摘要
what is your dreams when you cross to one piece?
My dream is to protect Nami, Robin, Hancock,
Perona .....
I WANT TO BECOME A HAREM KING!!!!!
sory for bad grammar hehe.....
-- 推薦票
榜單 
-- 推薦票 你也許也喜歡
12評論
3.22
- 寫作品質
- 更新的穩定性
- 故事發展
- 人物形象設計
- 世界背景
與他人分享您的想法
寫檢討
He lived 2-3 years in a village while training to grow strong and we know nothing of it He already lived a life an was an otaku so he should be wiser and quite savy but aside from training and cooking, he is a big disapointment He became a bounty hunter to get the money for his ship, nothing is said about his first real battles against human opponents To be a bounty hunter, he had to travel around, thus have some skill in navigation... looks like those navigation skills existed only for him to go in a training island and to gain bounties for the ship, because afterward they disappeared He is a complete pussy with girls even though he should know better So, the protagonist is the biggest disappointment in this story, after the lack of background info and details about the first battles
Sorry, but you're Grammar is just horrible. And from what I could gleam this story isn't even your creation to begin with. So just stop stealing something that isn't your creation.
Really bad grammer, story devopment, stolen translation, bad character development, world building bad, *sigh*.............,,.,,,,,,....,.,.,.,..............,___-_-_-_-_-_-----____---_____-_-_-_-_-_&-&-&-_-&__-_-_-_-_*_*&&*-,
More more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more
*cough**cough**cough**cough**cough**cough**cough**cough**cough**cough**cough**cough**cough**cough**cough**cough**cough**cough**cough**cough**cough**cough**cough**cough**cough**cough**cough**cough**cough**cough**cough**cough**cough**cough**cough**cough**cough**cough**cough**cough**cough**cough**cough**cough**cough**cough**cough**cough**cough**cough**cough**cough**cough**cough**cough**cough**cough**cough**cough**cough**cough**cough*
more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more
Sexy time with robin come on Sexy time with robin come on Sexy time with robin come on Sexy time with robin come on Sexy time with robin come on Sexy time with robin come on
(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ლ(╹◡╹ლ)(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ლ(╹◡╹ლ) (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ლ(╹◡╹ლ)(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ლ(╹◡╹ლ) (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ლ(╹◡╹ლ)(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ლ(╹◡╹ლ) (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ლ(╹◡╹ლ)(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ლ(╹◡╹ლ) (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ლ(╹◡╹ლ)(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ლ(╹◡╹ლ) (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ლ(╹◡╹ლ)(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ლ(╹◡╹ლ)
harem! harem!harem!harem!harem!harem!harem!harem!harem!harem!harem!harem!harem!harem!harem!harem!harem!harem!harem!harem!harem!harem!harem!harem!harem!harem!harem!harem!harem!harem!harem!harem!harem!harem!
HellYeah Harem Fanfic! Harem! Harem! Harem! Harem! Harem! Harem! Harem! Harem! Harem! Harem! Harem! Harem! Harem! Harem! Harem! Harem! Harem! Harem! Harem! Harem! Harem! Harem! Harem! Harem!
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揭示劇透卷 1
- 1 chapter 1 5 years ago
- 2 chapter 2- Cultivation 5 years ago
- 3 chapter 3-my sister is awesome 5 years ago
- 4 chapter 4- pirate hunter 5 years ago
- 5 chapter 5 - set sail 5 years ago
- 6 chapter 6 nami 5 years ago
- 7 chapter 7 - show your strenght 5 years ago
- 8 Chapter 8- V.S Buggy 5 years ago
- 9 Chapter 9-Sea Restaurant 5 years ago
- 10 Chapter 10- Mihawk 5 years ago
- 11 Chapter 11 Broken 5 years ago
- 12 Chapter 12- Cocoyasi village 5 years ago
I'm only giving one stars because this isn't your story to begin with. This is literally a 99% translation or a copycat of a One Piece fan-fiction posted on Qidian. Original is titled 海贼王之冒险之旅 on Qidian's main Chinese novel site. No credit was given in your synopsis or any of the chapters currently released and no I don't think you had the author's permission to use his materials either. I know the story and plot itself is nice because I had finished the original story but you butchered it somewhat with your own bad grammar and half-assed attempt to make it your own story. The only thing I've seen you change so far is the MC's name and that's it. Honestly the grammar is still readable and a lot better compared to machine/google translated material but this story isn't yours nor is it supposed to be in the "Original" novel section. At least give the author his credits.