/ Anime & Comics / Living life in Naruto relaxed. (I am Egotistical though.)
摘要
First off this is no where near like its cannon. Apparently the fact that is fan fiction people ignore really. You will not see your characters with there same personality. It would not make any sense with all the different exposure people have happen. The mc had a part of himself around way before the start of the series. He was an adult when Kushina left the village of whirlpool.
There are added characters that change the world and how you may have read.
Some things still happen, because why wouldnt they.
Events can still take place how they would before. It may be worst or better. The concept of the ripple effect or butterfly effect are just concepts. Think Final destination. death finds away or in this case the deities will find a way.
The story picks when Naruto is two years old. The timeline does not fit at all because I have included parts of the movies and the like. Also there is the ability dimension travel.
As well as there are deity at work.
This will not fit with society norms. Big shocker there. The fact you would think it was is ridiculous since Naruto is about children going to war. Something that a lot of people ignore. The fact that they are kids killing people tends to get glossed over.. a lot. If you want to see your characters as they always are, just read the original. There is no point in you reading a fan-fic.
"So first wish... Kryptonian Body. Second wish...Genius intellect to figure out techniques. Third Wish.. the ability to summon random people and things."
"Eh, don't really care for anything else. Feel free to grant what you feel. I'm kinda just gonna do nothing unless trouble comes knocking."
The God.. just stared.
"Funny thing about that, I am a God of fertility.. so you have to breed and make kids. Like a lot. A lot a lot. You are hyper fertile. Like by x3 one for each wish." The God smirked.
"I will also bestow on you the ability to move through dimensions and control of your body's cells and to that extent a little bit of others." The God said with a smile before sending Kai-La away.
DeviantArt
Broken Shield by hoangphamvfx enjoy his picture work.
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10評論
3.78
- 寫作品質
- 更新的穩定性
- 故事發展
- 人物形象設計
- 世界背景
與他人分享您的想法
寫檢討
Had a great start the pace is a bit out of track but the plot is there kinda casual and OP MC but the author needs to flesh out the conversations between the MC and his prospective wives more. Show how he makes them fall for him. Currently the author is doing a good job of making the most of his plot. ** : good fanfic you have here work on it a bit and try to bring in a bit more comedy it would go well with your MC's casual character. Thanks for writing this novel and keep up the great work, i appreciate it. 😁👍
This seems interesting so I'm gonna try it and it's extra exp so I'm gonna write this review cuz I feel like it .... . . . fillers: . Bla bla ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba na na na na na na na na na na bananaaaaaaaa nanananannanananananann potato po po po po po po po po po po po po po po po po po ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta at ta ta ta ta to toto to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to
terrible writing OP MC tryna be plot armor for Naruto and Konoha village yuck... terrible writing OP MC tryna be plot armor for Naruto and Konoha village yuck... terrible writing OP MC tryna be plot armor for Naruto and Konoha village yuck...
Thank you for what you're writing. I'm sure the rest of the story will also keep me entertained.******************************************************
goodgoodgoodgoodgoodgoodgoodgoodgoodgoodgoodgoodgoodgoodgoodgoodgoodgoodgoodgoodgoodgoodgoodgoodgoodgoodgoodgoodgoodgoodgoodgoodgoodgoodgoodgoodgoodgoodgoodgoodgoodgood
Well i want to get xp so why not comment on a new fan-fic and give it a bit of help to get started. Good luck and i will add your story to my library.
Dunno what to day buddy..!!! Can u make Onepiece Fanfic too Buddy??? Hope u make it... (づ￣ ³￣)づ(づ￣ ³￣)づ(づ￣ ³￣)づ(づ￣ ³￣)づ(づ￣ ³￣)づ(づ￣ ³￣)づ(づ￣ ³￣)づ(づ￣ ³￣)づ
Grammar: Safe and Readable. Update: Dunno, I am NEW here. Character: Safe, Not too Bad or too Good Story: It's Great, although I don't like some. But hey, not Anyone like what I like. World Building: So-So so far.
