章節 23: Chapter Twenty-two
Rose
''You left him, why did you leave him?!'' I shout as I turn to face Elis, tears streaming down my cheeks while I keep on imagining things that could've happened to him.
We could've pulled him out with him instead of leaving him there. My heart breaks at my imagination; letting me cover my face with my hand as I run my fingers through my hair, desperately. Elis on the other hand, immediately stops the car, glancing at my direction for a few seconds.
''You're fucked up!'' I shout.
When I turn to face him, I see him looking at me in surprised. The way his brown eyes just shows the exact sadness that I'm feeling, it soothes me but I can't help but be mad. I keep on hitting onto his chest, bringing out my pain and transferring it towards him.
''Rose, listen to me.'' He says, trying to cup my face but I keep on hitting him, ''Rose! For fuck's sake, listen to me. Just, listen to me, god damn it.'' He adds, this time I look up into his eyes as he wipes away my tears with his thumb; they never seem to stop from falling.
Our eyes meet in an instant and for a second, I really see Elia's eyes in his. My heart remains calm for a few minutes while we just stare into each other's eyes—I don't know what he sees in mine but I see sadness, frustration, desperation and pain in his. Yet, he's doing a great job at covering it up.
Without uttering a single word, he pulls me closer towards his, embracing me in a way to comfort and make me feel soothingly better
Without uttering a single word, he pulls me closer towards his, embracing me in a way to comfort and make me feel soothingly better. I continue to cry even in his arms because I know that in a way, Elis reminds me so much of Elia that it hurts. I'm here in his arms instead of Elia's, it pains me to accept that reality.
Elis rubs onto my back soothingly before placing one of his hand at the back of my head, lightly making me feel better in a way that I can't explain. I close my eyes as tears continue to stream down my cheeks—washing away the breaking pain.
''I'm sorry,'' He mutters near my ear.
I immediately pull away before looking into his eyes once more and he does the same. It satisfies me a little, knowing that he's affected by leaving his brother behind due to the redness of his eyes, ''Sorry doesn't fix things. You say sorry but it doesn't fix anything, things are still broken.'' I reply, under my breath.
''I know,'' He places his hand on the side of my face, ''I'm really sorry that I can't fix things. I'm sorry that I'm here but I'm useless. I'm sorry that I didn't pull him out with us. I'm sorry that I left him behind. I'm sorry that I listened to him. I'm sorry that I've caused so much trouble. I'm—''
I stop him by interrupting, ''You're not. You don't care about Elia,''
''I care. I care a lot more than you think. Please, Rose—'' He continues.
''No, don't! I don't want to hear you calling my name or explaining shit to me because for god's sake, Elis. You barely even talk to me and you look at me as if you despise me! So, don't bother.'' I say, not minding the tone of my voice because I mean every word. When I see the look on his face, I back away and open the door before getting out.
Within seconds, I find him following behind me. It takes me awhile to realise that we're in the middle of the highway where cars are everywhere in fast motion but I continue to walk the other way, wiping away the tears that has fallen.
''Rose,'' I hear him.
''Leave me alone!'' I glance behind for a few seconds before fastening my steps.
To my surprise, he quickly runs after me and he starts to pull me onto my wrist, making me turn to face him. My eyes wide as I feel him pulling me closer, ''Fuck, stop it! Stop walking away, it's not going to help so why are you walking away? Where do you want to go? What are you going to do? You don't have anywhere or anyone!'' He says, directly at my face.
''Far away from you, even it kills me, at least I won't be anywhere near you.'' I say through gritted teeth. Then, I pull away my hand roughly, earning myself another pull from him which causes me to groan loudly and push him away. Yet, he's strong. Too strong than me.
''Why are you being so stubborn?'' He sighs, frustratedly.
''Why do you bother? Just let me go, isn't that an easier option?'' I glare at him.
''I can't! I can't let you go and not knowing whether you'll be safe or not. Elia asked me to take care of you and make sure that you'll be alright—what do you think that I'm supposed to do? I don't even know where he is right now and I don't know if he made it out alive so just fucking listen to me because I've had enough of you trying to run away. I've had enough of fucked up shit going around in my life. So, please, I beg of you, just don't.'' He breathes out, causing me to look at him.
''You may think that I don't give a shit about my brothers but you're wrong. I care about them a lot more than I care about myself. The day I left, was the worst day of my life and the most fucked up decision that I've ever made. I've caused Elia's life this way, I've caused him so much chaos yet I blame it all on him. You want to know why? Because I want to make myself feel better,'' He adds.
I keep quiet, only listening to him.
''He should've lived a normal life, no deaths or guns involved. That was his fate, that was his destiny but he took mine while I took his. I blame myself for everything. I should've took my responsibility because I'm the big brother but I was a fucking asshole, I still am.'' He looks down at the ground before looking up and clenching his jaw.
