章節 9: Scarlett Iris
Shivering uncontrollably, my mind was drawn to a blank as the shock reached to the lowest levels of my heart. Having been a few minutes late because of Kira, I eventually got hold of my school uniform and changed.
A little later, I rushed to school after noticing Kiras own car out front. Paying little attention to it, I beamed past it while focusing on getting to school. However, besides the sounding of the early bell echoing at the intersection I was at, I ran inside not long after and opened the door to my classroom.
Hesitant, my hair flew past me as I didn't bother to braid it like usual. What kept me from going to my seat was a set if low burning eyes as they changed while forming a soft smile.
"... Miss Kana? " Turning to a faint voice, I stared right into the colorless eyes of my homeroom teacher. "Do you know him? "
After processing what she told me in a whisper, I reluctantly understood and nodded. She then stood and asked Kira to leave the class
"Oh... But My darling, Xie wouldn't be able to study at het hardest without me... Isn't that right, honey? " His words were sharp, clear, and held a sense of playful cheer as he easily enjoyed messing with my life
"Are to you two... By any chance-" Standing still as Kira cut her off mid sentence, I froze.
"Married... Oh, but, of course... We are not as Xie rejected my proposal. Hmm. It was a saddening day to remember as she asserted herself in denying anyone to take her hand. How I long for the day she will finally accept my feelings... Oh... "
The class ate up his made up story and turned everyone into his favor. Regardless, as Kira stood up while wearing his expensive white suit, I couldn't hold my composure as everyone wad fawnig over the guy who made my life a living hell.
Befote I could move, I clenched my hands to my bag. Before I could speak, I bit and griyyef my teeth as he leaned close to whisper in my ear. Struggling to keep my anger fueled heart in check, he stood straight withiut a glimmer of sympathy and left without uttering another word.
As everyone turned thier eyes back to me after the door slid close, they reacted to traty eyed, anger striken expression. As a soft hand touched my shoulder, I ran from the classroom and headed in the opposite direction from Kira as I rushed into the bathrooms.
~
Washing my face to hide my watery eyes, I banged my hands down into the hard counter and cursed him for always intervening in my life. Every time he did something that either hurt or humiliated me, his cold and restless smile came into view. And when he leaned to speak to me, he gave the same smile as he spoke my name as well as a single word..
"Xie... Pity. " Knowing full well about what he meant, I was betkbd furious as he told a lie to get everyone to keep their distance from me.
Wanting to simply run away, I wanted ti escape his iron grip as even my own mother followed and tolerated him for he was both our savior or executioner as he had the power to drag us back to the mansion.
Letting him stay with us was a surprise as I remember passing my mothers, half open room and stared while holding my hand over my mouth at the few empty wine bottles on the floor. Her soft chuckling sent shivers down my back, however, I kept my focus on school as the key to saving everyone was girl me to get a high paying job and ensure we will never be hurt ever again.
At least, what's what I deluded myself into thinking as it was the only way for me to stay sane in that house where at any moment, men in black suits will take us to the mansion where nothing is ceritan.
We lived in fear, a constant broken connection was what all of us lost. That is, until we formed a new circle of just ourslelves. On the outside looking in we were a normal family. However, the reality wsd far from it as I had just realized my true self was always an angry little girl who despised the upper class as they always hung around, insulting my mom and never caring when a amid fell from being worn to the bone.
It took me years to forget my real self as I wanted to live a life, free and happy as myself. This was not me, even as I lift my hair to my ear, I out in a face and smile. Dripping my mask, I force it and calm myself as I returned to being Xue Kana once more.
I hated it... I hated all if it. My rage and hatred boiled up deep inside, however, I always managed to keep it locked tight as to not lash out at anyone.
Even on some days, I often wonder if being the little girl who once almsot stabbed a fork through the hand of a retired politician for simply flipping a maids dress.
Gasping from a sharp, stinging pain, I gubg over the counter as those ugly memories were locked away for a reason. Had I been honest witg myself, I would have ended up killing my mom from freight.
