章節 23: Let Go
Shouto was guided down to his feet by his team, mutters of "are you okay?" in his ear while he crouched. His head pounded, a rush of blood through his skull & out. It felt like a sledgehammer went through his head, through his spine, around his body, pumping his heart—panic gripped him with an iron fist, but he forced himself to fight it & pull himself to his feet. His head was on a swivel, almost.
"Todoroki, are you alright?" Iida drew close, helping Shouto stand while concern grew in his expression. "Do you need to see Recovery Girl?"
The dual-toned boy shook him off with a grunt, but almost fell over in his attempt to get away. His vision blacked for a moment before Kaminari caught him from his arms behind him, shouting, "Whoa, whoa, dude! Be careful, are you sure you're alright?"
Yaoyorozu added, "Maybe you should go see Recovery Girl anyway…"
Shouto blinked a few times, waiting for this sudden bout of vertigo to fade away. Finally, he was able to stand, refocusing himself, and he shook his head slowly. "No, I'm fine."
"Are you sure…?"
He ignored her and his eyes turned to focus on the team across from theirs. Nagisa's team. They were celebrating and circling around the crying form of Midoriya, teasing him and laughing. They were team number 4. Shouto met eyes with Nagisa as the boy turned toward him.
He scowled and looked away, leaving just as the rest of the students were dismissed for lunch.
—
Shame.
He had used his fire half when he swore he wouldn't—
He was so determined… all for nothing. He could feel his father's pride like acid down his spine, burning his chest & curling his stomach with disgust.
They were let out for a lunch break and Shouto sat in the waiting room in front of Recovery Girl's make-shift office in the stadium, his right hand on his forehead fighting off his massive headache pounding against his skull. Not many other students were here, except for those he could recognize; Kaminari, who had an ice pack on his forehead for the same reason as Shouto; the blond French kid in his class, who had a bucket between his legs and his arms coiled around his gut with a sickly expression; and the multiple armed student who got hit by a… tiger quirk? Dupliarms kid. Shouto wasn't good with names. The others there, he couldn't recognize.
Finally the door opened and Nagisa stepped out, ushered out by Recovery Girl who was chastising him on overusing his quirk. His eyes were red and wet, but it was the look Fuyumi often had whenever she put eyedrops in her eyes. Shouto stood up, just as Recovery looked at him and Kaminari, his eyes piercing Nagisa's.
She approached the two of them, handing them both a mild pain pill. "Take this with water, it should help with the headache. Or you can rest in my office on one of the cots before the next event, but I highly suggest you both get some food in you in the meantime," the healing hero explained before turning to the others in the room. "Shouji, hmm—you'll be fine, I looked at Fuwafuwa's files and her quirk will fade sometime between 12 or 24 hours. Aoyama, come inside and we'll get you a cot and some peppermint to quell your nausea. Let's see now…"
Recovery Girl dismissed those she already dealt with, her attention turning to the other students Shouto didn't recognize.
Seeing he was done there, Shouto gave Nagisa another hard stare. "Nagisa," he started, startling the snake-haired boy. "Let's talk."
Nagisa raised a brow, but nodded anyway.
—
"He-hey, where- wh-" Izuku paused, sitting down at their table in the dining hall, tray of food setting down. Instead of words, he just vaguely gestured to the empty seat next to him.
The table was occupied by himself, Karma, Uraraka, Iida, Tsuyu, Rio, Mei, and Tokoyami. It was obvious their missing member was Nagisa.
Karma swallowed his apple slice, and shrugged before answering, "'said something about needing to see Recovery Girl for his eyes."
"He burned his eyes out, huh?" Rio asked with a hum.
Uraraka frowned worriedly, lowering her drink, "did he use his quirk that much?"
"I'm lost, what?" Mei muttered, raising her head with a blank expression. Rio leaned in and explained Nagisa's quirk, to which she responded with an, "ooooooh!" before returning to tinkering with her gadget in her hand, as if her curiosity was quenched and she didn't need any more information. Rio rolled her eyes.
Izuku nodded understanding. Iida hummed as he sat down with orange juice in his hand. "Everyone should take this as a lesson to pay attention to how much you use or overuse your quirk!"
Karma raised a brow. "Are you saying I can overuse my horns?"
