章節 3: Romantic Warrior (Part 3)
That evening, I called Touka's house directly.
"Miyashita speaking," her mother answered.
In the most serious voice, I said, "Hello. This is Takeda from the Shinyo Academy discipline committee. Is Touka present?"
When she heard the words 'discipline committee,' Touka's mother made a little gasping sound into the receiver.
"H-has Touka done anything...? But we haven't seen that since she started high school..."
That?
"I'd like to speak to her directly, if possible."
"O-of course! Just a moment," she said in a much too respectful tone for some high school kid.
Any other mother would have just said, "Hang on a sec," or something equally trite. She must have been distressed.
"Touka speaking," said Touka, in her usual voice.
"Hi, it's Takeda."
"Yes?" she said flatly. Presumably, her mother was hovering near by.
Apparently, Miyashita residence still didn't have any other extensions.
"Did you go somewhere this Sunday?"
"Not really," she said, knocking the receiver twice.
I took this to mean the same as two fingers held up in our sign language. It meant, 'Sorry, not right now.'
Obviously, I already knew that, but I had to ask anyway.
"Hey."
"Yes?"
"You ever heard of Boogiepop?"
"Eh?" she said blankly.
I'd caught her off guard.
"What's that?" She wasn't acting.
She really didn't know.
"Nevermind. It's not important. I just really wanted to hear your voice, is all. Sorry."
"Thank you," she said, very politely as if for her mother's benefit.
I translated it as a sign of pleasure.
So, it looked like she didn't hate me after all.
"Then, I'll see you tomorrow at school."
"Sounds good."
I hung up first, and silence overcame me.
I crossed my arms and tried to think. That Boogiepop guy had been right. Touka had completely forgotten our date on the day before, and our promise to meet after school today.
"She doesn't know," he had said, standing on the school roof, in the light of the setting sun. "If something threatens to erode her foothold of ignorance, she instantly ceases to know that as well. To erase the anomaly caused by not meeting you yesterday, she will have deleted all memories of the date from her mind."
"Deleted?" I said, still reeling, barely keeping up. "You mean, she's forgotten that we were supposed to meet?"
"Precisely. But this is assuredly not because she doesn't take you seriously. Quite the reverse. I imagine she loves you quite a lot. Which is exactly why she needs to forget so thoroughly."
"How so?"
"So that she doesn't feel guilty. She doesn't want to even think about you being mad at her. But that is something beyond her control," he said from her very own lips.
"What exactly are you? How long have you been... Possessing her?"
"Possessing? Can't say I like that choice of words. It's not like chose to appear."
"Then why do you?!"
"Because danger is upon us," he said, gazing at me levelly.
I flinced. His gaze held daggers.
"I am automatic. When I detect adversity approaching, I float up out of Miyashita Touka. That's why I am Boogiepop-phantasmal, like bubbles."
"Adversity? What kind of...?"
"There's a devil nesting in this school."
I know that sounds absolutely nuts coming from me, but when he said, the look in his eyes was unmistakable - he was completely serious.
The setting sun sent long shadows across the roof.
Boogiepop's black clothes made him look half invisible and he virtually faded into the darkness.
"It's hidden among you now, but it poses a very real threat. It has barely begun to stir, but once it does, it will mean the end of the world."
His words were the ravings of a lunatic, but if you actually looked at him and heard his voice, they were horribly convincing.
"Are... Aren't you the same thing?" I asked, resisting him with everything I had.
For me, this man taking up residence in Touka's body was pretty much the same as the end of the world.
Touka's other personality replied calmly, "I'm aware of that, which is why I never came out for long. This is also automatic. The rest of the time, I live peacefully as Miyashita Touka; gazing at you with ardor."
"Ardor? Hey...!"
There was something antiquated about his manner of speaking. He even called me 'kimi,' like a scholar from the Meiji era.
"My time today will shortly end. There is little meaning in my keeping watch like this, once school is over. Everyone has already gone home."
"So this dangerous being you've been going on about is one of the students?" I found myself asking.
Boogiepop nodded, "most likely."
"What is it, exactly?"
"It is better if you don't know."
"Because it is too dangerous. If you know more, something might happen to you. I would prefer to keep Miyashita Touka's lover out of harm's way."
I know I'm repeating myself, but he really does keep saying with her face and her voice.
"If it's that dangerous, I think I should know. That body doesn't belong to you alone, you know."
Even as I spoke, part of me was arguing that I shouldn't take this guy seriously.
Clearly, this was all just a paranoid delusion, caused by some bizarre psychological disease, brought about by instability in Touka's mind... Yet the creature before me was Touka and not Touka at the same time. I couldn't think otherwise.
Boogiepop sighed. "All right, but don't tell anyone else."
"Right," I replied, swallowing hard.
I steeled myself for anything.
But his words were too simple, and caught me by surprise.
"It's a man-eater."
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After I called Touka's house, I slumped dejectedly on my bed.
My head was a mess.
A split personality?
The school... No, the entire world was in danger?
What the hell?!
As far as delusions went, it was pretty damn delusional. It was like one of those crazy-school-bound RPGs.
(But I don't want to exactly go and drag Touka off to some psych ward...)
