章節 55: Hold a candle
"You want to know why I am so hung up on him? The fact that I want to know why he left me? The reason why I hate him? It's just that I did not want him to leave me that year. Not because of how I loved him, but because I wanted him to protect me.
Min Soobin's presence to me was like a shield. It protected me from all the danger, and he provided me shelter from the storms, just like a roof. But when that roof disappeared, all the storm stuck me at once.
In other words, if he did not leave me, maybe I wouldn't have reached such a pitiful position. I don't have any regrets with my life currently, but back then, I suffered a lot. Everyday, I felt like dying, and there was no reason for me to live anymore.
After he left, it felt as if my life, that was like an fairytale, did not exist any longer; everything took a turn for the worse. Life was suffocating for me. That's why, I hate him. If he hadn't left, I would not have gone through this.
I know that this was none of his business, and it wasn't his obligation to help me. But this is just how I feel. Regardless of how hard I try, I am unable to help it.
If he had those memories of his, I would have cursed at him. I want him to feel guilty and pain for leaving me. Seeing him suffer is what I want the most," Miyeon said, "This side of mine is disgusting, right?"
Tears fell down both of Oh Miyeon's eyes, and while they slid down her cheeks, Minjae took one of the tissue from the table. Extending his hand towards her, he wiped away the tears from beneath her eyes.
"Then, hate me too, Oh Miyeon. That year, even I was unable to help you. When someone like Haera was able to show you support, I did nothing," Minjae voiced out, "I completely turned my back on you, so please hate me as well.
I should have gripped your hand tighter instead of letting go of it. That's why, please consider me important enough to get angry at me as well."
The desperation in Minjae's voice caused Oh Miyeon's eyes to widen for she wasn't expecting such words from him. Baffled by the situation, she did not know how to react to it.
"I can't do that," Miyeon vocalised, "The situation with me was quite serious, and I know that your parents would not have allowed you to approach me. That's why, I don't mind it, and I am really glad that you are there for me after all these years. Lee Minjae, this means a lot to me."
Minjae merely smiled at her.
Oh Miyeon's eyes did not miss the hurt that flashed through his eyes in that instant. Nonetheless, taking it to be her drunken mistake, she pushed that aside.
'I guess I can't hold a candle to Min Soobin in your heart.'
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