"Er- n-no, rather, I meant regarding emitter and transformation quirk—"
"Is this mutation quirk erasure, Iida? Are you being biased to non-mutation quirks?"
"Of- of course not! I-I simply mean—"
Rio let out a laugh and patted his shoulder. "Dude, he's messing with you!"
Iida's face grew several shades redder and sputtered, unsure of how to respond and instead decided to stick the straw of his orange juice in his mouth. The table burst into laughter. Izuku then delved into praising everyone for their performance during the cavalry battle—to which everyone countered by praising him, and melted the poor boy into a flustered puddle in his seat.
After they finished their quick lunch, they had another half hour of recreational activities for anyone else who wanted to participate between the main events. It was for the inclusion of all who were knocked out of the running after the race, a chance to show off quirks, let the food settle, and still have some fun. Most of the others decided they wanted to either walk around or participate in the side events as well.
Izuku let them go off without him, saying he was going to stop by Recovery Girl's to look for Nagisa. He vaguely noted that he didn't see Katsuki at all during lunch either—but given Izuku knew Nagisa better along with his recent dietary restrictions, Izuku decided to take a small fruit bowl with him to give to his friend when he found him so he wouldn't go starving during the next event.
As he made his way through the halls, following the signs that led to the older woman's nurse office. Most of the students were out in the fields or somewhere else—the hall was silent aside from his own footsteps echoing.
Then another pair of steps hit his ears, and he turned around out of curiosity.
A boy, with pink hair—no, tentacles, pulled back like dreads in a ponytail. Dark skin, speckled with darker spots, and a beak. He wore UA's track uniform. Izuku's heart stopped—this was…
"You're…"
The boy appeared to smile with his eyes. His hand was placed on his hip. "Hello again, Midoriya. It's been awhile."
Izuku nodded, swallowing thickly while he straightened up though he was on guard. "Ss-since th-the fo-fforest…"
Since last year…
"It's not time yet. I'm sorry. Please remember me when it's time, Midoriya-san."
"Indeed," the mysterious boy nodded, then gestured for him to follow him. "Let's talk."
—
It was an uncomfortable silence between the two boys, huddled in this small hall that hopefully no one would be accidentally wandering to. It was quite a bit out of the way, anyway. Nagisa could hear the sound of the crowds in the main field, the sound of Present Mic's booming voice explaining one of the side events that would take place during their break period that would be starting up soon while everyone ate their lunch. Nagisa tried not to think about how he'd probably miss his lunch too.
Todoroki's stare was piercing. Nagisa's own eyes started to burn with the air again.
"You overwhelmed me," the two-toned boy began, his voice thin and dull, but somehow it held… a type of poison. "So much so that I broke my own pledge. Everyone on your team and my own… none of them felt it. In that moment, only I felt that fear. That intimidation. That bloodlust."
Nagisa felt his blood turn to ice. He remembered back at the USJ, how he had disposed of those villain lackeys easily with his knife & quirk together, the way he threatened the one and still continued to make quick work of the others they met along the way. His irritation and rage at the situation, the audacity the villains had to threaten All Might's life must have been enough to let some of his bloodlust slip through the bars.
The snake-haired boy remained silent for a moment, his hands clenching behind him as he leaned on them against the wall. Finally, he opened his mouth, "... what are you getting at, Todoroki?"
"You're interesting to me," he continued on with a tilt of his head and narrowing of his eyes. "You and your quirk, but not just that—the way both you and Midoriya hold yourself. Back at the USJ, I felt threatened by you. Even during the cavalry battle, I did as well."
"Threatened?"
"That trick you used? That wasn't your quirk. That was something else."
Nagisa held his tongue for a moment, brows furrowed before giving a reply he felt satisfied with. "I had a private tutor last year."
A hum in response. "I'm sure from the same self-defense teacher you told me about." Sarcasm.
Todoroki's intense gaze was merciless. The shorter boy felt like his very soul was being sifted through for secrets. His eyes flicked away for a second. The half-hot half-cold teen across him let out a huff through his nostrils. He appeared to change the subject with what he said next, "You know my father is Endeavor. The number two hero. You and Midoriya seem to have All Might's attention quite a lot. Another secret, I suppose, but whatever. All the more reason for me to crush you."