Boogiepop said Touka forgets everything. So, in a worst-case scenario, even if we went to a hospital and had a doctor look at her, Boogiepop might never even appear. That would make her seem like the sane one, while whoever took her would come off looking like a complete idiot.
On the way home from school, I had bought a paperback called "The Scream Inside - Multiple Personality Disorder," so I decided to delve into it now. I'd just grabbed the easiest looking one, but to my surprise, there had been entire section in the bookstore on psychological disorders. Surely, the world was crazy enough already without all these diseases, I thought.
The writer wrote in a very conventional tone, so it was readable enough, but the sentences were filled with difficult words that left my head spinning. I did catch the phrase, "This disease is exceedingly rare - if not almost unheard of - in Japan."
As far as I could tell, multiple personality disorder generally arises when someone is trapped in an oppressive situation and unable to cope with reality, shifting their emotions onto another personality in an attempt to create a new life.
"The human psyche is open to the possibilities of both good and evil. In my opinion, multiple personality disorder occurs when one of these possibilities, suppressed by societal pressures, declares independence and begins to fight to exist. Regardless of how diseased the result or how destructive it is on the host body and those around it, the possibility makes no distinction between good or evil." There was a lot of stuff like this where I kind of understood what I was reading, but at the same time, I didn't.
Apparently, in Japan, the basis of this type of action usually didn't have a clear font, which meant that the vast majority of incidents would result in schizophrenia rather than multiple personality disorder. To me, it's like talking about the difference between 'God' and 'The Universe.'
The author's name was Kirima Seiichi. There wasn't an author's profile attached to the book, so I had no way of telling who he was or what his credentials were. But somehow, what I'd read just felt right.
(Then what sort of possibility was Boogiepop? What had suppressed?)
I flopped back onto bed and stared at the ceiling.
'Do you think to do nothing when you see a fellow human crying?!'
These words ran through my head again. For some reason, I just couldn't stop thinking about them.
"So that's what it said. What do you think?" I asked Boogiepop.
It was the next day after school, and we were both on the roof again.
"A suppressed possibility? Hmm... Not a bad explanation, I suppose."
Miyashita had not been in class, so I'd swung by the roof on the off chance he was around. It seemed as though he took over the moment classes ended.
"But, in my case, I am not one of Miyashita Touka's other possibilities."
"Then what are you?"
"Good question. This world's...?" he said quite naturally.
For a moment, I couldn't grasp his meaning. It felt as though he hadn't finished his sentence, but, instead, had just let it trail off.
'This world's...?' This world's what?
Ignoring my blank look, he forged on, "I have no autonomy. I have no idea what Miyashita Touka might be thinking. She may well have some possibility, some hidden desire to produce me. But that has nothing to do with me. I have no dreams. I have only my duty. I am here only to carry out my purpose."
"To save mankind?"
"Yes."
"Why you?"
"I do not know. I would like to," Boogiepop sighed, staring up at the sky above his head.
Not looking at me, he continued, "So you wish to 'cure' me then?"
I jumped. Of course, part of me did want to. Miyashita Touka was my girlfriend. But I also felt it wasn't something I had to do.
"Mm, no... I don't know."
I wasn't making a guarded answer to keep an eye on his reaction; I was genuinely not sure anymore. It didn't seem like his presence was hurting anyone. Touka herself remained blissfully unaware.
(Only think it actually interferes is our dates.)
"I admit it would be better if I did not exist. If only there were no need for me..."
His profile was exactly like that of the girl I loved, and it looked somehow forlor, so without thinking, I blurted out, "It must be hard for you..."
Not exactly the way you react to the ravings of a delusional multiple personality, I admit.
"Well, I'm hardly ever here, so."
I'd thought he might be angered by my awkward attempt at sympathy, but he responded quietly.
Not crazy at all.
The two of us looked up at the sky. It was cloudy. This time, there was no beautiful sunset... Only darkness. There was a chill in the air, and it seemed as though cold rain might start falling at any second. It was the kind of day that dampens your spirit.
"Can I ask you something?"
"What's that?"
"The first time I saw you, what did you say to that homeless guy?"
"Nothing important."
"How did you make him stop crying?"
"I just gave him the encouragement he needed. Every person needs help when they're suffering."
"He needed help? How did you know?"
"He was crying. You could tell he was suffering just by looking at him," he said plainly, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
"But... But..." I sputtered, then sighed. "The rest of us ordinary people can't understand that way of thinking."
Even as I said it, I felt pathetic.
"You're a good man," Boogiepop suddenly said.
"Huh?"
"I think I know what Miyashita Touka sees in you."
"Please don't say things like that with her face. When I meet her tomorrow, I won't know what to do..." I said, realizing that this meant I had completely accepted Boogiepop as an independent existence.
Boogiepop made a strange expression. Beneath the low brim of his hat, his left eye narrowed and the right side of his mouth twisted upwards. It was a very asymmetrical expression that Touka would never make.
"Don't worry. I am me, and she is herself."
Later, I wondered if that expression was a strained sort of grin, but at the time, it baffled me. It was a sort of grin that seemed both sarcastic and somewhat diabolical at the same time.
I never did see him smile, though.
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