able to speak. "Breakfast then?"
"Sure."
"Zoey, did I do something that your brother didn't like?"
"Yes. That second round thing with Matt." I covered my eyes with my forearms. I half-expected my brother to react this way. But to go as far as urge Mom to make me move to his condo? That was beyond acceptable in any brother-sister terms.
"Hmmm. I would've thought he'd be happy about it since they're really close."
I thought so, too. "It's not Matt. It's me."
"I can cancel that, you know," he offered.
"No."
I wouldn't give my brother that kind of satisfaction.
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