Even though Kim was misbehaving, Carl was still understanding enough, to wait patiently without trying to force her to do something she wouldn't want to. In his twenty-one years of living, he had never been in a relationship so he was still green behind the ears. He realized his earlier decision to wait was right. What if they were already in a relationship, will she act this way? Wouldn't it hurt more? Thinking of all these, he concluded he would stop chasing after her. She was not ready for a relationship, a commitment. She was not ready to put in the effort neither was she willing. He had no choice but to stop now before it's too late.
...
A few days went by in a breeze, it was now the 30th. They hadn't spoken since that day. Although he wanted to, he held himself back. He wanted her to come forward on her own. As he sat in his office, working, he got a call from her. His shoulders tensed as he held his breath and watched as the phone rang over and over again. He wasn't sure if he should take the call and if he did what would he say to her? When the phone stopped ringing, he finally exhaled. There wasn't the usual excitement, he didn't rush to pick the call like he usually did, he just felt this huge amount of pressure when he saw her name. And when it finally stopped ringing, he felt the weight was taken off. Was he going to call her back? He really wants to but he hardened his heart, he wasn't going to do that. He wouldn't speak to her until she returns.
At first, Kim assumed he was busy and he would probably call her later, may be during lunch, from noon till two, no calls. Then she told herself he would call towards the evening when he returned home, so she patiently waited, from five till eleven, but he didn't call her. She was indeed very worried because he always took her call on the first ring. However, this time around, he didn't take her call even though she called trice, he didn't try to call her back either.
She was indeed worried, she thought of the number of things that could go wrong to prevent him from taking her call. It never occurred to her that he did it in purpose. She wondered if he lost his phone, if he was involved in an accident, may be he was still at work and failed to check his phone. The next day, she tried calling again but it rang and rang, no answer. She waited patiently, at noon she called him but his line was busy. She wondered if he had seen her call or if he was doing it on purpose. She couldn't wait any longer to find out, so she lent a phone from one of the hostel borders to call him.
Surprisingly, he picked immediately. She was both worried and mad. How could he ignore her but take a stranger's call? "Hello?" She heard him say. Taking deep breaths, she tried to calm herself, she didn't want to assume anything. "Hello..." She greeted in reply. On hearing her voice, he took the phone away from his ears and looked at the screen, he was pretty sure it wasn't her number if not, he wouldn't have picked up. After confirming, he placed it back on his ears. "You didn't pick up, were you busy?" She asked over the line. "Not really." He spoke softly. "Then why didn't you take my calls or call back?" Rather than lie to her, he opted for the truth. "I didn't want to." He said breezily. "What?!" She exclaimed in disbelieve. 'I didn't want to.' kept ringing in her head. Swallowing the lump that had formed in her throat, she questioned, "Why?"
"Do you really not know?" He asked calmly. She shook her head, realizing he couldn't see her she replied, "No." On hearing her answer, he laughed at himself. "You should think about that yourself before calling me." He retorted before hanging up, he didn't wait for her reply. Kim stared at the phone stunned, "Did he just do that?" She muttered to herself. "It must be a mistake, may be the network." She said trying to convince herself otherwise. She returned the phone to the owner before using hers to call him. "What did I do wrong?" She asked. "You really can't see it, can you? How about I give you a way to figure it out, if I did to you what you did to me, would you like it?" He questioned her. "And what did I do?" She questioned once more. "Why don't you use the new year's eve to think about that? If after thinking about it and you really can't see what you did wrong, then..." He didn't complete his sentence. "Call me when you realize your wrong." He said before hanging up.
Readers,
You should read "Female Antagonist: Xuan Rong". It's amazing. Thank you for supporting my book.
Author.
Kim stared at her phone dumbfounded. In a daze, she walked back to her room. She least expected to hear what he said. She sat down to think about their situation. Had she really been wrong? Did she treat him poorly? Recalling what he had said, she thought back to the kiss. "If he kissed me and acted like I did.. would I like it?" Her answer made her realize she was at fault. Of course if a guy did that then he's a jerk. You can't leave a girl hanging like that. But he was a guy, right? Aren't they more used to rejection? Aren't they wired to scale over rejection from girls like nothing happened? Besides she didn't reject him, she was the one who initiated the kiss.
She had only kissed him and gotten moody because of certain problems she didn't wish to talk about and he did not understand. But thinking back, if he had been the one to kiss her and then treat her like a stranger, like she didn't exist, like she didn't matter, she would be offended. He would have been a rotten bastard to her, a jerk, a selfish person who would leave after getting what he wanted. After all if he wasn't sure of his feelings, why act on it? But all these and more is exactly what she did. She even attempted to sleep with him then ran away on her own after he left her hanging. If the reverse were the case, she would probably think he only wanted to sleep with her after which, leave her hanging. The normal hit-and-run popular with guys.
But is this really enough to ignore a person? She questioned. She was dealing with things of her own too. Her question would make a passer-by understand she wasn't in love with Carl. Can you possibly love someone and treat the person like he didn't matter to you? As she sat in her room, her roommate came in to see her in a foul mood. She wasn't someone who would interfere in someone else's business but since she's her roommate, her mood would eventually affect her. So she decided to butt in, just once. "Are you okay?" Rose asked with a frown.
"Yeah.. I mean do you think I was wrong?" She asked. Rose looked at her if to say 'how would I know what you're talking about?' Realizing she hadn't even told her the problem. Kim recounted the story. Rose observed her for a bit before commenting, "Do you know you have a problem with the way you think?" Sighing, she added, "You're much more selfish than I perceived. Anyway it's your problem." Rose said before lying on her bed. Kim was dazed, she wanted someone to tell her her fault. "You said I have a problem with the way I think, what do you mean?"
"Are you so blind, you can't see it or you're pretending to be ignorant?" Rose glared at her. "You certainly do not love him, let him be, don't dump your emotional garbage on him." She added. Kim was left speechless. She hadn't thought about love but at least she liked him, right? But emotional garbage? Wasn't that a little too harsh? She had difficulties of her own. "Oh..." Kim commented. Rose gave her the eye before picking up a book to read.
"I just.. have a lot to deal with." Kim said. "Deal with it don't bring it close to me." Rose said, flipping through the book. Kim did not understand that Rose did not want to talk anymore about her problem so she continued. "I just need time..." Rose rolled her eyes at her. "You didn't know you needed time when you kissed him?" Kim was quiet. She didn't know how to answer the question. She had always wanted to be with him, she wanted more than friendship. But now, she couldn't move forward anymore, she was stuck in a point in time. "I..." Rose immediately cut her off, "I don't need your explanation, neither do I care about it, you should go talk to someone that cares and don't rub your moodiness over this place."
Rose indeed had a sharp tongue, she doesn't care if you're hurt emotionally by her words, she would tell you the truth to your face. Kim sat down in shame, her hands played with her phone while she contemplated everything Rose said. Nobody actually cares.. she should talk to someone that actually did. The truth is that, if she told Carl her reasoning, he would probably kill his feelings for her. She was wrong, yet she was trying to justify her wrong by giving useless excuses. "Boys are wired to be rejected," what nonsense is that? Did she really not have compassion? It's clear she put herself first, but this way of thinking is dangerous. She doesn't acknowledge the hardship of others, she only thinks of herself. She tries to down play his feelings. To her, his hurt cannot be compared to hers. Even when she is wrong, rather than feel remorseful, she tries to justify the wrong.