Nagisa remained silent. Todoroki took this as permission to continue.
"My dad… he's a power-hungry bastard. He's worked himself half to death just to make a name for himself. Always seeing the Living Legend All Might as nothing but a roadblock and an eyesore. But he knows he could never surpass All Might on his own."
"Why are you telling me this?"
"Have you heard of quirk marriages?"
"Oh."
The terrible truth of Shouto's life was spilled like water across the floor to Nagisa. The words he spoke sounded like he was living his own life again, but at a different angle. His throat felt seized as he continued on. His hands grew clammy behind him, and even his snakes began to coil out from his hair.
It made sense. Him not using his fire half, but it was… Todoroki was limiting himself. He would never get there like that. Nagisa knew that feeling—denying his mother's control over him, but the only difference was Todoroki was allowed to get away with his form of rebellion, while Nagisa…
He thought of the broken glass table in their old dining room, blood dripping from his forehead with his mother, the face of a red ogre hovering above him. The emotional scars he gained from his mother were different from the physical scar Todoroki obtained from his. Nagisa never hated his mother, he loved her so much—he was just… terrified of her. He wondered if it was the same for Todoroki.
"In short," the boy seemed to finish, raising his eyes with a bitterness that could rival the ocean waters. "Not using my left side against you was my revenge on him. Never using my rotten father's quirk… no—by rising to the top without using it, I'll have denied him everything."
Nagisa's mouth started working within a second of processing what was said. "That's wrong."
He could feel the sudden drop in temperature. The audacity of him, to butt into Todoroki's family quarrel? But Nagisa didn't flinch, he didn't stand down. He kept staring Todoroki in the eyes.
"My mother… she was the same," he began, his calm voice betraying how frazzled he felt inside. "She wanted a little girl so badly, when she had me instead, she—she was so desperate to live vicariously through a little girl, the life she wasn't able to live herself… She would dress me up, force me to grow out my hair, call me the wrong pronouns… She was controlling, hurtful, manipulative. I was at a point last year where I thought I would do something terrible… I was her New Game+. A second life for her."
Blue hues dropped to the ground before raising again.
"My mother's quirk is called Fear-Control. It's a fear-based mind control quirk that I always viewed as villainous, especially when she used it on me to dress me up. My father's quirk is called Medusa, or Snake-Hair. She hated his quirk, and hated mine too. I basically grew up hating both quirks I was born with."
There was silence, but now Todoroki's gaze wasn't filled with anger anymore. It was more… understanding. Calm. "... What changed?" he asked.
Nagisa smiled softly. "I… I learned that these quirks I was born with, they weren't hers. They were mine. My snakes," he raised both his hands up for his snake heads to lower onto them. They began to cuddle into his cheeks. "weren't my mom's. And they weren't extensions of my dad's quirk either. These two are mine and mine to keep and take care of. No one else's."
"Mm," Todoroki hummed, eyes skipping away. "Maybe that line of thinking works for you. But I'm different."
"Of course you are, Todoroki."
An eyebrow raise.
Nagisa elaborated, "I never said you and I were the same. We're very similar though, and I—I want to offer you a safe place if your dad is ever… you know."
Todoroki nodded. "I… Thank you, Nagisa." There was a pause from both of them, and the dual-toned boy looked up again. "Don't think that this means we're buddy-buddy or that I'll go easy on you. I'll rise above you with just my right side."
"I don't support that decision, but I can't stop you," Nagisa gave a sigh, standing straight and off the wall just as Todoroki did the same, beginning to leave the hall toward the outer area. "I guess… All I can do is make my own promise. I won't lose either."
"I'll hold you to it. I still have questions for you, but I'll hold off for now."
Todoroki withdrew, and Nagisa was left alone with his thoughts. Ko and Roka lifted both their heads suddenly toward the other hall end, very light footsteps echoing in the distance just as the taste of another human reached his senses. Nagisa left.
創作者的想法 
BlackSwanna
BlackSwanna Okay, so this chapter is a reference to chapter 16 in History of HEROISM, my other fic full of drabbles taking place during their year in Class E-3! Please read those chapters, I will be continuing in references from that series in this one.
Chapter illustration: https://blackswanndraws.tumblr.com/post/611085365327151104/spoiler-art-for-chapter-19-of-heroism-im-about
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