摘要
Tranque and Zwyah are 16 year old brothers in the year ????? and they will do whatever they can in this colorful world to stop Tantekuno from corrupting the world.
Tranque is a swordsman with a long black ponytail a shirt, a trench coat, pants, ans shoes in all black
Zwyah has short, spiky hair and weilds a crossbow. He wears a black vest and a brown overcoat
Sorentaku wears red Dragon armor and wields a 3 pointed spear. She has long yellow hair
These main three will do whatever they can to help the world and eternally bring it to peace!
標籤
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7評論
- 寫作品質
- 更新的穩定性
- 故事發展
- 人物形象設計
- 世界背景
與他人分享您的想法
寫檢討
this is me giving myself my own honest review about my novel (yes i am Oofooferyeah im currently in school) I think this novel lacks good world backround and character design/development and I belive i could do much better than what i currently have if i didnt try to rush all the time
Great job yeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeeyyeyeyeejdbsiiwsisidhsosidhsisosjjaaojsjsjajaiaiasususushdheueufjcbfjfifdfbfhxyzhdjdbgxbsizhsjahsididdkkdiddjjxdnkdskkshdidksvussbiaoajeoabskdisgshehehsueyshsgdbdhdhdnsjaodjx
Hey, the novel might have some shortcomings but I can feel the enthusiasm of the author. There aren't any issues that can't be solved with hard work in it anyway. Keep it up Mr./Mrs. Author !
You need to work on your writing quality, world background, and character design. The story starts so suddenly you can understand very little, though that might add charisma later to it.... But it makes understanding the story very difficult. Stability of updating though... It's very good till now.
Insteresting start, but your grammar needs some work. I recommend spacing your paragraphs and sentences more and running your chapters through spell check on word or any software. Make sure to add a synopsis and cover when you have time. But as a new author, you're doing fine. Keep it up! >3</
The world feels very flat, and characters aren't well described or feel fleshed out. You also suffer from grammar and flow issues. I think you have decent bones for a story but your chapters are very short at least the ones that I have read up until chapter 5. Silver Linings: Fighting brothers are usually popular. Your zaniness will help see you through action scenes. The action scenes were well executed.
揭示劇透卷 1 : The beginning
- 1 The Prologue 5 years ago
- 2 New Beginning 5 years ago
- 3 Sorentaku and Tranque? Dont Think So! 5 years ago
- 4 Nevermind Sorentaku X Tranque...IS A GO! 5 years ago
- 5 Time to relax 5 years ago
- 6 ZWYAH'S COMEBACK 5 years ago
- 7 Brothers Collide! 5 years ago
- 8 Tranqwya emerges! 5 years ago
- 9 Tantekuno Arrives! 5 years ago
- 10 Extraordinary Power! 100 Year Time Skip! 5 years ago
- 11 Tantekuno's Army! 5 years ago
- 12 The Mighty 15! Plus 10 to 1!? 5 years ago
- 13 2 & 3! The Twin Towers of Destruction? 5 years ago
- 14 The Mighty 7 and 6! 5 years ago
- 15 5 and 4! The Magtricity Bros and the Lamb! 5 years ago
- 16 Get getting With The Times! 5 years ago
- 17 Bonus! Part 1 of " The Life of Kohitsuji!" 5 years ago
- 18 Bonus part 2 of "The life of Kohitsuji!" 5 years ago
- 19 The Land of Mirrors! 5 years ago
- 20 Kohitsuji news 5 years ago
卷 2 : Weapon Of The Soul
- 21 Granmy's Granola Bars 5 years ago
- 22 The WOTS Village 5 years ago
- 23 The Tale Of The 4 Great Beards! 5 years ago
- 24 Troubles and Fun! 5 years ago
- 25 Kohitsuji's Life Part 3! 5 years ago
- 26 Kohitsuji's Life Part 4! 5 years ago
- 27 Marcus vs The Crazed Clown and The Magic Gravedigger! 5 years ago
- 28 Character Development!.....I guess... 5 years ago
- 29 Revenge 5 years ago
- 30 Shancklehaff Falls! The Concert! 5 years ago
卷 3 : It Truly Begins
- 31 Shi's Secret!? 5 years ago
- 32 The First Foe, Ekibyō! 5 years ago
- 33 Sensō Arrives! 5 years ago
- 34 The Battle Is Won! 5 years ago
- 35 Kikin and Shi arrive on the Battlefield! 5 years ago
- 36 The Battle Rages On 5 years ago
- 37 Soren's Past! 5 years ago
- 38 The World 5 years ago
- 39 A Rematch! Ekibyō vs Sorentaku! 5 years ago
- 40 The Battle Continues! 5 years ago
- 41 The Power Of Music 5 years ago
- 42 I'm Sorry....What? 5 years ago
- 43 The Adventure Continues 4 years ago
- 44 It Begins 4 years ago
- 45 The Return of One 4 years ago
- 46 A Hero Arrives 4 years ago
Ok ok ...."Rock hard fist" ??? -.- is it possible to hyperventilate in a fast manner? isn't that a bit redundant? ANYWAYS unique story but... I can't get over how quirky the characters are XD "That's a knee slapper" who says this?! Your story is actually very funny. It's kinda hard to take it seriously but its quite carefree and full of humor... writing quality isn't the best..3 stars..story development is a bit fast...4 stars..the characters are a bit thin in the personality department but characters interactions are funny XD...4 stars... I have absolutely no idea about the world background...3 stars... I still can't get over how Lucifer just pops up in the beginning and gives MC power XD..very funny novel with nice action...hahaha