''I'm sorry but he already hates me and I can't let him hate me more by letting you leave.'' He looks at me, trying to see any reaction but I keep quiet with a poker face even though every word he said is deeply in my head. Why does everything has to be complicated? I thought.
''It's all your fault,'' I mutter.
''I know.''
''You should really blame yourself,''
''I know.''
''And you should just fuck yourself,'' I look up into his eyes while he looks into mine. Sometimes, I never realise how many broken people are in the world—I've seen my part and Elia's part but I've never seen Elis's weakening like this. He doesn't seem like the type who hides many secrets.
He stays quiet for a few seconds, ''I know.''
''I'm coming with you but it's not because I pity you. It's because of Elia,'' I say without looking at his face before continuing to walk back towards the car. I know that he's still standing at the same spot as he eyes me from behind but I don't give a damn about him at the moment.
It feels longer than a regular car ride but I don't bother asking him where we're heading. He drives in silence and I stay the same—we don't need to break this silence by starting a conversation. We are strangers and we will remain strangers; we only know each other's name.
Once I see him stopping the car in front of a private residence, I turn to face the house. It doesn't surprise me anymore that the Morellos are awfully rich. I keep quiet and I start to get out of the car after Elis.
When we enter the house, I see a beautiful woman with dark brown hair, chatting with a woman in her maid uniform
When we enter the house, I see a beautiful woman with dark brown hair, chatting with a woman in her maid uniform. The way she talks, it shows how she's raised with elegance. Even from behind, I manage to see her as a confident woman—yet, she seems young.
''Mamma,'' I hear Elis call.
My eyes wide as soon as she turns around, revealing the brightest and lightest brown eyes I've ever seen. She smiles widely at her son; Elis before pulling me close for a hug. I manage to get a closer look on her face and I notice, with full of awe, that she is indeed beautiful.
''Come stai, mio figlio?'' She asks, pecking onto his cheek.
''I'm just the same, Mamma?'' He places a kiss on her forehead and she responds back with a smile as an answer. I stand awkwardly at my spot, watching them bond.
Within seconds, I see her glancing towards my direction before completely looking at me. She starts to stand up and push his son away slightly, trying to get a better look on me. I immediately blink a few times before tucking a strand of hair behind my ear.
It's really weird to meet Elia's mother with Elis instead of with Elia. Yes, they share the same mother and blood but it doesn't feel the same; even though it shows the same.
''This is Rose,'' Elis says from behind as his mother smiles at me before looking straight into my blue eyes. I can't help but notice how she's a charm—and how nice she is even by a single glance, ''She's a friend, a close friend.'' He adds.
''I'm Fiore. Come dear, make yourself at home.'' She touches my arm.
We walk towards the living room before we are fully seated but she can't seem to take her eyes off of me. Elis sits near his mother but he stays quiet, only eyeing his mother and I. While I sit without uttering a single word, she starts to speak, ''Ella è molto bella.''
''Sì,'' Elis replies, ''But mother, don't look at her that way. She'll feel uncomfortable,''
Fiore chuckles, ''Sì, sì, my apologies, dear. You're just very breathtaking and it's a surprise to see my son bringing a woman home especially Elis—he's not much of a sweet talker, I must say. It's a shock how he managed to bring you—''
He cuts off his mother, ''Like I said, she's a friend.''
''Whatever you say, Elis.'' She smiles, glancing towards my direction once more before looking at her son, ''How is Elia and Elliot? Are they doing well? I haven't seen Elliot in awhile, that joyful soul. He must've been busy,'' She asks.
Elis glances at my direction for a few seconds, ''Elia's as usual and Elliot is fine, mother. I can call him to come visit tomorrow if you want? He misses you,'' He responds.
All of a sudden, her eyes are filled with tears and she nods her head. For some reason, I am left surprised to see her having such a soft heart which causes me to feel a little bit sad. She must've missed her sons badly, knowing that they barely come to visit—especially Elia.
''I miss him too. You should really give him a call,'' She says.
Then, the three of us end up keeping quiet once more. Elis clears his throat, ''If you don't mind, Rose and I will be staying here for a few days. I thought it would be best to stay away from the city, too much pressure.'' He says and I just look down at my fingers—realising that he has not lied to his mother except for the part where she asked about Elia.
Then again, we don't even know if he's alright or not. So, he didn't jump to conclusions.
''Of course, Rose. Like I said, make yourself at home. Suit yourself in your most comfortable way. This house seems a little empty with only Barnet and I—having you two around to stay for awhile would be great company.'' She replies, lightly running her hand at Elis's back.
A couple of hours later, I am left staring at the glass window near the back—only watching flowers blossoming beautifully. My lips curve up into a small smile, realising that there's a lot of roses here other than different flowers. To my surprise, I find Fiore standing a few feet from me as she watches the roses, ''They are Elia's favourite.'' She says, breaking the silence.
''Especially orange coloured roses,'' She adds.
Roses. Is it a coincident?
