章節 110: Inner Demons
Bastian sat in the Cole family garden. It was a charming botanical wonder full of flowers Bastian had never seen before and well trimmed trees and hedges in neat little rows. Soon the plan would be put into action, and Bastian's mind had been racing. Several gardeners were tending to the maize of stunning flora. His clothes were fine and comfortable, provided by Tyson Cole while Bastian had been living under his house to prepare for the ensuing battle that was to come. His hair was growing again, in fact he found it grew quite quickly, but Bastian had become accustomed to keeping it short.
He had been taking walks in Tyson Cole's garden more frequently in the past few days, choosing to seclude himself in meditative isolation as much as he possibly could, and he knew why. Since the deafening roar – no, that was too recent – since he had woken up in a foreign body in this foreign land and trapped with this foreign soul inside him that claimed to have become a part of his own, Bastian had found himself restlessly pursued by situation after situation. It had dawned on Bastian that Minister Lee was right; the title of mark bearer (and the mark that came with it) would lead to him always be in the fray of things.
It had seemed that Bastian had been at the nexus of each situation, and the thought of what life would be like once the shield had worn off made him shudder. In turn, Bastian took these quiet moments whenever he could get them, for all he knew he wouldn't have moments of calm like this for a long time.
He sat down on a bench in the very middle of the maize. It was a wide clearing in the shape of a circle, with six paths leading in different directions. In the centre of the circle was a small pond. Large koi fish practiced their ancient dance, gracefully gliding around each other. As Bastian the earthling, (that's what he called the Bastian from his former life.) he had never been one for nostalgia. Now here, it seemed his previous home was all he could think about on days like this when he would let his mind wander.
Today he remembered, with a bitter smile, how he had often run away from his mundane life in search for adventure, hoping to stumble upon some grizzled old sailor who would ask him if he had any cheese like in 'treasure island', one of his favourite books as a child. He also would have been just as glad for a grey Wizard and his company of dwarves, to come and take him on some epic adventure like in 'the hobbit', another one of his childhood favourites that had been the basis for many of his fantasies.
Of course he had never gotten his call to adventure, not in that life anyway. So instead he buried himself deep in something he found just as interesting. It was science. He knew it sounded cheesy, but if he had to say where his love for the sciences had originated from hours spent in front of a box with a pair of bunny ear antennas perched on top of it watching Bill Nye the science guy.
That had been the fuel, slowly seeping into his heart, and the book, Bastian thought, had been the spark that ignited the flame of scientific wonder in him. It had been an old National geographic magazine. Bastian had picked it up in the waiting room for a dentist's appointment when he was twelve. The main article for that day had been black holes. Instantly Bastian had been amazed. He had begun to give up hope that anything other than the mundane normality of his current world existed but hearing of the cosmos and all its splendour he was immediately filled with wonder and the world had regained its magic.
Now the Hunger had come. Bastian rapidly found himself with a deep desire to know more – to know everything, even. Theoretical Physics had become his favourite, above all else. All his life, he had been searching for it, and here it was: Magic, or at least the closest thing there was to it. The mystique and charm of it all enchanted and held him, and the hunger consumed him. He wanted to know it all, and how it worked, he almost needed to.
"Sebastian." A voice called to him, drawing him away from his reminiscent thoughts and surprising him. Or maybe, Bastian had wondered later as he replayed this event, maybe he was surprised to have been surprised. He wasn't quite sure.
He leapt far from the bench, to the other side of the pond where the koi fish continued to swish and swirl in their elegant little dance, not oblivious to the brutish, violent rhythm of their land based counterparts, but indifferent towards them all the same.
Looking back, there was no one there.
"You've grown, little brother."
Startled again, he turned on the spot. Standing there was a young man, a few years older than Bastian himself.
"Who are you?" Bastian asked stupidly. The young man squinted his eyes a little and cocked his head to the side. Bastian needn't have asked. For one thing the man's purple hair was a tell-tale sign of who he was, not to mention Bastian already knew. The only problem was, for a single moment Bastian didn't know, but Sebastian did.
"Dorian." He heard himself say, although he wasn't sure if he had said it. His voice was now suddenly weak and full of longing.
The young man smiled, and seemed to examine him from head to toe. The two stood in silence. Bastian knew why his brother had been able to sneak up on him and catch him off his guard so easily. Dorian had long ago reached the Fusion Realm...at the age of fifteen. Caught in the blazing light of his brother, Sebastian couldn't hold a candle.
