/ War / The Trap Called Equality
摘要
Equality. Peace. Freedom. We humans had fought endless battles and wars for these thoughts. Big and small conflicts are fought in order to achieve this ideas! Diffrent factions. diffrent nations. Diffrent colors and groups all war against each other. for fhe sake of these words.. is it really worth fighting for? dying for? bleeding for? Maybe we will find out on our final battle and clash.
Join Gray as he unlocks the truths and lies and separate the friends from enemies in this epic story that will surely have us wondering which is right and which is wrong..
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榜單 
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8評論
- 寫作品質
- 更新的穩定性
- 故事發展
- 人物形象設計
- 世界背景
與他人分享您的想法
寫檢討
I'll give the world background a perfect five. Overall I will say the story has a good plot. The writing style is ok but you have to work with some errors. I am not good with grammar so I cannot spot them. But I noticed some errors in capitalization. You willhave to work on that. That's all! 😊😊😊Hope you will continue writing the story.
First of all, the title "The Trap Called Equality" really caught my attention. Since there's only a few chapters so far I'm not sure about future stability of updates, but so far its a full five :) The grammar and spelling could be proof-read but overall, it's a pretty nice plot. Good luck and great job!
Hey! Good day to you! If you wanted to see whether you can get paid by distributing the current work or getting financial support by writing new work, you might want to email mollyringdom*@*gmail.com (delete *）We are mainly looking for adventurous novels (Fantasy, Sci-fi, Paranormal Urban, Action, Thriller/Suspense, Game Fiction). Looking forward to your email soon.
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Hey Webnovelist! Good day for writing! If you wanted to see whether you can get paid by distributing the current work or getting financial support by writing new work, you might want to email avarohm_review@outlook.com We are mainly looking for adventurous novels (Fantasy, Sci-fi, Paranormal Urban, Action, Thriller/Suspense, Game Fiction). A brief introduction along with a few samples or links will be appreciated when reaching out. You might be our next top writer!
Hey there! Good day for writing! If you wanted to see whether you can get paid by distributing the current work or getting financial support by writing new work, you might want to contact kenreview@outlook.com. A brief introduction, some sample chapters or links will be appreciated when reaching out.
You have a plot and direction for your story, author. I salute you for that. You also have a good grasp of how to play with your MC's emotions and ideas. The story is engaging. Your grammar still has room for improvement but you don't have to worry much about it because your sentences flow naturally and it's still easy to follow. I think what you should prioritize for now is the stability of updates and more on world background. Also, work on the punctuations and capitalization. Also break down your paragraphs into more paragraphs. I suggest you always leave the quoted conversations as a line/paragraph of itself. In other words, work on making your paragraphs easier on the eyes. Honestly, some chapters look more like a wall of text to me. And I hate to say this, but many readers dislike wall of texts. XD Uhh, no worries. This is all just the technical side. When it comes to content, you're already on the right direction. :-)
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