Which is why I had to lie, and lie, and lie sine more until I convinced myself I was actually a naive, goodie little girl who had never harbired a shred of hatred in her life.
My mind was muddy as I had sealed myself off in a glads body while waiting and saying things I would'nt normaly say or do. It was as if I was like a small ballerina that was locked away from the rest of the world. My head wad split as I held two polar opposites and kept one in a constant state of haze.
I was ill, there was no need for me to stay sane as what I did made others trust me was a lie to further my progress in reaching my objective.
The churning sound of claws, teaching from outside the glass box sheered my ears to a sound so excruciating, I would lose my mind many times over until getting used to it.
Sniffing my nose, I concentrated and ensured myself as I held my mask, perfectly in place.
~
The rest of the day passed without much incident. Within my haze, I had not seen Rin nor Mia since I left yesterday. A passing tornado of flashbacks suddenly popped into my head as what I did to them must had been more shocking that I let on to believe.
Afterwards, I headed home while gazing at my phone as Rins number stood in thin letters. Closing it when I got home, I regretted walking inside as my mom and Amy were sitting in the livingroom in silence.
"Nice of you to finally show up... Xie... Oh, sorry. These names you keep coming up with are exhausting. Even with it, I still don't know your true name... Makes me itch with wonder as your dear old mom would refuse, even my old man what your real name is after lying to his face. "
Throwing down an envelope to my feet, I looked at mom as I wondered what he was talking about. Looking at mom firmly clench her hands, I bent to pick it up. As I began opening the top with my thumb, my mom bursted into tears as she begged Kira not to let me see.
"Ugh... Disgusting... " I then jumped past him as he pushed her off. "Why make this mote difficult on yourself and everyone, Mirana... Just let her see... Or would you like first me to take her back to the mansion with me? "
Letting me go rather abruptly, my mom sat straight as she clenched her thighs as hard as she could.
"P-please... K-Master, Kira. Don't let her open-"
"So annoying! Either she opens it or I take her away to the mansion... Papa has been rather curious to meet her lately. " Sitting in silence as she was a mess, I shook ad my heart had been pounding loudly since walking inside.
With a moment of silence, I turned my focus to the envelope and opened the contents inside.
Tears fell from my moms face as I thoroughly and calmly read without losing my composure
Gulping, I looked away while holding my breath as my composure was breaking. The longer I read on, my chest felt heavy. Feeling her Sharp grip on my arm, I shrugged her off while racing upstairs and locking myself in my room.
Throwing the papers to the ground, I couldn't believe it... My real mom was not the woman downstairs. She was just a normal teenager who had just turned fifteen and met with an unfortunate accident the day after I was born. My father was still to be found, however, it made me go more insane when I saw the other documents of the accident.
Apparently, my mom was found by one of the nurses on the day she passed. The nurse on duty that night was Mirana. In whatever likely events, I was caught between several people who only wanted to use me as a tool for political gain. It turned out that, my teal mother wad actually an only child if a rather wealthy group in the Eastern trade.
Everything, including the company name fell down to her and when she passed, Mirana faked my death during my birth as to protect me. It wasn't until later that Mirana owed a huge sum of cash to a horrible tycoon.
In short, Mirana was the one responsible for my life ending up a disaster as I had to endure that harsh treatment growing up.
~
Stopping midway down the stairs, I called Kira up to my room. He was not surprised in the least as he calmly followed close behind.
Closing the door, I took off my glasses and looked at him right in his eyes.
"First... Was coming here part of your own actions or his? " Unwavering resolve, I looked at him as he spoke.
"Mine... I didn't tell anyone else. "Hid gaze had lossned as his eyes hung low for the first time since we met. "That was why I waited a day to tell you until Mirana found the copy of the envelope hidden in the trunk of the car and ripped it shreds before lighting it on fire. Thinking it was the only copy, she thought her word against mine would win. "
His eyes remained still as he looked at me for the first time in years. His usual cold, hardened gaze no longer tracked on his face.