''With their warm, vibrant tones, orange roses symbolise enthusiasm and desire. If someone is looking for a way to express admiration and attraction—with an underlying message of passion and excitement, they'll send you a bouquet filled with these fiery blooms.'' She breathes out, smiling as she eyes each of the orange roses, ''I haven't seen him for quite some time, I'm not so sure if his interest has changed.''
''I'm pretty sure they remain the same,'' I reply.
She turns to me, ''It's beautiful how your name is Rose. Have you met my son, Elia?''
I open my mouth to speak, almost saying about our first encounter but I look up and I see Elis standing near the wall as he eyes his mother and I from afar. I start to realise how it'll be inappropriate for her to know the true story—she would ask questions too if she knows that I'm actually closer with Elia than Elis.
''Yes, I have. A few times,'' I answer.
Her eyes twinkle with excitement, ''When was the last time you saw him, dear? How does he look like now?''
My heart weakens at her question, knowing that she hasn't seen her son for a very long time. ''A couple of days ago. Elia is undeniably handsome, he has this aura that no one can resist. That's your son,'' I keep quiet for awhile to see that she has a wide smile on her face, probably imagining how he looks like, ''I've met Elliot too, like you said, he's such a joyful soul. He never fails to make me laugh or smile.''
''I'm glad you met them, Rose.'' She wipes away a tear that has fallen, ''Excuse me for awhile,'' Then, she starts to make her way back into the living room—leaving me staring at her sight until she's gone.
Elis starts to appear from behind the wall, slowly approaching me. I sigh, turning to look at the flowers, pretending not to acknowledge his presence but I can't help but break the silence, ''Your mother is a very nice person.'' I say.
''The nicest I've ever met,'' He replies.
''Can I ask you a question?'' I turn to face him and see that he has already looked into my eyes, waiting for me to continue. For a second, I am suddenly lost into his brown eyes but I immediately blink, luckily he doesn't seem to notice. The differences between Elis's and Elia's eyes are not much but if I look closely, I manage to spot a lot of differences.
Elia's eyes are more softer and relaxed while Elis's eyes are more to serious and tensed. Yet, with a single glance, I never fail to see Elia's eyes—that's the only thing that I notice. They both have that kind of similarity.
''Why hasn't Elia come to visit?'' I ask.
Elis clenches his jaw for a few seconds, ''Due to his career, he has kept his distance away from us especially her. Ever since he accepted the position, he never really visit. I know it pains him and it hurts him not to see her for years but for the sake of her safety, he sacrifices everything. Honestly, he's far from that. The Elia I know is selfish and self-centred. He wouldn't mind risking other people's safety and he would think that he's capable of protecting someone just by keeping them close but for some reason, he's not like that anymore.'' He replies.
''When I saw him letting you last year, I was surprised. Elia wouldn't do that. He would keep you by his side and just go through things together because he knows that he's capable of protecting you but he let you go. For a year. I saw a whole different stages of pain that he had to go through all by himself without you but I knew he would make it out alive. He said he had finally set you free, that you wouldn't be trapped in a life like ours but he brought you back, drifting you back into reality.'' He continues.
''He can't seem to push you away,'' He breathes.
''What does that mean?'' I question.
''When he was with Danielle, things weren't as beautiful as you imagined. Well, it was at first but it ended pretty badly. Danielle found out the truth about Elia and unintentionally, she ended up hurting him too, in a way that he can barely stay. Trust. That's one of the things that caused their marriage to fail. It's something that they didn't have in each other,'' He breathes out, looking straight into my eyes without breaking the eye contact as he speaks.
''He promised not to meet anyone new afterwards because he knew that he wouldn't be able to love. Little did he know that he has found you,'' I look up, realising that Elis is actually telling me about Elia—a story that I can hardly hear from Elia myself. He wouldn't tell me, ''I know I'm not at the right place to tell you this but you should know, either way. Elia likes to keep things to himself. He has been through a lot more than what Elliot and I have been through. He's stronger than he should be,''
''Don't break him, Rose. He's fragile enough.'' He adds.
''Sometimes, I feel like I barely know him.'' I say, speaking the truth. Yes, we show affection towards each other and from the way he treats me, shows how much he wants me there. Yet, we hide our true selves. He won't sit down and tell me anything because I haven't done the same either.
''You actually know him more than you think. No one can easily pass through him, you managed to do that.'' He says, running his fingers through his thick brown hair.
For a second, I am immediately reminded by the explosion back at his house—making me close my eyes. I breathe out once more to find Elis staring down at me with slight concern in his eyes, ''What if he didn't make it? What if he's not strong enough? What if he's gone?'' I ask, terrified of the answers.
''There's a possibility but the chances are he's still alive,'' He replies.
We both keep quiet, our thoughts keeping us busy. I can't help but continue to think about Elia—of his current location and of his current situation. I want to be there for him, I want to be there with him. I want to make sure that we're able to go through things together again.
I wish he would just stop pushing me away.
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