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Baron[Dropped]

Fantasy 1 章節 2.9K 流覽

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摘要

Before the dawn of The Universe there was nothing but then the nothing changed into something which created GOD but this won't be the same story as the Gensis of Adam and Eve the first humans it will be the Dawn of another Universe where the world is filled with magic

Parents Strongly Cautioned

每周推薦票狀態

Rank -- 推薦票 榜單
Stone -- 推薦票

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2評論

  • 寫作品質
  • 更新的穩定性
  • 故事發展
  • 人物形象設計
  • 世界背景

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PettyOfficer

I’m giving you an F, but in review form: arbitrary 4/5 for writing quality, 2/5 for updating stability, 4/5 for story development potential, 2/5 for character design, and 2/5 stars for world background. Clearly, you have some grasp of the English language. However, your formatting is atrocious. Separate your dialogue from your narration. Maintain past tense for your verbs in your independent clauses if you began with past tense. Stop making run-on sentences. You haven’t more than 2 Webnovel pages to show for 4 months of your own review existing. Your take on creation from nothing is interesting, but I can’t tell anything else. The characters appear belatedly affixed, as if there should be a need to tell, and not show, how they are. You should not address the reader as if they should read the expression of a character. Describe it yourself. You are leading the orchestra, not demanding them to play music. The world is literally nothing. It’s a huge negative for me, but it can be a positive if you create something in that nothing.

4yr
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AbyssalChaos_King

Read the book you dolts and aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!assassaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaàaaaaaaaaaaaasasassaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaabsdbhdjddhhfdhhdhdhdhdhdhdhddhhdhdhff

4yr
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