Q: do you think glass coffins would sell?
A: it remains to be seen.
Q: what kind of tea is hard to swallow?
A: realitea.
Q: what's the best thing to put in a pie?
A: your teeth.
Q: what do you call cheese that isn't yours?
A: Nacho cheese!
Q: what did the DJ name his son?
A: erRICK!
Q: whats the worst thing about throwing a party in space?
A: you have to planet.
Q: did you hear about the peanut butter joke?
A: well I'm not telling you, you might spread it.
Q: why do french people like to eat snails?
A: because they don't like fast food?
Q: what is green and sings?
A: Elvis Parsley!
Q: what is white, has a horn, and gives milk?
A: a dairy truck.
Q: what do you give to a sick lemon?
A: lemon-AID!
Q: what do you call a cashew in a spacesuit?
A: an astro-nut
Q: what's the difference between a hippo and a zippo?
A: one is really heavy and the other is a little lighter
Q: How much does a pirate pay for corn?
A: a bucc-an-ear
q: how do you fix a brass instrument
a: you use a tuba glue
Q: why does 19 not like 20
A: because they had a fight and 20 won (21)
Q:why do battleships in norway have barcodes?
A: because they scan-da-navy-in
Q: What did the grape say when it got crushed?
A: Nothing it just let out a little wine
Q: what do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire
A: frostbite
Q: how do you make one vanish?
A: add a G and it's Gone
Q: what did the big buffalo say to the little buffalo on it's way to school?
A: bison
Q: why is dark spelled with k and not a c?
A: Because you can't c in the dark
Q: why do seagulls fly over the sea?
A: if they flew over the bay, they would be bagels
Q: what do you call someone with no body and no nose?
A: nobody knows
Q: what do you call a bad circumcision?
A: a rip off
Q: what does the Bermuda triangle and blondes have in common?
A: they both swallow a lot of sea man
Q: so 6 is scared of 7 because 789 but why does 10 have ptsd?
A: it was in between 9/11
Q: why is six afraid of seven?
A: because 7 is a registered 6- offender
Q: What's the most popular dating site in Alabama?
A: ancestry.com
Q: how do account's deal with constipation?
A: they work it out with a pencil!
Q: where does a fish keep it's money?
A: a riverbank!
Q: how much does a chimney cost?
A: Nothing it's on the house!
Q: Why does the leopard never win hide and seek?
A: Because he's always spotted
Q: why did tigger stick his head in the toilet?
A: he was looking for pooh
I was working on a few jokes about unemployment, but none of them work.
(Let me know what made you laugh, or if there is a specific category i should try to research)