章節 42: What I Wanted
"G-girls?" My body tensed. "What about them?"
With crossed legs, she continued to play with her hair, twirling them in her fingers in a possible attempts at concealing her nervousness. However, I wasn't completely sure but what I can confirm was that her face was somewhat red. Maybe it was from the lighting, but I am certain it was red. Maybe she's embarrassed as well about the topic we were talking about?
"Just...about them," she whispered, looking away so as to avoid making eye contact with my bewildered gaze. "Like the anatomy and...where it feels good and stuff..." Her voice trailed off in the end and became extremely faint.
I wasn't able to say anything in response for I was captivated by that mysteriously erotic and seductive shyness that she exhibited. It made my heart race as I was exposed to a side of her that I had never seen before nor have I ever expected from her. Because of this polar difference from her usual calm and collected demeanor, I was intrigued by this sudden change in behavior, causing me to pay more attention on every part of her.
"Well..." I snapped out of that momentary lapse in thinking in order to progress the conversation and make it so that the awkwardness of the situation can be prevented from escalating. "The basics...yeah."
Loriana peered over at me, and then immediately looked away for a second and closed her eyes. Then, she took a deep breath.
"You know what these are, right?"
She pointed at the exposed skin on her chest that wasn't covered by the bathrobe. My eyes followed her finger and then onto the smooth, white skin on the exposed portions of her breasts. Immediately, more blood rushed to my face and onto my reproductive organ as her physical allure began working its effects even more on my body. Luckily, I had this pillow that I rested on my lap to cover my physical reaction with. In addition to that, I could now hear and feel my heart pumping inside my chest as its frequency increased.
"Y-yeah," I whispered, forcing myself to look away so as to keep my sanity intact.
"Well..." she began. "For women, having this part caressed often times feel extremely pleasing."
She pulled on the low collar of her bathrobe so as to show more of her breasts. However, as she did so though, she shyly looked away to the side. Maybe it was only when she's unable to see me that she can do actions of such sexual degree.
"H-have you ever felt a pair?" she asked. Her voice was extremely alluring as it was mixed with a hint of a shortness of breath.
I slowly began losing control over my mind as it forced itself to be centered around Loriana. Immediately, I was reminded of that night when she was drunk and I was...well...possessed? by Ralus's abilities and had felt her body over. That...weighed heavily on my consciences ever since, and the guilt had only recently gradually lessened.
"N-no," I lied and looked away.
The reason why I had lied was...well...to be truthful to her and also to conceal a fact to her.She holds no memory of that incident ever occurring because I had altered her memory, therefore in the world that she lived in, I had never felt them. In reality though, I had felt breasts but without her consent. It...it's an ominous feeling. The horror and fear of ruining our relationship prevented me from telling her the truth.
"You've never, huh?" Loriana whispered to herself.
I wasn't sure what she was thinking at the time, but I was consumed by that troubling guilt once again as it was brought up to my memory. I...I had almost violated her body and had laid my hands on her. That. I just can't get myself over that hunch and forget about it. I can't forget about it. Out of respect to her and to myself, I must suffer this torment.
"Alevian," I heard her voice. "If...if it's just the breasts..."
It is my weakness that had led to all that happening. If I were to have a stronger will then I would've been able to resist Ralus's temptations. It's not Ralus's fault to be honest, because in fact, I was also telling myself what he was telling me before he even said anything to me. Within me lives a monster called humanity's primitive lust. It's the urge to reproduce, my natural instinct that had lured me to do that evil. It's not Ralus's fault. It's my fault.
"Alevian, you seem kinda tired. I think we should get to the main point."
I felt my head burying into a pair of softness. They were nice and warm, and I could even smell the natural aroma of her body as my face was up against her breasts. I looked up with a dazed expression due to surprise and into her loving eyes.
"You must be super lonely," she whispered gently into my ear. Her breathing as she spoke tickled them. "That's why you want to spend more time, right? It's fine. It's fine."
It was then that I realized what it was all about. All that talk...it was her way of probing at my mental state. My mind then began racing back to that incident with Ralus and all the missions he had sent me.
Oh. It's because of this...That's why.
Every single mission that Ralus had sent me, from the very first mission I had received through the Socialization app...they had reflected my innermost desires for interactions. They weren't missions from Ralus to be exact, because sometimes I myself would wonder and imagine what would happen if I were to do things such as caress Loriana's legs. Those missions were reflections of my own lusts and desires I had kept concealed within myself, within this facade of a persona that I had created ever since I was tormented with the death of my father and the fall of my family. All that I had left was Loriana, so there exists an urge for me to become closer and closer to her. So close that the seeds of impurities fed on such desires, growing into lust and temptations.
"Loriana..."
I felt tears rolling down my cheeks as I finally realized what it was that I wanted. Ever since my father committed suicide and my mother running off with that man she was cheating with, I had been lonely all this time. I wanted someone there in my life, someone who can support me. I want people who cared for me. I want people around me that I can have a heart to heart with, someone that I can communicate with the sincerest intents from my heart. All I wanted was to be understood, to be loved, and to be cared for. However, I had sealed myself away, thinking that none of that was possible to someone like me. Ralus and his missions had slowly allowed me to chip away at that cage, forcing me to venture out more and explore this dangerous world. Desperate times calls for desperate measures. That is the reason why the missions were all...extremely abnormal. However, it was because of those abnormal missions that I was able to truly realize what was missing within me.
"It's fine, Alevian," Loriana rubbed my head with gentle strokes of her hand as she hugged me tightly. "I'll always be here for you. I will always love you, so please feel spoiled by me."
She spoke with a gentle whisper that was so soothing to the ear that it made me feel extremely safe and secure in her arms. In addition, her soft breasts were pressed against my face, and for some reason, they felt extremely calming.
"You can hug on as tightly as you want," she whispered, allowing me to hug onto her body even tighter.
I looked up and gazed into her eyes as she smiled shyly in response.
"It's my first time saying those kind of things," she blushed. "But...I feel like it's the best way to get you to relax."
"..."
"You might be confused as to why I began by talking about...well...sex," she continued to explain to me. "I felt that...it's a way to get you to show a weakness if you had asked to come to a place like this. Something must be truly bothering you and causing you a lot of stress for you to cry like you did today."
She then gently pushed my head away from her chest. Next, she brought her hands to the collar of her bathrobe and loosened them until her breasts were completely exposed to the air.
"I've read online that...well..." she blushed and looked away. "Being physically intimate with someone of the opposite gender relieves stress. If it will help," she said shyly as she peeked over into my eyes. "You can play with them if you want."
I wasn't able to say anything as I was extremely tired. My eye lids felt heavy, but I still dragged my body over hers as she laid down on the waterbed. With a hand on each of her breasts, I stared into her eyes.
"R-remember," she whispered. "It's only this and nothing else. Can you promise me that?"
It was after that night that I truly felt as if a burden was lifted from my shoulders.
每周推薦票狀態
-- 推薦票
榜單 
-- 推薦票