This is a good fanfic. But it's not the best as well. I always feel its kinda average 😂😅😂😂😂😂 😂😂😂😂 😂😂 😂😂 😂😂 😂 😂 😂😂 😂😂 😂😂 😂😂 😂😂 😂😂 😂😂 😂😂 😂😂 😂😂 😂
卷 0 : Auxiliary Volume
卷 1
- 1 Why did he make me one of them...? 4 years ago
- 2 Do you wanna be my first Wife? Thats important to me.. 5 years ago
- 3 Pakura's choice. 5 years ago
- 4 So how was it...? 5 years ago
- 5 So that is what happened. 5 years ago
- 6 First Morning..First breakfast 5 years ago
- 7 How to handle uninvited guests. But breakfast... fine. But your not stopping me. 5 years ago
- 8 Sarutobi The Third Hokage, and Danzo The man behind the Shadow. 5 years ago
- 9 The Trip to the Grass Vilage was troublesome. 5 years ago
- 10 Moving out...are we going to have a problem kid?? 5 years ago
- 11 Damn meteorites.... don't these have some kind of importance in this world? 5 years ago
- 12 Returning from the Grass Village. Finishing a meeting and small possibilities.. 5 years ago
- 13 Eh, it was a success. It would be better if I report tomorrow.. 5 years ago
- 14 Showing them a home. Well ok then Anko. 5 years ago
- 15 Out with Anko.... Yeah what could go wrong. 5 years ago
- 16 Getting ready for a battle with Oreo as well as.. shit.. 5 years ago
- 17 Fighting a Snake Sage as well as The Scorching Sand. 5 years ago
- 18 The God is here to Talk. Aftermath of the fight. 5 years ago
- 19 The kids they Need to train. But lets wrap some things up first. 5 years ago
- 20 Aburame...Yamanaka clan 5 years ago
- 21 Taking care of the Nine Tails. 5 years ago
- 22 A little night fun?? (Sex) 5 years ago
- 23 Another child?? Good news bad news. 5 years ago
- 24 Ninja team..team's 5 years ago
- 25 Training for the first time 5 years ago
- 26 A little training, a short family meeting. 5 years ago
- 27 Outcome of a mission. 5 years ago
- 28 A few days ago Root Compound 5 years ago
- 29 At the Doctor office's 5 years ago
- 30 The Next Hokage 5 years ago
- 31 Mist Ninja 5 years ago
- 32 Inuzuka and the Mission 5 years ago
- 33 A talk.. And new family members?? 5 years ago
- 34 Picnic day Part 1 5 years ago
- 35 Shipudden Episode 1 (Future Vision) 5 years ago
- 36 Picnic day Part 2 5 years ago
- 37 Picnic day Part 3 5 years ago
- 38 Picnic part 4. 5 years ago
- 39 A few months later. 5 years ago
- 40 Lady Sarutobi. Shuba wants to quit. 5 years ago
- 41 Hyuga incident Part 1. 5 years ago
- 42 Hyuga Incident Part 2 (Kiba) 5 years ago
- 43 Hyuga Incident Part 3 (TenTen) 5 years ago
- 44 Hyuga Incident part 4 (Kari's Fight) 5 years ago
- 45 Hyuga Incident Finale (Hyuga's Future) 5 years ago
- 46 Home?? 5 years ago
- 47 Mastica and Tsume 5 years ago
- 48 Babies.. 5 years ago
- 49 So we are going home now right..? Right? 5 years ago
- 50 Welcome back everyone.. 5 years ago
- 51 Your job will be.. (Sexual) 5 years ago
- 52 Umm yeah Dimensional travel. 5 years ago
- 53 Hisa (Sexual) 5 years ago
- 54 Price of Divinity 5 years ago
- 55 Talking to another Deity 5 years ago
- 56 Sleep with them 5 years ago
- 57 Not dropped 5 years ago
- 58 Sandcastles (Rough Draft) 5 years ago
- 59 Clash of Brothers & Gods 5 years ago
- 60 Kari Interlude 5 years ago
- 61 Back on the island 5 years ago
- 62 Returning home 5 years ago
- 63 Hozumi & Mastica (Sexual Content) 5 years ago
- 64 Some parenting 5 years ago
- 65 Kids and family decisions 5 years ago
- 66 Meeting 5 years ago
- 67 TenTen Fishing.. Uchiha future (Not Edited) 5 years ago
- 68 TenTen (I want to be a Genin!) 4 years ago
- 69 Genin Test TenTen, Karin, Ino (Rough Draft) 4 years ago
- 70 Your whose daughter? (Sexual Content) 4 years ago
卷 2 : Gennin for some. Chunin for the deserving. Jonin for one
- 71 Promotion to Genin 4 years ago
- 72 Snow Move Out 4 years ago
- 73 Uchiha Massacre Part 1 4 years ago
- 74 Uchiha Massacre Part 2 4 years ago
- 75 Uchiha Massacre Part 3 4 years ago
- 76 Uchiha Massacre Part 4 4 years ago
- 77 Uchiha Massacre Part 5 End 4 years ago
- 78 Naruto Part 1 Come on.. time for that trip.. 4 years ago
- 79 Naruto Part 2 What is your choice Naruto? 4 years ago
- 80 Snow Country Part 1 4 years ago
- 81 Snow Country Part 2 4 years ago
- 82 Snow Country Part 3 End Doomsday Part 1 Shu-La resolve 4 years ago
- 83 Leaf Village Doomsday Part 1 Kara & TenTen 4 years ago
- 84 Leaf Village Doomsday Part 2 End Kai-La Power fully formed 4 years ago
- 85 Some one gets busted. Not Edited. 4 years ago
- 86 Naruto Graduated 4 years ago
- 87 Naruto Real Mission Part 1 4 years ago
- 88 Naruto First Real Mission Part 2 4 years ago
- 89 Naruto First Real Mission part 3 (Not Edited) 4 years ago
- 90 Naruto First Real Mission Part 4 & 5 4 years ago
- 91 What is next after returning 4 years ago
- 92 Have to do what you have to do 4 years ago
- 93 Chunin Exam Part 1 First testing 4 years ago
- 94 Chunin Part 2 Clans and the Forest of Death 4 years ago
- 95 Chunin Exam Part 3 Dealing with a snake 4 years ago
- 96 Account 3 years ago
Writing quality is basic, I started to binge read this and after awhile I saw nothing but forced ideas and contradictions of the main character. The grammar is bad but not too bad, there are a lot of misspellings that honestly make me think that the author is an eight year old. An example would be, "Think you." ??? Correction, it would be, "Thank you." Stability of updates, I honestly don't care. You write, you write. You post, you post. Story development is quite slow and shockingly when it's slow, it's still chaotic and all over the place. Reading this honestly seemed promising at first but it became a train wreck fast. Character design, I said earlier the mc is contradicting. A lot of characters are OOC. "Oreo," is honestly a pure question mark and sh*t stain of what the ****. World background? It's from Naruto and all you really have to do is follow the essential parts and not do some crazy sh*t because chances are, you're going to screw up. Very few can pull of crazy sh*t, you are definitely not one of them. Goodluck, hopefully one day you can write something better and I might see it.