摘要
I rewrite the story to have a good grammars and fix some plot
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the story of a guy with a fusion of legendary and ancient
(1st ever Fanfic I write)
-- 推薦票
榜單 
-- 推薦票 你也許也喜歡
3評論
- 寫作品質
- 更新的穩定性
- 故事發展
- 人物形象設計
- 世界背景
與他人分享您的想法
寫檢討
The story has no character development and the story moves way to fast. You should develop the character more for example their personality, what they like to make it more enjoyable to read. The plot of the story moves way to fast, say you write a short story about going to a shop, your story is like "I went to a shop and bought some sweets and drinks". Instead a good story would include walking to the shops, describing the buildings around the area, describing the shop and including a lot more things.
揭示劇透
Well i rated to high XD Jdjdvdjfbdjdvjdbfjfvfjdbfidvfjdbfiejeuevdidvfufjdodbdzdjelenudhdjdidhdduhdkidid7dbdofusjspdjdhdiddvdhdkdjddudbhvtxgvcgchhfvkcfvbjj h j j h zni hgh ivh j i uu
Suck mah asshole /////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
揭示劇透