"That's why she looked surprised when he threw another envelope at my feet. " Nodding, he then reached into his coat and took out a small button as he handed it to me.
"It belonged to your mother... Your real mother. On the day she passed, someone ripped off a button and wait a few years ubtil after they tracked you down to threaten you with a lie... I found them and that, I just thought you would want it-" Hugging him entirely, I then knew the reason why he was always hard on me.
It wasn't out of spite or hatred, Kira genuinely wanted to help me by toughening me to be able to take care of myself.
"If I could handle Kira, I could handle anything... " His face suddenly shoked me as I froze in place. "K... Kira... "
His soft pitch smile, radiated his eyes as they filled to the brim with a sort of sparkle as his face eased. It was as if a wave of relief finally passed through him from years of torment. In that moment I knew, he never regretted training me to become tough. Though, it hurt him every time he saw me cry or feel hurt, he buckled down to save me.
I then rested my head in his chest as he was caught off guard and stumbled a step back. Wrapping his arms around me, he held me like as if I was the only one he lived his life for.
"It was real... " A soft breath escaped my lips as he understood all those times he had to hurt me.
"It was... Sorry. " His apology gor everything he had done, shone brightly as I suddenly found comfort in an object I once hated with a passion.
Firmly keeping me in his embrace, I lifted my hand and held his face as I asled him why he would go that far for me. His playful smile spoke volumes as his feeling reached dme without fail. Then, he suddenly spoke with a tone so pure, I almost fell from the warmth if his breath.
"Its because I fell in love the moment you appeared at the mansion... I've fallen for you the moment you opened your teary eyes as a baby. When I first saw you, bundled up in a blanket, I was no more than three years old. And yet, out of all the girls there, you alone stood out and shined more brightly than anyone-" Cutting him off as I wrapped my arms around his neck, I fell deep into a trance as we kissed.
The colors began to fill my lips as I kept a low gaze as we looked into each others eyes. My loose hairstrands fell softly, yet, he did not falter as we both dove deeper into the others lips.
Pinning me down on my bed, we blended our chests to one another. Taking off his suit, I touched his chest as his firm warmth was felt through my finger tips. Kissing me without rest as if I was a rare sweet he couldn't get enough of. My mind was swirling as he began breathing down my neck with every kiss.
He was a candy I wanted to devour as his strong arms shifted my body without so much as faltering. He undressed me as all that remained was my underwear. Lifting me up, he held me in his arms as we kissed.
Slamming me onto my desk, I wrapped my legs around his waist as he looked for where to find the most dilectable part. We both ended up searching for it using out lips.
Pushing him down to my bed, I climbed over him as I tiltead my head to clear my hair. Kissing him even more intently, I began running down his toned chest. Wanting to go further, he held my hands and drew me to meet his gaze.
"What's wrong... " Catching our breath, he looked at me as I rested in his chest.
"I want it to be after we get married... I love you, theres no doubt in my heart about that. But, I have to tell you... I'm engaged. "Slapping the hell out of him, I quickly dressed myself up as he pleaded that it was an arranged marriage.
"What the hell, Kira... First your awful, then nice, then you pull this crap. I should have stayed far away from you, freaking jerk! "
Leaving my room and passing Marina and Amy, I left the house while taking my bag and coat with me.
~
As I found myself downtown, I stopped at a railway and sat down to calm my head. The shine if the setting light had begun to fade. As I sat in the passing breeze, I began to winder what the hell I was doing. My life ehad only gotten more complicated.
Hiding my face in my hands, I sniffed my nose and leaned back to watch the sky. Without any direction, a reason or purpose to strive for... I was listless as to what to do.
I then came to me that Amy and the boys were still in the picture. After prioritizing, I had a new goal which was close to the same ine as before.
Sliding my shoes, I dug my hands I to my coat as I stared out to the passing road as it stretched up to the mountains. Time began moving steady fast as I sat in a new world of uncertainty. Regardless, as long as I had a clear goal, I wouldn't give up.
Taking out my mothers button, I admired it while thinking of my mother as I wondered if she held the same attitude I did...
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