章節 9: Stack between Depression and Acceptance
Did you know that there are stages that can be applied to broken hearted people supposedly used for ill people.
1st stage : Denial. When I read his text that
he wanted to break up. I thought he was kidding. I tried to deny it saying that he's just having the blues. so I told him lets talk about it when I get back. So I did what I usually do and then when we saw each other I asked again, and he said the same thing. I ask him why? what did I do wrong? Don't you love me anymore?
Comes the 2nd stage: Anger. Anger for what he wanted. for the wasted time. for the love I gave. for choosing him. so much hatred. so I lush out and said so many mean things. But most of all, I'm angry at myself for believing and trusting him. I hated and cursed him. It was like all the love that I gave turned to hate.
As times goes by, from days to months comes 3rd stage: Bargaining. I texted him. Asking what should I change, what can I do. I begged and pleaded and said a lot of things just for him to come back. But he never did.
So I got depress when nothing goes through which is the 4th stage: Depression. I shut everyone out. I got suicidal. My relatives told me to seek help. Even if I don't want to, They urge me. Did it help? not at all. I just learn to pretend that I'm alright. I tried every possible thing to stop what I felt but in vain. So I just went back to minimizing myself from interacting with other people. I reply when they chat, smile when they joke and go out when they ask. My family thought I was ok, so they stop caring to much and went back on their daily life.
5th stage: the last stage which is Acceptance.
I don't know if I'm already at this stage because I'm still lonely but I think I already accepted that we are not meant to be.
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