章節 61: Behind that door
|Innaya|
I breathed deeply. My current condition didn't differ much from the child who is enticed with a chocolate treat if he finished the cup of vegetable soup he detested. The child knows it's a trap, he might not get what is promised to him, yet with hope, he looks forward to it.
Arjun said I would find Eshan here, but what if he had left before we reached here? What if he saw me entering, and then left? What if Eshan wasn't here in the first place? What if Arjun was playing a cruel prank on me for taking revenge on behalf of his best friend? The number of 'what if's' were starting to give me headaches.
I started to have second thoughts on my decision of trusting Arjun. Did I misunderstand his sudden changed caring behavior? The teak wooden door ahead of me was the only thing stopping me from finding answers to all my questions. Just a step closer, and after opening the door, I would know to trust Arjun was the right decision or not.
I calmed myself. I didn't like raising my hopes, because hoping could be a double-edged sword. When hope is fulfilled, the abundant joy graces us. At the same time when it remains unfilled, all wait ahead of us is endless grief. For the last two months, I have had enough of grief. I could no longer handle any more of it.
However, my heart couldn't help, but hope. Hope, for meeting the man, I was relentlessly looking for. Hope, for having the chance to explain. Hope, of starting the blissful life, I had lost from the last two months, once again. My stupid heart dared to hope despite knowing the consequence.
I cleared my mind of everything, setting all thoughts aside. Suddenly, there was a flutter in my heart. My heartbeat picked up a pace. The feeling was different from what I had when I was stressed. I couldn't pinpoint what exactly that feeling was. I searched through my memories for an answer but found none.
I frowned when that feeling became persistent. I couldn't name it, couldn't describe it if one were to ask me. I concentrated on my breathing. At this point, maintaining my composure was of utmost priority. Everything else could wait.
Firming my resolve, I raised my right hand to knock on the door. Things would be clearer after the door opened. Seemed like the door wasn't locked because with just a slight force from my hand, and the door was pushed inside, revealing the inside of the room.
The first thing I noticed was the one I would have never imagined, and I would never want to. I don't know if it was my luck or just the intuition, but my gaze landed in the right corner, where someone was sitting. I pushed the door fully so that I could have a better look.
I took a step inside. Even though it was daytime before I had opened the door fully there wasn't enough light, rather the whole room was shadowed in the darkness. From the outside of the room, light entered inside the room making everything visible.
I stood rooted in my place. Against the wall, there sat the man. The very own person of my distress, misery, and pain, yet the only one who was the sole reason for my happiness.
Eshan.
Eshan sat on the floor, his hollow gaze fixed ahead on the something.
My heart clenched painfully in my chest not being able to bear the sight of him. The light in his brown eyes seemed to have died. His face had lost all the color, and the dark circles underneath his eyes told the tale of many sleepless nights he had spent. His midnight-black hair was disheveled, and grown long. The once clean-shaven face of his now sported the beard that almost made him look scary.
I held the doorframe for my support as my knees suddenly lost their ability to support me. With bated breath, I followed his line of sight only to gasp loudly. Before me, were the numerous photos covering the whole wall. That face of the girl in those photos belonged to me.
Realization of it being the same room, where I had last seen him hit me hard. It was the very same room that had my photos from my childhood to the present.
Eshan did not notice me. Not for once, his eyes flickered to me, not even when I moved towards him, not even when I stopped before him. I sunk to the ground as my legs trembled.
"Eshan," I called out his name, hesitantly. My voice shook with anxiety and nervousness.
Eshan stayed unmoved as if he never heard me. His unresponsiveness scared me. He did not glance at me as if I was not there. With trembling hand holding him by his cheek, I turned his face in my direction. He did not seem to realize I was there, calling him, holding him. The eyes that used to be full of life were now devoid of any emotions. It appeared as if he was not present there as if his soul was somewhere else.
"Eshan," the breathless whisper of his name left from my lips. I didn't recognize my voice anymore.
I shook him by his shoulders when his eyes sought those photos instead of me.
After countless failed attempts of having his attention, Eshan blinked his eyes at me.
"Innaya?"
He lifted his hand in a trance, but before it could reach to me, I saw him taking it back as if fearing something. However, his eyes were fixed on my face, as if memorizing every inch of it. He did not touch my face though.
"Eshan?" I called out to him. My heart was breaking watching his unresponsive figure.
"Eshan. Please talk to me," I pleaded to him, not hiding the panic in my voice, urging him to speak, whereas he remained impassive.
創作者的想法 
Mukta
Mukta First chapter for tonight.
Your thoughts please. I love your perspectives.
Guys there are three sites plagarising this novel, and I need to talk to them for taking it down. The other two updates might be delayed, but I will update them.
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