"Good news, brother." He spoke again, "Father has heard of your recent exploits, in fact many people have heard." The young man kept looking at Bastian, his inquisitive smile never fading as he passed for dramatic effect and walked closer, lowering his voice. "You awoke the dragon." Bastian staggered backwards, not sure of what to do.
"Your imagination wanders brother, but it was not a bad idea. I have praise for whoever did it. Anyway, father wants you home as soon as your business here is settled. You'll be coming home, little brother." Dorian laughed and embraced Bastian, then without warning, disappeared.
Bastian stood there, dumbstruck. A swirl of emotions came bubbling to the surface, and he wasn't sure how to feel. He staggered backwards and fell back onto the bench with his head clasped tightly between his hands. He felt angry and abandoned and scared and happy and hopeful and a great deal of other things at the same time, accept this wasn't Bastian the earthling, this was Sebastian. This was conflict.
Before, Bastian had been dominant. He had never had any family on Earth and was too busy to think about Sebastian's family here. Sebastian had been submissive, and the two had achieved a sort of harmony, but Sebastian was also young and unstable. Seeing his brother hear memories that Bastian hadn't even known they shared came forward. He saw his home, his siblings, and most of all, his parents. He remembered Dorian, and the hours they had spent together as Dorian tried to teach him to cultivate. He remembered all of these things Bastian had never bothered to comb through.
But there was the other half, Bastian the Earth Dweller. He looked upon these scattered memories held so fondly by his counterpart and felt nothing.
Bastian realized his entire time spent on sovereign continent, he had been two people, pretending to be one. "Home." Sebastian thought, voices in his head were arguing against each other in this heated debate over who Bastian really was.
"But that's not my home!" Bastian replied.
"My parents want me back."
"How? They're dead on earth."
"Yours are."
In that instant the voices stopped. As if some sudden realization had been made known to them. Suddenly Bastian felt a wrench, like a deep chasm cracking open in the depths of his psyche. He winced in pain, and the voices resumed their endless chattering. The words became muffled and inaudible, but all he could hear. All this time he had regarded himself as Bastian, but now he didn't know who he was. The voices rose, and so did the headache that had been looming for the past five minutes, like the thunderclouds in the horizon drawing ever closer.
"Both of you-" he trailed short. Bastian couldn't even hear his own voice anymore.
"BOTH OF YOU JUST SHUT UP!" he burst out, screaming into the garden.
Silence.
His headache quickly faded, and his mind was left at peace, for the time being. But Bastian could still see those ominous dark clouds, a perfect storm of insanity threatening his very existence from far away, or deep within.
At the moment, though, Bastian was in control again. He leaned forward and rubbed his temples, something Sarah, his ex wife on earth had done to him whenever he had a headache. Now he found it strangely soothing, even though he thought of her every time he did it.
"Bastian." Kenshin's voice came from right beside him, startling him for a second time in what was supposed to have been a peaceful walk.
"For the love of God don't sneak up on me like that." He said, a tone of exasperation in his voice.
"The city is under lockdown and the horde has already arrived. It's time." He said, ignoring Bastian's last remark.
"Got it."
Kenshin stood there for a moment, watching him silently, "Are you alright?"
Bastian got to his feet and shrugged, " I'm just fine." The two began walking out of the garden maize.
"You don't seem fine." Kenshin added.
"Someone's feeling chatty today."
"I'm serious." Kenshin placed a hand on Bastian's shoulder. "You seem...dishevelled."
Bastian considered telling him about the turmoil that had just split his mind in two, but thought better of it.
"Is it because of your brother?"
Bastian winced, and felt the split between his two selves widen a little. Somewhere far away in the recess of his mind Sebastian was saying, "Yes, my brother came to see me." While Bastian was simultaneously saying, "I don't have a brother."
"How did you-?"
"I heard him coming a mile away."
Bastian glared at Kenshin, not sure what to make of his last remark.
"Something like that."
"It's okay if you don't want to tell me, I have a feeling I'll find out sooner or later. But in the meantime just keep your shit together, I can see something's wrong, and I'm blind. I'm on my way to help Kitrid, I will back you up soon. Hold the fort." Kenshin winked at Bastian, pleased with himself at his use of Bastian's own speech patterns.
Bastian looked away, unsure of what to say and annoyed at Kenshin's 'all knowing big brother' tone. When he looked back Kenshin was gone.
"Believe me, I'm trying." He muttered under his breath, and walked on alone.
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